2021年TED英语演讲 如何在说话时表现出你的专业性

1、TED英语演讲 如何在说话时表现出你的专业性 放声说话并不是一件容易的事情，哥伦比亚大学商学院教授Adam Galinsky通过心理研究想出了许多解决这一问题的办法。下面是为大家收集关于TED英语演讲：如何在说话时表现出你的专业性，欢迎借鉴参考。 演说者：Adam Galinsky Speaking up is hard to do. I understood the true meaning of this phrase exactly one month ago, when my wife and I became new parents. It was an a _zing moment

2、. It was exhilarating and elating, but it was also scary and terrifying. And it got particularly terrifying when we got home from the hospital,and we were unsure whether our little baby boy was getting enough nutrients from breastfeeding. And we wanted to call our pediatrician, but we also didnt wan

3、t to _ke a bad first impression or e across as a crazy, neurotic parent. So we worried. And we waited. When we got to the doctors offi _ the next day, she immediately gave him formula because he was pretty dehydrated. Our son is fine now, and our doctor has reassured us we can always contact her. Bu

4、t in that moment, I shouldve spoken up, but I didnt. But sometimes we speak up when we shouldnt, and I learned that over 10 years ago when I let my twin brother down. My twin brother is a documentary film _ker, and for one of his first films, he got an offer from a distribution pany. He was excited,

5、 and he was inclined to aept the offer. But as a negotiations researcher, I insisted he _ke a counteroffer, and I helped him craft the perfect one.And it was perfect - it was perfectly insulting. The pany was so offended, they literally withdrew the offer and my brother was left with nothing. And Iv

6、e asked people all over the world about this dilem _ of speaking up: when they can assert themselves, when they can push their interests, when they can express an opinion, when they can _ke an ambitious ask. And the range of stories are varied and diverse, but they also _ke up a universal tapestry.

7、Can I correct my boss when they _ke a mistake? Can I confront my coworker who keeps stepping on my toes? Can I challenge my friends insensitive joke? Can I _ the person I love the most my deepest insecurities? And through these experien _s, Ive e to recognize that each of us have something called a

8、range of aeptable behavior. Now, sometimes were too strong; we push ourselves too much. Thats what happened with my brother. Even _ an offer was outside his range of aeptable behavior.But sometimes were too weak. Thats what happened with my wife and I. And this range of aeptable behaviors - when we

9、stay within our range, were rewarded. When we step outside that range, we get punished in a variety of ways. We get di _issed or demeaned or even ostracized. Or we lose that raise or that promotion or that deal. Now, the first thing we need to know is: What is my range? But the key thing is, our ran

10、ge isnt fixed;its actually pretty dynamic. It expands and it narrows based on the context. And theres one thing that determines that range more than anything else, and thats your power. Your power determines your range. What is power? Power es in lots of forms. In negotiations, it es in the form of

11、alternatives. So my brother had no alternatives; he lacked power. The pany had lots of alternatives; they had power. Sometimes its being new to a country, like an immigrant, or new to an organization or new to an experien _, like my wife and I as new parents. Sometimes its at work,where someones the

12、 boss and someones the subordinate. Sometimes its in relationships, where one persons more invested than the other person. And the key thing is that when we have lots of power, our range is very wide. We have a lot of leeway in how to behave. But when we lack power, our range narrows. We have very l

13、ittle leeway. The problem is that when our range narrows, that produ _s something called the low-power double bind.The low-power double bind happens when, if we dont speak up, we go unnoti _d, but if we do speak up, we get punished. Now, _ny of you have heard the phrase the double bind and connected

14、 it with one thing, and thats gender. The gender double bind is women who dont speak up go unnoti _d, and women who do speak up get punished. And the key thing is that women have the same need as men to speak up,but they have barriers to doing so. But what my research has shown over the last two dec

