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优雅英语,优雅翻译--以霍译《红楼梦》语言特色为例上海外国语大学史志康Part

OneThe

Rendition

of

theVersesPart

One

The

Rendition

of

theVersesExample

1:

Original

version(Chapter

1)

然后携你到那昌明隆盛之邦、诗礼簪缨之

族,花柳繁华地,温

柔富贵乡去安身乐业。Translation

:After

that

I

shall

take

you

to

acertainBrilliantSuccessfulPoeticalCultivatedAristocraticElegantDelectableLuxuriousOpulentLocality

on

a

little

tripAppreciation

&

Comments

The

most

choice

and

pithy

adjectives

are

offerecoupled

with

only

one

word

“locality”

to

coveabout

four

Chinese

words“邦”“族”“地”

“乡”,which

looks

very

succinct.Part

One

The

Rendition

of

theVersesExample

2:Original

version

(Chapter

1)“太虚幻境:假作真时真即假,无为有处有还无。Translation

:THE

LAND

OF

ILLUSIONTruth

becomes

fiction

when

the

fiction’s

trueReal

becomes

not-real

where

the

unreal’s

realAppreciation

&

Comments

The

translation

not

only

shows

faithfulconveyance

of

the

meaning

of

the

original

versibut

also

demonstrates

the

linguistic

feature

orepetition

of

the

original

version,

with

therepetition

of

the

words

‘fiction’

‘real’‘become’

or

slanted

repetition

of

the

two

pai‘truth’

and

‘true’

and

‘not-real’

and‘unreal’.Part

One

The

Rendition

of

theVersesExample3:Original

version

(Chapter

1)世人都晓神仙好,惟有功名忘不了!古今将相在何方?荒冢一堆草没了.世人都晓神仙好,只有金银忘不了!终朝只恨聚无多,及到多时眼闭了.Translation:‘Men

all

know

that

salvationshould

be

won,But

with

ambition

won’t

have

donehave

done.Where

are

the

famous

ones

of

daysgone

by?In

grassy

graves

they

lie

now,

eveone.Men

all

know

that

salvation

shouldbe

won,But

with

their

riches

won’t

havedone,

have

done.Each

day

they

grumble

they’ve

notmade

enough.When

they’ve

enough,

it’sgoodnight

everyone!Part

One

The

Rendition

of

theVerses世人都晓神仙好,只有姣妻忘不了!君生日日说恩情,君死又随人去了.世人都晓神仙好,只有儿孙忘不了!痴心父母古来多,孝顺儿孙谁见了?

Men

all

know

that

salvationshould

be

won,

But

with

their

loving

wives

theywon’t

have

done.

The

darlings

every

day

protesttheir

love:

But

once

you’re

dead,

they’reoff

with

another

one.

Men

all

know

that

salvationshould

be

won,

But

with

their

children

won’thave

done,

have

done.

Yet

though

of

parents

fond

thereis

no

lack,

Of

grateful

children

saw

Ine’er

a

one.’Appreciation

&

Comments

a)Apparently

general

terms

are

used

to

translate

whichmore

specific.Here

are

two

illustrations:“the

famousof

days

gone

by”are

used

to

mean“古今将相”,and“their

riches”are

used

to

stand

for“金银”.

b)What

is

typical

of

the

Western

culture

is

used

to

meanwhat

is

typical

of

the

Chinese

culture.The

typical

exampis

to

translate”世人都晓神仙好”into“Men

all

knowthat

salvation

should

be

won”,in

which

the

word“salvation”is

likely

to

serve

as

a

reminder

of

Christi

c)

Some

figures

of

speech

are

employed.

For

instance,“grass

graves”

is

alliteration,

“it’s

goodnight”

ieuphemism.Part

One

The

Rendition

of

theVersesExample

4:Originalversion

(Chapter

2):这一日偶至郊外,意欲赏鉴那村野风光。信步至一山环水旋、茂林深竹之处,隐隐的有座庙宇,门巷倾颓,墙垣朽败,门前有额,题着"智通寺"三字,门旁又有一副旧破的对联云:身后有余忘缩手,眼前无路想回头Translation:

One

day

a

desire

to

savour

country

sights

and

sounds

le

outside

the

city

walls,

and

as

he

walked

along

with

no

fixed

destinati

mind,

he

presently

found

himself

in

a

place

ringed

with

hills

and

full

murmuring

brooks

and

tall

stands

of

bamboo

where

a

temple

stood

half-

hidden

among

the

trees.

