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Author: KimSoskinCommunicationStylesApril1998Copyright©1998Bain&Company,Inc.Reviewer: DianneLedingham LizRamos CarthaO’Hare KaraGruver

1*第一页,共一百一十四页。

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda2*第二页,共一百一十四页。

Forcommunicationtobeeffective,thelistenermustreceivethemessagethespeakertransmitsinthewaythespeakerintendsCommunicationbreaksdownifthelistenerandthespeakerdonotsharethesamecommunicationstylewhatistransmittedisnotwhatisreceivedYoucanincreaseyoureffectivenessincommunicatingby:understandingyourlistener’scommunicationstyleexpandingyourabilitytocommunicateinyourlistener’sstyleUnderstandingyouraudienceiskeyforsuccessfulcommunicationOverview3*第三页,共一百一十四页。

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda4*第四页,共一百一十四页。

Audience

Communicators:anyonewhowantstoincreasecommunicationeffectivenessindividualsexperiencingdifficultycommunicatinginBain’spredominantstyleManagers:anyonewhomanagesaCommunicatorThismoduleisdesignedfortwoaudiencesCanIUseThisModule?5*第五页,共一百一十四页。

UnderstandimpactofcommunicationstyleonperformanceIdentifytheelementsofcommunicationstylesRecognizetheprimarycommunicationstyleatBaincharacteristicsvalueAssessyourcommunicationstrengths/weaknessesinBainenvironmentIdentifymeanstobuildskillspersonalinternal/externalresourcesTherearefiveobjectivesforcommunicators:CanIUseThisModule?(Objectives:Communicators)6*第六页,共一百一十四页。

ClarifytheimpactofcommunicationstyleontheperceptionofperformanceAddressstyleconcernsduringappraisal/coachingsessionsDescribeBain’sprimarystylecharacteristicsandvalueAssessindividual’sstylecharacteristicsinBainenvironmentProvidealternativestoincreaseeffectivenessTherearesixobjectivesformanagers:CanIUseThisModule?(Objectives:Managers)7*第七页,共一百一十四页。

Prepareextensively,meticulously--andthensaynothing?Wait--andwaitandwait--forsomeonetoaskyouropinion?Orforapauseinthediscussiontomakeyourpoint?Makesurewhateveryousayis110%accurateorelsesaynothingatall?Feellikeit’sawarinsteadofacaseteammeeting?Ifyouanswer“yes”toanyofthefollowingquestions,thismodulewillbeusefultoyouasacommunicator:Listenincredulouslyassomeoneelsetakescreditforyourideas?Findyourselfinterruptedconstantly?Presentsolid,well-thoughtoutideasonlytohavethemattacked?Dreadthatyouwillbeaskedsomethingyoudon’tknow?Atcaseteammeetings,doyou:CanIUseThisModule?8*第八页,共一百一十四页。

Ifyouanswer“yes”toanyofthefollowingquestions,thismodulewillbeusefultoyouasacommunicator:Atcaseteammeetings,doyou:Marvelattheconfidenceofyourteammembers?(Particularlythosewhoweresignificantlylesspreparedthanyou)Knowifyoucouldjusttalktoyourmanagerone-on-onethenyoucouldexplainyourself?“Youhavetospeakupmore”“Youshouldbemoredirect”“Youjustdon’tseemconfident”“Don’tworryifyourideasareperfect,justgetsomethingoutthere”“Haveyouthoughtaboutsigningupforacommunicationworkshop?”Inperformancereviews,doyouhear:CanIUseThisModule?9*第九页,共一百一十四页。

“Youhavetospeakupmore”“Youshouldbemoredirect”“Youjustdon’tseemconfident”“Don’tworryaboutwhetheryourideasareperfect,justgetthemoutthere”Ifyouareplanningtogiveanyofthefollowingadviceinanupcomingcoachingmeeting,thismoduleisimportantforyouasamanager:“I’mnotsureyou’rereadytoworkwiththeclient”“I’mnotsureyou’rereadytobepromoted”“I’mnotsureaboutyourfutureatBain”CanIUseThisModule?10*第十页,共一百一十四页。

