读后续写友谊类+Emily的新朋友讲义 高三英语一轮复习

读后续写题目ItwasasunnyafternoonwhenAlicefoundherselfwanderinglostinabusycity.Feelingoverwhelmedandconfused,shecouldn'tfindherwaybacktoherhotel.Withdespairinhereyes,shestoodonacrowdedstreetcorner,searchingforhelp.JustwhenAlicewasabouttogiveuphope,afriendlyfaceappearedinthecrowd.ItwasanelderlygentlemannamedMr.Johnson.Sensingherdistress,heapproachedAliceandkindlyaskedifhecouldbeofassistance.Gratefulforhisoffer,Aliceexplainedhersituation.Mr.Johnsonlistenedattentivelyandreassuredherthatheknewthewaytoherhotel.Withouthesitation,heinsistedonaccompanyinghertoensureshereachedherdestinationsafely.Astheywalkedtogether,Mr.Johnsonengagedincheerfulconversation,gentlydistractingAlicefromheranxiousthoughts.Hiswarmdemeanorandgenuineconcernputheratease,asiftheywereoldfriends.Alongtheway,hepointedoutlandmarksandsharedinterestingtidbitsaboutthecity.Afterashortwalk,theyarrivedatthehotel.AlicethankedMr.Johnsonprofusely,hergratitudepouringoutineveryword.Butinsteadofacceptingherthanks,hesimplysmiledandsaid,"Helpingsomeoneinneedisitsownreward,"Withthosewords,Mr.JohnsonbidAlicefarewellandcontinuedonhisway.HisselflessnesshadmadeaprofoundimpactonAlice'sheart,inspiringhertopayhiskindnessforward.Daysturnedintoweeks,andAlicefoundherselfconstantlyonthelookoutforopportunitiestohelpothers.Whetheritwasofferingdirectionstolosttouristsorlendingahandtosomeonestrugglingwithheavybags,Alicebecameknownasthe"kindstranger"inhercommunity.Oneday,whilewalkingthroughapark,Alicenoticedayounggirlsittingaloneonabench,tearsstreamingdownherface.Withouthesitation,sheapproachedthegirlandaskedifsheneededsomeonetotalkto.Theybeganaheartfeltconversation,andAlicesoondiscoveredthatthegirl,Emily,wasfeelinglostandlonely.Para1:Drawingexperiencefromherself,AlicesharedstoriesofkindnesswithEmily.

Para2:Afterconstantlypayingherkindnessforward,Alicewaslostinthought.

下水文：Drawingexperiencefromherself,AlicesharedstoriesofkindnesswithEmily.

Theywere

storiesaboutagirlwhokeptreachingherhandstothepeopleinneed.AssharingthestorieswithEmily,shefoundherselfwanderinginthepastmemories,whilethepeople’sthankfulsmileresurfacedinhermind.Thestoriesweresoattractivethatthegirl,Emily,wasdeeplyimmersedinthem,hereyesfixingonthehappysmileofAlice.Intheendoftheconversation,Alicesharedastoryaboutalostgirlandagentleman.isme.“Thegirlofallstoriesisme,”shesaid,

“Itisthegentlemanwhoencouragedmetodoso.”Afterconstantlypayingherkindnessforward,Alicewaslostinthought.

Hermindwasoccupiedwithathoughtthatwhatthegentlemanmeantbythesentence，"Helpingsomeoneinneedisitsownreward."Asthinking,shewalkedtothebenchwhereshemetEmily.Butthistime,therewasabunchofflowersandaletteronthebench.“Tothe'kindstranger’“waswrittenontheenvolpe.Sheopenedandreadit,thentearsdroppedontheletter.Inthedrenchedletter,Emilywrote,“Thanyou,thekindstranger.Youletmeknowwhatmygrandfatherhadsaid,‘Helpingsomeoneinneedisitsownreward”.综评：故事整体逻辑流畅，句式基本准确且有变化。作者从原文中提取了信息，并有意识地在续写段落中复现以增强故事的呼应性；同时人物的互动性也在第一段有所体现。下面是可以提升之处：1.故事的逻辑完整性欠佳。如，1.Emily这个人物的结尾没有交代，她不再lonely和lost了吗，作者没有说明；2.首段故事没有结束，导致首段与第二段之间的逻辑串联有断层，“她们从公园里开了吗？””如何让首段流畅地与第二段提示语constantlypayingherkindnessforward衔接？“；3.原文中没有任何线索指明Emily与之前Alice认识的老人有关，此处属于作者的发挥，可能引起考官的不解。并且，只有帮助了别人才能体会到reward的感觉，Emily如何帮助别人，作者并未说明。因此，结尾处Emily的这句话其实缺乏逻辑的支撑。2.续写中句式基本准确，较为多样，但有一些拼写和用法上的失误。尤其是出现在文章开头的句子，一定要保证其正确性，给考官留下好的第一印象。其次，学会使用准确、与原文呼应的形容词，让句子的表现力更上层楼。3.故事的呼应性可以增强：1.Alice和Emily两人经历的相似之处可以突出；2.Emily听完故事之后，有哪些改变可以在续写段落中体现；3.原文中出现的人物动作也可以进行复现；4.通过对比的手法，在结尾体现出人物的成长，但成长需要逻辑支撑;5.这个helpingothersisitsownreward，这个reward到底指代什么，作者有必要在文中阐明。修改建议Drawingexperiencefromherself,AlicesharedstoriesofkindnesswithEmily.

Theywerestoriesofalonelygirlwhogotlostinabusycity,butwiththeassistanceandwisdomofakindstranger,eventuallyfoundjoyandfulfillmentinhelpingothers.IntheendofAlice’sstorieswhensherevealedthefactthatthelonelygirlwasher,Emilylookedup,andhereyes,filledwithadmirationandaglimpseofhope,sparkledagain.Astheypartedwaysinthepark,Alicecarriedonherunendingjourneywithabigsmile.

Afterconstantlypayingherkindnessforward,Alicewaslostinthought.

Whocouldhaveknownbeingalwaysonthelookoutforopportunitiestohelpothershadnotonlyconnectedhermoredeeplywithhercommunitybutenabledhertoforgefriendshipsthatwithstoodthetestoftime