The

walled

approach

to

the

gateway

had

fallen

and

parts

of

the

surrounding

wall

were

in

ruins.

A

board

above

the

gat

announced

the

temple’s

name:

THE

TEMPLE

OF

PERFECTKNOWLEDGE

while

two

cracked

and

worn

uprights

at

the

sides

of

thegate

were

inscribed

with

the

following

couplet:As

long

as

there

is

a

sufficiency

behind

you,

you

press

greedily

fIt

is

only

when

there

is

no

road

in

front

of

you

that

you

think

ofturning

back.Part

One

The

Rendition

of

theVersesExample

5:

Original

version:(Chapter

54)对酒当歌,人生几何Translation:Come

drink

with

me

and

sing,For

life’s

a

fleeting

thing.Full

many

a

day

has

fledLike

the

morning

dew…Part

TwoRendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsPart

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

6Original

version

(Chapter

2)

如今长了十来岁,虽然淘气异常但聪明乖觉,百个不及他一个;说起孩子话来也奇:他说:‘女儿是水做的骨肉,男子是泥做的骨肉,我见了女儿便清爽,见了男子便觉浊臭逼人!’你道好笑不好笑?Translation:

He’s

now

rising

ten

and

unusually

mischievous,

yet

hisis

as

sharp

as

a

needle.

You

wouldn’t

find

one

in

a

hundrto

match

him.

Some

of

the

childish

things

he

says

are

mostextraordinary.

He’ll

say,

“Girls

are

made

of

water

anboys

are

made

of

mud.

When

I

am

with

girls

I

feel

fresh

anclean,

but

when

I

am

with

boys

I

feel

stupid

and

nasty.’isn’t

that

priceless!Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

7Original

version

(Chapter

2)成则公侯败则贼Translation:

Zhang

victorious

is

a

hero,

Zhang

beaten

is

a

lousyknave?’Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

8Original

version

(Chapter

4)

便谓“女人无才便是德”,故生了此女不曾叫他十分认真读书。Translation:

He

founded

his

educational

policy

for

girls

on

thegood

old

maxim

a

stupid

woman

is

a

virtuousone’

and,

when

he

had

a

daughter

of

his

own,refused

to

let

her

engage

in

serious

study.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

9Original

version

(Chapter

4)

所以叫‘四家皆连络有亲,一损皆损,一荣皆荣。

Translation:

Those

four

families

are

all

closely

connected

witeach

other.

A

loss

for

one

is

a

loss

for

all.

A

gai

one

is

a

gain

for

all.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

10Original

version

(Chapter

4)

门子听了冷笑道:“老爷说的自是正理,但如今世上是行不去的!岂不闻古人说的‘大丈夫相时而动’,又说‘趋吉避凶者为君子’。Translation:

The

usher

smiled

coldly.

’What

Your

Honour

says

is

ndoubt

very

right

and

proper,

but

it

won’t

wash.

Not

tway

things

are

in

the

world

today!

Haven’t

you

heardthe

old

saying

“The

man

of

spirit

shapes

his

actionthe

passing

moment”?

and

there’s

another

oldsaying:“

It

is

the

mark

of

a

gentleman

to

avoid

whais

inauspicious”.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

11Original

version

(Chapter

54)

这小姐必是通文知礼,无所不晓,竟是‘绝代佳人’,--只见了一个清俊男人,不管是亲是友,便想起他的‘终身大事’来,父母也忘了,书也忘了,鬼不成鬼,贼不成贼,那一点儿像个

佳人?Translation:

They

are

always

amazingly

well-educated,

a

model

of

decorum,

aregular

paragon

of

all

the

virtues—that

is,

until

the

first

preyoung

comes

along.

As

soon

as

he

appears

on

the

scene—itdoesn’t

matter

who

or

what

he

is

–all

their

book-learning

andduty

they

owe

their

parents

fly

out

of

the

window

and

the

nextmoment

they

are

“making

their

plans

for

the

future”

andgenerally

carrying

on

in

a

way

that

would

bring

blushes

to

thcheek

of

a

cat-burglar—certainly

not

in

the

least

like

respeceducated

young

ladies.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

12Original

version

(Chapter

54)你们就这么大胆子小看他,可是鸡蛋往石头上碰!Translation:

So

just

what

makes

you

so

bold

against

her

I

do

notknow.