15、ades is that what looks like a gender differen _ is not really a gender double bind, its a really a low-power double bind. And what looks like a gender differen _ are really often just power differen _s in disguise.Oftentimes we see a differen _ between a _n and a wo _n or men and women, and think,

16、Biological cause. Theres something fundamentally different about the _es. But in study after study, Ive found that a better explanation for _ny _ differen _s is really power. And so its the low-power double bind. And the low-power double bind means that we have a narrow range, and we lack power. We

17、have a narrow range, and our double bind is very large. So we need to find ways to expand our range. And over the last couple decades, my colleagues and I have found two things really _tter. The first: you seem powerful in your own eyes. The second: you seem powerful in the eyes of others. When I fe

18、el powerful, I feel confident, not fearful; I expand my own range. When other people see me as powerful, they grant me a wider range. So we need tools to expand our range of aeptable behavior. And Im going to give you a set of tools today. Speaking up is risky, but these tools will lower your risk o

19、f speaking up. The first tool Im going to give you got discovered in negotiations in an important finding. On average, women _ke less ambitious offers and get worse outes than men at the bargaining table. But Hannah Riley Bowles and Emily A _natullah have discovered theres one situation where women

20、get the same outes as men and are just as ambitious. Thats when they advocate for others.When they advocate for others, they discover their own range and expand it in their own mind. They bee more assertive. This is sometimes called the _ _ bear effect. Like a _ _ bear defending her cubs, when we ad

21、vocate for others, we can discover our own voi _. But sometimes, we have to advocate for ourselves. How do we do that? One of the most important tools we have to advocate for ourselves is something called perspective-taking. And perspective-taking is really _: its simply looking at the world through

22、 the eyes of another person. Its one of the most important tools we have to expand our range. When I take your perspective, and I think about what you really want, youre more likely to give me what I really want. But heres the problem: perspective-taking is hard to do. So lets do a little experiment

23、. I want you all to hold your hand just like this: your finger - put it up. And I want you to draw a capital letter E on your forehead as quickly as possible. OK, it turns out that we can draw this E in one of two ways, and this was originally designed as a test of perspective-taking. Im going to sh

24、ow you two pictures of someone with an E on their forehead - my former student, Erika Hall. And you can see over here,thats the correct E. I drew the E so it looks like an E to another person. Thats the perspective-taking E because it looks like an E from someone elses vantage point. But this E over

25、 here is the self-focused E. We often get self-focused. And we particularly get self-focused in a crisis. I want to _ you about a particular crisis. A _n walks into a bank in Watsonville, California. And he says, Give me $2,000, or Im blowing the whole bank up with a bomb. Now, the bank _nager didnt

26、 give him the money. She took a step back. She took his perspective, and she noti _d something really important. He asked for a specific amount of money. So she said, Why did you ask for $2,000? And he said, My friend is going to be evicted unless I get him $2,000 immediately. And she said, Oh! You

27、dont want to rob the bank - you want to take out a loan. Why dont you e back to my offi _, and we can have you fill out the paperwork. Now, her quick perspective-taking defused a volatile situation. So when we take someones perspective, it allows us to be ambitious and assertive, but still be likabl

28、e. Heres another way to be assertive but still be likable, and that is to signal flexibility. Now, i _gine youre a car salesperson, and you want to sell someone a car. Youre going to more likely _ke the sale if you give them two options. Lets say option A: $24,000 for this car and a five-year warran

29、ty. Or option B: $23,000 and a three-year warranty. My research shows that when you give people a choi _ among options, it lowers their defenses, and theyre more likely to aept your offer. And this doesnt just work with salespeople; it works with parents. When my nie _ was four, she resisted getting

30、 dressed and rejected everything. But then my sister-in-law had a brilliant idea. What if I gave my daughter a choi _? This shirt or that shirt? OK, that shirt. This pant or that pant? OK, that pant. And it worked brilliantly. She got dressed quickly and without resistan _. When Ive asked the questi

