老友记第一季-16中英文字幕

1、第十六集Unbelievable!Itsbeenhalfanhour.真是令人难以置信,已过了半个小时Ifthiswasacartoon,youdlooklikeahamnow.如果这是卡通你应该看起来像火腿一样-Theresthewaitress.Hello,miss!-ItsPhoebe!-女侍在那儿，抱歉，小姐等等-是菲比！-Okay,willthatbeall?-Wait.Whatareyoudoinghere?-好的,这些就是全部啦?-等等,你来这儿干什么?Iwasoverthere.Thenyousaid,Hello,miss.SoImhere.我本来在那儿,然后你叫“嗨,小姐.”

2、所以我就过来了No,howcomeyoureworkinghere?不,你怎么会在这儿工作?BecauseitsclosetowhereIlive,andtheapronsarecute.因为这儿离我的住处很近而且围裙也很漂亮-Canwestartover?-Okay,Imgonnabeoverhere.-可以重来吗?-好的,我到那边去TheOneWithTwoParts-Partl六人行第1季第16集第17集双胞胎两部曲Idontknowwhetherhestestingme.我不知道它是不是在考验我.butmymonkeyisoutofcontrol!我的猴子已失去控制Hekeepsera

3、singthemessagesonmymachine.它不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedlybyaccident.应该是个意外Oh,yeah,Ivedonethat.哦,是的,我做过这种事AndthenhegottothenewspaperbeforeIdid.它连续三天在我看报纸前.andpeedalloverthecrossword!在猜字游戏上尿尿Iveneverdonethat.这我没做过Lastnight,Idontknowwhathedidbuttherewerecaperseverywhere!昨晚,我不知道他做了什么他到处蹦来蹦去!-Shelooksexactlylik

4、ehersister.-ImsayingIseeadifference.-她看起来和她姐姐完全一样-我看到不同之处Theyretwins.她们是双胞胎Idontcare.PhoebesPhoebe.Ursulashot!我不管,菲比是菲比,乌苏拉很火辣Youknowhowwetalkaboutthings?你知道我们怎么说这种事情?-Letsnotdothatanymore.-Allright.-别再谈论那事了-好吧-Pheebs,guesswhowesawtoday?-Oh,fun!Okay.-菲比,猜我们今天遇见谁?-哦,好玩的事情!好的-LiamNeeson.-No.-连恩尼逊-不是-M

5、orleySafer.-No.-茉莉.塞弗-不是-Theladywhocutsmyhair!-Thiscouldbeaverylonggame.-剪我头发的女人!-这会是一个很长的游戏-Yoursister,Ursula.-Oh,really?-你姐姐,乌苏拉-哦,真的?-Sheworksatthatplace-Riffs.Iknow.-她在那儿工作-瑞菲餐厅,我知道Youdo?Shesaidyouguyshaventtalkedinyears.你知道?因为她说你们已多年不说话So,isshefat?对,她胖吗?NotfromwhereIwasstanding.从我的角度看不会Wherewer

6、eyoustanding?你从什么角度?Pheebs,soyouguysjustdontgetalong?菲比,你们合不来?Itsmostlyjustdumbsisterstuff.这只是姐妹之间的事Everyonealwaysthoughtofherastheprettyone.大家都认为她漂亮ShewasthefirsttowalkeventhoughIdiditlaterthatsameday.她先学会走路虽然我是在当天稍后学会的Buttomyparents,bythenitwas,Yeah,whatelseisnew?对我爸妈而言那,就已经不新鲜了Imsorry.Ivegottago.

7、IvegotLamazeclass.菲比,抱歉,我得走了我得去参加心理助产班AndIvegotearthscience,butIllcatchyouingym?我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了-lsthisjustgonnabeyouandCarol?-Susanwillbetheretoo.-就你和卡萝两人去?-不,苏珊也要去Wevegotdads,wevegotlesbians.Thewholeparentingteam.那有爸爸,女同志全部的父母都会到-lsntthatgonnabeweird?-ltmighthavebeenatfirst.-这样不是会很奇怪?-不会的,一开始或许会.bu

8、tnowImcomfortablewithit.现在我已坦然面对-Ross,thatsmyjacket.-Iknow.-罗斯,那是我的外套-我知道Hi.WeretheRostens.ImJ.C.andhesMichael.我们姓罗,我是洁西他叫麦可Andwerehavingaboyandagirl.我们有一个男孩和一个女孩Goodforyou.Allright,next?厉害,下一位ImRossGeller.Andthatsmyboyinthere.我叫罗斯,我儿子在那儿AndthisisCarolWillick.AndthisisSusanBunch.她叫卡罗,这位是苏珊SusanisCar