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda11*第十一页,共一百一十四页。

Communication:

“Totransmitinformation,thought,orfeelingsothatitissatisfactorilyreceivedorunderstood”CommunicationissuccessfulonlywhenwhatyouhavetransmittedisreceivedSource:Webster’sNewCollegiateDictionary,G&CMerriamCompany,1995,ProcessOfCommunication12*第十二页,共一百一十四页。

Intention:TransmitMessageReceiveIntention:TransmitMessageReceiveSuccessful:Unsuccessful:ProcessOfCommunication13*第十三页,共一百一十四页。

Communicationoperatesontwolevels:message:information,thoughtorfeelingexpressedthroughwordsMetamessage:informationabouttheinteractionrelationship,attitude,activity,atmosphereexpressedthroughlanguageusagevoiceandbodydegreeofdirectnessCommunicationistransmittedontwolevels:messageandthemetamessage.Bothmustbeinterpretedaccuratelyforinteractiontobesuccessful.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanecologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972

HowCommunicationHappens14*第十四页,共一百一十四页。

Metamessagesprovidethekeytointerpretingtheconversation.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanEcologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972

Metamessageidentifiesactivityandatmosphereofinteractionargumentorchat inquiryorchallengeIdentifiesspeaker’sassumptionofrelationshipwithlistenersuperior/subordinatepeerfriend/adversaryIsconveyedthroughwordusage,bodylanguage,directnesshumorousorserioushostileorcollaborativeUnderstandingMetamessages15*第十五页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990;Bateson,Gregory,“StepstoanEcologyofMind”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1972WordsLanguageusage:Form:Function:ChoiceandcombinationofwordsStatement,questions,exclamationCommand,inquiry,apology,compliment,etc.BehaviorsVoice:Body:Tone,inflection,pace,pauses,volume,durationPosture,movement,gestures,facialexpressions,eyecontactDegreeofdirectnessDegreetowhichmeaningisliteralorsubjecttointerpretationMetamessageisacombinationofwordsandbehavior.Tointerpretmetamessage,consider:HowMetamessagesProvideInformation16*第十六页,共一百一十四页。

Directnessindicateswhetherwhatyousayiswhatyoumeanessentialcomponentofmetamessagethemoreindirectthecommunication,themoreneedforinterpretationgreateropportunityformisunderstandingFundamentalelementofcommunicationusevariessignificantlywithinstylesandwithinculturesDirectnessisindicatedthroughwordchoice,voice,and/orbodylanguageThemoreindirectacommunication,themorelikelyitwillbemisinterpretedSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994EffectofIndirectness17*第十七页,共一百一十四页。

DegreeofdirectnessaffectsthemeaningofthemessageSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994

WhatYouSayWhatYouMeanDirectCouldyouturnuptheheat?§

Couldyouturnuptheheat?IndirectIsitcoldinhere?§

Couldyouturnuptheheat?§

What’sthetemperatureherecomparedtosomewhereelse?§

Isthewindowopen?DirectBringmetheclientlist.§

Bringmetheclientlist.IndirectDowehavetheclientlist?§

Bringmetheclientlist.§

Whyisn’ttheclientlistonmydesk?§

Istheclientlistdoneyet?DegreeofDirectness:Examples18*第十八页,共一百一十四页。

Intention:TransmitInterpretReceiveorMessageideas,thoughts,feelingsexpressedwordsMetamessageinformationabouttheinteractionexpressedinlanguageusage,behaviorsandlevelofdirectnessUnderstandingCommunication19*第十九页,共一百一十四页。

“CanIHelpYou?”Thesamewordshavedifferentmeaningswhencombinedwithdifferentbehaviors.Successfulcommunicationdependsonaccurateinterpretationofwordsandbehaviors.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

