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小谢尔顿S01E05They'vegottostoptheminthisseries.得在这次阻止他们-Geez!Damnit!-Comeon!-靠-不是吧InTexas,theHolyTrinityisGod,在德克萨斯神圣的三位一体是上帝footballandbarbeque,橄榄球与烧烤notnecessarilyinthatorder.顺序可以互换Idon'tcareifyouwin,justcoverthedamnspread.谁输谁赢无所谓让分后算我赢就行Mom,areyoubettingagain?妈你又开始赌球了吗No.没有...fansontheirfeet,球迷们如坐针毡tryingtourgethedefenseon.希望队伍展开防守Fourthdown.第四攻了Gottapunt.必须得弃踢Gotta.必须Statistically,alwayspuntingonfourthdown数据上来说总在第四攻弃踢makesnosense.是十分不合理的Statistically,you'readumbass.数据上来说你就是个傻逼WhentheAggiesgiveuptheball当德州农工大学队ontheirownfive-yardline,被对方在自家五码线进攻时theopposingteamhasa92%chanceofscoring.对方队伍有92%的几率会得分Whentheypuntfromdeepintheirownterritory,当他们从自家场地深处弃踢出去theotherteamstillhasa77%chanceofscoring.对方队伍还是有77%的几率得分Butsincetheyconvertonfourthdown50%ofthetime,但他们继续进攻有50%几率再得4次进攻机会themathsaystheyshouldneverpuntagain.所以计算显示他们不该弃踢Okay,youcantellme,好了你偷偷跟妈说who'shisrealdaddy?他亲生父亲到底是谁Sheldon,I'vebeenplayingandcoachingfootballallmylife.谢尔顿我踢球与当教练一辈子了Idon'tthinkyourmathisright.我觉得你算得不对Really?是吗Hangon.你等等No,it'sright.不没算错...abletoholdA&Mtoafieldgoal,让农工队只是射门得分的话they'llonlybedownsixpoints.他们就只会落后6分Isityourdentist?是你的牙医吗Thelittleguywiththeglasses?那个戴眼镜的小个子Youcantellme.放心跟我说实话Igottotellyou,I'malittleworriedaboutmymother.跟你说我有点担心我妈Shekeepsbettingonthesefootballgames,她整天赌这些球赛nextthingyouknow,there'sanItalianfella之后哪天可能就会来个意大利小伙drivingoffwithherpickuptruck.来把她的小货车开走抵债YouthinkSheldon'sright?你觉得谢尔顿说得对吗Aboutwhat?哪件事情Thepuntingandthemath.弃踢还有他的计算Ishouldthinkso.我相信应该对He'sbeendoingourtaxessincehe'ssixyearsold.从他六岁时起我们家纳税就是他在弄Weneverbeenaudited.我们也没被税局稽查That'strue.这倒是Heevengotusthatnicerefundlastyear.他去年还帮我们拿到退税呢HowcomeMom'snottakingmetoschool?为什么今天不是妈载我去学校'Causeonceinawhile,因为有时候yourdadwantstospendsometimewithyou.你老爸也会想跟你相处一下啊MylittleShel-man.我的小谢仔ButMom'scarhasabackseat.但是妈的车有后座Statistically,I'mmuchsaferthere.数据上来说我坐那里比较安全Hey,I'mgladyoubroughtupstatistically.我刚好也想跟你聊一下这个数据YouthinkthosenumbersyoutalkedaboutforTexasA&M你觉得你昨天说的德州农工大学队的数据wouldapplytomyJVsquad?也能用在我带的队伍上吗Idon'tseewhynot.没道理不能啊Unlikeourformerprincipal,mathdoesn'tdiscriminate.数学与前任校长不同的是数学不歧视人You'renotthinkingabouttakinghisadvice,areyou?你不会是想用他的建议吧-Neveryoumind.-Buthe'swrong.-用不着你管-可是他是错的Everybodyknowsyoupuntonfourthdown.大家都知道第四攻应该弃踢Whydoeseverybodyknowingsomethingmakeitright?