高三英语复习写作书面表达讲评课【全国一等奖】

高三复习写作讲评课Assessment&practiceofWriting2008年奥运会刚刚落幕，一家英文报刊在其网站上征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议．假设你叫李华，是该报的一名读者，请给该报编辑部写一封信，谈谈你的建议和理由．内容包括．１．向公众开放，用于健身２．租给体育公司，创造经济效益３．开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客．４．………Deareditor,IamLiHua,areaderofyourpaper.………………………………评分的四大纬度内容语法思想框架---组织结构要点全，拓展有度，有效连接词，作文结构紧凑；流畅准确，复杂语法结构，高级词汇，多种句型开放能引起读者的共鸣,灵魂常见错误:

1.单词拼写或用错：GiveyousomeadviseIjustprovideyoumyownsuggests.Theycanattactvisitors.advicesuggestionattract问题:2.时态语态问题

WemaygivenittothePEcompany.

WemaygiveittothePEcompany..3.主谓一致问题

Thesportstadiumsisverygreatandishighlyspokenofbytheforeigners.

Thesportstadiumsareverygreatandarehighlyspokenofbytheforeigners.4.逐字翻译问题

Thestadiumscanopentopeoplefordoexerciseuse.Thestadiumscanbeopened

topeoplefordoingexercises.问题:5.词性混淆问题Itcancreativemoney..Itcancreate/bringinmoney.Manypeoplecanusethemtostrongourbody.Manypeoplecanusethemtostrengthenourbody.6.介词短语的运用问题Iamwritingtomakesomeadviceforhowtomakefulluseofthesportsstadium.Iamwritingtomakesomeadviceonhowtomakefulluseofthesportsstadium.问题:句子结构不完整Onlymakefulluseofthemdoesitmakesense.OnlybymakingfulluseofthemdoesitmakesenseThe29thOlympicGameswhichhostedinBeijingwereheldsuccessfully.The29thOlympicGameswhichwerehostedinBeijingwere

heldsuccessfully.1.审题2.列提纲/要点3.连词成句4.连句成篇5.润色修正6.定稿写作步骤:体裁时态结构要求字数内容信息2信息3信息4开头正文结尾1.审题:体裁人称时态要求结构字数内容一般现在时Para.1Para.2Para.3抓要点,100-120数信息1信息5①08年奥运会刚刚落幕.②征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.③你想写一些建议.向公众开放，用于健身总结，意愿……书信格式租给体育公司，创造经济效益开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客第一,三人称①08年奥运会刚刚落幕.②征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.③你想写一些建议

2.列提纲/要点开头信息1①08年奥运会刚刚落幕.②征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.③你想写一些建议..Wanttowritesomeadvice/WouldliketogiveyousomeadviceContributesomesuggestionstoyou.CollectsomeadviceHowtouse/makeuseof/makethebestofthestadiums.AftertheOlympicGamesAfterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames.The2008BeijingOlympic/wereover/finished/heldsuccessfullyinBeijing.①向公众开放，用于健身.②租给体育公司，创造经济效益.③开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客

2.列提纲/要点.Useitas/beusedfor/as;takeitas;openitforPlacesofinterest/touristattractionsAttracttourists/appealtovisitors/beattractionforvisitorsGive…to/Rent…to/berentedtoSportcompany/companieswhichorganizematches/organizingmatchesMake/createmoney;bringinmoney/makemoreprofitsOpen/beopenedtothepeople/public/openthemtopublic.Beusedfor/as;bemadeto;Dosomeexercise/buildourbodies/strengthenourbodies信息2信息3信息4向公众开放，用于健身租给体育公司，创造经济效益开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客正文

2.列提纲/要点.信息5总结，意愿……结尾Inmyopinion/asfarasIamconcerned../frommypointofview.Iwouldappreciate…Iwouldyouwillthinkof/take…intoconsideration….

开头信息1①08年奥运会刚刚落幕.②征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.③你想写一些建议..3.连词成句①The2008BeijingOlympicGameswereover/finished.The29thOlympicGameswereheldsuccessfullyinBeijing.Beijinghostedthe29thOlympicGameswithagreatsuccess.①The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Beijingachieveditsdreamofhostingthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully.

②CollectsomeadviceHowtouse/makeuseof/makethebestofthestadiums.AftertheOlympicGamesAfterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames.②YouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakeuseofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGames.IhearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterBeijinghostedthe29thOlympicGamessuccessfully.③Wanttowritesomeadvice/WouldliketogiveyousomeadviceContributesomesuggestionstoyou.③Iwouldliketogiveyousomeadvice.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou

4.Useitas/beusedfor/as;takeitas;openitforPlacesofinterests/touristattractionsAttracttourists/appealtovisitors/beattractionforvisitors3.Give…to/Rent…to/berentedtoSportcompany/companieswhichorganizematches/organizingmatchesMake/creatmony;bringinmoney/makemoreprofits信息2信息3信息4向公众开放，用于健身租给体育公司，创造经济效益开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客正文3.连词成句2.Open/beopenedtothepeople/public/openthemtopublic.Beusedfor/as;bemadeto;Dosomeexercise/buildourbody/strengthenourbodies2.Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanbuildtheir

bodies/strengthentheirbodies

3.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmore

money/makemoreprofits4.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.

