读后续写七美元的梦想 人与社会 传递友善-高考英语作文备考

SummarizethestoryinyourownwordsAnadvertisementremindedmeofmypast:Iusedtodreamabouthavingaviolinofmyown,whichseemedimpossibleduringtheGreatDepressionwhenmyfamilystruggledtoearn

aliving.MyfatherturnedtoMr.Finkle,fromwhomIgotaviolinwhichonlycost7dollars.Judgingfromthetwosentences,whatmustbecoveredineachparagraph?Para.1InoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!____________________________________WhathappenedafterIfinallygottheviolin?realizedmydreamJudgingfromthetwosentences,whatessentialsmustbecoveredineachparagraph?Para2.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.____________________________________WhathappenedafterIreadtheadvertisementagain?passedthelove/dreamonWorkouttheoutlineParagraph1.实现梦想WhathappenedafterIfinallygottheviolin?Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.Paragraph2.传递梦想WhathappenedafterIreadtheadvertisementagain?Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.Adddetails--findechoingdetailsinthestory!Whatdescriptionscanbeusedtoecho

thetheme?(Para.1)Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.Someday,I’llsitupthere.(Para.2)Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.“Ifounditinapawnshopforsevendollars.It’sagoodviolin.MaryLoushouldbeabletomakeabeautifulmusicwithit.”Adddetails--toshow,nottotell!(Para.1)Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.(Para.2)Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.Whatweremyfeelings?Howtoshowtheemotions?Adddetails--transitionalsentencesInoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!____________A.Withmyhandstrembling,Itookovertheviolinandheldittightly.B.Iwasfrozenonthespotandcouldn’tbelievewhathadhappened.C.Filledwithexcitement,IhuggedDaddyandsaid,“Thankyou,Daddy!”D.Iwasseizedbyawaveofhappinessandexcitement.______________________________________Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.

A.Thoughsomanyyearshadpassed,the7-dollarviolinwasstillpreservedcarefullyinmycloset.B.Ikeptpracticingwiththat7-dollarviolinandsuccessfullymadeabeautifulmusicwithit.C.Itsuddenlyoccurredtomethatthe7-dollarviolinwasjustawhitelie.D.Thatdayremainsthemostpreciousmemoryinmymind.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.________________________A.Iguessitmustbewrittenbysomeonewhoisalsoinapooreconomiccondition.B.Withouthesitation,Icontactedtheadvertiser,offeringaviolinforonlysevendollars.C.Itwasn’teasytofindtheboy’shome.D.Iclosedmyeyesandpicturedachilddreamingaboutaviolin,whosefamily,however,isalsoinpoorcondition.LastsentenceA.Nevergiveupyourdreamandalwaysgiveahelpinghandtothosewhoareontheirwaytotheirdreams.B.Irecognizedthesmilingfacewhichwaslitupwithhappiness,justlikemineinthatfine,oldhouse.C.SoIfinallydecidedthatIwouldsellitat7dollars,theexactpriceithadusedtobe.D.Althoughtheviolinwassoldat7dollars,dreamispriceless.E.“Sevendollars.”Iputdownthephonewithabroadsmile,knowingthatthe7-dollarsdreamwouldbepassedon.Feedback1.主题方向和情节设置大部分同学都能踩对，即“把爱传下去”，必须提到我赠琴给他人的情节，否则不及格2.细节描写必须对主题的完成有价值，部分同学在一些不重要的细节上花费过多笔墨，如“疑惑小提琴到底值不值7美元”，“拉琴的细节”、“7美元对我的家庭来说是不是一大笔钱”、“我找了一把什么样的小提琴送给孩子”

“我在送出琴之前激烈的心理斗争”等，都属于偏题与文章主题无关的细节都可以不用深究InoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!

“It’sbeautiful.”Isaid,barelybreathing.Iknew

Daddy’s

prayer,andmine,hadbeenanswered.Backhome,Ipracticeddaily,feelingnotiredness.WhenIwasreadytojointheschool

orchestra,Itrembledwithexcitement.DaddyandMothersmiledproudlyintheaudienceattheirlittlegirlwhoheldhercherished

violin

forthewholeworldtoadmire.Finally,myhardworkpaidoffandIbecamethefirstchairviolin.Thosepreciousyearsseemedtorunmoreswiftlythen.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.Layingthepaperaside,Iwenttofindmyviolin.AndIdialedthenumber.Laterthatafternoon,amaninhisthirtieswithayounggirlknockedonthedoor.“I’vebeenprayingsomeonewouldanswermy

advertisement.Mydaughterwantsaviolinsobadly.”Hesaid,“Howmuchareyouasking?”“Sevendollars,”Ihandedthecasetothegirl,sayin