为什么大家都知道就等于它是对的Because.因为That'swhatmakesthiscountrygreat.美国就是因此而伟大Manyyearslater,许多年后mybrotherwouldusethissameargument我哥也用了这句话infrontofajudge.跟法官解释Hewasstillconvictedforurinatinginaphonebooth.但他在电话亭里撒尿的事还是被定罪了Oh,damnit.靠I'llsendinthepuntingteam.我去让弃踢手上场Hangon.Hangon.等等你等等What?怎么Let'sgoforit.继续进攻Why?Wegotplentyoftime.为什么我们时间还很充足啊Iknow.Stillwanttogoforit.我知道还是想要继续进攻We'reonthe12-yardline.Everybodyknowyoupunt.我们在12码线上呢大家都知道该保守弃踢Whydoeseverybodyknowingsomethingmakeitright?谁说大家都知道就等于它是对的Butwe'reonthe12-yardline,Coach.但是在我们球门口啊教练Okay,Coachsayswe'regoingforit.教练让我们继续进攻Stupidbrother.白痴弟弟-What?-Nothing.-什么-没事Powerleftjumboontwo,ontwo.Ready,break!左侧突破准备散开AndyourWolvesaregoingforitonfourthdown.狼队在第四攻选择继续进攻Whatthehell?Punt!什么鬼弃踢啊Statistically,they'rebetteroffgoingforit.数据上来说继续进攻比较好-Sayswho?-Mylittleboy.-谁说的-我儿子That'swhyeverybodypunts.这就是为什么大家都弃踢Thatwasjustplainfoolishness.这简直就是脑袋抽风Yourlittleboy'sarealgenius.你小儿子可真天才啊Well,actuallyheis.他还真是天才Comeon.不是吧Toomanymenonthefield,defense.犯规防守方场上人数过多Replayfourthdown.第四攻重来Ah.Thankyou,Jesus.感谢老天Now,canIsendinthepuntteam?我现在可以叫弃踢手上场了吗Coach?教练Andthey'regoingforitagain.他们再度继续进攻Whatthehell?Punt!什么鬼啊弃踢啊RemindmetotellyouaboutthetaxrefundIgotfromtheIRS.提醒我下次跟你说我拿到国税局退税的事Set.Hut!开始Go,go,go,go,go,go!上上上上上Go!Whoo!上啊Go,go,go!Go!冲啊冲啊He'satthe30,the20,the10.来到了30码线20码10码Touchdown,Wolves!达阵得分狼队Ineverhadanydoubt,Coach.Neverhadanydoubt.我就没怀疑过你教练没怀疑过Oh,booyah!Yes.看到没太好啦Sweetdreams,baby.晚安啦宝贝Night,Meemaw.晚安姥姥CanIaskyouafavor?我能请你帮个忙吗-Sure.What?-Youknowthosestatistics-可以啊什么事-你还记得thatyouweretalkingaboutwithyourdad?你跟你爸爸说的那些什么数据吗Could...couldthatbeappliedto,say,那些数据也能套用到...whomightwintheCowboys-Packersgamenextweek?比如说下周的牛仔与包装工队比赛吗And,morespecifically,byhowmuch?能不能更详细到差多少分之类的IsupposewithenoughdataIcouldmakeareasonableguess.如果我有足够数据应该可以给出合理猜测Idon'twantaguess,Iwanttoknow.我不要猜测我要确切的Momsaidyou'renotsupposedtogamble.妈说不可以赌博Sleep,child!睡你的觉死小孩-Mom?-Inhere!-妈-在这里呢I'llgetthosenumberstoyoutomorrow.我明天把那些数据弄给你Justtuckinghimin.来哄他睡觉Igotsomethingforyou.我有东西给你It'sdirty.是脏的Well,that's'causeit'sthegameball.因为这是比赛用过的球Andyouearnedit,'causeyouhelpeduswin.这是你应得的因为你帮我们赢了比赛Okay,butcanyouwashit?好吧但你能先洗一洗吗Sheldon,yourdaddy'stellingyouhe'sproudofyou.谢尔顿你爸爸是在夸你以你为荣呢Isee.Thankyou,Dad.好吧谢谢你爸爸You'rewelcome.不客气I'mstillnevertouchingthat.