.信息5总结，意愿……结尾Inmyopinion/asfarasIamconcerned../frommypointofview.Iwouldappreciate…Iwouldyouwillthinkof/take…intoconsideration….Inaword…3.连词成句Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefulluseofthestadium.Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration4.连句成篇Para.1:

The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Para.2:Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanbuildtheirbodies/strengthentheirbodies.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmoremoney/makemoreprofits.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Para.3:

Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration4.连句成篇Para.1:

The29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiums.Iwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Para.1:

Ihearyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.4.连句成篇Para.2:Thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Para.2:Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.FirstofallFirstly,Tobeginwith,Inaddition,Besides,Moreover,What’smoreFinally,What’sworse,使用恰当的连接词逻辑角度合适的过渡性词汇⑴排序关系

⑵并列关系⑶举例关系⑷转折关系⑸因果关系⑹归纳总结⑺递进关系first;firstly;second;secondly;lastbutnotleastand;too;aswellas;alongwith;togetherwithforexample;forinstance;like;suchas;asto

but;however;while;though;onthecontrarybecause;since;thanksto;asaresult/consequence(of);thus;thereforeinaword;inshort;tosumup;inconclusionwhat’smore;besides;tomakemattersworse;what’sworse;worsestill;furthermore4.连句成篇

Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration5.润色修正二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力四.尝试多样化表达方式5.润色修正方式一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力①强调句②With短语复合结构③定语从句④名词性从句(主宾表同从句)⑤各种状语从句⑥被动语态一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力1.Manypeoplewanttovisitthestadium

.

2.Thestadiumisuseful.

Manypeoplearedyingtovisitthestadium.(唐珊）

Thestadiumisofgreatvalue.(王淑敏)5.润色修正1.The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended.Itleftmanystadiumsunused

The29thOlympicGamesweresuccessfullyended,leavingmanystadiumsunused（孙诒）.二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档5.润色修正1.wecanletstadiummakesenseOnlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadium2.Thestadiumscanberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits.theycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit.

Onlywhenwemakefulluseofthestadiumcanweletstadiummakesense(张文雪).Notonlycanthestadiumsberentedtothephysicalcompanytocreatemoreeconomicprofits,butalsotheycanbetheplacestoappealvisitorstopayavisit.(张蕾)5.润色修正三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力WeshouldtaketheOlympicstadiumsintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully.

The29thOlympicGameswereendedsuccessfully.westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives

ItistheOlympicstadiumsthatweshouldtakeintoconsiderationafterBeijinghostedthegamessuccessfully.Withthe29thOlympicGamesendedsuccessfully,westarttalkingabouthowtousethestadiumsproperlyforourdailylives.5.润色修正四.尝试多样化表达方式①强调句②With短语复合结构Youcanopenthemforthepublic.Thestadiumscanbeusedtotakeexercise.

Youcanopenthestadiumswhichcanbeusedtotakeexerciseforthepublic.(高玉华).5.润色修正四.尝试多样化表达方式③定语从句④各种状语从句我们锻炼的越多，我们就越健康。

Themoreexerciseswetake,thehealthierwewillbecome.⑤被动语态Weshouldpaymoreattentiontothestadiums.

Moreattentionshouldbepaidtothestadiums.(潘畅)

Iheardyouarecollectingsomeadviceonhowtomakethebestofthestadiumsafterthe29thOlympicGameswerehostedinBeijingwithagreatsuccess.HereIwouldliketocontributethefollowingsuggestionstoyou.Firstofall,thestadiumscanbeopenedtothepublic.Thepubliccanstrengthentheirbodies.Secondly,Thestadiumscanberentedtosportcompanywhichorganizematches.Itcanbringinmuchmoreprofits.lastbutnotleast,Theycanbeusedastouristattraction.Itcanattractmanyvisitors.Frommypointofview,weshoulddowhatwecantomakefullusethestadium.Iwouldappreciateitverymuchifyouwouldtakemyadviceintodeepconsideration5.润色修正高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求第五档（21-25分）完全完成了试题规定的任务:准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容，要点无遗漏应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇有少许错误，但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式所致；具备较强的语言应用能力有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑完全达到了预期的写作目的。第四档（16-20分）完成了试题规定的任务:比较准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求语法结构和词汇应用基本准确，少许错误主要是因为尝试较复杂语言结构或词汇所致应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的。