【哲学】哈佛公开课《幸福课》07-PERFECTION 共32

PerfeconizmtiOutlineWhatisPerfectionism?CharacteristicsConsequencesSuccessandHappinessSourcesofPerfectionismOvercomingPerfectionismLearntofailorfailtolearnCrisis(WeiJi)DangerandOpportunity“Thegreatestmistakeamancanmakeistobeafraidofmakingone.〞 ElbertHubbardThePathofFailureAge22:LostjobAge23:DefeatedforstatelegislatureAge24:FailedinbusinessAge27:NervousbreakdownAge34:RanforcongressanddefeatedAge39:DefeatedagainAge46:RanforsenateanddefeatedAge47:DefeatedfornominationforvicepresidentAge50:DefeatedagainforsenateAge51:16thUSPresident“Freedomisnotworthhavingifitdoesnotconnotefreedomtoerr.〞 MohandasGandhi“Theimportantworkofmovingtheworldforwarddoesnotwaittobedonebyperfectmen.〞GeorgeEliotThomasWatsonSr.IBMAmyEdmondson(1999)“PsychologicalSafety〞“Ifyouwanttoincreaseyoursuccessrate,doubleyourfailurerate.〞 ThomasWatsonSr.“OriginsofGenius〞(Simonton,1999)Failyourwaytosuccess(Klem,1997)Perfectionismisanincapacitatingfearoffailurethatpermeatesourlives,especiallythoseareasthatwecareaboutmost.Itisanapproach,acognitiveandemotionalschema,thatweholdtowardthejourneyofourlives,towardtheprocessofgettingfrompointAtopointB.PerfectionVs.ExcellenceCharacteristicsDefensiveOpentoSuggestionsHalfEmptyHalfFullOverGeneralizeRealisticNoSelf-AcceptanceUnconditionalAcceptanceStaticDynamicPerfectionExcellenceFearoffailureFailureasfeedbackFocusonDestinationJourneyandDestinationPerfectionVs.ExcellenceConsequencesTemporaryReliefLastingSatisfactionInevitableFailurePossibilityofSuccessWastestimeAppropriateTimeAllocationPronetodisordersHealthyApproachHurtsSelf-EsteemContinuousImprovementHarmsRelationshipsAllowsforGrowthAnxiety/StressCreativeTensionPerfectionExcellencePerformance?LessPainMoreGainLessPainMoreGain??*@#!!#??SustainableapproachtogrowthProcrastinationHigherlevelsofself-confidenceLearntofailorfailtolearn‘TheLuckFactor’(Wiseman,2003)Creativity(Simonton,1999)80/20Rule(Pareto’sPrinciple)Increaseinflowexperiences(Csikszentmihalyi,1991)SourceofPerfectionismConditioningDestination=Reward=AcceptanceJourney=Unrewarded=MeansOnlySocialenvironmentPermissiontobehuman?“Emphasizingeffortgivesachildavariablethattheycancontrol.Theycometoseethemselvesasincontroloftheirsuccess.Emphasizingnaturalintelligencetakesitoutofthechild’scontrol,anditprovidesnogoodrecipeforrespondingtoafailure.〞IntelligenceversusEffortHarmfulPraise?(Dweck,2005)“Whenyoupraisekids'intelligenceandthentheyfail,theythinkthey'renotsmartanymore,andtheyloseinterestintheirwork.Incontrast,kidspraisedforeffortshownoimpairmentandoftenareenergizedinthefaceofdifficulty.〞FixedversusMalleableOvercomingPerfectionismAwarenessOvercomingPerfectionismAwarenessFocuson,andreward,effortActiveAcceptanceBehaviorchangesattitudeMeditationandvisualizationSettingaliberatinggoalorvisionThePlatinumRuleHelpingothers?Applyingthe3P’s…1.PermissionAcceptanceRespectforreality2.PositiveBe