SmileDirecteyecontactSoothingtoneLeanstowardspeakerOpenpostureFrownNoeyecontactImpatienttoneTurnedfromspeakerTapsfingersondeskSmirkRollseyesupwardChallengingtoneLeansbackinchairArmscrossedoverchestMetamessageExamples20*第二十页,共一百一十四页。

Possiblecombinationsoflanguageandbehavioraredizzyingneed“shorthand”processforinterpretingmetamessageCommunicationstylesprovidesprocesspatternsofautomatic,ritualizedbehaviorsprovidepredictableprocessforcommunicationallowsquickinterpretationmessagecontentrelationshipbetweenparticipantsactivityatmosphereCommunicationstyleisthe“logic”weusetomakesenseofinteractionsSource:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

ProcessofCommunication21*第二十一页,共一百一十四页。

Styleconsistsofautomatic,ritualizedpatternsofinteraction“Hi,howareyou?”“Fine,thanks.Andyou?“Fine.”“MayIhelpyou?”“Nothanks,I’mjustlooking.”“LetmeknowifIcanhelp.”TheinitialstatementsignalsthebeginningoftheritualThefollowingstepscompletethesharedpatternSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnderstandingStyle:Example22*第二十二页,共一百一十四页。

Ritualizedpatternsforgreetingpeopleyouknow:Differentcultureshavedifferentpatternsofinteraction.Theymakesenseintheculture,butnotoutsideofit.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

UnitedStates:“Howareyou?”“Fine.Howareyou”“Fine,thanks”Philippines“Whereareyougoing?”“Overthere”France“Bonjour”“Bonjour”AccompaniedbyhandshakeUnderstandingStyle:Example23*第二十三页,共一百一十四页。

Ourcommunicationstyleisourcharacteristicspeakingpattern.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995StyleallowsustoconsistentlypredictandrespondtometamessageofcommunicationStyleisbasedonculturallylearnedsignalsusetoconveyandinterpretmeaningnegotiaterelationshipsevaluateoneanotheraspeopleIndividualstyleisinfluencedby:ethnicitygenderclassgeographicregionfamily/communitynormsageacademicbackgroundUnderstandingStyle24*第二十四页,共一百一十四页。

OurownstyleisinvisibletouswetakeitforgrantedWeassumeeveryoneusesthesamestylewedoexpectcommunicationwillbepredictableStyleconfigureshowwecommunicate,butweareunawareofitSource:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallentineBooks,1990

UnderstandingStyle25*第二十五页,共一百一十四页。

CommunicationismostsuccessfulwhenstylesmatchmessageandmetamessageaccuratelyinterpretedbothpartiesaresatisfiedHowever,differentpeopleusedifferentstylesWhenstylesdon’tmatch,communicationcanfailinterpretationisnotaccuratepatternisinterpretedliterallybothpartiesarefrustratedoneorbothmayfeeltheyhavenotcommunicatedSuccessfulcommunicationdependsonmutualityofstylesSource:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990ComponentsofSuccessfulCommunication26*第二十六页,共一百一十四页。

ConfusionbetweenintentandeffectcausesfrustrationinbothpartiesSource:Tannen,Deborah,“Talking9to5”,AvonBooks,1994WhenStylesClash27*第二十七页,共一百一十四页。

Missingtheritualaspectofstylecancauseconfusion,frustrationandeveninsultSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

UnitedStates:“Howareyou?”“Fine.Howareyou?”“Well,myback’sbeenbad…”Philippines“Whereareyougoing?”“Nowhere.I’mstandingheretalkingtoyou.”France“Bonjour”“Hey,how’reyadoin?”StyleClash:Examples28*第二十八页,共一百一十四页。

ListenersreceivebestwhentransmissionmatchestheirstyleYourcanincreaseeffectivenessbygainingunderstandingaboutyourlistener’sstyleexpandingpersonalstyletomatchlistener’sstyleadaptingtoaudiencemorerealisticthanexpectingthemtoadapttoyouExpandingyourstyletomatchthatofyourlistener(s)

willimproveyourcommunicationSource:DISCWorkStyleProfiles,(needrestofreference)*******IncreasingYourEffectiveness29*第二十九页,共一百一十四页。

