读后续写练习写作指导：林中探险火海迷途 讲义-2023届高三英语复习写作专项

读后续写练习写作指导：林中探险，火海迷途讲义续写题目读后续写阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Bradywasarecentlyretiredsearchandrescuedog.HewasnothappyandmissedhisownerAlbecauseAlhadgoneoutonarescuemissionwithouthim.Al'snephewStevetookBradyalongwhenheandhisfriendZachwentonaovernighth汰e.ButsuddenlySteveandZachsmelledsomethingburningandtheyrealizedthatlightninghadsetthewoodsonfire.Wind-blownflamehadleapedfromthetopofonetreetoanother.Thelongdrysummerhadturnedtheforestintoatinderbox（^<绒箱）andthethunderstormwasn'thelpingmuch.Ithadmorewindandlightningthanrain.ZachpulledSteve'sarm."Let'sgo!Wecanmakeitbacktotheriverwecrossedtoday/'StevepulledBrady'sleash（皮带）andtheirheadsdownagainstthestrongfire-wind,theyhurrieddownthepaththeyhadfollowedearlier.Theairwasfullofsmoke,andpinebranchesbrokefromburningtreeswithacrispsound.Stevekepthiseyesontheroute.Alltheyhadtodowastomakeitdowntotheriver.Bradybarkedasharpwarning.Aheadofthemlayadensecurtainofsmokeacrossthepath.They'dnevermakeitthroughthat.Theywouldhavetofindanotherescaperoute.Thedogwaspullingathisleashtryingtodrawthemawayfromthesmoke.ThiswaswhatBradywastrainedtodo,andyetStevewasuneasy.Itseemedtohimtheyweremovingawayfromtheriver.Bradyliftedhisheadandsmelledthesmokywind.Suddenly,thedogranawayanddisappeared.Theboysyelledandshoutedforhim,buthedidn'tcomeback.Theyhadnochoicebuttoleavehimbehind.Heartsick,SteveandZachwentupaslope（斜坡）,Hecouldn'tblameBradyforpanickingandescaping.Hehimselfwantedtoruneventhoughhedidn'thaveacluewhichway.Theyhadn'tgonefarwhentherewasafamiliarbark,andBradycamerunningtowardhim.Paragraphl："Whereveyoubeen?"Stevecried.Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.续写答案Paragraphl："WhereVeyoubeen?"Stevecried.Thesmokehaddarkenedhisskinandtheroaringflamesbelowrenderedhisvoicealmostindistinguishable.Bradyseemedtounderstandthattheyhadnotimetowaste.NippingSteve'spants,hestartedpulling.Seeingthedirectionhewasaimingat,bothZachandStevehesitated.Meanwhile,thefire,exacerbatedbythewind,wasgrowingbiggerandjumpingcloser.Lookingateachotherintheeye,theydecidedtotrustBradyandactwithspeed.Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.Havingcoveredtheirmouthandnosewithdampedtowels,theybravedthroughtheashes.Yet,theordealseemedneverending.Atthemomentwhentheirblurredvisionandleadenlegsthreatenedtofail,suddenlyafamiliarbabblepenetratedthedensesmoke.Astheystumbledahead,thetreesbecamesparseandfinallygavewaytoasilveryribbon.Aftercarefullycrossingtheriver,ZachandStevefellbesidetheirfurryfriend,whohadleftthemindespairbutreturnedwithhope.续写逐句精析Paragraphl："WhereVeyoubeen?"Stevecried.（首段续写根据提示语决定首尾。第一句说句'Steve叫道「你去哪儿了？〃〃第二句说句'Brady带着他们返回坡下,进入林中。