读后续写-人间有真情之公交车上唱歌讲义-高三英语作文复习专项

读后续写原题目呈现：HenryCoultonsatonthebusandwatchedthemilesgopast.Hewasstillhundredsofmilesawayfromhisdestinationandfromthepersonwhoneededhim.Hiswife,Delia,wasinLosAngelesvisitinghermotherwhenshefellill.亨利·库尔顿（HenryCoulton）坐在公共汽车上，看着几英里过去。他离目的地和需要他的人还有数百英里。他的妻子Delia在洛杉矶看望生病的母亲。Atfirst,Deliajusttoldhimthatshehadastomachache.However,twodayslater,HenrybecameworriedbecausehenoticedthatDeliawaspalerandthinnerwhentheyZoomed.“Youneedtogotoseeadoctornow!”Henryinsisted.起初，迪丽娅只是告诉他她肚子疼。然而，两天后，亨利开始担心，因为他注意到当他们缩放时，迪丽娅脸色更苍白、更瘦了。“你现在需要去看医生！”亨利坚持说。

LaterDeliawenttothehospitalandwasinformedthattherewassomething

wrongwithherleftlung.WhenHenryheardthebadnews,hefeltshockedbecausehiswifeneversmoked.Althoughhedidn’tunderstandthemedicalterms,allherememberedwasthewords“asizeabletumor(肿瘤)”.后来，迪丽娅去了医院，被告知她的左肺出了问题。当亨利听到这个坏消息时，他感到震惊，因为他的妻子从不抽烟。虽然他不懂医学术语，但他只记得“一个相当大的肿瘤(肿瘤)”.Thedoctorsdidn’twanttowait.Thelongertheywaited,thehighertherisk.Theywereoperatingimmediately,soHenryleftforLosAngeleshurriedly.Heknewhewasn’tgoingtobetheretoholdDelia’shand,andthatwaswhatwashurtinghimthemost.Helookedoutofthewindowsotheotherpassengerswouldn’tseethetearspouringdownhischeeks.医生们不想等。他们等待的时间越长，风险就越高。他们立即开始行动，所以亨利匆匆前往洛杉矶。他知道他不会在那里握住迪丽娅的手，这是他最受伤的地方。他向窗外望去，这样其他乘客就不会看到眼泪顺着他的脸颊流下来。Suddenly,Henry’sphonerang.“Henry?"heheardDelia’svoice.“Baby,I'mgoingintotheORinalittlewhile,soIwanttohearyourvoice...”Henrysaid,“IwishIwerethere,holdingyourhand.”“Iwishyouwerehere,singingmyfavoritesong,Deliareplied.“ButIcansingitnowifyoulike...”“You’regoingtosingasongonthebus?”“Yes,Iam!”Henrytookadeepbreath.突然，亨利的响了。“亨利？”他听到了迪丽娅的声音。“宝贝，我一会儿就要进手术室了，所以我想听你的声音……”亨利说，“我希望我在那里，牵着你的手。”“我希望你在这里，唱我最喜欢的歌，”迪丽娅回答。“但如果你愿意，我现在可以唱了……”“你要在公共汽车上唱歌吗？”“是的，我在！”亨利深吸一口气。Thenhegottohisfeetandheldthephoneupsotheotherpassengerscouldseeit.“Ladiesandgentlemen,I'msorrytointerruptyourpeaceandquiet.Pleasebepatient.Mywife,Delia,isinthehospitalandshe’sabouttogointosurgery(手术),soI'mgoingtosingherfavoritesong."ThenHenrystartedsinging,“Whenyou’redownandtroubled,andyouneedsomeloving

care…然后他站起来，举起，让其他乘客看到。“女士们，先生们，很抱歉打断你们的平静。请耐心等待。我的妻子Delia正在医院，她即将接受手术。”(手术),所以我要唱她最喜欢的歌。然后亨利开始唱歌，“当你情绪低落，遇到麻烦，你需要一些关爱……”注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;城么2请按如下格式在相应位置作答。第一段：Hekeptsingingthroughthefirstline,andthenhehadahugesurprise!第二段：Fourhourslater，Henry'sphonerangagain.一、学生习作中的问题：

1.第一段结尾处没有与第二段开头“四小时后，再次响起”衔接上。就只写到唱完了歌曲。

2.Para1的“surprise”写的不合理。

写：passengerslistenedquietly.X

写：theysangtogether√

3.Para.2谁打来的？

写：Delia×不合理，刚做完手术很虚弱

写：doctor或者Delia’smother.√（前文有伏笔）

4.Para2写Deliawascured，写strangers’kindness可以curepeopleofdisease不合理，不科学。顶多是thesurgerywassuccessful.

5.“挂”不会表达

6.“一曲唱完”不会表达

7.语法错误：Hearingthenews,anxietygavewaytorelief.二、正确的思路：Para.1:Hekeptsingingthroughthefirstline,andthenhehadahugesurprise.

1.其他乘客跟着一起唱

2.Henry很感动，Delia受到鼓舞

3.一曲唱罢，Delia进手术室，Henry挂断回到座位上焦急等待手术结果（衔接）

（情感变化：惊讶感动紧张焦虑）

Para.2Fourhourslater,Henry’sphonerangagain.

1.忐忑不安/迫不及待地接了（衔接），得到消息：手术很成功。

2.Henry将好消息分享给车上的乘客

3.乘客们鼓掌和欢呼，向他表示祝贺

4.Henry向乘客们表达感谢并升华：爱和善意可以帮助人们渡过难关

(情感变化：忐忑紧张如释重负开心激动感恩）参考范文：Hekeptsingingthroughthefirstline,andthenhehadahugesurprise!

Allthepassengerssangthesongwithhimtogether,loudly.Henry

moved,atear

swam

intheeyeofhim.Whenthelastlinewasfinished.thepassengers

cheered

himup

withbright,quietsmiles.Ontheotherendofphone,hiswifeDeliasaidshefelthisloveandthepassengers'

encouragement,asifhewasholdingherhands,shewouldfacetheoperation

bravely.Aftersayingseeyoulatereachother,sherangoff.Fourhourslater,Henry'sphonerangagain.

He

grabbed

it,clickitand

covered

ittohisear.“Delia?"askedHenryina

trembling

voice.Receivingthenewsthateverythingwentwell,heputhisanxious

heart

backinthebelly.ThenHenry

gotthisfeettoexpresshis

appreciation

toallthepassengers.Afteringtohiswife'sward,heheldherhandstightlyallthetime.Alwayssangthesongstothelovereventhestrangers,whichisfortabletoeveryone.下水文：Para.1He:keptsingingthroughthefirstline,andthenhehadahugesurprise.Justlikeawellrehearsedchoir,theotherpassengersstartedsinging,too!Henrywaslaughingandcryingatthesametime.Heheldthephoneup,wantingDeliatohearthesinging.Whenthesongended,DeliawaswheeledintotheOR.Henrystoodupandshookhandswitheverypassenger.thankingthemfortheirsupport...Thenhedidthehardestthinganymaneverhadtotowaiting...Para.2Fourhourslater,Henry'sphonerangagain.Henryansweredthephoneanxiously.ltwashismotherinlaw.When(hewas)toldthatthesurgeryhadbeenasuccess,hefeltrelievedandsharedthegoodnewswithallthepassengers.ToHenry'ssurprisethepassengers