但我还是不要碰它Let'sgowipeitoff.去帮他擦干净吧Forthenextfiveweeks,接下来的五周Icontinuedtohelpmyfatherapplystatistics我继续帮我爸爸套用数据tocoachhisteam.来执教他的队伍Notsurprisingly,theycontinuedtowin,毫无意外地队伍一直在赢whichchangedmystatusintheschooldramatically.这让我在学校的地位冲上云霄-Thereheis!-Yo,Sheldon!-他来啦-谢尔顿Shel-dog!谢狗Mathman!数学哥Hey,cutie.小可爱Itwasanightmare.简直就是一场恶梦Shel-dog!谢狗Hugging,hairtousling,highfives.拥抱弄乱头发击掌Andasmypopularitygrew,sodidmytimealoft.我的人气冲上云霄我在空中的时间也长了Hey,I'vebeenlookingalloverforyou.我到处在找你呢Doyouknowhowpopularweare?你知道我们现在人气有多高吗-We?-Yeah.-我们吗-对啊IputthewordoutIwashelpingyouwiththefootballstats.我放出消息说我有帮忙你算橄榄球的数据AndsinceI'mAsian,theyboughtit.他们看我是亚洲人就信了Well,I'mgladyou'reenjoyingit.你享受这感觉我替你高兴You'renot?你不享受吗Iwastouched82timesthisafternoon.今天一下午我被人摸了82次Whatdoyoumean,"touched"?你说"摸"是什么意思Notinappropriately.不是不合适地乱"摸"Joyfully.是开心地Affectionately.充满热情地Acheerleaderhuggedmetoherbosom.还有一个拉拉队员抱我入她胸That'samazing.太爽了吧Nomorehighfives.我不要再击掌了Ican'tkeepwashingmyhands.我不想一直洗手There'smylittleassistantcoach.这不是我的小助理教练吗Hello,Dad.你好啊老爸Youhaveanymore,uh,arithmeticideas关于下星期的比赛fornextweek'sgame?还有什么算出来的小妙招吗Ido,butI'mtryingtofinishmyhomework.有啊但我想先写完作业Lookscomplicated.看起来很复杂啊Advancedchemistry.It'snot.这是高等化学不复杂啊Whatareyouguysdoing?你们在干嘛呢YourbrotherandIaregonnaknockaroundafewideas你弟弟跟我在讨论讨论下周fortheFreeportgame.对弗里波特队的比赛打法CanIhelp?我能帮忙吗Actually,yeah.Runouttomytruck.可以啊帮忙跑去我车上There'salittle,uh,pocketcalculatoronmyfrontseat.前座有一个口袋计算器Igotyouapresent.我有个礼物给你Thoughtitmighthelpwithyourfiguring.我想这个能帮忙你算Idon'tneedacalculator,Dad.Iamone.我不需要计算器啊爸我就是计算器Sure.行吧Gogetitanyway.还是去拿吧It'ssolar-powered.是太阳能的Canyouimaginethat?你能想象到吗Georgie,turnthatdown!小乔治小声点What?什么Andlookatthisroom.Youneedtocleanthismessup.看看你房间快给我整理干净I'llgettoitlater.我等会再弄No,you'llgettoitnow.不行你现在就整理Idon'tfeellikeit.我不想Well,yourfeelingshavenothingtodowithit.不管你想不想都现在去打扫Andstopthrowingthatball.也不要再丢那个球了Myroombothersyousomuch,youcleanit.我房间让你这么看了烦那你来打扫That'sit!Youaregrounded!Youhearme?!够了你被禁足了听到没Thehell?怎么回事There'smylittleMoonpie.我的小饼饼Didyougetachancetolookatthisweek'sgamesforme?你抽空帮我看这周的比赛了吗-Notyet.-Youunderstandthere'salittletimecrunchinvolved.-还没-你知道没剩多少时间了吧Meemaw'sgotsomeoutstandingloansIneedtopayback.姥姥有一些欠款得还上呢I'msorry,Ihavetofinishmyhomework抱歉但我得先写完作业andthenIhavetohelpmydad.然后去帮完我爸爸之后才有空Comeon.来嘛I'myourmeemaw.