The Job Lot《职介破事儿（2013）》第三季第五集完整中英文对照剧本

1、OK, can we welcome to his first regional management meeting好的，我们来欢迎他的第一次区域管理会议- Greg Holder. - Hello.- 你们好。Greg's taking over the Nechells branch.Greg 来接管 Nechells 分店的事物。For my sins, yeah.就来混口饭吃而已。Perhaps I killed in a former life.我算是结束了之前的生活了吧。That's very funny.真有意思。- (Is he wearing a weddi

2、ng ring?) - (Oh, I'll have a look.)- （他戴了结婚戒指吗？） - （我去看看。）Actually, Greg, you should swap numbers with Trish,Greg 其实你应该和 Trish 交换号♥码I'm twinning job centres.我在联结两家职介所Brownall and Nechells are gonna be sisters.Brownall 和 Nechells 就要成姐妹了。Well, I've always wanted a sister.嘿，我一直想要

3、个姐姐。Hey er. could I borrow your jeggings, sis? I've got a hot date.那个，我能借用你的牛仔紧身裤吗，姐姐？我要去约个会。No, you cannot!不，你不行！I lent you my ra-ra skirt last weekend and it came back absolutely covered in stains!我上周借给你的啦啦队裙还回来的时候一定都弄脏了！That's good.真棒。(Well?)（怎样？）(I can't see, he keeps moving his hand

4、s.)（我看不到，他的手一直都在动。）OK, phones off and on the table, everyone, please.好的，各位请关掉手♥机♥放在桌上。Margaret, the blinds.Margaret，还有百叶窗。So, I don't need to remind you我不需要提醒你们that what happens in the room stays in the room.发生在这个房♥间里的事情不要说出去。- (Did you see it?) - It's too da

5、rk.- （你看到了吗？） - （太暗了。）Now, we all know job centres do not have leader boards我们都知道职介所没有排行榜for getting people off benefits,根据给人们带来的收益，but the job centre at the top of the leader board但是目前在职介所排行榜首位for getting people off benefits is.给人们带来最大受益的是- . Brownall.- Oh!(Oh, buggeration.)（哦，该死。） All day, you got

6、ta make it work No pay, you gotta make it work Some day, you gotta make this work Work So, sister from another mister, how are you settling in?妹妹，你是怎样一个来头？Good, good, yeah. Just could do with some sisterly advice.嗯。想听听姐姐的一些建议。- Hope you don't mind me popping in. - Oh, no, pop away!- 希望你不要介意我突然出现

7、。 - 不，不会。- Happy to be popped into. - Great!- 很高兴你能突然出现。 - 太好了！I am available and open to you 24/7.你随时随地都可以来找我。Married to the job. Not to a person. Well, not any more.和工作而不是人结婚了。对了，不再这样了。Are you attached?你结婚了吗？- Me? Er. no, no. - Oh.- 我？呃.不，不D-I-V-O-R-C-E? As the song goes.离-婚？就像那首歌♥唱的那样。

8、Er. no. D-E-A-D.呃。不。去-世-了。C-A-N-C-E-R?癌-症？C-A-R车-A-C-C-I.祸- Car accident. - Oh. - Yeah.- 车祸。 - 好吧。 - 耶So, Trish. Your figures for getting customers off benefits对了，Trish。你为客人带来利益的方法- are absolutely increds. - Thank you.- 是特别有效啊。 - 谢谢。And there's little old me languishing at the bottom of the leag

9、ue table.对我而言在成绩表的底部也是受苦呀。It's pretty obvious that I'm the trampy stepsister in this family.很明显我是这个家庭里的流浪汉啊。Yes, you are! Staying out all night drinking cider,是啊！待在外面喝一晚上的酒，getting fingered by Dwayne on his moped.因 Dwayne 的闷闷不乐而被告发。You'll be pregnant in a year, missy!姑娘，你一年之后就能怀孕了。Or dea

