书面表达公开课

书面表达评析及指导高二理科英语组：LiYanHowtowriteanexcellentcomposition词汇,句型（高级）和语法多样化（较复杂）

1.覆盖了所有的要点

2.应用了较多的语法结构和词汇

3.有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑

4.语言得体要点全连接词如何算是一篇好文章？语言地道，规范假定你是李华,你的英国朋友Peter来信询问你的英语学习情况并希望你简单介绍自己家乡，请你根据下列要点写回信。要点:

1.我学英语已经六年了，在老师和同学们的帮助下取得了一些进步；2.但是总觉得英语难学，尤其是英语中的一些习惯用法；3.今后一定要努力学习这门有用的外语，争取能用流利的英语和你写信；4.我的家乡发生很大的变化，盖起了许多高楼，拓宽了道路，变得越来越漂亮和现代化；5.如果有时间可以到中国来，我会带领你参观我的家乡。注意：

1.词数100左右；

2.可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；

3.开头语已为你写好。

June8,2008

DearPeter,

I'mverygladtoreceiveyourletter.IwilltellyousomethingaboutmyEnglishstudyandhometown.………….字数不够或未能传达读者任何信息，不得分。

samplesofstudentwork(学生习作）Badsample卷面不整洁，涂改较多，语言错误多，层次不清，得8分。learnoftheteachersandmyprogressreadandwriteithardtolearnhardwork.writelettersinfluentEnglishfoundhadbecomeWelcometoChinaifyouhavetimeshowyouaround语言素质较好;基本功不差;语句仍有毛病；得16分.readandwritefindithard

fluentEnglishtowriteGreatchanges

roads

hadtakenplaceinmyhometownbuildingswidenedItwillbewonderfulwhen

youcometoChinaifyouarefreeshowyouaroundIwillbegladto语言不地道,中文式思维,语言错误较多，得分19分.影响书面表达得分的因素：“大错误”包括时态错误、句子结构错误、中式英语等，如：Myhometownhadbigchange,buildmanyhouses,……Myhometownhasgreatchanges.

◆一、语言表达出现“大错误”及“小错误”

→Greatchangeshadtakenplaceinmyhometownthere.Forexample,manynewhouseshadbeenbuiltandroadshadbeenwidened.3.IfyougettoChinathathavetime,mewithyoulookmyhometown.

4.Iwillwelcometoyou.

“小错误”主要是反应在个别单词拼写错误、冠词介词使用不准确等方面,如：

Undermyteacherandclassmatesallhelptome,…….

→Ihopeyou’llgetachancetocometoChinaandI’llshowyouaroundmyhometownifyouarefree.→WelcometoChina.→Withthehelpofmyteachersandclassmates,……◆二、没有使用高级词汇和复杂句1.Iwillvisitmyhometownwithyou.2.Ifyouhavetime,Iwilltakeyoutotravelaroundmyhometown.→Iwillshowyouaroundmyhometownifyouarefree.◆三、字体的工整、规范，卷面的干净、整洁，是作文得高分的必备条件之一。卷面不整洁，乱涂乱画,字体书写潦草、难以辨认，得分会很低哟！◆四、审题不认真，要点有所遗漏1.彻底理解题意，看准答题要求（包括字数要求）。2.把内容要点在草稿纸上列成提纲。3.连词成句，连句成文。4.成文后认真检查，确信无一遗漏。注意：★完全完成了试题规定的任务，完全达到了预期的写作目的。覆盖所有内容要点。

★

应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。

★

语法结构和词汇方面有些错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。

★有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。我们的目标：追求卓越永无止境

书面表达评分最高标准（第五档21---25分）Onepossibleversion:

June8,2008

DearPeter,

I'mverygladtoreceiveyourletter.IwilltellyousomethingaboutmyEnglishstudyandhometown.

ItissixyearssinceIbegantolearnEnglish.Withthehelpofmyteachersandclassmates,IhavemadesomeprogressinEnglish.HoweverIstillfindEnglishhardtolearn,suchassomedifficultidiomswhichmademeconfused.Nomatterhowharditis,Ihavemadeupmymindtomasterthisusefullanguagebymyhardwork.

NotlongagoIreturnedtomyhometownandfoundgreatchangeshadtakenplacethere.Manynewhouseshadbeenbuiltandroadshadbeenwidened.Myhometownisgettingmodernandmoreandmorebeautiful.IhopeifyouhaveachancetocometoChinaandI’llshowyouaroundmyhometownwhenyouareonleave.

Bestwishes,

LiHua

TIPS：Sixstepsforwriting(写作六步骤）

1.

Cross-question(审题)※

Mainidea※Style※

Verbtense※Person2.Seizethemajorpoints/keywords(抓要点)3.Arrangement(布局)

！4.Sentencesconnection(连句)Words/phrasesSentences6.

Errorcorrecting(查错改错)5.Expressyouropinion

(发表观点）Conjunctions/conjunctiveadverbssentencespassage

技巧1.使用较高级的词汇3.使用恰当的连接词词汇反映你知识贮存量的多少，也是衡量英语水平的一个重要标志。运用得当的句子结构可以给文章增色不少，从而使整篇文章因此而生辉。使用恰当连接词，对写一篇有“英语味”的文章很重要，能使文章上下衔接自然、紧凑。增强书面表达效果的技巧2.使用较丰富的句式1.Becausetheweatherwasgood,ourjourneywascomfortable.(幸亏…)2.Weallthinkheisagreatman.（评价很高）3.SuddenlyIthoughtoutagoodidea.（occur）

Thankstothegoodweather,

ourjourneywascomfortable.I.怎样使用较高级的词汇Weallthinkhighlyofhim.Agoodideaoccurredtome./Agoodideasuddenlystruckme.4.ShewenttoAustraliainordertostudymusic.

