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Alice
In
Wonderland
script
TheFirstAct
(AliceandAlice’sfatherenteronthestage)
Alice:I'm
falling
Down
a
dark
hole.
Then
I
see
strange
creatures.
Alice’s
father:What
kind
of
creatures?
Alice:There's
a
dodo
bird,
a
rabbit
in
a
waist
coat
and
a
smiling
cat
Alice’s
father:
I
did
not
know
cats
could
smile.
Alice:Neither
did
I.
And
there
is
a
blue
caterpillar.
Alice’sfather:A
blue
caterpillar?
Alice:Do
you
think
I've
gone
round
the
bend?
Alice:I'm
afraid
so.
You're
mad,
bonkers,
off
your
head
.But
I'll
tell
you
a
secret.
All
the
best
people
are.
It's
only
a
dream,
Alice,
nothing
can
harm
you
there.
But
if
you
get
too
frightened,
You
can
always
wake
up.
Like
this…
TheSecondAct
Thirteenyearslater
Alice:Must
we
go?
Alice’smother:Yes,we
must
.
Alice:Father
would
have
laughed.
I'm
sorry.
I'm
tired.
I
didn't
sleep
well
last
night.
Alice’smother:Did
you
have
bad
dreams
again?
Alice:Only
one.
It's
always
the
same,ever
since
I
can
remember
.Do
you
think
that's
normal?Don't
most
people
have
different
dreams?
Alice’smother:I
don't
know.
Hamish’smother:Alice,
Hamish
is
waiting
to
dance
with
you
.
Go.
Alice’smother:Sorry.
Hamish’smother:Oh!Letitpast.
(AlicedancewithHamish)
(Inthepavilion,inthefaceofall,HamishproposingtoAlice)
Hamish:Will
you
be
my
wife?Alice?
Alice:Well...Everyone
expects
me
to.And,
you're
a
Lord.My
face
won't
last
and
I
don't
want
to
end
up
like…But
this
is
happening
so
quickly,
I...
I
think
I
...
I
need
a
moment.
(Alicefollowedtherabbitcametoabigtree.shefellintoablackholebelowthetree,thebottomoftheblackholehasahall,surroundedbyalotofdoors.Attheend,shefoundatinydoor.Thenshesawasmallkeywaslyingonthetableandasmallbottleofliquidmedicine,bottlethatread:”drinkme”)
Alice:It’sonlyadream.
(MiniatureAliceopenedthetinydoor,intotheundergroundkingdom.Shesawmanykindsofstrangecreatures)
Alice:Thingsmoreandmorestrange.
(Tweedledee,Tweedledumandtherabbitenteronthestage)
Tweedledee:SheisAlice.
Tweedledum:SheisnotAlice.
Tweedledee:SheisAlice!
Tweedledum:She’snotrealAlice!
Alice:Whoareyou?
Tweedledee:Oh,
I'm
Tweedledee
and
he's
Tweedledum.
Tweedledum:Myfoot!I'm
Tweedledum
and
he's
Tweedledee.
Rabbit:Don’tmindthem!I‘lltakeyoutofindAbsolum.
Alice:WhoisAbsolum?
(WhentheymeetAbsolum)
Absolum:Whoareyou?
Alice:Absolum?
Absolum:YouarenotAbsolum,Iam.Theproblemisthatwhoyouare?
Alice:Alice.
(RabbittakeouttheOraculum)
Rabbit:ThisisOraculum.
Absolum:ShowhertheFrabjusDay.
Rabbit:Yes,Frabjus,beingthedayyouslaytheJabberwocky.
Alice:Sorry?Slaythewhat?
Rabbit:ThatbeingyoutherewiththeVorpalsword.NootherswordscankilltheJabberwocky.Nohow.Ifitain'tVorpal,ain'tdead
Absolum:Yougo,RedQueeniscoming.
TheThirdAct
(InRedQueen’spalace,RedQueenenteronthestage)
RedQueen:Someonehasstolenthreeofmytarts!DidYoustealthem?
GuardA:No,YourMajesty.
RedQueen:DidYou?
GuardB:No,YourMajesty.
RedQueen:DidYoustealthem?
GuardC:No,YourMajesty.
RedQueen:Didyoustealmytart?
GuardD:No,YourMajesty...
RedQueen:It'scranberryjuice.
GuardD:Iwassohungry!Ididn'tmeanto...
RedQueen:Offwithhishead!
GuardD:Myfamily!No,please,pleasedon't!Ihavelittleonestolookafter!Majesty!
RedQueen:Oh,littleJack!Wherehaveyoubeenlurking?
Jack:Majesty...IhavefoundtheOraculum.
RedQueen:That?LookssoordinaryforanOraculum.
Jack:Lookhere.FrabjusDay.
RedQueen:I'dknowthattangledmessofhairanywhere.IsitAlice?
Jack:Ibelieveitis.
RedQueen:WhatisshedoingwithmydarlingJabberwocky?
Jack:Sheappearstobeslatingit.
RedQueen:ShekilledmyJabberbabywocky?
Jack:Notyet.Butitwillhappenifwedon'tstopher.
RedQueen:FindAlice,Jack.Findher!
(JackwithagroupofsoldierstogolookingforAlice)
TheFourthAct
(AfterAliceescapedfromtheheavyhair,shecametoajunglebeast.ThenshemetChester.ChestertakesAlicetofindHatterandRabbit)
Chester:Whatdoyoucallyourself?
Alice:Alice.
Chester:TheAlice?
Alice:Therehasbeensomedebateaboutthat.
Chester:Inevergetinvolvedinpolitics.You'dbestbeonyourway.
Alice:Whatway?AllIwanttodoiswakeupfromthisdream.
Chester:Fine.I'lltakeyoutotheHareandtheHatter,butIcanonlydothat.
