商务谈判第二单元

Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation1、谈判的泛化理解（思维定式）：（1）谈判无处不在现实生活是巨大谈判桌，你必须参与谈判。可以交涉谈判任何事。若想获得对方承诺，必须采用自己的方式进行多方面交涉。人在成长、成熟、成功的过程中都要进行交涉，交涉=谈判。

1.Extensiveunderstandingofnegotiation(fixedthinkingpattern)(1)NegotiationiseverywhereYouhavetonegotiateinthereallife,youcannegotiateforanything,ifyouwantgetothers’promise,youhavetodooverallnegotiationviayourway.Negotiationisinvolvedinpeople’slife,bargaining=negotiation.

Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation（2）谈判的人性理解三字经：”人之初、性本善；习相近、性相远。“俗语：”近朱者赤、近墨者黑“金庸笔下，《射雕英雄传》中江南七怪、黄老邪等江湖人物，《碧血剑》中的金蛇郎君都是亦正亦邪的人物。对人的理解：人是一种可上可下的”居间性“动物，向上是有限的，而向下堕落是无限的。(2)HumanityunderstandingofnegotiationThreeCharacterPrimer:menattheirbirth,arenaturallygood,theirnaturesaremuchthesame,theirhabitsbecomewidelydifferentFolksays:onewhostaysnearvermiliongetsstainedred,andonewhostaysnearinkgetsstainedblack.understandingabouthuman:humansometimesisinamediacystatus,thereisalimitationforhumantobebetter,butcanbackslideinfinitelyThinkinginbusinessnegotiation正因为人性的两面性，要求我们对人的认识，必须从其可堕落性出发，要防堵和疏导相结合；而谈判就是一场真真假假的游戏。谈判过程是展示人性更是塑造人性的过程；而人们之间的交涉，互动过程导致了人性的生成。谈判输赢不是决定一个人成功、失败的唯一要素；但对于人一生中一些重要谈判，要树立这样的理念：对方可以赢，但我不能输。”冲突是不可避免的，但学会把挫折感放到背后，所谓“一笑泯恩仇”----《笑傲江湖》主题歌“沧海一声笑”所描述：“苍天笑、纷纷世上潮谁负谁胜出天知晓江山笑、烟雨遥涛浪淘尽红尘俗事知多少清风笑竟惹寂寥豪情还剩一襟晚照Becauseofthetwo-sideofhumanity,wearerequiredtorecognizepeoplefromtheircorruptibility.Negotiationisagamethatmixedtruthandfalsehood.Theprocessofnegotiationrevealhumanityorevenistheprocessofbuildhumanity;andthebargainingamongpeopleleadtothecreatureofhumanity.Winningandlossofanegotiationisdefinitelynottheonlyfactorcontributetoaperson’ssuccess;buttosomeimportantnegotiationinpeople’slives,thisconceptshouldbesetup:theotherpartycanwin,butIcannotlose.