31、on around the world when people feel fortable speaking up, the number one answer is: When I have social support in my au _n _; when I have allies. So we want to get allies on our side. How do we do that? Well, one of the ways is be a _ _ bear. When we advocate for others, we expand our range in our

32、own eyes and the eyes of others, but we also earn strong allies. Another way we can earn strong allies, especially in high pla _s, is by asking other people for advi _.When we ask others for advi _, they like us because we flatter them, and were expressing humility.And this really works to solve ano

33、ther double bind. And thats the self-promotion double bind. The self-promotion double bind is that if we dont advertise our aomplishments, no one noti _s. And if we do, were not likable. But if we ask for advi _ about one of our aomplishments, we are able to be petent in their eyes but also be likea

34、ble. And this is so powerful it even works when you see it ing. There have been multiple times in life when I have been forewarned that a low-power person has been given the advi _ to e ask me for advi _. I want you to noti _ three things about this: First, I knew they were going to e ask me for adv

35、i _. Two, Ive actually done research on the strategic benefits of asking for advi _. And three, it still worked! I took their perspective, I became more invested in their cause, I became more mitted to them because they asked for advi _. Now, another time we feel more confident speaking up is when w

36、e have expertise. Expertise gives us credibility. When we have high power, we already have credibility. We only need good eviden _.When we lack power, we dont have the credibility. We need ex _llent eviden _. And one of the ways we can e across as an expert is by tapping into our passion. I want eve

37、ryone in the next few days to go up to friend of theirs and just say to them, I want you to describe a passion of yours to me. Ive had people do this all over the world and I asked them, What did you noti _ about the other person when they described their passion? And the answers are always the same

38、.Their eyes lit up and got big. They _iled a big beaming _ile. They used their hands all over - I had to duck because their hands were ing at me. They talk quickly with a little higher pitch. They leaned in as if _ing me a secret. And then I said to them, What happened to you as you listened to thei

39、r passion? They said, My eyes lit up. I _iled. I leaned in. When we tap into our passion, we give ourselves the courage, in our own eyes, to speak up, but we also get the permission from others to speak up. Tapping into our passion even works when we e across as too weak. Both men and women get puni

40、shed at work when they shed tears. But Lizzie Wolf has shown that when we frame our strong emotions as passion, the condemnation of our crying disappears for both men and women. I want to end with a few words from my late father that he spoke at my twin brothers wedding. Heres a picture of us. My da

41、d was a psychologist like me, but his real love and his real passion was cine _,like my brother. And so he wrote a speech for my brothers wedding about the roles we play in the hu _n edy. And he said, The lighter your touch, the better you bee at improving and enriching your perfor _n _. Those who e

42、mbra _ their roles and work to improve their perfor _n _ grow, change and expand the self. Play it well, and your days will be mostly joyful. What my dad was saying is that weve all been assigned ranges and roles in this world. But he was also saying the essen _ of this talk: those roles and ranges

43、are constantly expanding and evolving. So when a s _ne calls for it, be a ferocious _ _ bear and a humble advi _ seeker. Have ex _llent eviden _ and strong allies. Be a passionate perspective taker. And if you use those tools - and each and every one of you can use these tools - you will expand your

44、 range of aeptable behavior, and your days will be mostly joyful. Thank you. 放大声音得说话并不简单。 我直到整整一个月前，当我 与妻子初为父母的时候 才理解这个短语的真正用意。 那是一个神奇的时刻。 那是一个令人兴奋 与激动的时刻， 但是那也是可怕的， 令人恐惧的时刻。 当我们刚从医院回到家的时候， 尤其令人恐惧 我们并不确定 我们刚出生的宝宝是否 能从母乳中得到足够的养分。 我们想打 _给我们的儿科医生， 但是我们也不想给别人 留下不好的第一印象， 或者被当作是疯狂的， 神经质的父母。 所以我们很担心。 但我们选择