10、d!或者就死了！But erm. No, seriously, Greg, it's not all about stats.但是，呃.严肃点儿，Greg 这不仅仅事关统计。I hate all this league table stuff.我讨厌这些成绩排名什么的。What is that tune you're playing? Because it's music to my ears.你弹的究竟是什么调调？因为这对我而言是音乐呀。Our work should be about the people.我们的工作应当围绕人进行。I think. Heck, no

11、, I passionately believe,我认为.见鬼，不，我热切地相信，that the happier people are, the more motivated they'll become.他们越高兴的话，就会越有动力。That is exactly what I passionately believe, too.这也正是我所信仰的。If jobseekers were happier and less stressed.如果求职者能够更加愉悦，不再那么紧张. they'd stand a better chance of finding a job.他们将

12、会有更好的机会来寻找工作. because job centres would destressify them.因为职介所将会给让他们不再那么紧张。- Destressify? - Yeah.- 降低压力？ - 对。God, that's good. I'm gonna write that down.天哪，这真棒。我要把他们记下来。Destressify.降压。You know, gosh, Trish, I wonder.你知道的。哎呀，Trish，我想.- No, it's crazy. - No, no, no, no, no!- 不，太疯狂了。 - 不，不，

13、不，不，不！Greg, go on. I love crazy.Greg 继续呀，我喜欢疯狂。Alrighty then.好吧。I wonder if you and I. could make Brownall and Nechells我想知道，你们和我能不能使 Brownall 和 Nechellsinto relaxed jobseeker-focused motivation hubs.变成以放松求职者为主的充满动力的地方。Oh, Greg, that is absolutely not crazyGreg 我一点儿也不觉得疯狂and I still love it.但是我仍然喜欢他。

14、- Really? - Really.- 真的吗？ - 真的。- But I've. I've got an Angela. - Yeah, I know the one.- 但是 Angela 是个问题呀。 - 我知道。She's very efficient,她非常有效率，she gets three times more people off benefits than anyone else,她可以提供高于别人三倍的收益but she's what a lesser person would call a sour-faced bitch.但是她总是一个

15、苦瓜脸。She'll totally poo-poo our plans.她一定会破坏我的计划。Well, you could. get her out of your hair for a bit?你可以让她不参与这个计划呀。Send her off to do some peer-to-peer training.让她去做一对一训练。Palm her off on other job centres?把她骗到其他职介所去？By the time she gets back.到她回来的时候. it'll be a brand new Brownall.这就会是一个全新的 Br

16、ownall 了。Jinx! Jinx again!想到一块儿去了。You see!你看！Karl.- I don't want you to go. - What, and I do?- 我不想让你走。 - 什么，我又能怎么办？Trish is making me go on a road trip with Angela.Trish 让我和 Angela 一起去个公路旅行。You never know, you might bond. Like. Thelma and Louise.你不会知道，你这样可能会建立起某种联♥系♥。 就像.Th

17、elma 和 Louise。They killed themselves.他们杀死了他们自己。Bagsy the front.放在前面。Look! Aren't these fab?看！这些是不是很棒？The printers have done such a great job.这些印刷品真的很棒。Thanks for going, Natalie.感谢你去呀，Natalie。- Yeah, she's really looking forward to it. - Yeah.- 她真的很想去。 - 那就好。Now, you've got a very busy sc

18、hedule.现在你的时间表就安排得满满的了。It would appear London can't wait to meet Angela, ha!看起来伦敦已经等不及与 Angela 相见了。Bon voyage! Enjoy London, Angela。.旅途愉快！享受伦敦吧！Angela。I won't. I find Londoners cold and rude.我才不会。伦敦人又冷又无理。So, quick huddle, team Brownall.Brownall 的成员们快聚在一起吧。OK?This is Greg Holder, manager of

19、Nechells branch.这是 Greg Holder，Nechells 片区的经理。Hi, guys.大家好。And we are starting a revolution.我们想在将要开始一个改革. with this.通过这个- as our weapon. - A box?- 武器。 - 一个盒子？It's a customer feedback box, Karl.Karl 这个是顾客意见箱，This is the beginning of a new Brownall.这个是 Brownall 新的开始。We are going to destressify job