（purpose）5.Whenhespoke,hefeltmoreandmoreexcited.（the比较级，the比较级）ShewenttoAustralia

forthepurposeofstudyingmusic.Themorehespoke,themoreexcitedhefelt.II.英语写作中的句式选择,要结合平时练习和所学短语及语法运用，使其更加丰富。利用不同的句型来表达同一个意思，能增加文章的文采。一、改变时态eg:Thebellisringingnow.一般

Theregoesthebell.

特殊二、改变语态eg:Peoplesuggestthatthemeetingbeputoff.一般

Itissuggestedthatthemeeting

beputoff.特殊

三、使用过去分词eg:1、Shewalkedoutofthelabandmanystudentsfollowedher.一般

Followedbymanystudents,shewalkedoutofthelab.特殊2、Onceitisseen,itcanneverbeforgotten.一般

Onceseen,itcanneverbeforgotten.特殊四、使用v-ing1、Whenhearrives，pleasegivemeane-mail．一般

Onarriving/hisarrival,pleasegivemeane-mail.特殊2、Iftheweatherpermits,Iwillcometomorrow.一般

Iwillcometomorrow,weatherpermitting.特殊五、使用名词性从句1、Itdisappointedeverybodythathedidn’tturnup.一般

Thefactthathedidn’tturnup

disappointedeverybody.特殊2、Tohissurprise,thelittlegirlknowssomanythings.一般

Whatsurpriseshimisthatthelittlegirlknowssomanythings.特殊

六、使用定语从句

Eg:Thegirlisspokenhighlyof.Hercompositionwaswellwritten.一般

Thegirlwhosecompositionwaswellwrittenisspokenhighlyof.特殊七、使用状语从句

1、Iwon‘tbelievewhathesays.一般

Nomatterwhathesays,Iwon‘tbelieve.特殊

2、Ifyoucomebackbeforesixo'clock,youcangoout.一般

Youcangooutonconditionthatyoucomebackbeforesixo'clock.特殊

八、使用虚拟语气

Theshipdidn'tsinkwithallonboardbecausethereweretheeffortsofthecaptain.一般

Butfortheeffortsofthecaptain,theshipwouldhavesunkwithallonboard.特殊九、使用倒装句型

Thoughheisachild,heknowsalot.一般

Childas\thoughheis,heknowsalot.特殊

III.常用的连接词1.

表示递进，在同一话题上补充内容。

另外，还有：2.表示转折关系，“但是，然而，相反”。

what’smore;besides;also;moreover;inaddition；furthermore

but;however;onthecontrary

;though;although;

yet;instead;despite;inspiteof.3.表示因果关系，

因为，因此，所以:4.表示条件关系

如果，只要:

除非:

否则:since;as;because(of);so;thus;therefore;asaresult;onaccountof;consequently.if;oncondition(that);aslongasunless

orelse

5.表示时间关系当…的时候

:

when;while

在…之后:

after

在…之前:

before

直到:

until

直到…才…:

not……until……

一…就…:

assoonas，hardly...when…

后来，然后:

later;

afterwards

不久:

soon

近来:

lately;

recently

自从…:since

从那时起:

fromthenon6.表示特定的顺序关系

首先:firstly

最主要的:

aboveall

其次:

secondly

然后:

then;next

最后:

finally;intheend7.换一种方法表述

换句话说:

inotherwords;thatistosay;

8.进行举例说明

例如，比如:9.用于陈述事实

forinstance;forexample;like;suchas,namely,andsoon,

实际上:

infact;actually;asamatteroffact跟你说实话:

totellyouthetruth10.

对一个话题进行总结

总而言之，总的来说,综上所述

onthewhole;inshort;allinall;inaword,inbrief，inconclusion.

联合国教科文组织某考察团正在我国某乡村参观考察。假定你是接待人员,请根据下列提示以发言稿的形式简要介绍这个村的情况：1)大小：近100户人家，约500口人。2)变化：过去很穷，78年后变化很大。人们生活比以前好多了。现已旧貌换新颜。3)教育：原来的学校很小，现已经过改建。新建的教学楼有4层，是村里最美的建筑物。村所有学龄儿童在此免费就读。注意：1）要点齐全，前后连贯。

2）词数：100-120之间。PracticeLadiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool.Thisvillageisverysmall.Ithasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.Ithaschangedalotsince1978.Peopleherearericherthanbefore.Nowitistakingonanewlook.Theschoolherewasverysmall.Nowithasbeenrebuilt.Thenewlybuiltteachingbuildinghas4storeys.Itisthemostbeautifulbuildinginthevillage.Alltheschool-agechildrencanstudyhere.Theyenjoyfreeeducationinit.Thankyou.Ladiesandgentlemen,

Welcometoourschool!Ladiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool!①Thisvillageisverysmall.Ithasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.②Ithaschangedalotsince1978③.Peoplehere④arericherthanbefore.Nowitistakingonanewlook.①Thisvillageisasmallonewith/whichhasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.

②

However,

ithaschangedalotsince1978③andhasbeendevelopingveryfast.Peoplehere④liveamuchbetterlifethanbefore.书面表达：Nowitistakingonanewlook.

Inthepast,theschoolherewasverysmall⑤.⑥Nowithasbeenrebuilt.⑦Thenewlybuiltteachingbuildinghas4storeys⑧.Itisthemostbeautifulbuildinginthevillage.Alltheschool-agechildrencanstudyhere.⑨Theyenjoyfreeeducationinit.⑩Thankyou.

Inthepast,theschoolherewasverysmall⑤andmostchild