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda30*第三十页,共一百一十四页。Source:DuPraw;MarcellEandAxner;Marya“WorkingonCommonCross-CulturalCommunicationChallenges;TopsfieldFoundation,1997;Tannen;Deborah;“TalkingFrom9to5”;AvonBooks,1994

YourcommunicationstylecanimpactperceptionofyourcompetenceSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:SueisrudeandarrogantWhenstylesmatch,

perceptionoflistenerispositiveWhenstylesclash,perceptionoflistenerisoftennegativeCommunicationandPerception31*第三十一页,共一百一十四页。SamesituationfromanotherperspectivehassameresultSuefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:SueiscollaborativeClash:SueisinsecureSource:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994CommunicationandPerception32*第三十二页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994PerceptionbecomesthebasisforfutureactionSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:Sueisrudeandarrogant“Suehasrealleadershippotential”“I’mnotsureSue’sgotwhatittakestoleadthisteam”CommunicationandPerception33*第三十三页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994Suefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:SueiscollaborativeClash:Sueisinsecure“Suehasrealleadershippotential”“I’mnotsureSue’sgotwhatittakestoleadthisteam”CommunicationandPerception34*第三十四页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994YourcommunicationoftenrepresentsyourworkjudgmentsaboutworkofteninferredfromhowitispresentedmuchofthatpresentationisintheformoftalkWhenstyledoesn’tmatchnorms,work(insteadofstyle)maybejudgedinadequateMissedsignalshavepowerfulimpact:reducedpersonalsatisfactionreducedopportunitiestoexcelskewedperformanceassessmentIntheworkplace,yourcommunicationstyleimpactsperceptionofyourcompetenceImplicationsatWork35*第三十五页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994YourcommunicationstylecanimpactperceptionofyourcompetenceSuespeaksoutinmeetings,statingherideasforcefully,andchallengingothersMatch:SueisconfidentClash:Sueisrudeandarrogant“Sueshouldbepromoted””“Let’swaitandconsiderherfornextyear”ImplicationsintheWorkplace:Example36*第三十六页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen;Deborah;“Talking9to5”;AvonBooks,1994Suefocusesherparticipationinmeetingsonsupportingothers’ideasandaskingquestionsMatch:Sueiscollaborative,hasleadershippotentialClash:Sueisinsecure,can’tleadteam“Sueistheonetohandlethisnewproject”‘Sue’snotreadytotakeonthislevelofresponsibility”ImplicationsintheWorkplace:Example37*第三十七页,共一百一十四页。

CanYouUseThisModule?HowCommunicationWorksCommunicationandPerceptionStylesintheWorkplaceCommunicatingatBainUnderstandingYourIndividualStyleManagingCommunicationatBainAgenda38*第三十八页,共一百一十四页。

Everycommunityhasacommunicationnormthe“waythingsaredone”manystylesmaybepresentingroupdominantstylebecomesgroupnormWorkplaces,likeothercommunities,havecommunicationnormsdominantstyledependsonstyleofleaderstypeofindustryregionallocationsizeoforganizationclientneedsworkprocessesSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994DominantcommunicationstylewithinagroupisitsnormCommunicationStylesintheWorkplace39*第三十九页,共一百一十四页。

Generallytwocommunicationstylesinanorganizationhierarchy:organizesrelationshipsintermsofstatusequality:organizesrelationshipsintermsofconnectionDominantstylewillbecomeorganization’snormTherearegenerallytwoprimarystylesintheworkplace.Theyareorganizedbyafocusonhierarchyorequality.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994

CommunicationStylesintheWorkplace40*第四十页,共一百一十四页。

Bothsystemsorganizeinteractionsandrelationships--theyjustdoitdifferently.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990,Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994