20、seekers.我们要来缓解求职者的压力。I love that word.我喜欢这句话。. by not putting any pressure on them to find work.通过不向他们增添压力来协助其寻找工作。They will then write comments about you guys.他们将会给你们的工作留下建议。- The destressifyists. - Yeah, on these feedback forms.- 你们这些减压者。 - 对，就在这些反馈表上。Now, think of them like. like mini reviews.现在就

21、把他们当做是迷你评论吧。And then deposit them in here.然后把他们放到这里面。Keep them happy, happy, happy, so they write positive things让求职者高兴，高兴，在高兴，他们就会写积极的东西了。and prove that destressification is the way forward.从而说明减压是有进展的。Unless they haven't looked for work?除非他们没有找到工作。Even if they haven't looked for work.即便他们没

22、有找到工作。- We're forgetting all about figures, targets and league tables. - Yeah.- 我们要忘掉这些数据和成绩表。 - 对。Trish, we won't have anything to do.Trish 我没别无它事可做。and I think that is an amazing idea.我认为这是很好的一个点子。Looking for a job is a bit like.找工作就好像. like looking for love.好像是寻找爱情。It's only when you

23、stop searching that the perfect one just.只有你停下来寻找最棒的那个时It falls right into your lap.它才会来到你面前。Er. Greg's right.呃. Greg 是对的。Relaxed jobseekers will find their own way to work.放松求职者就会让他们找到他们自己的道路。Genius. The jobseekers will be destressed, not distressed.天才，求职者这样就会被降压而不是加压了。Destressed not distressed

24、, I love that!是减压而非施压。我喜欢。I feel completely destressificated.我感到彻彻底底的放松。- Where do you want these, Trish? - Oh er. waiting area.- Trish 你想把这些放在哪里？ - 呃.等候区吧。First part of the plan -计划的第一部分 -relaxing bean bags instead of uncomfortable chairs.用懒人沙发来取代不舒服的椅子。I can't see where I'm going.我看不清楚我在去哪

25、里。That's because you're the size of a Borrower.因为你就和他一样大。Do you think nine's enough?你认为九个就行了吗？You're not nervous, are you, Angela?Angela 你紧张吗？No. but I'm not doing it.不. 但我不会去做的。Why not?为何？I haven't had enough time to prepare.我没有足够的时间准备。- You are nervous. - I'm not.- 你紧张。

26、 - 我才没有。If a jobseeker told you they didn't go to an interview如果求职者告诉你们他们不想去应聘because they didn't have enough time to prepare,因为他们没有足够的时间准备，- would you let them off? - Absolutely not. - Why?- 你会让他们走吗？ - 绝对不。 - 为什么？- Because it's an excuse. - Exactly.- 因为这是一个借口。 - 这就对了。. and Angela Bromfo

27、rd does not accept excuses.Angela Bromford 并不接受这个借口。Never, ever pretend to be me.不，别装作是我。So, if you're not nervous那么，如果你不紧张and you don't accept lack of preparation as an excuse,那你就不会把缺乏准备作为一个借口，- I should let the audience in. - Wait!- 我应该让顾客进来。 - 等等！Angela, they're waiting.Angela 他们在等。-

28、Tell me I'm special. - What?- 告诉我我很特殊。 - 什么？I need to feel special.我需要感到与众不同。Oh, you are special, Angela.Angela 你当然独特。You are very, very special.你真的与众不同。OK.好的。Hello, Brentford.你好，Brentford。You look relaxed. Sticky yum yum?你感觉很放松。要来点儿吗？Oh, I shouldn't.我不应该。Catch your breath and fill out a cus

29、tomer feedback form.调整好你的呼吸，再填好这张反馈表。Don't be afraid to use the word 'destressified', OK?千万别害怕用“减压”这个词。- I think that went well. - Well? I smashed it.- 我觉得进行得挺好的。 - 我搞砸了。- Don't know about smashed it. - Did you not hear that applause?- 不要认为你搞砸了。 - 难道你没听到掌声吗？My people love me.我的人们都爱着我