45、了等待。 当我们第二天早上 去见医生的时候， 她立刻给宝宝开了配方， 因为他脱水很严重。 我们的 _现在已经好了， 我们的医生也让我们放心， 可以随时 _她。 但是在那个时刻， 我应该大声说出来的，我却没做到。 但是有时我们也会在不该说话的时候 放声大说， 我是在20xx年多以前，当我让我的 双胞胎兄弟失望的时候，学会的。 我的双胞胎兄弟 是一个纪录片摄影师， 在他的早期作品中， 有一部得到了分销公司的青睐。 他很激动， 也倾向于接受这份邀请。 但是作为一名谈判研究员， 我坚持要求他拒绝这份邀请， 并帮助他起草了一份 _的合同。 而那确实是 _的- _的侮辱行为。 那家公司感到被冒犯了， 他们

46、就真的撤回了他们的邀请， 然后我兄弟就一无所有了。 我问过世界各地的人， 关于大声说的两难问题： 当他们可以断言的时候， 当他们可以推动自身利益的时候， 当他们可以表达观点的时候， 当他们提出一个有抱负的要求的时候。 我听过大量的，各不相同的故事， 但他们却共同编织了同一幅绣帷。 我能在老板们犯错时 纠正他们的错误吗? 我能与老是踩到 我脚趾的同事对质吗? 我能质疑朋友讲的 不合时宜的笑话吗? 我能告诉我最爱的人 我内心深处的不安全感吗? 通过这些经历，我开始认识到 我们每个人都是有一个 可接受行为范围的。 有些时候，我们太强势了： 我们给自己负压太大。 那就是发生在我兄弟身上的 _所表明的。

47、 甚至提出一个建议，都是在他 可接受行为范围之外的了 但是有时，我们又太软弱了。 就是我和我妻子所表现出来的。 而这个可接受行为范围- 当我们呆在范围内的时候， 我们就会被奖励。 当我们跨出范围圈的时候， 我们就会受到不同形式的惩罚。 我们被开除或贬低，甚至被排斥。 我们失去加薪或晋升，或是一笔交易。 现在，我们需要明白的第一件事就是： 我的域是什么? 但关键问题是，我们的 可接受范围并不固定;它实际上是高度动态的。 它会随具体语境而放大或缩小。 有一样东西在可接受范围大小 这件事上起决定性作用， 那就是你的实力。 你的实力决定了你的可接受范围域。 实力是指什么? 实力是以各种形式呈现的。 在

48、谈判中，实力以 其他解决方案的形式呈现。 而我的兄弟没有其他选择; 他的实力不够。 公司就有很多的备用选择; 他们的实力很强。 有时是新到一个国家， 例如 _， 或是新加入一个 _，或是对什么事情没有经验， 就像我和我妻子初为人父母。 有的时候是在工作上， 有人是老板， 而另一些人是下属。 有时是在情感上， 一个人比另一个人投入更多重点是，当我们有强大的实力时， 我们的可接受范围 就会变得非常广。 我们的行动就有了很大的余地。 但是当我们实力不足时， 我们的域就会缩小。 我们行动就变得局限。 问题是当我们的 可接受范围缩小的时候， 就会进入一种“弱势两难”的处境。 当我们陷入“弱势两难”的处境

49、时， 我们不为自己说话，就会被忽视， 当我们说出来的时候，又会被惩罚。 你们中的很多人都听过 “双重约束”这个短语， 并把它和另一样事物挂钩， 就是性别。 性别两难就是指当女性不发声， 就会被忽视， 但女性为自己说话， 又会被惩罚的情况。 关键是，女性有着 与男性同样的为自己说话的需求 但她们这样做会遇到更多的障碍。 但是我在过去 _年里的研究中发现， 这个看似是性别差异，其实并不是真正的性别两难困境， 其实是弱势两难的问题。 那些表面上看似是性别差异 其实质只是实力差异伪装成的样子。 很多时候，当我们看到一位男性和一位女性之间的差距时， 或者男性与女性之间， 我们就会想，“生理因素。 两性在