商务谈判中的思维(3)谈判的理性理解哈佛原则谈判法:(A)把人与问题分开-----当对方看法不正确时,应寻求机会让其纠正;------当对方情绪激动时,应给予理解;-------当对方发生误解时,应加强双方的沟通;(3)rationalunderstandingofnegotiationHarvardPrincipeinnegotiation(A)separatepeopleandproblem---giveothersthechancetocorrectwhentheyhavewrongopinions.----giveotherstheunderstandingwhentheyarerage.----enhancenegotiationwhenothershavemisunderstandingaboutyou.商务谈判中的思维在思想上把自己和对方看作同舟共济的伙伴,将谈判看作携手共进的过程。在方法上将对方当作“人”看待，了解其想法、感受、需求并给予其应有的尊重，将问题按其价值来处理。（B）重利益而不重立场谈判最基本问题不是在立场上的冲突，而是双方需求、欲望、关注的利益方面的冲突。任何利益一般都有多种可以满足的方式；对立的背后，存在着共同利益和冲突性利益，共同利益大于冲突利益，调和的是利益而非立场。Treattheotherpartyasthepartnerinthesameconditionhelpeachother,treatnegotiationasaprocessofmakingprogresstogether.Treattheotherpartyas“human”,toknowtheirthoughts,feelings,needsandgivethemenoughrespect,anddealwithproblemsaccordingtotheirvalues,(B)focusonprofitnotstandpointThebasicprobleminnegotiationisnottheconflictinstandpoint,buttheconflictintwopartiesneeds,desireandprofitAnyprofitcanbesatisfiedbydifferentways;therearemutualprofitandconflictiveprofitbehindthenegotiation,andmutualprofitisalwaysmoreimportantthanconflictiveprofit,sotwopartiesshouldconciliatetheprofitratherthanthestandpoint.商务谈判中的思维（C）先构思各种选择方案再提主张可选择性是其必要条件-----方案只构思不判断；方案答案的多种多重性；方案考虑共有的利益；方案容易使对方作出决定。（D）坚持使用客观标准客观指不受情绪影响，独立于各方主观意志以外；应关注价值，而非双方的耐力。将双方立场、观点、意志力的较量转换为双方共同解决问题之努力。衡量标准：不损害双方各自根本利益为原则；公平的判定；(C)thinkaboutplanfirst,thenbringforwardideasSelectiveisnecessary----onlythinkabouttheplanbutdonotmakejudgment;answersofaplancanbeseveral;makeconsiderationofmutualprofitintheplan;theotherpartycaneasilymakedecisionsaccordingtotheplan(D)insistobjectivestandardsImpersonalitymeansnotcontrolledbyemotionandindependentfromanysubjectiveideas;shouldfocusonvalueratherthanresistance.Twopartiesshouldmakeeffortstosolveproblemtogetherratherthanarguingofeachother’sstandpoint,ideaandwillpowerMeasuringstandards:donothurteachother’sownprofitfairjudgment商务谈判中的思维（E）科学性与艺术性相结合谈判学与其说是一门科学，更是一门艺术；它来源于实践，是人们社会交往过程中交涉本领的提炼；它在运用过程需要高超的技巧和灵活的思维；同时需遵循其内在的发展规律。谈判实质：（A）追求双赢（B）既有合作又有冲突（C）结果是“互惠而非均等”(E)combinescienceandartistryNegotiationisnotonlyasciencebutalsoanart;itisfrompractice,anditistheabstractionofpeople’ssocialactivities;itneedsperfectskillsandsmartthoughts;italsohavetoobeyitsowndevelopmentrules.Essentialofnegotiation:(a)pursuingwin-winsituation(b)cooperationandconflictexisttogether(c)resultshouldbe“mutualbenefitratherthanequal”Thinkinginbusinessnegotiation（4）谈判的基本心智A共同性利益和可以互补的分歧性利益，都能成为产生明智协议的诱因；B谈判是合作的利己主义，在追求共同利益中才能追求到一己利益。C善于妥协是谈判智慧的所在。（5）谈判的策略标准有助于达成明智协议；有助于提供较高的谈判效率；有助于发展或维系各方的友好关系。(4)basicwisdomofnegotiationA.mutualprofitandconflictiveprofitthataremutuallycomplementary,canbetheinducementofsettingupadvisableagreementB.negotiationistheself-interestincooperation,onecanonlygetself-interestduringpursuingmutualprofitC.goodatmakingcompromiseisthewisdomofnegotiation.(5)strategicstandardofnegotiationHelptoreachadvisableagreementHelptoprovidehighefficiencyHelptodevelopormaintainfriendlyrelationshipChapter2ProperBehaviorsinInternationalBusinessNegotiationsAssumptions\listening\talking\inquiring\observingChapter2ProperBehaviorsinInternationalBusinessNegotiations第二章国际商务谈判中的正确行为举止Assumptions假定Listening听Talking说Inquiring问Observing观察IntroductionThischaptertellsyouhowtobehaveproperlyduring

negotiation.Onealwaysmakesassumptionsbeforenegotiationandtriestoguessothers’assumptions.Butassumptionsmaybetrueorfalse,inwhichcasetheyneedtobeverified.Inordertoverifytheassumptions,youshouldgatherenoughinformationfromothers,sothatlistening,talking,inquiring,andobservingbecomeveryimportantforasuccessfulnegotiation.Thefollowingsectionsdiscusshowtobeanactivelistener,howtotalkineffectivenegotiatinglanguage,howtoaskandanswerquestions,howtofindvaluableinformationfromyouropponents’bodylanguageandhowtogetridofyourinappropriatebodylanguage.2.1Assumptions2.1.1Theconceptsofassumptions

