书面表达的润色定稿

WelcometoourClass!书面表达系列讲练之三高三英语组刘屏如何给文章润色

技巧1.使用较高级的词汇3.使用恰当的连接词给书面表达润色的技巧2.使用较丰富的句式1Ourschoolhasforty-siclassesIthoughtoutagoodidea3AsaresulttheplanwasafailureTheplanturnedouttobeafailure一、使用较高级的词汇Ourschoolismadeupofforty-siclassesAgoodideaoccurredtomeAgoodideasuddenlystrucmePractice:1她喜欢音乐．2我碰巧遇见他的叔叔．SheisfondofmusicSheisintomusicSheisinterestedinmusicShecaresfor/aboutmusicIhaeethisuncleIcameacrosshisuncleImetwithhisuncle_____________ShelosesherselfintomusicImethisunclebychance/accident连战和他的妻子一到机场就受到热烈的欢迎二、使用较丰富的句式在一篇文章中用不同的句子结构，能增加文章的文采。AssoonastheyarrivedattheairedOnarrivingattheairedLienChanandhiswifewerewarmlywelcomeddirectly/immediatelytheyarrivedattheairportNosoonerhadtheyarrivedattheairedHardlyhad…when…LienChanandhiswifewerewarmlywelcomedthemoment/theminute/theinstanttheyarrivedattheairport1Althoughheisclever,hedoesn'tworhard使用倒装句2Hedidnotnowwhathadhaanystudentsfollowedher使用非谓语动词形式4Hewasverydisappointedwhenhesawthis使用感叹句PracticeCleverasheis,hedoesn’tworhardShewaledoutofthelab,HowdisappointedhewaswhenhesawthisItwasnotuntilhehadreadthenewsinthenewspaperthathenewwhathadhappenedmanystudentsfollowingherfollowedbymanystudents三、使用恰当的连接词ThereisanewclassroombuildingbesidetheroadAnotherbuildingontheothersideisourlibraryOnonesideoftheroadthereisanewclassroombuildingOntheotherside,wheretheplaygroundusedtobenowstandsanothernewbuilding—ourlibraryI’dlietonowthetimetoreturnIalsowanttonowifthereisanytimeforshoppingI’dlietonowthetimetoreturnBesides,isthereanytimeforshoppingAB常用的连接词：and,but,so,however,therefore,then,suddenly,afterawhile,atlast,asaresult,infact,thus,inaddition,besides,either…or,both…and…,ifnotso…,what’smore,what’sworse…Practice:youagreewithmyarrangement_____如果不同意的话,dowritetomesooncangodowntownanddosomeshoey结果,Isaved$80Eatingsugarisbadforour更糟糕的是,itmaymaeusfatIfnotInadditionAsaresultWhat’sworse

联合国教科文组织某考察团正在我国某乡村参观考察。假定你是接待人员,请根据下列提示以发言稿的形式简要介绍这个村的情况：

1)大小：近100户人家，约500口人。

2)变化：过去很穷，78年后变化很大。人们生活比以前好多了。现已旧貌换新颜。

3)教育：原来的学校很小，现已经过改建。新建的教学楼有4层，是村里最美的建筑物。村所有学龄儿童在此免费就读。注意：1）要点齐全，前后连贯。

2）词数：100-120之间。Practice书面表达：Ladiesandgentlemen,WelcometoourschoolThisvillageisverysmallIthasnearly100familiesandabout500allNowithasbeenrebuiltThenewlybuiltteachingbuildinghas4storeysItisthemostbeautifulbuildinginthevillageAlltheschool-agedchildrencanstudyhereTheyenjoyfreeeducationinitThanyou18学生习作原文：给我打分吧!Ladiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool!Thisvillageisverysmall.Ithasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.②Ithaschangedalotsince1978.Peoplehere③

arericherthanbefore.Nowitistakingonanewlook.对原文进行润色①Thisvillageisasmallonewith/whichhasnearly100familiesandabout500people②However,uchbetterlifethanbefore①

Inthepast,theschoolherewasverysmall

④.

⑤Nowithasbeenrebuilt.⑥

Thenewlybuiltteachingbuildinghas4storeys⑦.Itisthemostbeautifulbuildinginthevillage.Alltheschool-agechildrencanstudyhere.⑧

Theyenjoyfreeeducationinit.

⑨Thankyou.⑤But⑥andthenewlybuiltteachingbuilding⑦whichhas4storeysisthemostbeautifuloneinthevillage⑧What’smore,⑨Mayyouenjoyyourstayhere/Mayyouhaveaehere!④andmostchildrencouldn’taffordtogotoschoolLadiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool!Thisvillageisasmallonewith/whichhasnearly100familiesandabout500uchbetterlifethanbeforeNowitistaingonanewlooIntheallandmostchildrencouldn’taffordtogotoschoolButnowithasbeenrebuiltandthenewlybuiltteachingbuildingwhichhas4storeysisthemostbeautifuloneinthevillageAlltheschool-agechildrencanstudyhereWhat’smore,theyenjoyfreeeducationMayyouenjoyyourstayhere/Mayyouhaveaehere!Thanyou

点评1．使用了一些较高级的词汇并对原文作了适当的发挥如：liveamuchbetterlifethan…,２．运用了较丰富的句式．如：which引导的定语从句或with引导的定语．３．还使用了较多的连接词如：however,23-25______________________couldn’tafford…等_________________________________________________________以及表祝愿的倒装句___________________________________________________________and,but,w