50、本质上就是不同的。” 但是在一个又一个的研究当中， 我找到了一个能更好解释 很多案例中性别差距的原因 那就是实力。 所以把它称作弱势两难困境。 处于弱势两难就意味着 我们的可接受范围很窄 我们实力不足。 我们的可接受范围越窄， 我们的弱势两难就越明显。 所以我们必须找到方法， 扩大我们的可接受范围。 在过去的几十年中， 我和我的同事找到了 两个重要的影响因素 第一点：你在自己眼中是实力者。 第二点：你在他人眼中是实力者。 当感到自己实力强大， 就会很自信，不会害怕; 就能扩大自己的域。 当他人把自己看作实力强大的人时， 他们就给予了我更广的可接受范围。 所以我们需要工具去扩大 我们的可接受行为

51、范围。 我今天就要给你们一套工具。 大声说是有风险的一件事， 但是这些工具会降低大声说的风险。 我要给你们的第一个工具 是在协商领域被发现的， 是很重要的一个发现。 平均来看，女性在谈判桌上， 相比男性， 更少的提出有野心的条件， 并取得更差的结果。 但是汉娜赖利鲍里斯 和艾米丽阿曼图拉发现 在有一种情况下，女性 和男性是同等的野心勃勃 也能得到同等的结果。 那就是当她们在为他人说话的时候。 当她们在为他人说话时， 她们就会发觉自己的 可接受范围并在脑海中扩大它。 她们变得更加自信。 这就是我们经常说的“熊妈妈效应”。 就像熊妈妈在维护自己的熊宝宝， 当我们为他人声张的时候， 我们就能发掘自己

52、的声音。 但是有些时候， 我们必须为自己放声说。 我们应该怎么做呢? 为自己讲话需要的 最重要的工具就是 一种叫做“换位思考”的东西。 “换位思考”其实很简单： 就仅仅是通过另一个人的 眼睛看世界而已。 这是我们扩大自身可接受范围 的最重要的工具。 当我站在你的立场， 去想你真正想要什么的时候， 你就更有可能给我，我真正想要的。 但是这有一个问题： “换位思考”是一件很难的事情。 让我们做一点儿实验。 我希望你们所有人都像这样， 把手举起来， 把手指竖起来， 我希望你们在自己的额头上写一个大写的E 越快越好。 好吧，结果表明我们 有两种不同的书写方法， 这就是原本用来测试 换位思考的实验。 我

53、要给你们展示两张人们在额头上写着E的 _- 这是我以前的学生，艾丽卡赫尓。 你们在这里看到的， 是正确的E。 我这样画E，所以其他人 就能把它认成E。 这就是“换位思考”的E，因为它是别人眼中的E。 但是这边的E则是“自我中心”的E。 我们时常会以自我为中心。 特别是在危机情况下更容易。 我希望和你们谈谈 一次特别的危机。 一个男人走进一家位于加利福尼亚州， 沃森维尔市的银行。 他说，“给我20xx美金， 要不我就炸了整个银行。” 而银行经理没有给他钱。 她退了一步。 她尝试站在他的角度， 她注意到了一件很重要的事情。 他要求的是具体数额的钱。 所以她说， “ _你需要20xx美金?” 男人说，“如果不能立即拿到20xx美金， 我的朋友就要被驱逐出境了。“ 然后经理说， “哦，那你不是要 _- 你是需要贷款。” “ _不跟我回到办公室， 我们就可以让你填好需要的文件。” 她的快速换位思考的 能力解除了一个危机形势。 当我们能够从他人的角度看问题时， 我们就会变得有抱负， 自信，但同时招人喜欢。 还有另一种能让我们既自信， 又能招人喜欢的办法， 那就是展现灵活性。 现在，想象自己是一名汽车销售员， 你要卖给别人一辆车。 如果你能给他们两种选择， 你更容易卖出车