Assumptionsareavitalpartofnegotiations.Inenteringanegotiation,amanisseverelyhandicappedunlesshereviewshisownassumptions---andanticipatestheassumptionsoftheotherparty.Thenegotiatormustneverforgetthatwhathisorherassumptionsareonlyaguessoraprobability.Itisnecessaryforustoreexamineoursupercargoofassumptions.Somearewrongandmustbediscarded.Othersneedtobemodified.Stillothersremainvalid.2.1.2ThetypesofhiddenassumptionsMakingthreecategoriesofhiddenassumptioncanproveusefulinnegotiation:Thefirstcategoryincludestheassumptionswemakeabouttheextensionalworld,thephysicalworldwhichexistsoutsidethemindofahumanbeing.Secondly,itincludesourintensionalworld.Forexample,theworldwhichexistswithinthemindofeachofus.Thirdly,italsoinvolvestheotherperson’sintensionalworld.Sometimeswegosofarastomakeassumptionsaboutwhatapersonisgoingtosaybeforehehashadachancetosayit.Weinterrupt,presentourversionofwhatheisabouttosay,andnevergiveourselvestheopportunityofhearingwhathemighthavesaid.Thuswedepriveourselvesofvaluableinformation.SUMMARYAssumption:Fixedthinkinginournegotiation,orsomethoughtstorage,certainhypothesistoaobject,orforecasttoabehavior,ordifferentphilosophyoflife.Example1:apersonthoughttobeagentlemanbecauseheiswell-dressedandtalkingoodtaste;butsomeonewouldthinkheispretendtobeasoft-spokenman.Example2:somepeoplemaybuyanewcarbecauseofitsstyle;butothersmaythinkthecapabilityofanewcarisnotthatreliableandrefusetobuyit.2.2ListeningAsidefromaskingquestionsandmakingstatements,onemustalsorecognizetheneedsoftheopposer.Onemethodislisteningcarefullytothewordsutteredbytheopposer.Payingattentiontophrasing,choiceofexpressions,mannerismsofspeech,andtoneofvoicebeingused.Alltheseelementsgivecluestotheneedsbehindthestatementsanopposermakes.ThebarrieroflisteningThebarrieroflisteningStudiesshowthattheaveragepersonremembersonlyabouthalfofwhatheorshehearsimmediatelyafterthespeakerstopstalking,nomatterhowcarefullythelistenerhaspaidattention.ThebarrieroflisteningsimplerulesatthesametimethatwillactuallyhelpyoumaximizethebenefityougetfromwhattheotherpersonissayingThebarrieroflisteningFirstofall,ifyoufindthesubjectdullandwouldnormallygooffonamentaltangent,recognizethatyouaretrappedintolisteninganywayandforceyourselftotuneinforanynewknowledgethatyoucanperhapssiftout.Ontheotherhand,thesubjectmaynotbeboring,butratherdifficultandhardtocomprehend,perhapsbecauseitistootechnicalordetailed.Donotallowyourmindtowanderonlybecausedistractionsaremorefunthanthetopicunderdiscussion.Trytodevelopaninterestandgraspthemeaningofthebroadthingsbeingsaid.ThebarrieroflisteningSecond,wetendtodismissstatementsiftheycomefrompeopleweconsiderunimportant.Withholdjudgmentuntilyourcomprehensionofthespeaker’sproposaliscomplete.Thegoodlistenerwillhearouttheotherpersonbeforepassingjudgmentandframingrebuttals.ThebarrieroflisteningThird,donotturnyourselfoffsimplybecausethespeaker’sdeliveryispoororunintelligible.Thespeakermaystillknowalotmoreaboutthesubjectthanitappears.Makeeveryefforttounderstandwhatisbeingsaid.Ifnecessary,interruptandaskthespeakertorepeatsomething.Thispersonwillappreciateyourinterestinnotwantingtomissanything.ThebarrieroflisteningOneoftheproblemseverylistenerhasistheabilitytothinkattherateofabout400wordsaminute---almostfourtimesfasterthantheaveragespeakertalks.Donotletyourminddrift.Instead,anticipatethespeaker’snextpointandgivethoughttowhatyouhearwhilewaitingforthenextidea.ThebarrieroflisteningWhentakingnotes,getdowntheconceptsandprinciples.Ifyouhavetime,writedownthefacts,butdonotletthemoverwhelmyoutothedegreethatyouaremissingimportantpoints.Notonlydoesnote-takingforceyoutolistencarefully,butitalsopsychologicallythrowsthespeakeroffthebalancewhenheorsheseesyounoddingandfuriouslywritingawayandhavingarecordofallthefactsandbasicallyeverythingsaid.Afurtherbenefitofnotetakingisthatyouhavetheperfectexcusetoavoideyecontactifyouareafraidtorevealyourreactionstosomeone’sproposals.ActivelisteningInordertobeagoodlistener,youmustbearinmindthatconversationornegotiationbetweenindividualscanproceedatvariouslevelsofmeanings.Aperson’sconversationorstatementhasseverallevelsofmeaning.Forexample,theopposer’sstatementononelevelisthemessagethatheorsheseemstobetryingtocommunicate.Onasecondlevel,itmaybethemessagethatwecaninferfromthewayheorshespeaksandthewordsbeingused.Onathirdlevel,itmayconveyameaningtousbecauseitislinkedwithhisorhermannerofapproachtothesubject.（根据弗罗伊德理论）ActivelisteningListeningisasmuchapersuasivetechniqueasspeaking.Asuccessfullistenermustkeepanopenmindandstrivetobefreefrombias（偏见）andpreconceivednotions.Thereisnoonemorecompetitiveandhostilethannegotiatorswhofeelthattheirbestargumentswereignored,misunderstoodordismissed.2.3TalkingNegotiationlanguageNegotiationsarealmostalwaysconductedonthreebasiclevelsofcommunication:thesubconsciouslevel,theemotionallevelandthelevelofreasonandlogic.Consistentlyhighachievementinnegotiationcanbeobtainedbymasteringallthreelevelsofnegotiationsothatthenegotiator’spositioncanbecommunicatedinamannerthatissimple,attractive,suggestive,enthusiastic,truthful,fair,logicandpersonal.2.3TalkingThemostlogicalandsoundreasoningwillbeoflittlevalueifitisnotcommunicatedinsimpleandpreciseterms.Youshouldsetforthonlythepointsneededtoencouragetheactionyoudesire.Youshouldbeinformativewithregardtosupportingdetailsonlytotheextentnecessarytomakeyourofferclear.Someofthemostcommonandseriouserrorscommittedbynegotiatorsinvolvetheiruseofwordsandtermswithbroadorambiguousmeanings.Donotsaysomethingislargeifyoucangiveexactmeasurements.Sentencesshouldalsobesimple,withthesubjectfirst,theverbnext,andtheobjectlast.Yourpresentationshouldbeexecutedinanattractivemannerthatispleasing,notoffensive.Itshouldbefairandconsidertheprosandcons,notsuspicious.Itshouldbecooperativeandfriendly,notargumentativeorhostile.Itshouldemphasizethepositive,notthenegative,stressthefamiliar,nottheunknown,andbedemocratic,notdictatorial.Yourpresentationshouldbeunderstated,notexaggerated;Itshouldprogressbystartingwitheasyissues,notthefrustrationandstalematepromotedbyhardissues.Itshouldbecomplimentaryandencourageagreement,notoffensiveordemeaning,discouragingcooperation.Itshouldrevealrewardconsequences,notpunishmentorathreateningoutcome,andshouldentertainandbeenthusiastic,keepingtheotherpersongluedtoyourthoughtsHowtoopenandcloseThereareanumberofapproachesyoucanusetoattractimmediateattention:①arousecuriositybyaskingaquestionrelatedtoyourtalk②saysomethinghumorous③startoffwithaninterestingnewsitem④beginwithaspecificillustrationorcase,whichtendstolendanairofseriousnessandrealitytoyourtalk⑤openwiththeimpactofaprofound