You

might

just

as

well

pelt

a

rock

with

eggsas

set

yourselves

up

against

her!”Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

13Original

version

(Chapter

54)平儿也悄悄的道:“罢了!好奶奶们,‘墙倒众人推’,那赵姨娘原来有些颠倒,‘着三不着两’,有了事就都赖他。Translation:

“Oh,

come

on

now!”

said

Patience,

still

speakinin

a

half-whisper.

’Everyone

likes

to

pusha

falwall.

We

all

know

that

Mrs.

Zhao

isn’t

the

mostsensible

of

mortals.

She

doesn’t

know

whethershe’s

comingor

going

half

the

time.

It’s

justtoo

easy

to

blame

it

all

on

her

when

things

go

wrongPart

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

14Original

version

(Chapter

54)

况且一个是美人灯儿,风吹吹就坏了;一个是拿定了主意,‘不干己事不张口,一问摇头三不知’,也难十分去问他。Translation;

And

in

any

case,

one

of

them’s

like

a

beautiful

picture-lantern:

you

feel

that

a

puff

of

wind

would

blow

her

out;the

other

is

so

determined

not

to

open

her

mouth

about

wdoesn’t

concern

her

that

a

shake

or

a

nod

or

an

“Idon’t

know”

is

about

all

you

can

ever

get

out

of

her

ayou

feel

but

awkward

about

asking

her

to

do

anything.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

15Original

version

(Chapter

80)正是俗话说得好,“清官难断家务事”Translation:

The

proverb

says

that

even

the

wisest

judge

willhesitate

to

pronounce

on

household

matters.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

16Original

version

(Chapter

80)

一面叫人:“去!快叫个人牙子来,多少卖几两

银子,拔去肉中刺,眼中钉,大家过太平日子!”Translation

She

turned

to

the

other

servants.

‘Quickly

now,

gand

get

the

dealer!

It

doesn’t

matter

what

we

sellher

for;

just

let’s

get

rid

of

this—this

thorn

i

flesh,

and

perhaps

we

shall

have

a

bit

of

peace

again

this

household!’Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

17Original

version

(Chapter

80)金桂意谓一不做,二不休,越发喊起来了Translation

Jin-gui,

thinking,

no

doubt,

that

having

gone

soshemight

as

well

go

all

the

way,

only

shouted

thelouder.Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

18Original

version

(Chapter

80)

王夫人道:“这也是没法儿的事。俗话说的:

‘嫁出去的女孩儿,泼出去的水。’叫我能怎么样呢?”Translation:

‘It’s

hard,

I

know,’

said

Lady

Wang.

‘But

asthey

say,

“marry

a

daughter,

throw

out

thewater”.

At

this

stage,

what

is

there

I

could

possdo?”Part

Two

Rendition

of

proverbs,

idiomsand

sayingsExample

19Original

version

(Chapter

80)你难道没听见人说’嫁鸡随鸡,嫁狗随狗’Translation:You

must

know

the

old

rhyme:When

rooster

crows

at

break

of

day,All

his

hen-folk

must

obey.Nochoice

for

a

dog’s

wife,But

to

makethe

best

of

a

dog’s

life.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsPart

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

20Original

version

(Chapter

1)

生的仪容不俗,眉目清秀,虽无十分姿色,却也有动人之处,雨村不觉看得呆了。Translation

She

was

an

unusually

good-looking

girl

with

arather

refined

face,

not

a

great

beauty,

by

anymeans,

but

with

something

striking

about

her.

Yucun

gazed

at

her

spellbound.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

21Original

version

(Chapter

1)

其中只不过几个异样女子,或情或痴,或小才微善,我纵然抄去,也算不得一种奇书。Translation

All

I

can

find

in

it,

in

fact,

are

a

number

of

femalconspicuous,

if

at

all,

only

for

their

passion

ororfor

some

trifling

talentor

insignificant

virEven

if

I

were

to

copy

all

this

out,

I

cannot

see

thwould

make

a

very

remarkable

book.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

22Original

version

(Chapter

1)

更可厌者,‘之乎者也’,非理即文,大不近情,自相矛盾Translation

‘what

makes

these

romances

even

more

detestableis

the

stilted,

bombastic

language—inanitiesdressed

in

pompous

rhetoric,

remote

alike

fromnature

and

common

sense

and

teeming

with

thegrossest

absurdities.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

23Original

version

(Chapter

1)消愁破闷Translation

A

more

effective

antidote

to

boredom

andmelancholyPart

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

24Original

version

(Chapter

2)古人有言:‘百足之虫,死而不僵’。Translation

The

old

saying,

Thebeast

with

a

hundred

legs

ia

long

time

dying”?Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

25Original

version

(Chapter

3

)