9、ols苏珊是卡罗的Whosnext?下一位是谁?Sorry,Susanis.?抱歉，苏珊是-Carolsfriend.-Lifepartner.-苏珊是卡萝的朋友-生活拍档Likebuddies.就像伙伴-Likelovers.-Youknowhowclosewomencanget.-好似恋人-你知道女人能有多亲近的-Welivetogether.-Iwasmarriedtoher.-我们俩住在一起-我俩曾经结过婚-Carol,notme.-Itsabitcomplicated.-卡萝,不是我-有点复杂了-Butwerefine.-Absolutely!-但是我们不错-绝对的!So,twins

10、!Thatsliketwobirths.双胞胎,好似要生两次Ouch!噢!toyoutoo,Helen.彼此,海伦-NinaBookbinderisheretoseeyou.-Okay,sendherin.-妮娜.布克宾德来找你-好的,让她进来-Comeonin.-Youwantedtoseeme?-妮娜,快进来-你想见我?Iwasreviewingyourdata.YouvebeenpostdatingyourFridaynumbers.我刚看过你的资料你一直填迟你周五数字的日期-Whichisbad,because.?-ItthrowsmyWENUSoutofwhack.-这样很不好，因为

11、-这样使我的WEENUS出现问题-Excuseme?-WENUS.-对不起？-WEENUSWeeklyEstimatedNetUsageStatistics.“WeeklyEstimatedNetUsageStatistics”每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha!对Wonthappenagain.IwouldntwanttodoanythingtohurtyourWENUS.不会再发生了我不会做任何事伤害你的维纳斯(WEENUS)IlltakeldiotsintheWorkplacefor200,Alex.要我就在“工厂里的白痴”上押200,亚里克斯Itsnotjustthatshescute,

12、okay?Itsjustthat.这不是她漂不漂亮的问题,这是.shesreally,reallycute.她真的很漂亮Itdoesntmatter.Youdontdipyourpeninthecompanyink.都一样,兔子不吃窝边草God,IevenknowthatandImprettymuchunemployable.上帝,我知道我几乎不应该被雇用Ross,yourlittlecreaturesgottheremoteagain.罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel,giveRossytheremote.马修,把遥控器给罗斯Marcel!马修!Marcel,yougiveRossyt

13、heremoterightnow!马修,现在马上把遥控器给罗斯YougiveRossytheremote把遥控器给罗斯-Great.-Relax.Illfixit.-这下好了-放心.我会修好的Oh,cool!UrkelinSpanishisUrkel.酷在西班牙文中叫“乌酷”Howdidhedothis?他是怎么办到的?IsleavingChristmaslightsupyourplantokeepusmerryallyearlong?你让圣诞灯开是想让我们“快乐”一整年?No,someonewassupposedtotakethemdownbutobviouslysomeoneforgot.

14、不,某人在新年期间就应该把它拿下她显然是忘了Someonewassupposedtowrite,Rach,takedownthelights.某人应该写个字条“瑞秋,拿下圣诞灯”.andputitontherefrigera然后贴在冰-Howlonghasthatbeenthere?-Areallylongtime.-在这儿多久了?-时间可不短了-Whereyoubeen?-Riffs.-你上哪儿去了?-瑞佛餐厅IthinkUrsulalikesme.Iorderedcoffee.我想乌苏拉喜欢我我只点咖啡Shebroughtmeatunameltandfourplatesofcurlyfri

15、es.她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score.有门了Sheissohot!她好带劲儿BeforeyoudoanythingJoey-like,youmightwanttorunitby你展开“乔依”行动之前,或许你可以找-Pheebs?-Yeah.-菲比?-当然IsitokayifIaskedoutyoursister?菲比,我约你姐出去你会介意吗?Why?Whywouldyouwanttodothat?Why?为什么?你为何要那样做?为什么?Soifwewentoutonadate,shedbethere.因为如果我去约会时,她就会在我身边Well,Imnotmysisters,youknow