30、。Are you not gonna stay and help me pack up?你会留下来帮助我打包吗？I'm the talent. 我可是天才。Are you wearing perfume?你用了香水吗？French mint and. jasmine blossom.法国制♥造♥，茉莉香型。It's Natalie's. I miss her smell.这是 Natalie 的。我想她的味道了。Oh, man up, Karl! She's only been gone five minutes.坚强

31、起来吧。她才走了五分钟而已。I can understand you wearing her knickers but. her perfume?我可以理解你穿了她的内♥裤♥，至于香水嘛.That's just weird.就是挺奇怪的。What are you talking about? What paper jam?你在说什么？什么卡纸了？There's no paper there to be jammed, you idiot.根本就没有纸卡住，你这个笨蛋。If you were a person I would kill

32、you in your sleep.如果你是个人，我一定会在你睡觉的时候杀了你。Bad time?坏时机？Oh! Greg, hi!Greg 你好。No, no. I'm fine.不，不，我挺好的。I've bought your erm. jobseekers a gift.我给你的，呃，求职者带了一份礼物。Aw.哇。The gift of destressification. Shall I.?减压的礼物。我应该.？Oh er. yeah. Yes, that's fine.对，这样就好。Oh! Ooh!哦！How's that? Sensual?这样怎样

33、？舒服吧？Yeah, yeah. No, actually, yeah, it's fine.耶，不，其实，对，挺好的。It's lovely. Really relaxing, thanks.挺好的，真的很放松。You know erm. my late wife, Lorna. She loved these.你知道吗我过世的妻子，Lorna，挺喜欢这样的。- Did she? - Yeah, yeah, she'd lie in my lap and then I'd - 她是的吗？ - 她会躺在我的怀里，然后我就会I didn't know yo

34、ur wife Lorna, but.我不知道你的妻子，Lorna，但是I imagine that she would want you to be happy now. Move on.我知道她肯定想让你过得开心，放下过去。Not forget ALL about her, but. maybe find a new love.不是彻彻底底地忘掉她，但是，或许找个新欢。Do you want to do me now?我现在想给我做吗？Sorry?什么？Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.噢！对对对，当然。- I'm ready. - OK, erm.-

35、 我准备好了。 - 好的。So, we'll just start with a few details.我们先从一些细节开始。OK, sure, that's fine. Fire away.好的，挺好的。开始吧。OK. Er. can I have your first name, please?能告诉我你的名字吗？Eoghan.- On? - No, it's Eoghan.- On 吗？ - 不，是 Eoghan。Orn? Sorry, could you spell that for me, please.呃？抱歉，你能拼写给我听吗？- E. - A? - N

36、o, E.- E. - A? - 不, 是 E.E. Right, yep, sorry.E。好的，不好意思。O, G.- J?- No. G, like George.- 不。G，就像 George 的首字母。- Judge? - No, George, like George Best.- Judge? - 不，是 George，就像 George Best。- George Best? - Aye.- George Best? - 对。- I. - No, come here.- 我。 - 不。看这里。E-O-G-H-A-N.- Eoghan. - Oh, right.- 好的。OK.

37、Sorry, that's my fault.抱歉，这是我的错。- And er. can I take your surname? - McGeoghegan.- 你能告诉我你的性吗？ - McGeoghegan.- What? - Everything all right?- 什么？ - 一切都还好吗？Er. yeah, I'm just having some er.呃。我与这个先生communication issues with this gentleman.有一些语言问题。For God's sake, I'm speaking English.天哪

38、，我就是在说英语。Oh, I see what the problem is here.懂了，我觉得问题就在这里。- (He is so drunk.) - No, no, Ash - （他醉了。） - 不，不Trust me, Karl, I've done a module on this.相信我，我知道是怎么回事儿。We can't help you until you want to help yourself, OK?如果你不帮助你自己的话我们也帮不了你。So I'm gonna give you the number for an alcoholic sup