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⑥showavisualillustrationofyourmainpoints,whichcanbeeitherachart,pictureoritemrelatedtoyourtalk⑦openwithasimpleexplanationofhowyourtopicaffectsthecommoninterestsofthelisteners⑧startoffwithashockingstatement⑨casuallycommentonsomethingthathasjusthappenedorbeensaidatthemeetingifittiesintoyourpresentationHowtoopenandcloseYourclosingstatementcanbethesameasonewithwhichyouwouldendamemorandum,summarizingandbrieflyoutliningthemainpointsyoucover.Youcanappealforaction.Youcanpaythelistenersasincerecomplimentbymakingreferencetotheirorganization,stateorotheraspectofcommoninterest.Donotthrowoutthestandardcomplimentthatsoundsshallowandinsincere,suchas,“You’vebeenagreataudience.”Youcanalsoleavethemlaughingwhenappropriate.Severalaspectstobewareof

SeveralaspectstobewareofListenersunconsciouslyjudgeyoubyhowyoutalk.Yourspeakingvoiceisoneofthefirstimpressionspeoplehaveofyou,andthatimpressionisoftendominatedbyyourvoicequality.Severalaspectstobewareof

Apersonmaybecharacterizedasfriendlyifhisorhervoicesoundswarmandwellmodulated.Someonemaybethoughtofasdullanduninterestingifthevoicesoundsflatandmonotonous.Someonewhoistooloudmayappearbombastic.Someonewhoistoosoftmaybetaggedastimid.Speakingtoofastmayconveyimpatienceoranger.Speakingtooslowmaycausesomeonetobeviewedashesitantorfearful.2.4Inquiring

Duringnegotiation,therewillundoubtedlybetimeswhenyouneedtohavemoreinformationbeforeyoucanintelligentlyevaluateviewsadvancedbytheotherperson.Theusualwaytogetinformationistoaskaquestion.Questionsarewindowstothemind.Inanappropriatesituationyoushouldoftenaskyouropponent,“Whatdoyouwantfromthisnegotiation?Whatdoyouexpect?Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplish?”Throughsuchstraightforwardprobes,inadditiontootherinformation,Youcansucceedinfindingoutyouropponent’sneeds,whatheisafter,andthenguideyourfuturenegotiationaccordingly.AskingquestionsQuestionsappeartobeabletobedividedintofivebasicfunctions:

①Causeattention.Providepreparatoryconditionsfortheoperationoftheother’sthinking.Example:“Howareyou?”②Getinformation.Providequestionerwithinformation.“Howmuchisit?”③Giveinformation.Providetheotherwithinformation.“Didyouknowyoucouldhandlethis?”④Startthinking.Causetheother’sthinkingtooperate.“Whatwouldyoursuggestionbeonthis?”⑤Bringtoconclusion.Bringtheother’sthinkingtoaconclusion.“Isn’tittimetoact?”Askingquestions

