2021年广州一模读后续写试题讲义高考英语一轮复习

EnglishContinuationWriting读后续写2021年广州一模试题考情分析能基本读懂故事，对原文本分析不够具体到位。

写作情节偏离，逻辑混乱，衔接不恰当，句式简单，描写生硬。教学目标通过阅读圈，引导学生从主题语境，篇章结构，故事情节词汇处理等多角度去深度解析文本，帮助学生理顺情节发展，抓住人物核心性格，确保学生续写情节符合逻辑。通过主述位推进帮助学生搭建文章逻辑结构，解决学生无话可写的问题。通过提供语料，作文互批表，明确批改润色要求，反复练习，指导学生写出更自然合理衔接得当的作文。文本分析part1Brainstorm:Whatcanwelearnfromthestory?Brainstorm:Whatcanwelearnfromthestory?

Ittookplaceinateacher’sfamily.Oneday,Benwasplayingbasketballinthelivingroomafterschool,whenheaccidentallythrewtheballatavasesittingontheshelf.Thevasedroppedtothefloorandalargepiecebrokeoff.0101Asthemotherherselfdustedthevaseeveryday,shenaturallynoticedthecracksthatevening.Tohersurprise,therepairworkwasactuallyverygood.Atdinnertime,sheaskedherboyifhebrokethevase.Fearingpunishment,thesuddenlyinspiredboysaidthataneighbor’scatjumpedinfromthewindowandhecouldn’tdriveitawaynomatterhowhardhetried.Itracedaroundthelivingroomandfinallyknockedthevaseoffitsshelf.02Hismotherwasquiteclearthathersonwaslying,forallthewindowswereclosedbeforesheleftforworkeachmorningandopenedaftershereturned.However,inthefaceofherson’snervouseyesandthesuspiciouslooksoftheotherfamilymembers,Ben’smotherremainedcalm.Sherealizedsheshouldn’tjustsimplyblameandpunishhersonforlying.Shecameupwithanotheridea.02Beforegoingtobed,theboyfoundanotefromhismotherinhisroom,askinghimtogotothestudyatonce.Theboythoughthewouldnowbepunishedbut,ashehadalreadylied,hewasdeterminedtodenyeverythingtotheend,nomatterhowangryhismumbecame.03Inthestudy,calmlybathedinthelight,hismother’sfaceshowednosignofanger.Onseeinghersonpushopenthedoorandcautiouslyenter,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.04阅读小组长DiscussionLeader组织小组讨论，并针对阅读内容提问。篇章大师PassagePerson讲解阅读内容中有意思、重要或较难的段落。生活实际联结者Connector将阅读内容与生活实际相联系，分享经验。单词大师WordMaster讲解阅读内容中的生词、重点单词及词组。篇章概括者Summarizer用自己的话概括篇章的主要内容。文化采集者CultureCollector寻找阅读内容中与自己国家文化相同或不同之处。ReadingCircles单词大师WordMastervt.&vi拂，掸vt.撒(粉）于n.灰尘，尘土，尘埃dust单词大师WordMasterIusedafeatherdustertodustthetable.

我用鸡毛掸子把桌上的灰尘掸掉。Andyoucanalsodustatablewithaduster.

你也可以用抹布掸掉桌子。单词大师WordMastergluedthepiecestogether

hastily

急匆匆地把碎片粘合在一起calmlybathedinthelight灯光下的她很平静记叙文篇章大师PassagePersonInthestudy,calmlybathedinthelight,hismother’sfaceshowednosignofanger.Onseeinghersonpushopenthedoorandcautiouslyenter,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.一般过去时第三人称时态人称文体篇章大师PassagePersonInthestudy,calmlybathedinthelight,hismother’sfaceshowednosignofanger.Onseeinghersonpushopenthedoorandcautiouslyenter,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.动作描写:bathed,

pushopen,enter,took...outof,gave篇章大师PassagePersonInthestudy,calmlybathedinthelight,hismother’sfaceshowednosignofanger.Onseeinghersonpushopenthedoorandcautiouslyenter,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.隐含线索:

motherwilluseanotherwaytotalktoBen.篇章大师PassagePersonInthestudy,calmlybathedinthelight,hismother’sfaceshowednosignofanger.Onseeinghersonpushopenthedoorandcautiouslyenter,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.事件:

Ben听从妈妈的吩咐来到书房。亲情，母爱，成长人与社会阅读小组长（DiscussionLeader)人物分析情节发展主题语境主旨Rereadthestoryandfigureouttheplot.Benbrokethevasewhichwashismother’sfavoritepossession.(Ben)upsetBentoldmotherthataneighbor’scatknockedthevase.(Ben)

fearfulBen’smotheraskedBentothestudy(Ben)frightenedMomgaveBenachocolate.(Ben)

astonishedRelieved?本文情节线setting环境risingaction发展fallingaction遭遇挫折climax高潮人物时间地点Ben在家踢球时踢坏了珍贵的花瓶，匆忙之下黏合好了花瓶。妈妈发现了花瓶的裂缝，Ben告诉妈妈是邻居家的猫打碎了花瓶。当晚Ben发现妈妈让他去书房的纸条。本文情节线fallingaction(下落情节）妈妈拿出一块巧克力给Ben。resolution解决ending尾声续写部分续写部分本文情感线Resolution解决Benwasupset.Benwasfrigtened,anddeterminedtodenyeverything续写部分续写部分climax高潮beginning开头Ending尾声Bentheterrifiedboygluedthepiecestogetherhastilyandputthevasebacktoitsplace.ingeniousThemotherAsthemotherherselfdustedthevaseeveryday,shenaturallynoticedthecracksthatevening.Tohersurprise,therepairworkwasactuallyverygood.carefulThemotherinthefaceofherson’snervouseyesandthesuspiciouslooksoftheotherfamilymembers,shetookachocolateboxoutofadrawerandgavehimone.brilliantThemotherSherealizedsheshouldn’tjustsimplyblameandpunishhersonforlying.considerate生活实际联结者ConnectorWhatwouldyoudowhenyoumademistakesinyourlife?篇章概括者SummarizerBen打碎了妈妈的珍贵花瓶，他告诉妈妈这是猫的原因，妈妈猜到Ben撒谎后给他一张纸条叫他来书房，然后？Benbrokemother’spreciousvase.Hetoldhismotherthecatdestroyedit.MotherknewBentoldalieandleftanotetolethimgotothestudythisnight.Then...写作构架part2平行性延续性三种叙述模式2021年广州一模试题Paragraph2Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.Paragraph1Themothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”01gotmom’schocolateanddidn’tseehismom02gavethesecondoneasareward03gavethethirdoneandfeltsorrytoplacethevaseathomeParagraph1Themothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”PlotDesignParagraph1Themothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”Bentookthechocolateafterhavingheardthesewords,butdidn’tseehismother.Themotherpulledoutanotheronetohimforrepairingthevase.Benlookedatmother’ssecondbarandhismother,andhewasnotnervousasbefore.MotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandlookedatBen,“Thelastone.Iamsosorry.Ishouldn’tputavaseatthatplace,Iforgotmyboyiscrazyaboutbasketball.”交叉叙述0102030405The

mothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”

Bentookthechocolateafterhavingheardthesewords,butdidn'tseehismother.Themotherpulledoutanotheronetohimforrepairingthevase.Benlookedatmother'ssecondbarandhismother,andhewasnotnervousasbefore.MotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandlookedatBen,“Thelastone.Iamsosorry.Ishouldn’tputavaseatthatplace,Iforgotmyboyiscrazyaboutbasketball.”交叉叙述0102030405The

mothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”

Bentookthechocolateafterhavingheardthesewords,butdidn'tseehismother.Themotherpulledoutanotheronetohimforrepairingthevase.Benlookedatmother'ssecondbarandhismother,hewasnotnervousasbefore.MotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandlookedatBen,“Thelastone.Iamsosorry.Ishouldn’tputavaseatthatplace,Iforgotmyboyiscrazyaboutbasketball.”交叉叙述0102030405The

mothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”