我是你亲爱的姥姥Imakeyoucookies.我还给你做饼干How'boutalittlequidproquo?咱们俩互利互惠一下如何AsmuchasIenjoyyouruseofLatin,no.虽然我挺喜欢你用成语但不了Shelly,timetogetreadyforbed.谢利该准备上床睡觉了ButI'mnotdone.我还没写完呢Don'tyousassme,too,youngman.小家伙别跟我顶嘴Brushyourteethandgettobed.去刷牙睡觉Ithinkyourangermightbealittlemisdirected.我觉得你的怒火有点发泄错地方了Don'tyoustartwithmeeither.你也别来跟我挑事Now,see,you'restillshootin'wide.瞧你还是在拿旁人出气Goodevening,Mrs.Cooper.晚上好库珀太太CanIspeaktoSheldon?我能和谢尔顿聊聊吗No,youcan'tspeaktoSheldon.不行你不能It'slate.He'sinbed.很晚了他已经上床睡了Oh.Iwashopinghemightliketogotoapartywithme.我想问他要不要跟我一起去派对Haseveryonelosttheirmind?大家都集体发疯了吗He'salittleboy,Tam!他还是个孩子丹Goodnight!晚安GoodLord,thatmouthofyoursisamachineguntonight.天啊今晚你那张嘴好像机关枪似地Whatareyoudoing?你在干什么TryingtocalculatetheoddsoftheDolphins试着算出下周日海豚队coveringthespreadnextSunday.让分后赢的几率Ilikedolphins.我喜欢海豚Theytalkoutofthatholeintheirhead.他们用脑袋上的洞来说话Hello.你好Tam?丹Whatareyoudoinghere?你怎么会在这儿Wouldyouliketogotoapartywithme?你愿意和我一起去派对吗Idon'twanttogotoapartywithanyone.我不想和任何人一起去派对Iwould!我愿意Please,Sheldon.拜托了谢尔顿It'srightacrossthestreet.就在马路对面Justgetmein,andyoucangobacktobed.带我进去然后你就可以回来睡觉了Ihavetoaskmymom.我得先问下我妈妈Noneed.Sheknowsallabouttheparty.不用了她知道派对的事Allright,then.那好吧Ineedaminutetochange.给我一分钟换身衣服-Whyareyouwearingthat?-Itmakesmelookolder.-你为什么穿这个-能让我看起来成熟些Justsowe'reclear,onceyougetin,先把话说清楚一把你弄进去I'mgoinghome.我就回家了Hey!Sheldon!好呀谢尔顿Whatareyoudoing?你这是干什么Hey,everybody,checkitout!Sheldon'shere!各位快看啊谢尔顿来了Ihopethatdoesn'twakeupthekids.希望孩子们不会被那派对吵醒ShouldIgooverthereandsaysomething?要不要我去那边说说他们Ithinkyoushould.我觉得有这必要Iwasbluffin'.我刚只是装有心Don'tmakemeputmysocksbackon.别逼我把袜子穿回去Nevermind.算了Goodnight.晚安Goodnight.晚安IfeelbadaboutyellingatGeorgie.我朝小乔治大吼了我觉得很内疚Hedeservedit.是他该骂Youshoulddoitmore.你应该多吼他几次Ithinkhe'sfeelingleftout我想他是觉得被冷落了nowthatyouandSheldonarespendingsomuchtimetogether.因为你和谢尔顿现在常黏在一起Areyoukiddin'me?你在逗我吗You'realwayssayingtofindsomethingincommonwithSheldon.是你一直叫我找到和谢尔顿的共同话题AndnowthatIhave,you'retellingmeI'mignoringGeorgie?现在我找到了你又说我冷落小乔治了I'mnotsayingthat.我没那么说I'mjustremindingyou我只是提醒你thatyougottwosons.你有两个儿子Iknow.我知道IalsogotadaughterIneedtospendmoretimewith.我还有个也应该多跟她相处的女儿Youdo.确实是的ButIwouldn'tworryabouther.但我不担心她She'sanangel.她就是个小天使Sheldon!Sheldon!Sheldon!谢尔顿谢尔顿谢尔顿-Putmedown!-Sheldon!Sheldon!-放我下来-谢尔顿谢尔顿Isaidputmedown.快把我放下来Putmedown!I'mnotenjoyingthis!