16、,whatever.好吧,不管怎样,我不是她AndImean,itstrue,wewereoneeggonce.没错,我们确实曾待在同一颗卵子Butyouknow,wevegrownapartso但我们各自发育Idontknow.Whynot?我不知道有何不可?Cool.Thanks.酷.谢啦-Youokay?-Yeah,Imfine.-你还好吧?-还好DoyouwannawatchLaverneyShirley?你还要继续看?Sorry.抱歉Hi.SorryImlate.WheresCarol?抱歉,我迟到了.卡萝在哪儿?Stuckatschool.Someparent-teacherthi

17、ng.学校有事,老师和家长间的事Youcango.Illgettheinformation.你可以走了,我留下来上课No,IthinkIshouldstay.Weshouldbothknowwhatsgoingon.不我应该留下来我们两个都该留下来上课Oh,good.Thiswillbefun.很好,一定会很有意思的Weregonnastartwithsomebasicthird-stagebreathingexercises.首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms,getonyourback.各位妈妈请躺下Andcoaches,youshouldbesupportingMommyshead.教练

18、们支撑妈妈们的头-What?-What?-什么?-什么?-Imsupposedtobethemommy?-Illplaymyspermcardoncemore.-我该当妈?-好吧,我再打一次精子牌IhavetomissthecoachingtrainingbecauseImawoman?只因我是个女人我就得错过教练训练-So,whatdowedo?-Illflipyouforit.-了解,你说该怎么办?-掷铜板Flipmeforit?No,no.Heads!掷铜板?不我选头Onyourback,Mom!躺下吧,妈Allright,mommies,takeanicedeep,cleansingb

19、reath.各位妈妈们,请深呼吸Good.很好Nowimagineyourvaginaisopeninglikeaflower.很好,现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放着-Mr.D!Howsitgoing,sir?-Itsbeenbetter.-迪先生,如何?-好多了TheAnnualNetUsageStatisticsarein.年度净值已经算出来了-And?-Itsprettyugly.-然后呢?-奇惨无此WehaventseenanANUSthisbadsincethe70s.70年代之后没见过这么惨的ANUS-Whatdoesthismean?-Wellbelayingoffpeople.

20、-这代表什么?-每个部门都得裁员IknowIwaslatelastweek.ButIsleptfunnyand我知道虽然我上星期迟到,我那天睡姿不良把头发睡塌?Notyou.Relax.不是你,放松Everhavetofireanyone?曾经必须开除某人吗?No,butthatsnotaproblem.Thatswhymynamesonthedoor.没有,不过那不成问题.这就是我的名字在门上的原因啊DoyouknowwhenImgettingmynameonthedoor?你知道我什么时候,能在门上有自己的名字吗?Idontknow.Iputitinthething.我不清楚.我会记下来的

21、Itsokay.So,whoisitgonnabe?不说这些.那将会是谁呢?Nina!妮娜!Nina.妮娜Nina.妮娜Areyouokay?你没事吧?Yes.Yes,Iam.是的,我没事Listen,thereasonthatIcalledyouinheretodaywas.听着，我今天叫你进来是因为Pleasedonthateme.请别恨我What?怎么了?Wouldyouliketohavedinnersometime?能约你共进晚餐吗?So,whatdoyouwantforyourbirthday?菲比,你想要什么生日礼物?WhatIwantisformymomtobealiveand

22、enjoyitwithme.我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay“艾芙琳”的产品？-Bathsaltswouldbenice!-Okay!Good.-我想要浴盐!-好的!Whatisthisplace？这是什么地方？Yourecold,Ihavetopeeandtherescoffee.Howbadcoulditbe？你很冷,我想尿尿,窗户上有个咖啡杯还有比这更糟的吗？Ithinkwehaveananswer.我想我们有答案了Whyisshehere？她怎么会在这儿？ThiscouldbeGodswayoftellingustoeatathome.也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法-Think

23、Riffsfiredher？-No,weweretherelastnight.-她被瑞佛餐厅开除？-不,昨晚我们还在那儿吃饭,她不断端来剑鱼Areyougonnagotothe.？你不是要去？-Illwaittillweorder.Itsher.-ltlookslikeher.-不,点完之后再去-是她吧？看起来像她-Excuseme？-Yeah.-抱歉？-是Hi,itsus!是我们Right.Anditsme!好呀,是我-Soyoureheretoo？-Asmuchasyouare.-你也在这儿？-和你们一样Yourturn.该你了-Weknowwhatwewant.-Thatsgood.-我

24、们知道我们要什么-很好-Twocaffelattes.-Andsomebiscotti.我们要两杯拿铁还有小饼乾Goodchoice.不错的选择-Itsdefinitelyher.-Yeah.-绝对是她-绝对是她Icantbelieveyouhaventtoldthatgirlshedoesnthaveajob.我真不敢相信,你还没告诉她她失业了？YouhaventtakendowntheChristmaslights.你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations!Youvefoundtheworldsthinnestargument.恭喜!你发现了世上最薄弱的论点Imfindingth

25、erightmoment.我只是在寻找适当的时机Thatshouldntbesohardnowthatyouredating.应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会Honey,yourefired.ButhowaboutaquickiebeforeIgotowork？亲爱的,你被开除了我上班前何不来个“速战速决”Onceyoureinside,youdonthavetoknockanymore.进门后就不用再敲门了Illgetit.我来开-Hi,Mr.Heckles.-Youredoingitagain.-哈克先生-你们又来了Werenotdoinganything.Weresittingandt

26、alkingquietly.我们什么都没做.我们只是坐在这儿静静地聊天Icanhearyouthroughtheceiling.我可以透过天花板听见Mycatscantsleep.我的猫睡不着-Youdontevenhavecats.-Icouldhavecats.-你根本没养猫-我原本有时机养-Goodbye,Mr.Heckles.-Welltrytokeepitdown.-再见了,哈先生-我们会很小声的Phoebe,domeafavor.Trythison.Iwanttomakesureitfits.菲比,帮个忙,能试穿看看吗？我想知道合不合身？Myfirstbirthdaypresent

27、!Thisisreally我的第一件生日礼物，这衣服真No,no,itsforUrsula.Ijustfiguredsize-wise不,是送乌苏拉的,我只是想知道尺寸Sure.Yeah.Okay，itfits.好呀，合身-Areyouseeingheragain？-Yep，lceCapades.-你今晚又和她约会？-对，去看把戏滑冰Thisisserious.Iveneverknownyoutopayforanykindofcapade.这回你是来真的没想到你会为任何花式玩意儿付钱Idontknow.Ilikeher.我也不知道，我喜欢她Shesdifferent.Theressomethi

28、ngabouther她与众不同,她有Thatyoulike.Wegetit.Youlikeher.Great!你喜欢？我们懂你喜欢她，太好了Phoebe,Iaskedyou.Yousaiditwasokay.菲比,我问过你而你也同意了Maybenowitsnotokay.也许现在不同意了Okay.MaybenowImnotokaywithitnotbeingokay.也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay!好吧!IKnit,goodwoman,knit!快织,好女人AndthatstheChryslerBuildingrightthere.克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿-Nina!-Mr.Douglas

29、.Cooltie.-妮娜!-道格拉斯先生.领带不错Shesstillhere.她还在这里?Yes.Yes,sheis.DidntImemoyouonthis?没错,她还在.我没有给你这个备忘录吗?AfterIlethergo,Igotacallfromherpsychiatrist,Dr.Flennan我开除她后,接到她心理医生的Dr.FlennanDr.Flynn.佛佛林大夫Andheinformedmethatshetookthenewsratherbadly.他说她一时无法适应Infact,hementionedthewordfrenzy.老实说他提到“狂暴”这两个字-Yourekidd

30、ing!Sheseemsso-No.Nina?Shes-她?开什么玩笑?她-不,妮娜?她Ifyouaskedhernow.如果你现在问她.shedhavenorecollectionofbeingfiredatall.她根本记不得被开除这件事-Thatsunbelievable.-Andyetbelievable.-难以置信-你不得不信SoIdecidednottofireheragainuntilshellbenothreattoanyone.因此我决定暂时不再开除她直到我确定她对自己或其他人不构成威胁为止Iguessyouneverknowwhatsgoingoninsideaperson

31、shead.人的心中在想什么别人永远无法完全了解Well,Iguessthatswhytheycallitpsychology,sir.我想这就是为什么被成为“心理学”了ThesoundMomandDadwillneverforget.爸妈永远忘不了这声音Forthis,afterall,isthemiracleofbirth.这个,毕竟是生产的奇迹Lights,please.Andthatshavingababy.请开灯,这一集是生宝宝Nextweekisourfinalclass.下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan,godeep.苏珊,准备接球-Itsjustimpossible.-What