〃那么第一段的结尾自然是"人决定相信狗，向坡下逃生"。通过逻辑倒退，前一环应是，〃狗的行为释放去坡下的信号〃。这中间，狗是如何传递信息？人又是如何被〃说服〃的呢？下面进入分句精析。）Thesmokehaddarkenedhisskinandtheroaringflamesbelowrenderedhisvoicealmostindistinguishable.（〃浓烟熏黑了Steve的皮肤，且剧烈燃烧的火焰让他的声音几乎听不清楚。〃首段提示语以问题形式出现，但第一句我没有写Brady的反应，而是先描写了Steve此时的状态，同时烘托出火势的严峻。这句话有两处语言上的思考：.火情借助浓烟和声音来凸显，表达自然且合理，避免与下文直接描写火焰重复；.Renderhisvoiceindistinguishable.用词清新准确,且听不清楚说话的声音,也为下文不设计对话做出合理铺垫。）Bradyseemedtounderstandthattheyhadnotimetowaste.（"Brady似乎理解已经没有时间可浪费了。〃拟人化处理Brady,塑造出符合原文〃retiredsearchandrescuedog退役的搜救犬〃的聪颖形象，为Brady成功带领Steve和Zach逃生做铺垫。此外，强调情况紧急，也铺垫了Brady下一步的直接行动。）NippingSteve'spants,hestartedpulling.（nip:牛津pinch,squeeze,orbitesharply:e.g.thedognippedhimon"ie/eg,此处形容Brady咬住Steve裤子的动作，分外恰当，又比bite清新。其次，Brady的动作也解答了上面的问题"狗如何传递信息？”动作符合读者对dog的行为预期，增强了文章的互动性和阅读的沉浸感。）Seeingthedirectionhewasaimingat,bothZachandStevehesitated.（"看到"他〃扯动的方向,两人都犹豫了。首先是人称代词的选取he指代Brady,thedog符合原文用法。续写过程中涉及到动物时，特别要注意的一点。其次，为什么这句话不直接说Brady扯动的方向，而要绕一个弯呢？其实是有原因的：读者阅读到第二段提示语时将会得知具体方向信息，此处在不影响剧情的情况下，既避免语言上的重复，又可以保留一层悬念。最后，当读者继续阅读，得知Brady提示他们往坡下撤离时，回头过来看hesitated又能有一重惊喜。为什么他们会犹豫？因为原文中Steve和Zach是在火海中迷路后，专门跑到坡上的。由此可推理出，坡下火情当更加严重，所以面对Brady的提示才会不决。这句话描写的人物反应，符合原文剧情和人物特点。）Meanwhile,thefirefexacerbatedbythewind,wasgrowingbiggerandjumpingcloser.（那么犹豫之下，又是什么迫使他们做出决定的呢？〃与此同时，被风浪煽动的火海正越变越大，越跳越近。〃Grow和jump赋予火海生命力。面对步步紧逼的火焰，向坡下成功撤离的可能越来越小，决定必须做出了。Exacerbate：牛津make（aproblem,badsituation,ornegativefeeling）w/orse符合此处干风助燃的情形，用词准确。）Lookingateachotherintheeye,theydecidedtotrustBradyandactwithspeed.（〃两人对视一眼，决定相信Brady并立刻还是行动。〃这段话中，Steve,Zach,Brady,smoke,flame,voice两人一狗，嗅觉，视觉，听觉轮番上阵，人物、动物与环境交错出镜，共同营造出故事的互动性和阅读沉浸感。至此，首段结束。）Paragraph2：Bradyledthembackdowntheslopeandintothetrees.（第二段聚焦Steve,Zach,Brady的逃亡之路。根据原文提示，〃Alltheyhadtodowastomakeitdowntotheriver.”逃生的终点应是Steve,Zach,Brady来时渡过的河流。那么这条河流何时出现？如何出现？第二段剧情设计，又该如何体现Steve一行所遇到的挑战，赋予环境生命力，以及设计一个能概括全文，升华主题的结尾？下面进入分句精析。）Havingcoveredtheirmouthandnosewithdampedtowels,theybravedthroughtheashes.（这句话有三重设计思考：原文中这样铺垫火情，"Aheadofthemlayadensecurtainofsmokeacrossthepath."那么这一行逃生时，为避免因滚滚浓烟窒息，用打湿的毛巾捂住口鼻是合理且必要的行为。brave：牛津endureorface（unpleasantconditionsorbehavior）without全"用brave替换常用的struggle,在此处不仅恰当，且更能体现人物的心理。throughtheashes.一场森林大火，不仅有浓烟，火焰，树枝断裂的声音，还有无处不在的灰烬。不断丰富的火场细节，让故事的真实性更上一层。）Yet,theordealseemedneverending.（但逃出生天怎可能如此简单？ordeal：牛津apainfulorhorrificexperience,especiallyaprotractedone在身体的所有器官都受到火海折磨，逃生显得分外漫长的此刻，用。rdeal格外恰当。）Atthemomentwhentheirblurredvisionandleadenlegsthreatenedtofail,suddenlyafamiliarbabblepenetratedthedensesmoke.（根据读后续写温暖人心地写作原则，最终Steve一行肯定要成功逃生，抵达来时的河流。那么这条河流该何时出现，又如何出现呢？〃就在他们模糊的视线和灌了铅的腿试图罢工之时，突然，一阵熟悉的潺潺穿透了浓密的烟雾。〃这句话有三重巧思：.剧情上。于绝境绽放的花朵分外惊艳。象征着希望的河流出现在Steve一行精疲力尽，到达极限的时刻，更显故事张力。.语言上，用blurredvisiona