【省级公开课】高中英语读后续写课件

读后续写讲评

（教育部考试中心，2015）提供一段350词以内的语言材料，要求考生依据该材料内容、所给段落开头语和所标示关键词进行续写（150词左右），将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接，情节和结构完整的短文。考查的主要内容包括以下四点：（1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度；（2）内容的丰富性；（3）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性；（4）上下文的连贯性写续读后阅读能力考查能力*能理解原文内容*能准确理解原文的篇章结构和关键信息*能深入理解原文的内容要素、内容发展、逻辑关系、语言特点等。写作能力*内容产出：能在原文的基础上创造新的内容；能与原文内容保持融洽，形成有效协同。*语言运用：能够用丰富的词汇和句子结构并且使用准确，恰当；与原文的词汇和句子结构甚至语言风格协同（较高要求）*篇章结构：能与原文合理衔接；能使用恰当的连接手段是续写完整、连贯。思维能力能在根据原文进行续写时体现出创造性。学习能力能通过读后续写学习原文作者的语言特点和写作方式。3时空线；故事情节线；情感发展线语体风格；文体风格表现风格读后续写评分原则解读01020304本题总分为25分，按七个档次进行评分阅卷评分时，应主要从内容、语言表达和篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：（1）创造内容的质量，续写的完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。（2）使用词汇和语法结构的准确性，恰当性和多样性。（3）上下句的衔接性和上下文的连贯性。评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。评分时还应注意（1）所续写短文的词数应为150左右（词数不少于120）；（2）续写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写和词汇用法均可。(3）如书写较差以致影响交际，可将分数降低一个档次。内涵身材颜值档次描述第七档（22-25分）漂漂亮亮无大语法错误，可以有2-3处拼写或者词形错误

—创造了丰富、合理的内容，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高。—使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达流畅语言错误很少，且完全不影响理解。—自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯。第六档（18-21分）清清楚楚2-3处大语法错误—创造了比较丰富、合理的内容，比较有逻辑性，续写比较完整，与原文情境融洽度较高。—使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达比较流畅，有个别错误但不影响理解。—比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯。第五档（15-17分）平平淡淡1/3的语言错误

—创造了基本合理的内容，有一定的逻辑性，续写基本完整，与原文情境相关。—使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达方式不够多样性，表达有些许错误，但基本不影响理解。—使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义基本连贯。第四档（11-14分）马马虎虎一半的语言错误—创造了基本完整的故事内容，但情节不够合理或逻辑性不强，与原文情境基本相关。—使用了简单的词汇和语法结构，有部分语言错误或不恰当之处。个别部分影响理解。—尚有语句衔接手段，全文结构基本清晰，意义基本连贯。第三档（6-10分）糊里糊涂2/3的语言错误

—内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题，续写不够完整，与原文有一定程度脱节。—所用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，错误较多且比较低级，影响理解。—未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段，全文结构不够清晰，意义欠连贯。第二档（1-5分）艰艰难难—内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题或有部分内容抄自原文，续写不完整与原文情境节本脱节。—所使用的词汇非常有限，语法结构单调，错误较多，严重影响理解。—几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段，全文结构不清晰，意义不连贯。第一档（0分）干干净净未作答；所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判，所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。内容、语言表达和篇章结构TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.

Astheeconomywasindecline,somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy-hisnamewasBernard-hadinterestedherverymuch.“Iwishyoucouldseehim,”shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdon'tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney,”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”“SodoI,”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihaveagreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassuretobeagoodone.I’lltellyouwhatwecando,”saidJohn.“YouknowthatbigboxofcomUncleJohnsentus?Well,wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花),andputitintopaperbags,andBernardcantakeitaroundtothehousesandsellit.”——2020山东高考读后续写setting(when,where)Theme(mainidea+writingpurpose)

characters(who)

plot（what,how,why)Whatmakesastory?Whatmakesagreatstory?vivid&properdescriptionsStoryelements7Readforthetheme.（确定主题）

Readfortheplot.（定位线索）Outlinethepossibleplotsoreventsineachparagraph.（构思续写情节，搭建结构支架）Writingbasedontheoutlineandusingsentencepatterns.（运用用句型模板，落笔成文）StepsforcontinuationwritingStep1Step2Step3Step48whowherewhenHowwhywhatbeginningMrs.Meredith&3childern(John,Harry,Clare)UncleJohnBernardWhentheeconomywasindeclineHelpBernard

thefamilysufferedsomuchasmallcommunityStep1Readforthetheme(mainidea+writingpurpose)ending9

Whentheeconomywasindecline,Mrs.Meredithandher3childrenhelpedlittleBernardwhowantedtohelphisparentsmakeendsmeetbysellingpopcorn.