Bentookthechocolateafterhavingheardthesewords,butdidn'tseehismother.Themotherpulledoutanotheronetohimforrepairingthevase.Benlookedatmother'ssecondbarandhismother,hewasnotnervousasbefore.MotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandlookedatBen,“Thelastone.Iamsosorry.Ishouldn’tputavaseatthatplace,Iforgotmyboyiscrazyaboutbasketball.”2021年广州一模试题Paragraph2Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.Paragraph1Themothersaid,“Thischocolateisarewardforyourimagination:awindow-openingcat!”01momleftthestudy02letthethreechocolatesasareminderwhenhewanttolie03neverforgetthemParagraph2Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.“But,Mum,I…”PlotDesignParagraph2Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.Benwhispered,“But,Mum,I…”Themotherstoppedhimandleftthestudy.Benputthethreechocolatebarsonthetablewherehecouldseethemeasily.Hesleptverywellthatnight.Hewillalwaysrememberthethreechocolateswhenhewantstolie.Benwillneverforgetthem！平行叙述01020304050607Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,

theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.Benwhispered,“But,Mum,I…”Themotherstoppedhimandleftthestudy.Benputthethreechocolatebarsonthetablewherehecouldseethemeasily.Hesleptverywellthatnight.Hewillalwaysrememberthethreechocolateswhenhewanttolie.Benwillneverforgetthem!平行叙述01020304050607Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,

theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.Benwhispered,“But,Mum,I…”Themotherstoppedhimandleftthestudy.Benputthethreechocolatebarsonthetablewherehecouldseethemeasily.Hesleptverywellthatnight.Hewillalwaysrememberthethreechocolateswhenhewanttolie.Benwillneverforgetthem!润色批改part3词汇润色说

say

以口发出声音utter大叫

yell

建议suggest回复

reply

解释reply低语whisper补充add同意agree承诺promise喃喃低语mutter一般动词细节动词词汇润色改变

change轻微改变alter调整

convert

缓和modify褪色

transform变白fade/whitening消失disappear发光shine

一般动词细节动词词汇润色放put放置lay立着放place陈列set/display定位

locate取fetch被乱扔toss用力投掷cast/fling一般动词细节动词词汇润色看

look(匆匆)一瞥glance偷窥peek

监视monitor眯眼看squint观察observe盯着看stare凝视gaze俯瞰overlook一般动词细节动词词汇润色吃惊(情绪)

AstonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscoldGlancingatthechocolateswithhesitation

awkwardly

utteredattemptingtomakesomethingclear情绪状态行为动作词汇润色害怕(情绪)

notdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s

timidlyraisedhisheadbeforehismotherone’steethchatter情绪状态身体表征词汇润色平静(情绪)thetensiononhisfacefadedalittlebitgaveasoftkissonhisforehead情绪状态身体表征词汇润色harshscold;timidlyraisedhishead

描写了Ben的害怕gentlyputtingherfingeronhislips;asoftkissonhisforehead描写母亲的温柔缺少形容丰富形容词汇润色reluctantlyreceivedskillfullyrestoreawkwardlyuttered副词单一状语多样状语词汇润色Obviouslybygently副词单一状语多样状语词汇润色Glancingatthechocolateswithhesitationnotdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s非谓语动词单一状语多样状语词汇润色

Astonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscold状语从句单一状语多样状语Paragraph1【1】Astonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscold,Benreluctantlyreceivedit,notdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s.Then,themotherpulledoutanotherchocolateandplaceditinhishandasapraiseforhisabilitytoskillfullyrestorethebrokenvase.【2】Glancingatthechocolateswithhesitation,theboytimidlyraisedhisheadbeforehismother.【3】Obviously,thetensiononhisfacefadedalittlebit.【4】“Now,”themotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandsoftlycontinued,“thelastchocolate.Iamsosorry,mylittlesweetheart.Ishouldn’thavelaidafragilevaseataninappropriateplace,especiallywhenthereisaboysoabsorbedinsports.”细节动作reluctantlyreceived/fixhiseyeson两个关于接收和看的细节描写。身体表征astonished/reluctantlyreceived/notdaringtofixhiseyeson描写出Ben的惊讶和迟疑情绪。多样状语形容词：harsh副词：reluctantlyParagraph1Astonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscold,Benreluctantlyreceivedit,notdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s.01细节动作glancingat,raised两个看的不同方式描写。身体表征glancingat,timidlyraisedhishead描写出Ben的小心翼翼。多样状语非谓语动词：glancingatGlancingatthechocolateswithhesitation,theboytimidlyraisedhisheadbeforehismother.02Paragraph1细节动作faded脸色变化的细节描述。身体表征obviously/

