双语美文Youlearnhowtosayno

1、You can't be all things - or do all things - for all people.你不能为所有人成为任何人或做所有事.A life without limits means rarely saying "no" and considering everyone else's feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to bur

2、nout, a major health hazard in its own right.不设限的人生意味着极少说“不,把所有其他人的感受放在自 己的感受之前.这些取悦他人的习惯不但会让你彻底筋疲力 尽,还会让你直接走向崩溃,严重危害你的健康.We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University's Work/Life Employee AssistanceProgram, on the life-changing power ofestablishinga

3、clear-cut view of what you're willing totolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits: 我们咨询了范德堡大学“员工工作与生活援助工程的临床心 理学家、设限专家查德巴克,请他来告诉我们如果能明确自 己愿意承受的限度,会给生活带来多大的改变.如果你学会 了设限,就会得到以下几点好处：1. You're more self-aware.你会更有自知之明.Self awareness is the art of re

4、cognizing your needs and feelings as your own, and not tied to any person or your environment. Creating your own limitations is an inherently self-aware act - and that can be incredibly beneficial for your own welfare.自知是一种不受任何人或周遭环境影响来熟悉自己需要和 感受的艺术.设定自己的限度本身就是一种自知行为一一它 能给你带来不可思议的好处.2. You become a

5、better friend and partner.你会成为更好的朋友和伴侣.Boundaries make it possible to allow yourself to recharge.And when you're not totally tapped out, you have more energy to devote to the ones you love.设限能让你有时机恢复能量.你不会把自己搞得筋疲力尽, 也就会有更多的精力来照顾自己所爱的人.3. You take better care of yourself.你能更好地照顾自己.Boundaries help

6、 you prioritize your own well-being - plain and simple.理所当然地,设限能帮你重视自己的需要.4. You're less stressed.你会少些压力.Without establishing your own limits, you open yourself up to the risk of taking on everyone's problems in addition to your own. Or worse, you ignore your own happenings entirely. If you

7、have a reasonable boundary, you don't take on additional stress.不设限的话,你就有可能把所有人的问题变成自己的问题, 将自己置于这种风险之中.或者,还有更糟的情况,就是你 会完全忽略自己的幸福.如果你有合理的限度,就不会吸纳 额外的压力了.5. You're a better communicator.你能更好地与人沟通.In order to really establish limits, you have to state what you can or cannot tolerate, Buck said.

8、 That means beingclear and concise. Expressing your own needs will also allow you to be more transparent. All of these characteristics are elements of good communication.巴克说,为了真正设立限度,你必须要明确说明你能忍受什 么或者不能忍受什么,这也就意味着你必须说得清楚简洁.表达自己的需要还会让你成为一个更透明的人.所有这些特 征都是构建良好沟通的元素.6. You start trusting people more.你开始

9、更加信任他人.Expressing your limitations to others means you're trusting them to handle those emotions you 're conveying, Buck said. And more trust means better relationships.巴克说,能向别人表达由你的限度,说明你信任他们,相信 他们能够处理好你传达的情绪.而更多信任也就意味着更好 的关系.7. You're less angry.你会少些愤怒.When you don't have set bound

10、aries, it means that givesother people the power over your own life - and that can lead to anger.你不为自己设限,也就给了别人支配你生活的权力一一而这样就会导致愤怒情绪.8. You learn how to say "no."你会学会如何说“不"No" may be a small word but it's certainly powerful. Themost basic way of establishing a boundary is dec

11、lining anything you don't have the capacity to handle.“不可能是个很小的字眼,但无疑具有巨大的能量.设限的 最根本方式就是拒绝那些你无力处理的事情.9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.你终于可以做你真正想做的事.Limits free you up for more opportunity to do the work andactivities that you actually desire to do.设限会将你解放,让你有更多的时机去参与你真正渴望的工作和活动

12、.10. You become a more understanding person.你会成为一个更贴心的人.When you're compassionate toward yourself about what you can tolerate, you're better able to express that to other people who have their own boundaries they want to follow. 当你能对自己有同情心、知晓自己能承受的限度,你也就能 更好地表达对别人的同情心并理解他人遵循的限度."These a

13、ren't even that good. I think I could do better." That's one of the reasons I started writing. Because I was reading other articles and that thought came to mind. I've even thought that about books. Famous books. Brilliant books.“这些都不够好,我觉着自己能做得更好.这就是我开始写作 的原因之一,由于我读别人的文章时就有了那样的想法.我

14、 甚至对书也有过那样的想法,包括名著和经典著作.Who the fuck am I to think that?我是谁呀怎么有资格那么想That's my ego.这就是我的自我价值感.And I'm grateful for it.而且我很感谢这种自我价值感.Because I never would've started writing without it. I never would've found something I love to do without it. I never would've been able to quit my

15、9-5 without it.由于要不是自我价值感,我绝不会开始写作,绝不会发现自 己喜爱的事,绝不会放弃朝九晚五的生活.But.但是Sometimes I get too caught up in it. I'll let other people's accomplishments get inside me and make me feel bad. I become jealous. I become resentful.有时我太过于深陷其中,心里会一直想着别人的成就从而产 生对自己的不满,我开始嫉妒、开始愤怒.I let myself be tricked into think I'm not goo