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高考读后续写|亲情类阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn'thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofthescolding(责骂)
fromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,
watchingthemiddleagedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighed
(叹气)
andhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestand(摊位)
noticedtheyounggirlandasked,"Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?""Oh,yes...butIdon'thavemoneyonme,"shereplied.“That'snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,"saidtheman."
ein."Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,
Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?"
askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!"
saidJenny."
Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.
Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomerciless(残忍的)
paredtoastranger!"Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,"Girl,
doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitude(感激)toher?"Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother'sfamiliarfaceandweathered(饱经风霜的)
hands."
WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme."Onthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1:Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Paragraph2:Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.故事解读:Jenny和她母亲大吵一架之后,生气出走,在路上闲荡,饥饿难耐地看着路边的小贩做着面条生意,因为没钱只能叹息离开,善良的小贩却叫住了她并免费请Jenny吃了碗面条,Jenny甚是感动,觉得陌生人都对自己这么好,而自己的母亲却是经常斥责她。小贩点醒了Jenny,是她自己的母亲每天都在为她做饭,是她自己的母亲抚养她长大,却从未向母亲表示过感激之情,Jenny倍感羞愧,决心为自己的态度向母亲道歉。内容上:大部分同学能做到情节设定合理,符合故事发展的逻辑顺序。亮点内容有,在续写第一段写到Jenny回到家中,看到桌上放着母亲已经做好的一碗面条;补充了Jenny和母亲争吵的原因。在第二段Jenny为表示感激之情,为母亲下了一碗面条,最后情感升华。而个别同学存在的问题,第一段结尾和第二段段首衔接不上,Jenny思绪既没飘走,母亲也出现在了第一段中,这样的情节设置稍有不当,且篇幅有限,不好创设新的情境。写作思路:
梳理人物情节情绪时,引导学生关注Jenny从“生气”到“羞愧”的变化,使之理解母爱的真正含义,推知故事主题(understandingmother’slove)和写作目的(improvingtherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildren),进而推断故事结局。
通过问题帮助学生搭建第一段写作思路。例如:
(1)WhatwouldJennydonext?
(2)WhydidJennytakeadeepbreath?
(3)WhatdidJennythinkinhermind?
问题(1)(2)主要根据第一段提示句进行推断,问题(3)根据第二段提示句推导Jenny的思绪,三个问题为学生搭建续写第一段结构框架即内容要点——knockedatoropenedthedoor/whatshesaw/whatshethought。范文一Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.
Notknowingwhat
wouldhappennext,Jenny,gatheringhercourage,pushedthedoor
open,
onlytofindtherewasnobodyhome.Anxietybegantocreepuponher."WhereismyMom?Isshestillstillangrywithme?",Jennycouldn'thelp
thinkingaboutallthese.Havingwanderedoutsideforawholeday,Jenny
feltabittired.Sittingonthesofa,shebegantoshedtearsofregret,lostin
deepthought.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
Raisingherhead,Jenny
foundhermotherstandingbehindher."Mom,Iamsorry.Ishouldn'thave
beensorudetoyou.Iknowfullywellallthatyoudidwasforme."Jenny
said,withtearsalreadyfallingdownhercheeks."It'sfinethatyouareback!I
havebeenlookingforyoueverywhere."mothersaid.Deeplymoved,Jenny
threwherselfathermotherandtheyhuggedtightly.Itwasnotuntilthat
momentthatJennyrealizedthatwhateverhappened,hermotherwould
alwaysbethereforher!范文二Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Whenshepushedthedooropenandenteredthehouse,shefoundhermotherwasnotin.Tiredandsad,shesankdownontothesofa.“Wherecouldmymotherbe?”shewondered.“Wasshestillangrywithme?”Again,thesceneofthequarrelappearedinhermind.Sherememberedherrudenesstohermother.Realizingthatallthescoldingfromhermotherwasduetothefactthathermotherreallycaredalotabouther,sheratherfeltashamed,andtearsbegantorolldownhercheeks.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
sheraisedherheadandsawthefamiliarfaceofhermother.“Hereyoue!I'vebeenlookingforyou.”shesaid,tiredandrelieved.Jennycouldn'thelpthrowingherselfintohermother'sarms.“Mum,I'msosorryandthankyouforallyouhavedoneforme.”Sheexpressedhersincereapologyandgreatgratitude.Hearingthis,hermothersmiled,pattingherbackgently.
范文三Approachingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.
Withpalmssweatingandthroattightening,sheopenedthedooratlast.“Mom,”shesaidweakly.However,nobodyanswered.Shecouldn’tfindhermotheranywhereathome.Whathermotherdidforhersprangupinhermind,likecookingforher,washingherclothesandsoon.Heartbeatingpainfullyandbangingagainstherribs,shewasstruckdeadwithregretduetotakingMother’sloveforgrantedandforgettingtoconveytimelygratitude.Theideathatit’snevertoolatetomakeasincereapologyhither.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
Raisingherheadup,Jennycaughtsightofafamiliarface.Itwasherbelovedmotherthatlookeddirectlyintohereyeswitharadiantsmile.Urgedbytheforcetorightthewrong,shespokeupwithafirmtone,“Mom,I’mdeeplysorryformyrudeness.Itwon’thappenagain!Ipromise!Wouldyouforgiveme?”Shecouldfeeltearswellingupinhereyes.“Youarealwaysmylittlegirl!”MomeyedJennytenderly.Asthesettingsuncastagoldenglowonbothoftheirfaces,theyembracedeachothertightly.Andthen,handinhand,theysteppedintothehouse.范文四Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Notknowingwhatwouldhappennext,Jenny,gatheringhercourage,pushedthedooropen,onlytofindtherewasnobodyhome.Anxietybegantocreepuponher"WhereismyMom?Isshestillstillangrywithme?",Jennycouldn'thelpthinkingaboutallthese.
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