HierarchyObjectiveDescriptionProcessEqualityMaintainequalstatusingroupEachgroupmemberstrivestominimizedifferencesbymaintainingappearanceofequalstatusMembersavoidtakingcenterstage,deflectorshareattentioniftheygetit,avoidchallengesMaintainrankedstatusingroupEachgroupmemberstrivestobeoneupbyputtingothersdownIndividualsjockeyforcenterstage,challengethosewhogetit,leaderdeflectschallenge

CharacteristicsofHierarchyandEquality41*第四十一页,共一百一十四页。

Theworldisseenverydifferentlyineachsystem.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

Hierarchy/Equality(ViewsoftheWorld)42*第四十二页,共一百一十四页。Processofinteractionisalsoseenverydifferentlybythetwosystems.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

Hierarchy/EqualityInteraction43*第四十三页,共一百一十四页。

ThefunctionofbothsystemsistoorganizerelationshipsintermsofbothstatusandconnectionTheirprimaryfocusisdifferentThetwosystemsdifferintheirfocus,nottheirfunction.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

FunctionandFocusofWorkplaceStyles44*第四十四页,共一百一十四页。

Eachstyletendstobebiasedtowardownnorm,hasanegativeviewoftheother,andmisseselementsthatdon’tfittheirperceptionofthemselves.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990Styles’ViewofEachOther45*第四十五页,共一百一十四页。Historically,workplacewasprimarilymalementendtocommunicateinhierarchicalstyleworkplacereflectsinfluencemanyorganizationshavehierarchicalnormWomen’spresenceintroducednewstylewomentendtocommunicateinegalitarianstyleorganizationsadoptnewstyletothedegreeit:reflectsstyleofleadersisrepresentedinorganizationsupportsworkpracticesmayusestylesituationallyifnotusedasnormCommunicationsintheworkplacereflectthegenerallydifferentstylesofmenandwomen.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

TheImpactofGender46*第四十六页,共一百一十四页。Eachofusbelievesdeeply:ournormisthebestwaytocommunicatemakesthemostsense,hasthemostvalueeveryoneshouldcommunicatethewaywedoiftheydon’t,theyshouldchangeThisbiasreduceseffectivenessinanormthatdoesn’tmatchourstyleWeholdstrongbiasesaboutthegroupnormwesubscribeto...Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990UnderstandingGroupNorms47*第四十七页,共一百一十四页。Wheneveryoujoinanestablishedcommunity,individualstylemayormaynotmatchgroupnormIfitdoesn’t,mayclashwithsomeormanystylisticbehaviorscanbeveryfrustratingclashesmayfeelpersonalremember:clashesresultfromstylisticdifferencesIfyourstyleclasheswithorganization’snorm:getsmartaboutoperatingeffectivelywithinitlookatnewgroupasnewaudiencefocusonlearninghowaudiencefunctionsWhenyoujoinagroup,yourindividualstylemayormaynotmatchthenorm.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994

JoiningaNewGroup48*第四十八页,共一百一十四页。ObserveittounderstanditcomparewhattheydotowhatyoudolookforcongruenciesinyourvaluesandtheirsbothvaluedeliveringanexcellentproductprocessfordoingsoisdifferentunderstandhowtheirprocessservesthecultureKeytounderstandinganothergroup’snormisobjectivitystrategicallyassessnewculturewhatittakestobeheardwhatittakestohaveworkrecognizedwhatittakestoexcelEverystyleislogicalandvaluabletotheindividualororganizationthatholdsitSource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

UnderstandingOther’sGroupNorms49*第四十九页,共一百一十四页。Eachstylehasa“wayofdoingthings.”Stylecharacteristicsaresummarizedhere,andexplainedindetailinthenextsection.Source:Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990StyleinAction:ASummary50*第五十页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