(Infrontofadesertedhut,Hatterisdrinkingtea.WhenhesawAlice,heisveryexcited)
Rabbit:IsitthewrongAlice?
Hatter:It'sabsolutelyAlice.You'reabsolutelyAlice.I'dknowyouanywhere.I'dknowhimanywhere!WemustconducttheFrabjusDay!
All:TheFrabjusDay!TheFrabjusDay!
Hatter:Have
you
any
idea
why
a
raven
is
like
a
writing
desk?
Rabbit&Chester:Down
with
the
Bloody
Big
Head!DownwiththeBloodyBigHead!
Alice:What?
Hatter:Bloody
Big
Head,
being
The
Red
Queen.
Chester:What’sthematterwithyou?Hatter,youusedtobeapistachionuts.Youusedtobethebestfordwigginsdancerhere.
Alice:What?Fordwiggins?
Hatter:Isakindofdance.OnthedayoftheFrabjusDay,whentheWhiteQueenwearingthecrownagain,Iwouldenjoydancingfordwiggins.
(Jackledsoldiersfoundhere)
Rabbit:Oh!TheRedQueenoneagain.
Hatter:Waitaminute.It’sbettertotakehertoseetheWhiteQueen.Shewouldbesafeoverthere.
(JackgrabbedHatter)
Alice:DamnyouRedQueen!Wherewilltheytakehimtogo?
Chester:ToRedQueen’spalace.
Alice:Wemustsavehim.
Chester:That’simpossble.
Alice:Idon’tcare.Ifnotforme,hewouldn’tbecaught.
Chester:Hey,what’sthis?
Rabbit:Ohmygod!It’sVorpalsword.Eventhegodishelpingus.TheFrabjusDayiscomingsoon,youmusttopreparetoconfronttheJabberwocky.Usethisswordtokillit,thenyoucansavehim.Let’sgo,I’lltakeyoutoWhiteQueen’spalace.
TheFifthAct
WhiteQueen:Welcome
to
Marmoreal.
Alice:I
believe
this
belongs
to
you.
WhiteQueen:The
Vorpal
sword
is
home
again.The
Armor
is
complete.Now
all
we
need
is
a
champion.
Come
with
me.
There's
someone
here
who'd
like
to
speak
with
you.
Alice:Absolem!
Absolum:Who
are
you?
Alice:I
thought
we'd
settled
this.
I'm
Alice,
but
not
that
one.
Absolum:How
do
you
know?
Alice:You've
said
so
yourself.
Absolum:I
said
you
were
not
hardly
Alice,
but
you're
much
more
her
now.
In
fact,
you're
almost
Alice.
Alice:Even
so,
I
couldn't
slay
the
Jabberwocky,
if
my
life
depended
on
it.
Absolum:It
will.
So
I
suggest
you
keep
the
Vorpal
Sword
on
hand
when
the
Frabjus
Day
arrives.
Alice:You
seem
so
real.
Sometimes
I
forget
that
this
is
all
a
dream.
Absolum:Alice,youcan’tlivetopleaseallpeople.Youhavetomakeyourowndecisions.Becausewhenyoustandagainstthewarcraft,youwillbealone.Atthattime,cryingisinvalid.
Alice:Don't
go.
I
need
your
help,
I
don't
know
what
to
do.
Absolum:I
can't
help
you
if
you
don't
even
know
who
you
are,
stupid
girl.
Alice:I'm
not
stupid!
My
name
is
Alice,
I
live
in
London.
I
have
a
mother
named
Helen
and
a
sister
named
Margaret.
My
father
was
Charles
Kingsley.
He
had
a
vision
thatstretched
around
theworld
and
nothing
ever
stopped
him.
I'm
his
daughter.
I'm
Alice
Kingsley.
Absolum:Thinkaboutit.Remember,theVorpalSwordknowswhatitwants.All
you
have
to
do,is
hold
on
to
it.
Farewell,
Alice.
Perhaps
I
will
see
you
in
another
life.
TheSixthAct
(RedQueenandWhiteQueenmeetonthebattlefield,AlicewillusetheVorpalSwordtokillstheJabberwocky)
WhiteQueen:Hello,
Iracebeth.
RedQueen:Hello
...
Mirana.
WhiteQueen:Iracy,
we
don't
have
to
fight.
RedQueen:I
know
what
you're
doing.
You
think
you
can
blink
those
pretty
little
eyes
and
I'll
melt,
justlikemommy
and
daddy
did.
WhiteQueen:Please.
RedQueen:No!
It's
my
crown!
I
am
the
eldest!
Jabberwocky!
Alice:
This
is
impossible.
Hatter:
Only
if
you
believe
it
is.
Alice:Sometimesbeforemybreakfast,Iwillthinkofasmanyassiximpossiblethings.
Hatter:Thatisagoodpractice.However,
just
at
the
moment,
you
really
might
want
to
focus
on
theJabberwocky.
RedQueen:Sowhere’syourwarrior?Sis.
WhiteQueen:Here.
RedQueen:Hello.
Jabberwocky:So
my
old
foe,we
meet
on
the
battlefield
once
again.
(AlicekilledJabberwocky)
RedQueen:The
Hatter
is
interfering
!Off
with
his
head!
Alice:Off
with
your
head!
RedQueen:Killher!
Soldier:Wewon’tlistentoyouanymore!
RedQueen:Offwithhishead!
(ThecrownbacktotheWhiteQueen)
WhiteQueen:Iracebeth,yoursinsareenoughtoletyoudie.Butitbreakmyoath.SoI’llbanishyoutotheborder.Noonewillbekindtoyou,noonewilltalktoyou.Youwillhavenofriendonthisworld.
Jack:HisMajesty.Ithinkyouwon’t...
WhiteQueen:Thereiso
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