情侣间常犯的7个沟通问题

1、情侣间常犯的7 个沟通问题7Communication Mistakes Most Couples MakeBeing half of a couple can be difficult, even if you-over-heelsre headinlove.Communicating with your honey can get touchy, because both of you have different thoughts, opinions, emotions and histories. Check out this list and see what common comm

2、unication mistakes most couples make, so you can eliminate them from your own relationship.处对象不是件易事， 即便你沉溺爱河无法自拔。 爱人间的沟通有时会很敏感， 因为两人有着不同的思想、观点、 情感和过往。看看这个列表上多数情侣常犯的沟通问题，以便在恋爱时引以为鉴。1. Assuming that more communication is the solution.Believe it or not, there is such thing as too much communication. Ha

3、ve you ever discussed or argued your point so much that you start saying everything thatcomes to mind? Sometimes those things that come to mind aren t the best tocome from your mouth But this happens because you re talking so much thatyou re saying things just to hold your own in the conversation. T

4、his is how youknow you re communicating too much. Sometimes you need to keep things toyourself, and while this doesnt mean hiding things from your partner, it meanspicking your words carefully and saying just what needs to be said to resolve the issue at hand.认为说得多就能解决问题无论你信不信， 话太多就是个问题。你有没有过多地为你的观点

5、而讨论或争执，以至于什么事都随着性子说？有时心里想的并非就是最适合表达出来的. 但往往这就因为你的话太多，所以才会在为自己据理力争时说错话。这个就是沟通超出范围的表现。有时你需要自己去处理事情， 但并不意味着要你瞒着另一半，而是指在处理手头之事的时候仔细斟酌你的话，只需说出能解决问题的就行。2. Expecting your partner to read your mind.You don t want to communicate too much, but you also don t want to bite yourtongue and expect your partner to

6、know what you re thinking. If you re waitingfor someone to read your mind, you re never going to feel like an equal in therelationship. You need to say what you re thinking and feeling, just make sureyour partner understands that these are your emotions and opinions, notsomething you re forcing on t

7、hem.期望对方读懂你的想法既然你不愿意过多交流，那么你也就不要只字不提就指望对方读懂你的想法。若你只等待别人来懂你， 那你将永远感受不到恋爱时的平等。所以你需要将你所感、所想表达出来， 让对方能够理解你情感和观点，而不是强迫对方接受。3. Giving in without saying what you think.Don t roll over and give up everything you re thinking just to resolve theproblem at hand. Your partner can t win every time, and you need

8、to make sureyou re letting your feelings be known and getting what you need from therelationship, too. If you never say what you think because you re trying to keepthe peace, you ll find that over time youtually holdingreac a grudge andresenting your partner because you re unhappy in the relationshi

9、p.什么都不说就放弃在处理问题的时候， 不要拖沓， 也不要放弃表达想法。你的爱人不会每次都能猜透你， 所以你需要确定对方知道你的感受， 同时也要从恋爱中得要你想要的。 如果只为了和平就掩埋了你的想法，久而久之你就会觉得自己充满怨恨，感情的不快也会使你厌恶对方。4. Harping on hopeless issues.It s easy to bring up fights from the past, or nag your partner for things in theirhistory, or things they believe or do differently from yo

10、u. This is always a badchoice, though. It changes nothing, and it makes you look like yougoing to let anything go. Be the type of person who can get over a fight when itresolved, and not bring it up ineach fight that follows.“ Live in the momentsounds like silly advice when you re in the middle of a

11、n argument, but itsomething that needs to be done so you re not prolonging every fight you have.re never ” s对无望之事喋喋不休过去的事能够轻而易举引发争吵，碎念。 这同样是个愚蠢的表现。而对方的曾经或他们与你背道而驰的行为想法也会让你碎唠叨无济于事，这只会显得你对一切都无法释怀。要做这样的人，不为已了之事烦忧，亦不为未了之事忧愁。当你们争得面红耳赤时，来蠢透了，但这是需要践行的，唯有这样争吵才不会愈演愈烈。“活在当下 ”听起5. Not understanding what is rea

12、lly being said.Some couples find it helpful to summarize each others points. Sounds likesomething you d do for a high school paper, right? It s actually a really good wayto make sure you understand each other! After your partner shares theirthoughts, summarize by saying“ It sounds like you re happy

13、with X, butdY neeto change to feel like the relationship is moving forward.” Your partner can thenclarify if needed. If you got it right, then you can start explaining your thoughtson the issue.不明白对方真正表达的意思有情侣发现总结对方的观点能起到作用。听起来像是在做高中作业，对吧？但这真的是明白对方的好方法！每当对方分享了他们的想法时，你可以这样总结“听起来你对X 很满意，而Y 就需要为增进感情改变一

14、下了。 ”如果需要的话，你的爱人就会具体说明了。要是你分析对了，那么你也可以就此继续表达你的想法。6. Thinking about your rebuttal instead of listening.It s ok to admitmostof us go into a fight knowing what points we want tomake, how we want the other person to feel, and what we want for“winning” .This is a bad attitude to have, though, because any

15、 discussion should have atleast two sides to be fair. But when you know exactly what you want to say, you often think about that instead of listening to what the other person is saying.Don t just focus on the first few words your partner sayslisten to their wholestatement, take a moment to absorb it

16、, and then think about what you want to say in a return.老想着反驳而不是倾听承认这点没什么- 我们多数人都会为了坚持己见、控制他人感受、“赢得 ”立场而挑起争吵。这种态度很恶劣， 因为每场讨论至少应该有两方参加才算公平。 可一旦你清楚知道自己想要表达什么的时候， 通常你都会护着那个想法， 而非去倾听对方。 也不要逮着对方开头的只字片语不放 - 要倾听他们的全部诉说，再好好地吸收，最后思量着怎样回应。7. Not considering the other s point of view.Everyone is different, and

17、 you know your partner intimately. You know how theythink about things, how certain words or situations make them feel. Dont forgetall of this just to win an argument. Take your partners feelings, opinions andbackground into consideration when you communicate. You can sidestep a lot of fights and hu

18、rt feelings by being considerate this way.不考虑对方的观点每个人都不尽相同，而你也熟知爱人的全部。你知道他们看待事情的方式，也知道他们对某些话语和情景的感受。 不要只为了赢得争论就将这些遗忘。 当你们在交流时， 你要考虑到对方的感受、观点以及背景。做到这点，你们就可以免去许多争吵和伤害。钟子期听懂了俞伯牙的琴音“巍巍乎若高山，荡荡乎若流水”,俞伯牙视其为知音。钟子期死后，面对江边一抔黄土，俞伯牙发出“此曲终兮不复弹，三尺瑶琴为君死”的感慨，摔琴而去，从此，高山流水，知音难觅。红楼里，宝钗与黛玉皆爱宝玉，宝钗看重功名，常拿一些伦理纲常来压制他的不羁与顽劣，黛玉却从未提及这些，因她懂得他的心性，她说“你既为我之知己，自然我亦是你之知己”,造化弄人，木石前缘虽是虚空一场，却怀金悼玉，梦萦千古，今日读来依然荡气回肠！不是所有的相遇都可以相知，不是所有的相知都可以永恒。生命里，我们只愿结交那些心性相宜的人，统一的语言，相同的志趣，将彼此的心灵拉近，一份懂得，不言不语，却在默契里滋生。懂得，是两颗心的对望，潜生一种心灵感应，不发一言，便可知会。一声懂得，没有千言万语，却可以令人眸中含泪，心中蕴暖。这世间