39、port group.我会把你的电♥话♥给戒酒互助会。Yous pair are a disgrace. This is not the end of this.你的搭档真差劲，这没完没了了。God, you could really smell it on him, couldn't you?天呢，你可以闻到他身上的味道，不是吗？Oh, no, no. I think that's Natalie's perfume.不，我认为是 Natalie 的香水。And he's not drunk, Ash,他没有喝酒，h

40、e's just Irish. With a very strong accent.他只是口音很大的爱尔兰人而已。Oh, my God, I've just been horribly racist.天呢，我简直是太种族主义了。I'll have your feckin' jobs for this.我对你的工作感到极其恼火。Ah-h-h-h-h-h.Ah-h-h-h-h-h.Mummy made me mash my mini muffins.妈妈让我捣烂我的迷你小松饼。Mummy made me mash my -妈妈让我捣乱我的Oh, for God

41、9;s sake, Angela. You must be warmed up by now.Angela，看在上帝面上。你现在必须得热身好。Never interrupt me when I'm in the zone.不要在我的地盘打断我。Drink.水。Morning, Miss Bromford.早上好，Bromford 女士。I'm sorry, they only had plain flavour crisps.对不起，他们只有普通味道的薯片。(Ask him if he got my rider.)（问他用我的车没有。）Miss Bromford says di

42、d you get her rider?Bromford 女士询问你用她的车没有？Yes, but these were all I could find.用了，但这是我所能找到的所有东西。Get me a Cheese and Onion Grab Bag, or I walk.我要芝士洋葱味的。要不走路去。We're finished. We're absolutely finished.我们完了。我们彻彻底底地完了。Mm-hm. He was proper angry.他真的很伤心。And insulted and humiliated, and the victim o

43、f a racist attack.辱骂，羞辱还有种族歧视。What are we gonna do?那我们接下来怎么办？We need to get that complaint back.我们应该把投诉信拿走。I could lose my job over this.我会丢掉我在这里的工作。I'm still on my three-month probation period, Karl.我仍然在我的三个月试用期中，Karl。All right. Well, look, we'll just get the form back.好吧，我们就只好把表格拿回来。Just c

44、alm down.放松吧。I can't, it's too late. My panic disorder's kicking in.不行，太迟了。我的恐慌症要发了。I'm nauseous, my heartbeat's erratic,我开始恶心了，我的心跳都不稳定了。- I'm absolutely dripping with sweat. - Well, what can I do?- 我现在浑身是汗。 - 我还能做些什么？I need to breathe, help me relax.我需要呼吸，帮助我静下来。I need to i

45、magine I'm on a beach.我需要想象我在沙滩上。All right er. you are. You are on a beach.好吧，你在沙滩上。- Erm. it's a beautiful sandy - No, I don't like sand.- 很漂亮的沙子。 - 不，我不喜欢沙子。OK, er. it's a beautiful stony beach.好吧。石头真漂亮。Er. the waves gently lapping at your feet.海浪在轻拍我的脚。- It's too cold, Karl. -

46、 No, no, no. It's nice.- 太冷了，Karl。 - 不，不，不。真好。- Are there jellyfish? - No. No jellyfish.- 这里有水母吗？ - 不。没有水母。- The tide's coming in. - No. Ash, it's miles out.- 潮水来了。 - 不。远去了。No, no, no, no. It's definitely coming in.不，不，不，不。一定来了。I'm cut off, I can't swim!我停不下来呀，我不会游泳！I'm g

47、oing under.我要沉下去了。I'm drowning, Karl!我快淹死了，Karl！Call the coastguard, call the coastguard!打电♥话♥给海岸警卫队，打电♥话♥给海岸警卫队。Oh. No, no, no, not now. Tomorrow's the big day.不，不，不，不是现在。明天是个大日子。Stop telling me there's a paper jam when you ruddy well know the

48、re isn't.不要在你明知没有的时候，告诉我这里还卡纸。Shh!嘘！Come on, Trish. Be brave, stay calm.别这样，Trish。勇敢点，保持冷静。Blend with the shadows.藏在阴影里。Not tonight, thank you. This job centre's closed!不是今天，谢谢。 现在职介所已经关门了。Wait! Trish, Trish, Trish, it's us.等等，Trish, Trish, Trish, 是我们。- What? - It's us!- 什么？ - 是我们！Oh