mainidea

Toshowreaders:Thereisloveandkindnessinthesmallcommunity.writingpurposeTheme

Tip1:Mainideacoversthefollowingelements:who,when,where,what,whyandhow.Tip2:Writingpurposereferstowhattheauthorwantstoconveythroughthepassage.Tip3:Thecontentofcontinuationwritingmustbeconsistentwiththegivenstory'smainideaandwritingpurpose.10beginningClimaxendingPa1:BackgroundPa2:Mrs.Meredith'characterPa3&4:aboyinneed;amotherwantedtohelpPa5-8:ChildrenwantedtohelpDiscusshowtohelpContinuationPa1:ContinuationPa2:Tip4:Predicttheendingbasedontheplotandthetheme.(reasonabe)11Para1WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para2

Witheverythingready.Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1.所续写的短文词数应为150左右;2.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;Step3:Outlinethepossibleplotsoreventsineachparagraph.soldout&earnedmoneymadecontactwithBernard.Heagreedwiththeidea.theprocessofsellingpopcornmadepreparationsforpopcorn.BernardpreparedthepopcornTip5:Predicttheendingofpara.1basedonthetwogivensentences.12灵动、恰当的v./adj./adv.“with”的复合结构非谓语；定从；强调，倒装情感描写的表达Step4:Writingbasedontheoutlineandusingsentencepatterns.13Tip6:LanguagedatabasefordescribingfeelingsHispalmsweresweating;withaheavy/sinkingheart;His

throattightenedwithtension;Tearswelledupinhiseyes/blurredhiseyes.Hisfaceturnedredwithshyness.Hisfacelitup;lipscurvingintoasmile;Hiseyestwinkledwithjoy;Heopenedarmswithabroadsmile.

postivefeelings

negativefeelings

14

WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea，shethoughtitwasagoodone，too.

Delightedandexcited，theytookactionstofindthebigboxofcorn.Withthebigboxandthreechildren，Mrs.MeredithdrovetoBernardfamily.NosoonerhadtheyseenBernardthanJohncouldn'twaittosaytheidea.Tearsrollingdownhisface.Bernardfailedtoutteranywordstoconveyhisheartfeltthanks.Thentheymadeevery

endeavor

tomakepopcornwiththejointefforts.Therewasenoughpopcorntosell.What’smore，Mrs.Meredithpreparedbagstocarrypopcorn.

Witheverythingready，Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.

Bernardtookitaroundtothehousesandexpectedtosellmorepopcorntoearnmoremoney.Tiredashewas，Bernardwasexceedinglydelightedtoearnsomemoneyandhelphismother.Mrs.MeredithalsoboughtpopcorntosupportBernard.

Asenseofachievementcominginwaves.threechildrentookdelightinhelpingothersmeetthechallenges.WealwayshaveopportunitiestobecomeablessingforothersandweshoulddoourbesttohelpeachotherjustliketheMeredithfamily.Version1*关键点衔接*语法结构和词汇的丰富性：1.形容词做状语2.独立主格3.不定式作定语4.as在虚拟语气中的倒装WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea，shethoughtitwasagoodone，too.

Thenextday,theystartedtomakepopcornwiththebigboxofcornUncleJohnsentthem.Theyputthedeliciouspopcornintopaperbags,whichwereornamentedwithcolorfulribbons.Then,theypaidavisittoBernard’shomewiththeirspecialgifts.JohnsgreatideadelightedBernardbeyondmeasure,forhenowcouldearnsomemoneyonhisowntosupporthisfamily.Hecouldn'thelpsheddingtearsofexcitementandgavetheMeredithfamilyabigembrace,expressinghisheartfeltgratitude.Witheverythingready，Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.Hewaved.peddled,tookthepopcornaroundthehousesandsoldit.Betterstill,thesmartJohnputforwardanexcellentideathattheyshouldsetupastand,whichcouldattractmorecustomers.Thoughmanyofthepeoplelivinginthecommunitywereimpoverished,theystillboughtsomepopcorntohelpBernard.ItwasBernard’spureloveforhisparentsandotherpeople'skindnessthatassistedBernard’sfamilyactually.Itisinevitabletoencounterhardship,butloveiswhatsupportslifeforever.Version2：

*关键点衔接*语法结构和词汇的丰富性1.非限制性定语从句2.原因状语从句3.现在分词做伴随状语4.同位语从句5让步状语从句6现在分词作定语7强调句8表语从句基于“评分原则”之外的美好1IIIIIIV高级句型（非谓语，三大从句，强调，倒装等）和高级词汇是博人眼球的高光点；续写结尾有升华主题的句子为好，该句子不一定是名言警句；续写部分与原文写作风格一致，句式相同的语料。比如本文故事是按照时间顺序来发展的。所以续写部分有时间状语从句或表明时间的状语最好。回扣文中线索的是加分项。原文最后一句“Bernardcantakeita