擅长社交的人都讨厌party-中英文演讲稿3页

1、The idea of being a sociable person is nowadays heavily associated with finding enjoyment in going to, and in all likelihood also in giving, parties. To be sociable means welcoming the idea of being in a room replete with an above-average number of other guests, many of whom will be unknown, most of

2、 whom will be holding a glass of alcohol, bantering, with lights lower than they normally would be, and music somewhat higher than required in order faithfully to catch the details of anothers voice.如今我们一说到社交达人，通常都是指那些喜欢参加聚会、而且很可能也喜欢举办聚会的人。好像善于交际就意味着喜欢挤在一个满是人的房间里，身边围绕着一群陌生人，多半都在喝着酒，各种吐槽，灯光比平时要暗，音乐一定

3、得是嘈杂的，好像这样就可以听到对方的真心话。Parties have become synonymous with sociability because of certain underlying ideas about what true social connection might require and entail.聚会已经成为了社交的同义词，就好像聚会就能满足人们对于真实的社会关系的要求和需求。We assume that sociability naturally springs up when lots of people are put together in a room

4、, that it means speaking a lot and notably cheerfully about things that have been happening in our lives, but it depends on a jokey manner and-ideally-on the possession of a few entertaining anecdotes, often involving striking coincidences, but such assumptions sidestep two sizeable objections.我们会假设

5、，只要很多人聚集在一个房间里时，社交活动自然就展现出来了，而所谓社交就是人们兴高采烈的谈论着生活中所发生的事情，语气一定要诙谐，最好还能讲一些轶闻趣事。 最好谈话中还能发现些“惊人的巧合”但这种假设回避了两个大问题。02Firstly, true sociability-that is a real connection between two people-is almost never built up via anything cheerful. It is the result of making ourselves vulnerable before another person,

6、by revealing something that is broken, lost, confused, lonely and in pain within us. We build genuine connections when we dare to exchange thoughts that might leave us open to humiliation and judgement; We make real friends through sharing in an uncensored and frank way a little of the agony and con

7、fusion of being alive.首先，真正的社交是两个人之间真心的交流，这种交流从来不是通过任何愉快的东西建立起来，这是在别人面前展现自己脆弱的结果。袒露自己的脆弱、失落、迷茫、孤独、痛苦。当我们能够彼此交换想法时，才算建立起真正的联系，这些想法可能会让我们受到羞辱和批判； 但我们也只有通过坦诚、毫无保留的姿态，分享生活中的烦恼和疑惑，才能交到真正的朋友。Secondly, true sociability requires context. We generally under such pressure to appear normal, self-possessed and

8、solid, we are understandably uninclined spontaneously to disclose our true selves. Our default mode is-without anything sinister being meant by this-to lie about who we are and what's really going on in our lives.第二，真正的社交需要一个好的环境。我们往往为了表现出正常，自制和情绪稳定而承受着巨大的压力，所以我们不愿意主动暴露真实的自几。我们会下意识地，但并非出于恶意地撒谎，以

9、掩饰真实的自己以及自己生活中真实发生的事情。This suggests that a genuinely social occasion might be rather different from what we typically envisage. We think of a good host as someone who makes sure there is enough wine and ,at a pinch, ensures people know each others names, but in the profound sense, a good host is som

10、eone who creates the conditions in which strangers can start to feel safe about being sad and desperate together.这表明，真正的社交场合可能与我们通常设想的完全不同。我们认为一个“好主人”是指确保有足够的葡萄酒，并在必要时，保证人们都知道对方的名字，但从更深刻的意义上说，一个好的主人是一个能够创造条件的人，在这种条件下，陌生人能够在伤心与绝望时感受到安全感。03Unfortunately, the modern world seems particularly resistant t

11、o anything that seems artificial around parties, which threatens to evoke that most dreaded of all social genres: the corporate get-together. The thought is simply to pack a room and leave the rest to nature. But a commitment to deep sociability might lead us to recognize that we do depend on a litt

12、le artful choreography to get us into the psychological zone in which connections can unfold.不幸的是，现代社会对于聚会中的虚假社交有很强的的适应力，在这种强大适应性的裹挟下，一种最令人恐惧的社交模式-团体聚会，也随之产生。也就是把房子收拾好，剩下的留给大家自由发挥。但事实上，为了确保深层的交流，我们需要一些诗意的引导，来让自己进入心理舒适区，从而敞开心扉。We might need encouragement-and even a helpful lanyard-to share a little o

13、f what is sad within us. We need help in networking, not in order to find new investment opportunities, but so as to identify shared regrets, humiliations and feelings of despair.我们可能还需要鼓励-甚至是一个纽带-来引导我们诉说出内心的悲伤。我们在人际关系方面所需要的帮助，并不是为了寻找新的投资机遇，而是为了找出共同的遗憾、羞辱和绝望的感觉。Parties, as they are currently structu

14、red, constitute a clever ruse by sharp minority- perhaps only ten percent of humanity-to persuade the rest of us that we have been provided with the social contact with crave. But, in truth, it takes a sharply insular and misanthropic person to feel that what goes on in an average party really count

15、s as anything like the requisite encounter with one's fellow human animal.现在社会所组织的各种聚会是由极少数人设下的圈套-也许只是10%占比的一群人，他们想试图说服其他人“我们已经为大家提供了你们渴望的社交环境”。但是，事实上，只有性格孤僻和愤世嫉俗的人才会觉得在这些聚会上所发生的的社交，是他们作为人类所必须的结交朋友的方式。If we have a lingering horror of parties, we should be generous towards our hunches. It doesn't mean that we don't like other people, rather that we have too ambitious and a conception of social contact to put up with what is on offe