专题12-2021年北京卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析

专题12-2021年北京卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析【试题再现】假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。你和英国好友Jim原定本周末一起外出，你因故不能赴约。请你用英文给他写一封电子邮件，内容包括：1.表达歉意并说明原因；2.提出建议并给出理由。注意：1.词数100左右；2.开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。DearJim,__________________________________________________________________________Yours,LiHua【试题解读】1.从内容上来说，本篇作文需要考生给出一个合理的“理由”以及“解决方案”。一般情况下，“受伤”这个理由是最容易被对方接受的。不过，在写作时，“伤”要合理，而且要尽量与之后的“解决方案”匹配。比如，如果你的“伤”是骨折，而给出的“解决方案”是下周再一起出去，那么显然就是不合理的。所以考生们在写作时，需要设计要点，让作文合情合理。2.从语言上来说，今年的这篇英语作文有较为严格的字数要求，要控制在100~120字之间。由于内容相对简单，所以考生在写作时，只要能保证不出现语法或拼写错误，就会有一个比较保险的分数。如果能在作文中写出一些漂亮的词汇或短语，如apology/makeupfor/besorryforanyinconveniencecaused等，分数就不会太低。除了内容和细节之外，考生还应该在作文中加入体现“交际感”的句子，如“Wouldyoumindif…?””Pleaseallowmetosaysorryagain.”“IamsorryIcannot…andItrustthatyouwillbeabletounderstand.“等。3.考生最后需要考虑的一个角度是结构。本篇作文符合应用文经典的三段式，首段交代写作背景，表达写作目的，次段指出未能赴约原因，尾段给出补救方案，表明理由，并再次表达歉意。要想让作文脱颖而出，考生还要关注连接成分的使用，如递进、因果等结构。总体来说，2021年高考北京卷英语作文相对比较简单，考生只要能平稳心态，考前按部就班的复习，那么顺利完成这篇作文，应该是比较容易的事情。【满分范文欣赏1】DearJim,Iamwritingtomakeasincereapologytoyou01thatIwillnotbeabletoattendthephotographicexhibition02whichisscheduledtotakeplace03thisSaturday.Idofeelbadaboutinformingyouonsuchashortnotice04,butIneedtohaveaphysicalcheckup05thisSaturdayafternoonandIalmostforgot.Tovisittheexhibition06,firstyouneedtotakethebusandthenchangesubwaylinestwice.Itiskindofcomplicated.Consideringthat07youhaveonlybeeninBeijingforaweekandarelikelyto08haveaproblemgettingaround,Icouldaskmycousin,whowasbornandbredinBeijing09,togowithyoutotheexhibitionvenue10.NotonlyishefamiliarwithBeijing,heisfluentinEnglishaswell11.Inotherwords,hecouldbeyourperfecttourguide.IfmycousinisnotavailableonSaturday,asalastresort12,wemightgotothephotographicexhibitionsomeothertime.Ihearthatitwillbeheldagainnextmonth.Anyway,Iamsorryagain13fornotbeingabletogowithyouthistime,butdonothesitateto14contactmeifIcanbeofanyfurtherhelp15.Yours,LiHua【范文解析】01.开门见山地说明写信的原因，makeasincereapology可看作besorry的升级版。02.photographicexhibition，摄影展。这样写显得较为具体，比party或show好一些。而且这两个词比较长，能充分体现考生的英语功底。03.可看作是whichwillbegin的升级版。04.informsomebodyonsuchashortnotice，临时通知某人，高级表达。05.haveaphysicalcheckup，体检。比爸妈生病了需要人照顾等理由好一些，不落俗套。06.状语提前，尽量用不同的结构作为一个句子的开头。07.分词结构，书面表达加分项。08.belikelyto，有可能。可作为下面might的替换版本，增加句法多样性。09.插入语，增加句法多样性；bornandbred押头韵，书面表达加分项。exhibitionvenue，展览的地点，高级表达。倒装句，书面表达加分项。asalastresort，万不得已，高级表达。再次道歉，体现诚意。donothesitateto，尽管，相当于feelfreeto，高级表达。beofanyfurtherhelp，可看作help的升级版。【满分范文欣赏2】DearJim,Howiseverythinggoing?WehaveplannedtogoforawalkinHaidianParkthisweekend,wherewecouldenjoythebeautifulsceneryofearlyspring.ButIamafraidIcouldn’tmakeit.Iwasseverelyinjuredinasoccergamelastnight.ThedoctorexaminedmecarefullyandtoldmethatIhadtostayinbedforatleastoneweek.IaskedhimwhethertherewasanypossibilitythatIcouldrecoverfaster,yettheanswerwasnegative.Myconditiondoesn’tallowmetogoanywhereuntilmylegsarefullyrecovered.ItisapityformetomissthistripthatIhavebeenlongingfor.Shallweputitoffuntilnextweekendiftheweatherpermits?Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yours,LiHua【满分范文欣赏3】DearJim,Iapologizefornotbeingabletogooutwithyouthisweekend.Igotdrenchedfromthepouringrainyesterdayandsubsequently,Icaughtaheavycold.ThedoctorsuggestedthatIstayinbedforthenextfewdays.Howaboutwegooutnextweekend?IheardthereisanewSichuan

restaurantopeningnextSaturday.

Whydon'twetryitout?Afterthat,wecangohikinginthenearbyhills.Icheckedtheweatherforecastandnextweekendwillhavefantasticweather.Iapologizeagainforhavingtocancelthisweekend'splanandIlookforwardtoseeingyounextSaturday.Yours,

LiHua【满分范文欣赏4】DearJim,Ihopethisemailfindsyouingoodhealthandspirit.IamwritingtoinformyouthatIwon'tbeabletoattendyourconcertthisweekend.Theschoolreleasedourexaminationscheduleanhourback,andIhaveamathstestonMonday.YouareawareofhowdeplorableIamatmaths.Iamsorryforcancelingatsuchshortnotice.Iwanttomakeituptoyou.WecantrythenewThaiplacenearyourofficenextweekend.Ifyouareavailable,Iwillbookatableforus.Yours,LiHua.【满分范文欣赏5】DearJim,Howiseverythinggoing?WehaveplannedtogoforawalkinHaidianParkthisweekend,wherewecouldenjoythebeautifulsceneryofearlyspring.ButIamafraidIcouldn’tmakeit.Iwasseverelyinjuredinasoccergamelastnight.ThedoctorexaminedmecarefullyandtoldmethatIhadtostayinbedforatleastoneweek.IaskedhimwhethertherewasanypossibilitythatIcouldrecoverfaster,yettheanswerwasnegative.Myconditiondoesn’tallowmetogoanywhereuntilmylegsarefullyrecovered.ItisapityformetomissthistripthatIhavebeenlongingfor.Shallweputitoffuntilnextweekendiftheweatherpermits?Lookingforwardtoyourreply.Yours,LiHua【满分范文欣赏6】DearJim,I’msorrytoinformyouthatIcan’tgooutwithyouthisweekend.I’vejustbeentoldthatIhavetogoandvisitmysickgrandfatherinthecountryside,whowassuddenlyadmittedtothehospital.Ihopethechangewon’tcauseyoutoomuchtrouble.HowaboutgoingoutnextSaturdaymorning?Ifit’sconvenientforyou,let’sm