见雨村相貌魁伟,言谈不俗,且这贾政最喜的是读书人,礼贤下士,拯溺救危,大有祖风。Translation:

Yu-cun’s

imposing

looks

and

cultivated

speechmade

an

excellent

impression

on

Jia

Zheng,

who

wasin

any

case

always

well-disposed

towards

scholarsand

preserved

much

of

his

grandfather’s

affabiliwith

men

of

letters

and

readiness

to

help

them

inany

sort

of

trouble

or

distress.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

26Original

version

(Chapter

3

)

雨村笑道:“你也算贫贱之交了;此系私室,但坐不妨。”Translation

‘Come,’

said

Yu-cun,

as

a

friend

of

my

early,hard-up

days

you

are

entitled

to.

After

all,

thisprivate

room.

Why

not?’Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

27Original

version

(Chapter

3

)

自薛蟠父亲死后,各省中所有的卖买承局、总管、伙计人等,见薛蟠年轻不诸世事,便趁时拐骗起来,京都几处生意,渐亦销耗。Translation

This

circumstance,

coupled

with

the

fact

that,

since

theof

his

father,

the

managers,

clerks,

and

factors

of

the

fbusiness

in

its

various

agencies

throughout

the

provinceprofited

from

Xue

Pan’s

youth

and

ignorance

of

affairfeather

their

own

nests

at

the

then

firm’s

expense,

andthe

family

‘s

enterprises

in

the

capital,

of

which

thereseveral,

had

shown

a

gradual

falling-off.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

28Original

version

(Chapter

54

)

或紧或慢,或如残漏之滴,或如迸豆之急,或如惊马之驰。Translation

Sometimes

it

would

be

as

slow

as

the

last

dripsofwater-clock,

sometimes

asfastastherattleofdbeans

poured

froma

bag,

sometimes

it

would

gogalloping

along

like

a

runaway

horse.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

29Original

version

(Chapter

80)

只因薛蟠是天性“得陇望蜀”的,如今娶了金桂,又见金桂的丫头宝蟾有三分姿色,举止轻浮可爱,便时常要茶要水的,故意撩逗他。Translation

Xue

pan

was

in

some

respects

like

the

general

of

old

inwhom

‘conquest

did

but

breed

appetite

for

furtherconquest’,

for

when,

after

his

marriage

to

Jin-gui,

hediscovered

that

she

had

an

attractive,

rather

coquettishcalled

Moonbeam,

he

was

continually

calling

to

her

bringthings—cups

of

tea

and

the

like—so

as

to

have

an

opportof

flirting

with

her.Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

30Original

version

(Chapter

80)

金桂道:“要做什么和我说,别偷偷摸摸的,不中用。“Translation

‘If

you

want

to

do

something,

why

don’t

you

tellme?”

she

said.’

All

this

groping

in

corners

wilget

you

nowhere.’Part

Three

Rendition

of

four-characterproverbsExample

31Original

version

(Chapter

80)

至午后,金桂故意出去,让个空儿与他二人,薛蟠便拉拉扯扯的起来。宝蟾心里也知八九了,也就半推半就。Translation

A

little

after

midday

Jin-gui

rather

pointedly

wein

order

to

leave

the

coast

clear.

Xue

Pan

lost

no

tin

setting

to

work

on

Moonbeam,

who,

since

she

nowhad

a

pretty

good

idea

of

her

mistress’s

intentioput

uponly

a

token

resistance

to

his

advances.Part

FourRendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

32Original

version

(Chapter80)

金桂冷笑道:“两个人的腔调儿都够使的了。别打量谁是傻子!“薛蟠低头微笑不语。宝蟾红了脸出去了。TranslationJin-gui

hooted

at

them

contemptuously.‘You

two

really

are

a

comedy!

You

must

think

I

aman

idiot’.Xue

pan

hung

his

head

and

laughed

sheepishly

andMoonbeam

fled

blushing

from

the

room.PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

33Original

version

(Chapter80)

宝钗笑道:“咱们家只知买人,并不知卖人之说,妈妈可是气糊涂了。倘或叫人听见,岂不笑话?哥哥嫂子嫌他不好,留着我使唤,我正也没人呢。Translation

Bao-chai

smilingly

expostulated.

‘People

like

us

donsell

servants,

Mamma,

we

only

buy

them.

I

think

anger

isinterfering

with

your

judgment.