Scenario1Scenario2MariolooksforanopportunitytospeakinmeetingsOthersspeakwithoutstopping,orinterrupteachotherquicklyHeleavesthemeetingwithoutsayinganythingAsSimonespeaks,shepausesbrieflyexpectsotherstojumpinandchallengeideasWhennoonedoes,shecontinuestoelaborateonherideaStyleinAction-ParticipationinMeetings51*第五十一页,共一百一十四页。BothMarioandSimoneareusingpausestosignalwhentostartandendtheirparticipationMarioislookingforalongpauseasawayinSimone‘sbriefpausesareinvitationsforotherstojoinherNeitherareoperatinginanormthatmatchestheirstyleMario’sgroupusepausestooshortforhimtorecognizeMariofeelshecan’tgetawordinedgewisehisgroupthinkshedoesn’thaveanythingtocontributeSimone’sgroupneedslongerpausesthansheprovidesSimonefeelslikesheisalwayscarryingtheballhergroupthinkssheisself-absorbedKeytakeawaySource:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

AnalyzingStyle-ParticipatinginMeetings52*第五十二页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

StylisticNorms-ParticipatinginMeetingsHierarchyEqualityStyleAssumptionStatusAssumptionMeetingsareachancetograbthespotlightAssertStatusBy:SpeakingAssertivelyHoldingthefloorChallengingothers’ideasInterruptingMeetingsareaplacetoconnectaroundsharedconcernsMaintainequalstatusby:Speakingonlywheninvitedfollowinglongpausefollowingliteralinvitation:“Whatdoyouthink?”53*第五十三页,共一百一十四页。Duringtraining,ahospitalresidentaskedquestionsaboutpatientsandtheirillnessesmethodsofprovidingcareAtendofterm,residentreceivedapoorevaluationSupervisor’sexplanationwasresidentknewlessthanothersingroupevidence:“Youaskedmorequestions”Source:Tannen,Deborah,“TalkingFrom9to5”,AvonBooks,1994;Tannen,Deborah,“YouJustDon’tUnderstand”,BallantineBooks,NewYork,1990

StyleinAction-AskingQuestions54*第五十四页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995ResidentandSupervisorhelddifferentexpectationsofquestionsresident:questionsindicatedcompetencehadtohaveknowledgetoknowwhattoaskaskingquestionsresultedinbettercareforpatientssupervisorquestionsindicatedignoranceyouonlyaskwhatyoudon’tknowthemorequestions,themoreignorancestyleperceptionoutweighedotherevidenceofcompetenceAnalysisofStyle-AskingQuestions55*第五十五页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995StylisticNorms-AskingQuestions56*第五十六页,共一百一十四页。Apologiesareusedtoacceptblameandtodemonstrateconcern.Theyareanimportantelementofnegotiatingstatusinrelationship.Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995Scenario1TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“Iacceptyourapology”Scenario2TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“It’sokay.Thedeadlinewastight.”Scenario3TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“Thisjustdidn’tturnoutwellatall”Hisbosssays:“I’msorry.Iknowyou’veworkedhardonthis.”StyleinAction-Apologizing57*第五十七页,共一百一十四页。Source:Tannen,Deborah,“ThePowerofTalk:WhoGetsHeardandWhy”,HarvardBusinessReview,September-October,1995

Scenario1TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“Iacceptyourapology”Scenario2TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“I’msorrythereportislate”Hisbosssays:“It’sokay.Thedeadlinewastight.”Scenario3TylerdelivershisreportlateHesays:“Thisjustdidn’tturnoutwellatall”Hisbosssays:“I’msorry.Iknowyou’veworkedhardonthis.”ResponseassignsblametoapologizerPutsapologizerinone-downpositionResponsesharesblameMovesapologizeroutofone-downpositionRestoresbalancetorelationshipResponseexpressesconcernneithersharesorassignsblameshiftsfocusfromnegativetopositiveRestoresbalancetorelationshipAnalyzingStyle-Apologizing(1of2)58*第五十八页,共一百一十四页。Mostobviousmisinterpretationisbetweenacceptingblameanddemonstratingconcernfrequentapologizingmaybeheardliterallyevenifmeanttoexpressconcernmaybeseenweaker,incompetent,blameworthyAvoidingapologyalsocanbemisinterpretedgenerallyintendedasawaytosavefacecanbetakenasunwilli

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