外教点评学生英语作文后的思考 人教

外教点评学生英语作文后的思考衢州二中整理ppt①SusanKrantz与《外籍教师点评英语作文》一书②《高中英语课程标准》解读一、背景介绍整理ppt二、思考之一语言表达方式受传统习惯的影响/英语文化中的人士的表达方式1、中国英语教师教作文的方式与errorgravity整理ppt中国人往往注意理性分析、逻辑思维,往往注重结果,总要得出结论。西方人写作则较多利用实证分析、实例分析方法。他们注重对过程和事实的描述,往往不得出结果,让读者自己分析、并得出结论。“Englishwritingismoredirect.Thingsareclearlyexplained.Detailsorfactsarerequiredtosupportthetopic.”（SusanKrantz2001）整理ppt

我们来看一看美国明尼苏达州雷德温市市长重访浙江衢州后，对衢州所发生的变化所发出的感言。（摘录）“OneFootintheFutureandOneFootinthePast”.ThisismyforemostimpressionasIvisitQuzhou.Onecannotmisstheoldandthenewexistingsidebyside.Asaforeigneritisdifficulttosaywhichisthe‘RealChina’.Isitthelargenumberofpeopleridingtheiroldbicyclesloadeddownwithgoodsorisittheblackshinyluxurycarbeingdrivendownthestreet?IsittheschoolinruralareaswiththeleakingrooforisitthemodernschoolsbeingbuiltinQuzhou?Isitthefourlaneexpresswayorisitthesinglelanewalkingpathtoaremotevillage?EverywhereIlookIseetheoldandthenewexistingsidebyside.“OneFootintheFutureandOneFootinthePast”.…整理pptIamespeciallyfamiliarwithfarmsandfarmcooperatives.MystayinQuzhouhasprovidedmewiththeopportunitytoparticipateinmeetingsaboutagriculture.WhenIattendthemeetingsitseemsasifIhavebeentherebefore.Iamthinking-amIwatchingarerunof“AnOldMovie”?ThistypeofmeetingshastakenplaceinAmericancommunitiesandfarmsanumberofyearsago.整理ppt

Ihavewalkedalongtheriverbankwithafreshbreezeblowingthatpickedmyspiritsupandmademeforgetmyhomesickness.IhavegazedacrosstherivertothenewwesternsectionofQuzhouwhereallthenewgrowthofthetownisexpectedtogo.

下面几段话是摘自美国明尼苏达州雷德温市希尔顿剧院经理、导演希恩-多尔兹先生在衢州二中任教时所写的感言。整理ppt

DuringmysecondweekatQuzhouNo.2MiddleSchool,Ihavethehighhonorofworkingwithagroupofdedicated,hardworking,andverysmartteachersandadministratorswhohavemademefeelverywelcomeandinstantlyapartoftheirteam.整理pptEachdaycontinuestobeawonderfulnewadventureinfood,people,andplaces.Itisincrediblyancientyetyoung,brash,andfullofenergy.Theownerwaslounginginachairdozing.Myfriendgothisattention.Hesaid:"Itprobablywon'tsoundtoogood,Iamalittledrunk."整理pptThemusicianbrokeawayfromherbusydaytotapepickstoherfingers,laboriouslytunethe21-stringedinstrument.Music,though,isuniversal,andbeingabstract,canbesharedequallyandwithouttranslation.整理pptThisculturalbaseofChina,thisstrainofmusicthatvibratesthroughthesoulofapeople,andthiswayofmakingandsharingmusic,willserve,inthisoutsider'smostlyignorantopinion,aspartofthesolidgrounduponwhichChinacanbuildadynamicandpowerfulfuture.整理ppt