Havingareserveoffunctionalquestionsreadyatanytimewillpermityoutodirectthestreamofconversationinanymanneryouwant.Youcanmakeupseveralquestionsthatwillhelpguideyouroverallstrategy.Atthesametime,undereachindividualtactic,haveseveralquestionsreadyformoment-to-momentguidance.Evenwhentheopposerisdoingmostofthetalking,youcansafelypermitthisbecausewiththeuseofaquestionyoucanalwaysobtainconversationalcontrol.HowtodeliverquestionsQuestionsmayraiseanxietyinthemindsofthosewhomustanswerthem.Theywillimmediatelythink,“Whataretheytryingtofindout?”or,“HowcanIavoidgivingawayinformationtheyshouldn’tknowabout?”Itisanestablishedfactthatanswerstodirectquestionsareunreliablebecausepeopledonotgenerallygivetruthfulresponsesanddonotalwayshavetheabilitytogivecorrectinformation,evenwhentheythinktheydo.Therearetwowaystoassureahighdegreeofreliabilityforanswerstoyourquestions.Onewayistolaythefoundationforaskingthem.Bylettingsomeoneknowwhyyouwanttoaskthequestion,youreducehisorheranxietylevelandconsequentevasiveness.Therewillbelessinhibitioningivingthetruefactsthatfirstcometomind.Forinstance,youaredoomedbeforeyoustartifyouaskyourvendor,“Howmanyofthesemachineshasourcompetitorbought?”Insteadyoushouldsay,“Irespectyourabilitytoanalyzetheneedsofcompanieslikemine.Howmanyofthesemachinesdoyoufeelacompanyofoursizeshouldhave?”Thisisa“nondirectivequestion”thatputspeopleateaseandallowsthemtoexpressthemselveswithsincerity.Thesecondmethodofassuringthereliabilityofanswerstoyourquestionsisthroughtheuseofthetacticcalled“bipolarquestioning.”Basically,thistechniqueaskstheanswerertomakeachoiceorexpressapreferencebetweentwodiametricallyopposedfeaturesofthesubjectinquestion.Suchquestioningisindirect.Theanswerwillshedlightonhowthepersonfeelsaboutthesubjectmatterasawhole,eventhoughtheansweronlyhasaconnectionwithafeatureofit.Forinstance,ifamanufacturerisofferingyoutherighttotakeonthedistributionofanewproductithasdeveloped,youshouldask:“Willitbesociallyacceptabletolower-classfamiliesorupper-classfamilies?”or,“Wouldmoreofthesebesoldtoteenagersoradults?”Gettinganswerstosuchquestionsbeforeindicatingtheareaofmarketintroductionyouhaveinmindwillgetyoutruthfulandunbiasedanswersfromthemanufacturer.Becauseuncertaintyisoneoftheprimefactorsinmakingpoororbaddeals,youmustforceyourselftoaskquestionsthatmakeyouuncomfortable.Havethecouragetopryintotheotherperson’saffairsifthefactsyouarelookingforareimportanttoyourdecision.Havethecouragetoaskwhatmayseemtobedumbquestions.Havethecouragetoaskquestionsthatyoufeelwillbeevaded.Evasionitselfwillgiveyouinformationyouneedtoknow.Bequietafteryouaskyourquestion.Makesilenceyourtoolforencouragingtheotherpersontotalkmoreandmoreandmore.Bepersistentinfollowingupyourquestionswhentheyevade.SeveralaspectstobewareofTheuseofquestionsisapowerfulnegotiationtoolandmustbeemployedwithdiscretionandjudgment.Thequestiondeterminesthedirectioninwhichtheconversation,argument,ortestimonywillmove.Theproperuseofthequestioncanoftencommandanensuingnegotiation.theuseofquestionsraisesseveralproblems.Onemayinnocentlytouchsomeemotionalchordwithaquestionandarouseconsiderableantagonism.Experienceshowsthatitisnecessarytopreparethegroundbeforeaskingquestions.Itisgoodpracticetoexplainthereasonforaskingaquestionwhereverthisisfeasible.Itavoidstroubleandembarrassment.Anotherwayofavoidingunnecessaryorunpleasantemotionalresponseistoavoidaskingforcingquestionslike“Whatisyourexcuse?”Anonforcingquestion,suchas“Howdoyoufeelaboutthematter?”permitsfullandcontinuingdiscussion.EffectiverespondingHowdoyoucounterquestions?Alwaysgiveyourselftimetothink.Neveransweruntilyouclearlyunderstandwhatisbeingasked.Donotbeembarrassedtoansweraquestionwithanotherquestion:“Whatdoyoumeanbythat?”Somequestionsdonotevendeserveanswers,especiallyiftheyareantagonisticorrhetorical.Donotbeafraidtogiveanexcuseforignorancebasedonincompleteknowledgeornotbeingabletoremember.EffectiverespondingProbablymostimportantofall,anticipatewhatquestionswillbeaskedsothatyoucanplanaheadwhetheryouaregoingtoanswertruthfully.Itiseasytospotafalseanswerwhenthequestioncatchesthepersonbysurprise.Eveniftheotherpersonisbarragingyouwithquestionsoneaftertheotherwithlightningspeed,donothesitatetoslowhimupwitheachquestionbygivingbackgroundinformationyoufeelisnecessary.Forinstance,“Youhavetounderstandthehistoryoftheproblem,whichbegan…”or,“I’mgoingtohavegivenyouthedetailedprocedurebeforewecanevenconsideryourquestion.”EffectiverespondingTherearesomealternativesthatyoumayuseonhowtoanswerwhenquestioned:

①Leavingtheotherpersonwiththeassumptionthathehasbeenanswered②Answeringincompletely.③Answeringinaccurately.④Leavingtheotherpersonwithoutthedesiretopursuethequestioningprocessfurther.2.5Observing

Besideslisteningtoyouropponentinanattempttolearnhisorherdesiresandneeds,youmustalsocloselyobservehisorhergestures.Forexample,inafriendlyconference,ifonemembersuddenlysitsbackandfoldshisarmswithsomeabruptness,youwouldknowatoncethattroublehadarrived.Gesturesaretremendouslyimportant.Theyconveymanyshadesofmeaning,andhavetheirpsychologicalundertonesandovertones.Therefore,observethegesturesofyouropposercarefullyandcontinuouslytogainacluetohisthinking.FacialexpressionEyesThemoutheyesIngeneral,duringconversationpeoplelookateachotherbetween30and60percentofthetime.peoplegenerallydomorelookingattheeyesofsomeonetheylike.Don'toverdoeyecontactbecauseitcanbecomeastare,whichsignalshostility,disrespect,athreatoraninsult.Apersonavoidingeyecontactwhilelisteningortalkingdoesnotnecessarilydislikeyouortelllies.mouthResearchershavefoundthatapersonwhoholdsalowerstatuspositiontendstodomoresmilingthanthepersonheorsheistalkingto.Thus,ifyouoverdoyoursmiling,youmayunintentionallyconveytheimagethatyouaresubordinatetotheotherpersonandnotanequal.Whatyouhaveinyourmouthandhowyouuseitcanbequiterevealing.BodylanguageofupperlimbsAsidefromfacialgestures,whatyoudowithyourhandsisthenextmostsignificantformofbodylanguage.Ofallhandsignals,thehandshakeisthemostrevealingandcangiveimportantcluestowhatsomeonereallythinksofyou.Afirmhandshakegivestheimpressionofquietconfidenceandsaysthatthispersonisgladtomeetyou.Italsosaysthattheindividualisanononsenseperson,confidentandatease.Theweakhandshakehasnoenergyatallandsuggestsacertainlackofconfidenceandwarmth.BodylanguageoflowerlimbsThewayapersonsitsisgenerallythewayheorshefeels.Apersonwhoselegsarecrossedandwho,perhaps,isleaningawayfromyouprobablyviewsyouinacompetitivemanner.Studiesshowthatmostnegotiationsarenotsuccessfullycompleteduntilbothnegotiatorshaveuncrossedtheirlegsandmovedclosertowardeachother.Ifcrossedlegsarealsocoupledwithcrossedarms,youhaveadifficultadversary.Ifthetopcrossedlegismovingupanddowninarhythmicmotion,theotherpersonisprobablyalsoboredwithyourideas.Normally,apersonwhodislikesyouorfeelsthreatenedbyyouwillleanfarbackinthechairormayinsteadsitupverystraightandtensely.HowtogetridofthedetrimentalbodylanguageThebestwaytorelaxandfeelgoodaboutyourselfistoforceyourselftobelieveyouaresuperior.Makebelievetheotherpersonorthegroupofpeopleyouaretalkingtoisindebtedtoyou.Imaginethegrouphasassembledtobegyouforanextensionofcredit.Youwillfindthatyouactuallyfeelmoreconfident,andpretencewillchangetorealitybecauseapersonbecomesfearlesswhenpracticingfearlessness.Ifyoufeelyourhandsmakingnervousmovements,putthembehindyourbackorinyourpockets,Inshort,byforcingyourmindtobeconfident,youwillsimultaneouslydisplayanattitudeofexternalcalmanddeliberationandconveytheimpressionofauthority,knowledge,courtesyandcooperation.PracticalSentencesAgreeing，HesitatingandDisagreeingIcouldn’tagreemore.Ithinkyourproposalisacceptable.Ihavenoobjectiontothisplan.Iaminagreementinprinciple,butIhavereservations.I’mbasicallyinfavorofit,buttheproblemshouldbediscussedfurther.Letmethinkitover.Iwillgivemyanswerlater.Sorry,it’sagainstourpractice.Franklyspeaking,Iamnothappywiththedecision.Wewon’tsurviveunderthepresentpricingagreement.Sorrytointerrupt,butI’dliketosaythatyo