49、, bearded Jesus. Karl, I'm so sorry!天哪。Karl，我很抱歉！I've brain damaged him, I've destroyed his beautiful mind.我打了他的脑袋，我毁掉了他这么美丽的脑袋。Hang on. What are you doing here?等等，你在这里干什么？We're having an affair.我们有些事儿。No, we're not! Ash, just tell her the truth.不，我们没有。告诉她真♥相&heart

50、s;。We were racist to a man and he put a complaint in the feedback box.我们对一个人表现出种族主义，然后他就把投诉信放在反馈箱里去了。- We're just trying to get it back. - Please don't sack me.- 我们只是想把它拿回来。 - 别开除我们。We're going to have to get it back out.我们要把它拿出来。Right, let's find this complaint, shall we?好吧，我们来看看投诉信

51、，对吧？"The new bean bags are so comfy,“新的懒人沙发很舒服，I fell asleep and missed my signing on time.我睡着了而且错过了约定。The advisor didn't even care! Brilliant." Oh, good God.顾问却一点儿也不在意这件事儿！真棒！“真好。"ove not being pressured to get a job, I'm gonna stay unemployed forever“没有被建议获得职业，我还是一直保持失业好了”-

52、"The psychologist kept looking down my top." - - Oh, I'll take that.- “那个神经病不停地看着我.” - 我拿着这个。No, no, no! They're missing the point.不，不，不！他们完完全全遗漏了重点。The jobseekers are meant to be happy and destressed so they want to get a job.求职者应该感到愉悦和轻松才对，这样才能获得一个工作。Yeah. none of them are saying

53、 that.不.没有人这样说。I can't let Greg see these, we need to get rid of these forms.我不能让 Greg 看到这些，我们快解决掉。Erm. No, we could say there's been a break-in.嗯.我们可以说有人破门而入把东西偷了。Well, there was a break-in, we broke in.对，这里有痕迹，我们破门而入。Yeah. When Greg comes in tomorrow,对。明天 Greg 来的时候就这样说。we'll say that t

54、he forms were stolen in a robbery.我们可以说这些反馈表在盗窃中被偷了。- Good idea, great idea. - It needs to look realistic.- 好理由，好理由。 - 这需要看起来很真实。Well, intruders don't just take stuff, they destroy stuff.侵入者不仅仅偷走东西，还要破坏东西。That's what they do.这就是他们所做的。Yeah, they'd kick over that welcome desk for a start.他

55、们首先会毁掉前台。That felt amazing!感觉真棒！Come on. Let's trash this mother!来吧，我们把这里弄个底朝天！Come on!来吧！I have made a mess!我把这里弄得真乱！How'd you like that, huh? You still got a paper jam?你看这样怎样？看你还卡不卡纸？Oh, you have?你还卡吗？Oh, let me help you with that.让我来帮你一把。You know what?你知道吗？Actually, we could have just wri

56、tten new feedback forms.其实，我们只需要重新写一遍反馈表就行了。Oh, yeah.对额。Yes, that er. That would have been the better option.对，其实那是一个更好的选项。Trish, have you seen this?Trish 你看到这个没有？Oh, no. Er. we must have been broken into.我们一定被盗了。Dirty scumbags.卑鄙。Erm. shall I fetch you the hoover?我需要把吸尘器拿来吗？We need this cleared up

57、before the managers' meeting.我们需要在经理会议之前把这里打扫干净。Oh, no, we must have been broken into.不，我们一定被盗了。I'll call the police.我打电♥话♥给警♥察♥。We don't need to call the police, Paul.Paul 我们不需要打电♥话♥给警♥察♥。It's only a ruddy photocopier and some bean bag balls.这里只有一个该死的复印机和豆包球。Oh, no! We must have been broken into.不！我们一定被盗了。- What's happened to you? - Huh?- 发生什么了？ - 嗯？Oh. I walked into a door.哦. 我走进门。What the