中国学生的句子1．原句：Ithinkifyouknowthetwosidesofthenetting,youwillhaveagoodwayofusingthecomputer.修改后句子：TheInternethastwosides,youwilljusthavetofindagoodwayofusingit.2．原句：WhenIhavefreetime,I’llenjoythemverymuch.修改后句子：IthinkwhenIhavefreetimeIwillplaywiththemalot.3．原句：Fishing,collectingstamps,Ijustlikethem.修改后句子：Fishing,collectingstamps,Ilikethemall.整理ppt4．原句：Ontheothersidetheremaybeafamousemblematicbuildingofthecountry,andalsohavethevalueofthecoinandthedate.修改后句子：Ontheothersidetheremaybeafamousemblematicbuildingofthecountry,thedateandthevalueofthecoin.5．原句：Inthebasketballcourttwostrongteamswereplayingabittermatch.Oneoftheteamsisours,theotherisclass4’steam.修改后句子：Onthebasketballcourtthereweretwoverygoodteamsplayingabittermatch,oneoftheteamswasours,theotheronewasclass4’s.6．原句：Thelastminutearrivedandthescoreswereequal.Wepushedforvictoryandwewon23-21.修改后句子：Finallythelastminutearrivedandthescoreswereequal,wereallywantedtowinandsowetriedourhardestandthefinalscorewas23-21.Wewon.整理ppt7．原句：IflewwithNorthwestAirlinesfromShanghaiPudongInternationalAirport，wepassedacrossthePacificOceanandourplanearrivedinDetroitat10:30inthemorning,localtime.修改后句子：IflewwithNorthwestAirlinesfromShanghaiPudongInternationalAirport，weflewacrossthePacificOcean.WearrivedinDetroitat10:30inthemorning,localtime8．原句：Thesecondfloorincludedabouttenrooms.Somewereusedtobeoffices,theotherswerebedroomsforsomeworkers.修改后句子：Somewereusedasoffices,theotherswereusedsasbedroomforworkers.整理ppt9．原句：Iwasverygladwhenwewenttothecountry,becauseoftheinterestingthingsthere.修改后句子：Ialwaysenjoyseeingthebeautifulthingsinthecountryside.10．原句：OntheeveningofOct18,theChinesenationalfootballteamgotthetickettotheWorldCup.修改后句子：OntheeveningofOct.18,theChinesenationalfootballteamsecuredtheirplaceintheWorldCup.11．原句：Thefirstcompanysaidthatmysisterwasnotoldenoughandthenwelostourwayandcouldn’tfindthesecondcompany.修改后句子：Mysisterfailedingettingthatjobthatwasbecausetheysaidshewastooyoung.整理ppt教材中的经典句子：1.Everynowandthen,wegettheitchtotravel.Thisphenomenon,mayexplainwhypeoplespendsomuchmoneyontripstointerestingplaces.2.DowntownRioisthecity’sculturalandhistoricalheart.3.AwalkthroughdowntownRioisahistorylessonandanadventure.4.AwalkaroundKitzbuhelisafeastfortheeyes—alivelymixofoldvillagecultureandtheexcitementofaninternationaltouristarea.5.LocatedinsouthernAustria,Kitzbuhelisaparadiseforskiers.整理ppt以下两篇短文是衢州二中高三（1）班祝嘉玮同学在学习了高二课本ThewaterPlannet及Destinations后写的文章：PoorsanitationImaginethis,whenyougointoapublictoilet,anunpleasantsmellcomestoyou,thefloorisalmostcoveredbyrubbishandthetapisnolongerrunning,there'snotissueandofcoursenoliquidsoap.Whatwouldyoufeel?Itisclearthatnoonecouldtoleratesuchthings.Andwhat'smore,walkingalongthestreetandlookatthedustbins,they'resodirtyandmuchgarbagelyingontheground,noonefeelslikewalkingclosetosuchawfulthings.AccordingtotheWorldHealthOrganization,poorsanitationhasbecomeoneofthethreebiggestkillersintheworldanditcancausemanyotherproblems,suchasairpollutionandinfections,especiallyinruralareas,wherepeoplehaveenvironmentallyunfriendlyhabitsandlesseducation.整理pptIbelievethateducationisthekeytothesolutionsforthepoorsanitation,withbettereducation,peoplewillbeabletobuildabettersocietyinharmonywithnature.Alltoooften,peoplethinkthattakingactiontoimprovethesanitationisthegovernment'sjob,however,it'sabsolutelyincorrect,allofushaveresponsibilitiestokeepourlivingenvironmentcleanandtidy.Governmenteducatespeopleandmakesusawareofthesituation,butnothingwillbeimproveduntilordinarypeoplelikeyouandIstartactingdifferently.外教点评：

Ihopethefuturewillinfactbegreenerandcleaner.Ithinkyouareabsolutelycorrect,educationisimportant,butactionisessential.Ilookforwardtothedaywhenthewholeworldenjoyspropersanitation.整理pptShadowofAIDSImaginethis:youare5yearsoldandtheAIDShityourwholefamily,yourfather,yourmotherandyourself.Youmotherdiedofthediseaseandyourfatherisstillstrugglingwithit,youcan'tsurviveonyourown.Whatwouldyouthink,andwhatwouldyoudo?AIDShasalreadyorphanedmillionsofchildrenintheworld,andabout3millionpeopledieofthediseaseeveryyear,eachyear,morethan5millionpeoplebecomeinfectedwiththevirus.IhavetosaythatAIDShasbecomethemostserioussocialproblemincontemporarysociety.ThetragedyofAIDShasalreadycastitsshadowonourlives.HIVspreadsfast,especiallyinAfricaandpartsofAsia,andwhatwasworse,mostofthesecountriesdonothaveenoughmoneytopreventandtreatthedisease,andtheknowledgeaboutAIDS/HIVisstillunknowntomany.整理ppt