32、is,honey?-这太离谱了-怎么了?Whatthatwomandid.那个女人干了什么Iamnotdoingthat.Itlljusthavetostayin.我不会这么做的.他得留在我体内Everythingwillbethesame.Itlljuststayin.一切和原来一样,他得留在我体内-Carol,honey,itllbeallright.-Whatdoyouknow?-卡萝,亲爱的,不会有事的-你怎么知道?Noonesaskingyou,Mindifwepushthispotroastthroughyournostril?你怎么知道?没人问你,我能将这肉块穿你的鼻孔吗?Car

33、ol,sweetie.Cleansingbreath.卡萝,亲爱的,深呼吸Iknowitsfrightening.Butbigpicture:我知道你很惶恐,往远处想Thebirthpartisjustoneday.生产过程只是一天Whenitsover,wellallbeparentsfortherestofourlives.结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了Imean,thatswhatthisisallabout,right?Ross?怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗?罗斯?Ross?罗斯?Imgonnabeafather.我要当爸爸了-Thisisnewstoyou?-IknewIwashavin

34、gababy.-你才刚知道?-我一直都知道我有个孩子Ijustneverrealizedthebabywashavingme.只是不知道孩子有我-Youllbegreat.-Howcanyousaythat?-你会是个好爸爸的-你怎会知道?IcantevengetMarceltostopeatingthebathmat.我连阻止马修吃浴室垫都办不到-HowwillIraiseakid?-Somescientistsarenowsaying.-我如何养儿育女?-罗斯,科学家说.thatmonkeysandbabiesareactuallydifferent.孩子和猴子是不一样的Youmightw

35、anttolookintoit.我们可以验证一下-Whereyougoing?-Out.-你去哪里?-外面With.?和谁?Yes.是的CanIjustaskyouonequestion?能问你一个问题吗?Haveyoutwo,youknow,like,youknow?你们有没有,你明白的,就像,你知道的嘛?Youknow,yet?你知道的,对吧?Notthatitsanyofyourbusiness,butno,wehavent.不关你的事,没有,行了吗?Youmeantsex,right?你是指性吧?-Doyouhaveasec?-Sure.Whatsup?-有空吗?-当然,什么事?The

36、pastfewdays,peoplehavebeenavoidingmeandgivingmeweirdlooks.最近几天,大家都避开我而且以奇怪的眼神看我Well,maybethatsbecausetheyrejealousofus.或许他们在嫉妒我们Maybe.Butthatdoesntexplainwhytheykeeptakingmyscissors.或许吧,这无法解释他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybethatsbecauseyouregettingabigraise!或许是因为你被升职的缘故-Iam?-Sure.Whynot?-我升职了?-当然.为什么不呢?Oh,myGod!Youre

37、amazing!天啊,你真是太了不起了Youdontknow.你不知道Helen,dothepaperworkonMissBookbindersraise.海伦,能快处理布小姐升职的手续吗?YoustillwantmetosendherpsychologicalprofiletoPersonnel?你仍要我拿她的心理分析结果到人事部?Helendrinks.海伦喝醉了Willyoumarryme?你愿意嫁给我吗?Soaftertheproposal,Ikindofunraveled.升职后的事情,我就未经修剪了Right.Becauseyouwerereallyincontrolupuntil

38、then.是啊.因为你控制全盘直到那个时候-Itoldhereverything.-Howdshetakeit?-最后我把一切都告诉她了-她的反应如何?Prettywell.Exceptforthestaplerthing.坦然接受,除了拿钉书机钉我之外Atip.Ifyoureeverinasimilarsituation.提示.以后遇见类似的状况.never,everleaveyourhandonthedesk.切记别把手放在桌上Okay,IthinkIgethowtodothis.我知道该怎么调成这样了啊Canweturnitoff?MakethemgoawaybecauseIcantwa

39、tch.我们能把这关掉吗?把他们弄走,因为我没法看了啊Okay,theyregone.好了,现在没有了Areyouallright?你还好吧?ItsjustthiswholestupidUrsulathing.还不是乌苏拉惹的祸Pheebs,canIask?Sohesgoingoutwithher.Isitreallysoterrible?菲比,我能问他和她约会真有那么糟吗?Yeah.是的Imnotsayingsheseviloranything.我不是说她是很坏Shesjustalwaysbreakingmystuff.她总是弄坏我的东西WhenIwas8,shethrewmyJudyJetsonThermosunderthebus.我8岁时,她把我得朱迪杰特森热水壶丢到公车下AndthenwhenIwas12,shebrokemycollarbo