What

would

people

thinkthey

heard

that

we

were

planning

to

sell

a

servant?

Theywould

laugh

us

to

scorn.

If

Pan

and

his

wife

are

dissatisfwith

Caltrop,

let

her

stay

here

and

work

for

me.

I

could

dwith

another

maid.’PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

34Original

version

(Chapter80)说着,宝玉焙茗都大笑不止。TranslationThis

set

Bao-yu

and

Tealeaf

off

into

fits

of

laughPartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

35Original

version

(Chapter80)

王夫人把宝玉的言语笑述了一遍。贾政也忍不住的笑。Translation

Lady

Wang

gave

a

humorous

account

of

her

earlymorning

interview

with

Bao-yu

and

of

his

‘brilliaplan’,

which

despite

himself

Jia

Zheng

foundrather

amusing.PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

36

Original

version

(Chapter80)说着,又向小红笑道:“好孩子,难为你说的齐全,不像他们扭扭捏捏蚊子似的。--嫂子不知道,如今除了我随手使的这几个丫头老婆之外,我就怕和别人说话:他们必定把一句话拉长了,作两三截儿,咬文嚼字,拿着腔儿,哼哼唧唧的,急的我冒火,他们那里知道?

Translation:

She

smiled

graciously

at

Crimson.’You’re

a

clgirl,my

dear,to

have

got

it

all

right—not

like

the

simpering

lininnies

I

usually

have

to

put

up

with.

You

have

no

idea,

cousin,she

said,

turning

to

Li

Wan

again.

‘Apart

from

the

one

or

two

giand

one

or

two

older

women

that

I

always

keep

about

me,

I

justdread

talking

to

servants

nowadays.

They

take

such

an

interminatime

to

tell

you

anything—so

long-winded!

And

the

airs

and

gracthey

give

themselves!

And

the

simpering!

And

the

um-ing

and

ah-ing!

If

they

only

knew

how

it

makes

me

fume!PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

37Original

version

(Chapter80)迎春方哭哭啼啼,在王夫人房中诉委屈。Translation

Ying-chun

meanwhile

was

in

Lady

Wang’s

roomgiving

her

and

cousins

a

tearful

account

of

hermatrimonial

troubles.PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

38Original

version

(Chapter80)刚进了门,便放声大哭起来。Translation

The

instant

he

entered

the

door,

he

let

out

a

greatwail

and

burst

into

tears.PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

39Original

version

(Chapter80)

宝玉低着头,伏在桌子上,呜呜咽咽,哭得说不出话来。Translation

Bao-yu,

however,

was

already

slumped

over

the

tabsobbing

his

heart

out

and

far

too

distraught

toreply

to

her

questions.PartFour Rendition

of

“xiao”

and“ku”Example

40Original

version

(Chapter80)

那时黛玉耳内听了这话,眼内见了这光景,心内不觉灰了大半,也不觉滴下泪来,低头不语。Translation

The

palpable

evidence

of

her

own

eyes

and

ears

hadby

now

wrought

a

considerable

softening

on

Dai-yu’s

heart.

A

sympathetic

tear

stole

down

herown

cheek,

and

she

hung

her

head

and

said

nothing.Part

FiveRendition

of

vernacular

wordsand

expressionsPartFive

Rendition

of

vernacular

wordsand

expressionsExample

41Original

version

(Chapter

1)渐渐地露出了那下世的光景来TranslationTo

betray

the

unmistakable

symptomsof

a

declinPartFive

Rendition

of

vernacular

wordsand

expressionsExample

42Original

version

(Chapter

2)如今外面的架子虽没很倒,内囊却也尽上来了。Translation

Consequently,

though

outwardly

they

still

managto

keep

up

appearances,

inwardly

they

arebeginning

to

feel

the

pinch.PartFive

Rendition

of

vernacular

wordsand

expressionsExample

43Original

version

(Chapter

54)

贾母笑道:“并没有新鲜招笑儿的,少不得老脸皮厚的说一个罢。”Translation

‘I

don’t

know

any

good

new

ones,’

saidGrandmother

Jia.

‘I’ll

just

have

to

put

a

boldface

on

it

and

do

the

best

I

can.PartFive

Rendition

of

vernacular

wordsand

expressionsExample

44Original

version

(Chapter

54)

赵姨娘道:“你们请坐下,听我说。我这屋里熬油似的熬了这么大年纪。”Translation

‘Sit

down

both

of

you,

and

listen

to

me.

I’vegiven

thebest

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