AIDSvillage--allthepeopleliveinthatareaareinfectedwithHIV,mostofwhomcontractedHIVvirusintheearly1990sthroughtheunsafebloodselling.Fortunately,thegovernmenthasalreadypaidattentiontoitandbeguntotakestepstosolvetheseriousproblem.MostoftheAIDSpatientshavetosuffernotonlyfromthediseasebutalsofrompeople'sfearofthem.Ifwewanttodosomethingtohelpthepatientstogetoutoftheshadow,thefirstthingistochangepeople'smindofAIDSandletthemknowthatitissafetoshakehands,talkandeatwithsomeonewhohasAIDS.Wecouldtryourbesttoencouragethemtofacetheirlives--short,butmeaningful.

整理pptHumanbeingsshouldmakeeveryefforttocuresuchadisease,leadingtoaworldwhereeverybodycouldenjoyahealthierandhappierlifesincetheshadowofAIDShasgonewiththewind.

Yougrabthereader'sinterestbyhavingusimaginehowwewouldfeelifwehaveAIDS,agreatbeginning.Yourwritingaboutthisseriousproblemisverysensitive.IthinkyouhelppeopleunderstandAIDSandcareaboutpeoplewithAIDS.整理ppt思考之二激发学生学习英语写作动机的途径——教师（外教）点评获得乐趣，感到满足，持之以恒。中外文化对话，领悟异域文化。整理ppt

Excellent.Iloveyourdescription!Ithinkitwouldbeevenbettertolivethere.Itseemsverypeaceful.Idon’tknowwhy.Maybegardensmakethingspeaceful.Mymomhasagardeninthesummerthatisfullofasparagus,flowers,eggplants,beans,pears,andtomatoes!So,Ilovegardens!Hence,Ilikeyourstory.

Excellent,itisveryimportanttobeabletotellthegoodandthebadthingsabouteverything.youranalysisandexplanationisveryclearyouhaveobviouslyspenttimeoverthis.welldone.

Verywellwritten,itisimportanttohaveahobbyanditsoundslikeyoureallyenjoycollectingthesebooks.However,youmustmakesurethatyourhobbydoesn’ttaketheplaceofyourstudies.Welldone.

整理pptItisgreatthatyouareinterestedinthecoinsofothercountries.Itissoimportanttounderstandtheculturesandlifestylesofothercountriessothatwecanlearnfromoneanotherandmaketheworldbetter.Welldone.Mygoodness！Thatsoundswonderful,Iwasontheedgeofmyseat.averyexcitinggame.yourstoryiswellwritten.Fantastic！wellwritten，itsoundslikeyouhadagreattime.Youaresoluckytohavetheopportunitytogoandseesomanywonderfulplaces,somepeopleneverleavetheirhometown.Ihopeyourememberthistripforalongtime.整理pptYourdormitorylifesoundsveryexcitingandenjoyable.WhenChinawasacceptedtotheworldCupIwasinIsawalltheexcitement.Iamnotsurprisedyouweresohappywellwritten.ChenWen,Thisisabeautifulstory.Thankyouforsharingitwithme!Doyouwanttohaveamudballfightwithme?Let’sdoit!Mygrandfathertookcareofhisbeautifultomatoesasittheywerehischildrentoo.Verygood,sorrythatyoursisterdidn’tfindajob,butitgaveyouachancetoseethebeautifulcityofshanghai.Ihopethatyousucceedinthefuture.整理ppt整理ppt9、静夜四无邻，荒居旧业贫。。2023/1/22023/1/2Monday,January2,202310、雨中黄叶树，灯下白头人。。2023/1/22023/1/22023/1/21/2/20231:20:40PM11、以我独沈久，愧君相见频。。2023/1/22023/1/22023/1/2Jan-2302-Jan-2312、故人江海别，几度隔山川。。2023/1/22023/1/22023/1/2Monday,January2,202313、乍见翻疑梦，相悲各问年。。2023/1/22023/1/22023/1/22023/1/21/2/202314、他乡生白发，旧国见青山。。02一月20232023/1/22023/1/22023/1/215、比不了得就不比，得不到的就不要。。。一月232023/1/22023/1/22023/1/21/2/202316、行动出成果，工作出财富。。2023/1/22023/1/202January202317、做前，能够环视四周；做时，你只能或者最好沿着以脚为起点的射线向前。。2023/1/22023/1/22023/1/22023/1/29、没有失败，只有暂时停止成功！。2023/1/2202