爷爷的礼物公开课

给爷爷的礼物目录

Contents解读续写文本抓伏笔自问式思路启发范文及下水作文小细节构建及可读性细节描写相似“礼物”类考题对比解读续写文本1AGIFTFORGRANDPASummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents'eagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwithgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandmawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedonhisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandmaybecouldn'tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔强地)，“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.Mumandgrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest.Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiers.Grandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs...HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!ButnowGrandpacouldn'tgetup.Thismadethemworried."We'dthinkoutawaytocheerhimup."Jacksaid."Grandpaisabirdlover,andwecancatchhimabird."Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!"Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack'smind."Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree!"记叙文5要素分析法Readformainidea故事的主题语境为“人与自我”中的“生活与学习”主题群，内容指向的是“个人、家庭、社区及学校生活”。故事中兄弟俩Jack和Berlin因要回到爷爷家而非常兴奋与激动，爷爷却因病不能站立而感到无望。兄弟俩回想起与爷爷一起在森林中玩耍的甜蜜时光而更加为此感到担忧，于是决定想办法让爷爷高兴起来，最终两人决定给爷爷做个拐杖当做礼物送给爷爷。AGIFTFORGRANDPASummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents'eagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwithgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandmawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedonhisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandmaybecouldn'tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔强地)，“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.Mumandgrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest.Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiers.Grandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs...

HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!

ButnowGrandpacouldn'tgetup.Thismadethemworried."We'dthinkout

awaytocheerhimup."Jacksaid."Grandpaisabirdlover,andwecancatchhimabird."Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!"Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack'smind."Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree!"ReadforconflictWhatistheproblemtobesolvedinthestory?Grandpa1.hishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandmaybecouldn'tstanduponhisownforever2.helpless3.Grandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔强地)，“Ican!”Grandsons1.HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom2.ThismadethemworriedVStothinkoutawaytocheerhimupPara1.....Howdidtheymakeacaneoutofayoungtree?Para2...WasGrandpacheeredup?ThisworriedthebrotherssotheydecidedtomakeacaneasagiftforGrandpatocheerhimup.JackandBerlinwereexcitedtovisittheirgrandparentsagainGrandpawaswildwithjoy,buthoplessbecausehishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandmaybecouldn'tstandupforever.

Readforplotandpredictthecontinuationwriting抓伏笔自问式思路启发201010203衔接句1.Whatdidtheydotosetaboutmakingacane?情节推进:Howdidtheycooperatewitheachotherduringtheprocess?衔接句2：Havingmadeacane,howdidtheyfeelandwheredidtheyhandittoGrandpa?ThenabrightideacametoJack'smind."Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree!"Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.0.5秒延迟符，无意义，可删除.JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.02010203衔接句3.HowdidGrandparespond?(feeling?words?action?)情节推进:WhatdidGrandpadowiththecane?结尾：DidtheysuccessfullycheerGrandpaup?JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.0.5秒延迟符，无意义，可删除.参考范文及下水作文3参考范文Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.TheysetaboutmakingacaneforGrandpaimmediately.Themomentthey

chose

ayoungtreeofmoderatesize,they

cutitdownandthenremovedthebranchesandskinswithaknife.Withasmallwoodfastenedonthetopasahandle,afashionablecanecameintobeing（with复合结构表伴随）.Tomakethehandlefeelcomfortable,theywrappedasoftclotharoundit.Berlin,fullofinnovativeideas,carved

（制作拐杖的动作链）wordsGiftToGrandpaonthecane.Whatacoolcane!JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.Staringatthefancycane,Grandpawassohappywithsmilesonhisfaceshininglikeadiamond（高兴的心理描写）.Hethankedhisgrandsonsforthewonderfulgiftwithaffection,"Youbrothersarereallygreatcreators!"Supportinghimselfwiththecane,Grandpacouldn'tcontainhimselfandwenttotheforeststepbystep.（拐杖发挥作用，爷爷来到森林）Watchingthetreesandgrassaround,heemotionallysaidhewouldforevercherishthefondmomentstheyweretogetherintheforest（场景复现，共同回忆甜蜜时刻）.下水作文：Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.(衔接句1)Withthetoolsfetchedfromthebakdyard,theyreturnedtotheforesttosearchforanapproriateyoungtreeforacane.（准备工作）情节发展：Hardlyhadtheyselectedonewhen

theygetstartedwiththeirBIGPROJET.（迫切的心情）Jack,theelderbrother,tookonthejobofcuttingitdown,whileBerlin,whowasyoungerandmorecreative,wasresponbilefordecoration.（分工合作）Hardasitmightseemtothem,theyneverfailedtomakeit.（困难但不放弃）Afterwhatseemedalongtime,anelegantandtoughcaneappeared.（成功）

（衔接句2）Bothofthemweremorethansatisfiedwiththeirworkandcouldn'twaittorushhome.(冲到家+递给爷爷)JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.下水作文：Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.(衔接句1)Withthetoolsfetchedfromthebakdyard,theyreturnedtotheforesttosearchforanapproriateyoungtreeforacane.（准备工作）情节发展：Hardlyhadtheyselectedonewhen

theygetstartedwiththeirBIGPROJET.（迫切的心情）Jack,theelderbrother,tookonthejobofcuttingitdown,whileBerlin,whowasyoungerandmorecreative,wasresponbilefordecoration.（分工合作）Hardasitmightseemtothem,theyneverfailedtomakeit.（困难但不放弃）Afterwhatseemedalongtime,anelegantandtoughcaneappeared.（成功）

（衔接句2）Bothofthemweremorethansatisfiedwiththeirworkandcouldn'twaittorushhome.(冲到家+递给爷爷)JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.（衔接句3）Theinstanthesawit,heknewwhatitwasallabout.（递+看到+知道一切）情节发展：Deeplytouchedbythegrandsons'gift,hetookitwithgreatexcitement（语言协同心理描写）andknockedonthegroundseveraltimes.（感动+激动+接过+试用）Obviously,heattemptedtostandupwithit.(拐杖应发挥作用+试图站立)Withtheencouragementofthetwobrothers,hestruggledtogetup,rootedonthegroundlikeadeterminedsoldier（鼓励+站立+修辞协同，比喻突出性格）.结尾句

：Acheerfulandjoyfulexpression（语言协同心理描写）,whichJackandBerlinhadexpectedoftheirGrandpa,flashedonhisface.（冲突解决）升华：Itwasatthatmomentthattheyliterallyfeltalltheeffortstomakethecanewereallworthit.相似“礼物”类考题对比4（2021新高考I卷）AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestorewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.Para1：Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.Para2：Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.

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