放我下来我不喜欢这样Missy,whatareyoudoinghere?!米希你在这儿干吗Cuttin'loose.Whatareyoudoinghere?放纵享乐你又在这儿干吗Slowly!Slowly!慢点慢点Slowly!慢点You,too?!你也来了Hello,Georgie!你好小乔治You'renotsupposedtobehere.你不应该来这里Neitherareyou!You'regrounded!你也不该来你被禁足了Comeon.走吧Bothofyouaregoinghome.Now.你们俩现在就给我回家-Oh,thankgoodness.-Aw.-谢天谢地-不要嘛How'spubertytreatingyou?青春期对你影响如何Becauseitisknockingmeforaloop.它可让我长大了许多Right?对吧Somehow,myparentsdidn'tfindoutaboutmepartyingheartily.我父母居然没发现我去纵情派对了ButIdidpayaprice但蜡烛两头烧forburningthecandleatbothends.确实让我付出了代价Imadeamistakeonamathtest.我数学考试时犯了错Inmyexhaustion,Ididallthecalculationsinmyhead,我太累了我在脑子里做了运算and,likeacommonzooanimal,forgottoshowmywork.结果像动物园里的动物一样忘了写出计算过程Ijustsawoneofthosegirlsfromtheparty,我刚遇到派对上的一个女生andsheacknowledgedmyexistencebydoingthis.她对我做了这个动作像承认了我的存在I'veneverfeltsoalive.人生首次感到如此有存在感Areyouokay?你还好吗No,I'mnot.不好Yeah,so?这又怎么样AB-plus--that'sthebeginningoftheend.B+这是走向终点的开始Theendofwhat?什么终点Mylife.我的人生IfIdon'tmakesomechanges,whoknowshowfarI'llfall.如果我不做出改变谁知道我会堕落到什么地步Icouldwindupadrugaddict,oralawyer.说不定我会变成瘾君子或律师Isitpossibleyou'reoverreacting?你会不会反应过激了No.Startingtoday,I'mdonehelpingthefootballteam.不从今天起我不再帮橄榄球队了Butifyoudothat,girlswillnolongergreetmelikethis.你这样妹子们再也不会这么跟我打招呼了I'llgreetyoulikethat.我会这么跟你打招呼It'snotthesame.这不一样啦Extricatingmyselffromthissituation让我自己从这些事中抽身wasnotgoingtobeeasy.并非易事Myfatherwascountingonme,Meemawwascountingonme,我父亲指望着我我姥姥指望着我theschoolwascountingonme.学校也指望着我Aftermuchthought,Idecidedtoemploy深思熟虑后我决定theonestrategicmaneuverIknewIcouldcounton.采取最靠得住的战略策略Itattled.打小报告Mom?妈妈SheldongotaB-plus!That'sterribleforhim!谢尔顿得了B+真是太糟糕了I'mverydisappointedinallthreeofyou.我对你们三个非常失望Thatisright.Missy,thisisforyourballetclass.没错米希这是给你上芭蕾课穿的Wedonotgotoparties.你们不许去派对玩Iamverydisappointed.我非常失望Gottogopickupsomeequipmentfortheteam;youwanttojoinme?我要去给队伍弄些装备你想一起去吗Can't.I'mgrounded.去不了我被禁足了Yeah,well...是啊不过Iwon'ttellifyouwon't.你不说我也不会说出去Sheldongoing?谢尔顿去吗Thatlittlesnitch?Absolutelynot.那个背信弃义的小崽子当然不去Sheldonstillgonnahelpyouwiththemath?谢尔顿还会帮你算数吗Idon'tthinkso.我想不会了ButIdidhearhislittleAsianfriendcandoit.但我听说他那个亚洲人朋友也会算Hello.你好So...话说Oilersareafour-pointfavoriteforthisSunday'sgame,这个周日油工队赔率是让四分butit'sahomegame,soI'mthinkingIgivethepoints.但是是油工队主场所以我想赌主队让分赢盘Whatdoyouthink?你觉得呢IthinkIhaveto

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