tension/

faded三个词描写出Ben的紧张担忧。多样状语副词：obviouslyObviously,thetensiononhisfacefadedalittlebit.03Paragraph1多样状语副词：

softly动词短语：

pickedout“Now,”themotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandsoftlycontinued,04Paragraph1Paragraph2Nowwithsomechocolatesinhand,theboy’sbadattitudedisappeared.“But,Mum,I…”【1】Benawkwardlyuttered,attemptingtomakesomethingclear.【2】Hismothersilencedhimbygentlyputtingherfingeronhislips,gaveasoftkissonhisforeheadandwalkedoutofthestudy.【3】Backintohisroom,Benplacedthethreechocolateswherehecouldseethemeasily.【4】Thatnight,Bensleptthesoundestsleep.【5】Fromthenon,thethreechocolatesrangthealarminhishearteverytimeheintendedtolie,remindinghimtobehonest.Maybepraiseisamuchbetteralternativetopunishmentwhenitinvolvesarebelliousteenageboy.Whatawiseteacherandmother!细节动作uttered

/attempting两个与说相关的具体动作。身体表征awkwardlyuttered

/

attemptingtomakesomethingclear描写出Ben紧张尴尬的情绪。多样状语副词/非谓语动词：awkwardly

状语从句：attemptingtomakesomethingclearParagraph2Benawkwardlyuttered,attemptingtomakesomethingclear.01细节动作silenced/puttingherfingeronhislips两个显示妈妈做法温柔的具体动作。身体表征putting...on

/

gaveasoftkisson/walkedoutofthestudy描写出妈妈的稳定的情绪。多样状语介词短语：bygentlyputtingherfingeronhislipsHismothersilencedhimbygentlyputtingherfingeronhislips,gaveasoftkissonhisforeheadandwalkedoutofthestudy.02Paragraph2细节动作placedBen慎重对待巧克力的具体动作。身体表征placedthethreechocolates描写出男孩恢复平静的情绪。多样状语介词状语：backintohisroom，状语从句：wherehecouldseethemeasilyParagraph2Backintohisroom,Benplacedthethreechocolateswherehecouldseethemeasily.03Thatnight,Bensleptthesoundestsleep.”04Paragraph1多样状语时间状语：thatnight身体表征形容词：soundest描写出男孩在安心之后终于能睡得很沉很香。多样状语介词短语：fromthenon非谓语动词：remindinghimtobehonest状语从句：everytimeheintendedtolieParagraph2Fromthenon,thethreechocolatesrangthealarminhishearteverytimeheintendedtolie,remindinghimtobehonest.05Paragraph1【1】Astonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscold,Benreluctantlyreceivedit,notdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s.Then,themotherpulledoutanotherchocolateandplaceditinhishandasapraiseforhisabilitytoskillfullyrestorethebrokenvase.【2】Glancingatthechocolateswithhesitation,theboytimidlyraisedhisheadbeforehismother.【3】Obviously,thetensiononhisfacefadedalittlebit.【4】“Now,”themotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandsoftlycontinued,“thelastchocolate.Iamsosorry,mylittlesweetheart.Ishouldn’thavelaidafragilevaseataninappropriateplace,especiallywhenthereisaboysoabsorbedinsports.”Astonishedashewasatherrewardinsteadofharshscold,Benreluctantlyreceivedit,notdaringtofixhiseyesonhismother’s.Glancingatthechocolateswithhesitation,theboytimidlyraisedhisheadbeforehismother.0102复杂句让步状语从句Paragraph1简单句非谓语作状语Obviously,thetensiononhisfacefadedalittlebit.

themotherpickedoutathirdchocolateandsoftlycontinued.0304简单句简单句Paragraph1Paragraph2Nowwithsomechocola