英语写作优化句子的常用方法分析课件

基础写作训练优化句子的常用方法一、同位语手段三、运用并列句二、运用短语四、运用复合句基础写作训练优化句子的常用方法一、同位语手段三、运用并列句二12008年广东高考题

你很荣幸地成为2008北京奥运会的一名志愿者，负责编写奥运比赛项目的英语介绍。【写作内容】请根据以下中文提纲，编写射击项目的英语介绍：背景：射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪末才发展成体育活动。1896：第一次成为奥运项目1904：中断1928：中断2008年广东高考题

你很荣幸地成为2008北京奥运会的一名21932：重回奥运会

1968：第一次允许妇女参加奥运射击比赛现状：稳步发展，1896年奥运会只有三项射击项目，现今有17项。【写作要求】只能使用5个句子表达全部内容。【评分标准】句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构连贯。1932：重回奥运会

1968：第一次允许妇女参加奥运射击比3①Shooting,originatedasameansofsurvival,developedintoasportonlyinthelate19thcentury.②Thesport,whichfirstappearedin1896,waseversuspendedduringthe1904and1928Games.

③ItwasonlyfouryearsbeforethesportreturnedtotheOlympic.④

However,notuntil1968werewomenfirstallowedtocompeteinthe

Olympicshooting.⑤Withthesportbecomingmoreandmorepopular,ithasgrownsteadilyfromjust3shootingeventsatthe1896OlympicGamesto17today.广东08高考基础写作范文：句子表达有何亮点？①Shooting,originatedasame4一、运用同位语此方法多用于介绍人物、事物、产品、书名或地点等。【例1】介绍事物：（2008）射击最初只是生存工具，19世纪才发展成为一项体育运动。Shooting,ameansofsurvivaloriginally,developedintoasportonlyinthelate19thcentury.一、运用同位语此方法多用于介绍人物、事物、产品、书名或地点等5【例2】介绍人物：（2009）上周我们就中小学生近视问题采访了眼科医生王教授。Lastweek,wehadaninterviewwithProfessorWang,aneye-doctor,concerningtheissueofshort-sightednessoftheschoolchildreninChina.一、运用同位语【例2】介绍人物：（2009）一、运用同位语6【例3】介绍书名：（2011）书名：BattleHymnoftheTigerMother作者：AmyChua，美籍华人，耶鲁大学教授中文版：2011年初开始在中国销售Abook,BattleHymnoftheTigerMother,writtenbyAmyChua,anAmerican-Chinese,hasbeensoldinChinasincethebeginningof2011.【例3】介绍书名：（2011）71.GuangzhouisthecapitalofGuangdongProvince.ItislocatedinthemiddleofGuangdongProvince.ItisthecultureandeconomycenterofGuangdongProvince.Guangzhou,thecapitalandthecultureandeconomycenterofGuangdongProvince,islocatedinthemiddleofGuangdong.运用同位语合并句子1.Guangzhouisthecapitalof82.ZhangHaiismale.Heis23yearsold.HegraduatedfromHunanNormalUniversitylastyear.ZhangHai,male,23yearsold,graduatedfromHunanNormalUniversitylastyear.运用同位语合并句子2.ZhangHaiismale.Heis2391.去年，我被邀请参加一个为“待援助的孩子”（TuesdayChild）举办的一个狂欢节（carnival），“待援助的孩子”是一个帮助艾滋患儿的组织。Lastyear,IwasinvitedtoparticipateinacarnivalforTuesdayChild,______________________________.运用同位语完成句子anorganizationthathelpschildrenwithAIDS1.去年，我被邀请参加一个为“待援助的孩子”（Tuesda102.离2010年还有一个月时间，但《孤星指南》（theLonelyPlanet）等不及宣布来年十大旅游城市排行榜，《孤星指南》是世界最畅销旅游指南杂志之一。Thereisstillmorethanonemonthtogobefore2012.ButtheLonelyPlanet,____________________________________,can’twaittoannounceitstop10citiestotraveltointhecomingyear.运用同位语完成句子

oneoftheworld’sbest-sellingtravelguides2.离2010年还有一个月时间，但《孤星指南》（theL111.李敏是个女孩子，今年18岁，她在光华中学学习，她是我的邻居也是我最好的朋友。LiMin,agirlof18,myneighbourandmybestfriend,isstudyinginGuanghuaMiddleSchool.运用同位语翻译合并句子1.李敏是个女孩子，今年18岁，她在光华中学学习，她是我的122.姓名：SteveJobs别名：苹果教父（godfather）出生地：美国加州三藩市出生日期：1955年2月24日逝世日期：2011年10月5日SteveJobs,thegodfatherofApple,wasborninSanFrancisco,California,theUSAonFebruary24th,1955andpassedawayonOctober5th,2011.运用同位语翻译合并句子2.姓名：SteveJobs运用同位语翻译合并句子13介词短语非谓语动词短语：现在分词过去分词不定式短语二、运用短语介词短语二、运用短语14介词短语常作状语。【例4】我很惊讶，一切进展得那么顺利。【一般】Iwassurprise.Everythingwentonverywell.【高级】Tomysurprise,everythingwentonwell.介词短语常作状语。15介词短语常作定语。【例5】Wastewaterismakingtheriverworseandworse.Thewastewaterisfromafactory.Thefactoryliesontheriver.【高级】Wastewaterfromthefactory

ontheriverismakingtheriverworseandworse.介词短语常作定语。161.XiaxiTownisnotbigbutbeautiful.Ithasanareaofabout8squarekilometers.XiaxiTown,withanareaofabout8squarekilometers,isnotbigbutbeautiful.2.Thereisanoldtower.Thetowerliesintheeastofthetown.Thereisariverbehindthetower.Intheeastofthetownliesanoldtower,behindwhichthereisariver.运用介词短语合并句子1.XiaxiTownisnotbigbutb173.Westartedearly.Wewantedtoenjoythesunriseonthetopofthetower.Westartedearly(inorder/soas/inaneffort)toenjoy/withthepurpose(goal)ofenjoyingthesunriseonthetopofthetower.4.Assoonaswegotthere,webegantotakephotos.Onarrivingthere,webegantotakephotos.3.Westartedearly.Wewanted185.Aprofessorgaveusatalkthismorning.HecamefromBeijingUniversity.HetalkedabouthowtolearnEnglishwell.AprofessorfromBeijingUniversitygaveusatalkabout/onhowtolearnEnglishwellthismorning.6.HetoldusofhisowninterestingexperiencesoflearningEnglish.Welaughedalot.OnhearinghisowninterestingexperiencesoflearningEnglish,welaughedalot.5.Aprofessorgaveusatalk197.Histalklastedanhour.Heaskedussomequestions.Duringtheone-hourtalk,heaskedussomequestions.7.Histalklastedanhour.He20使用时请注意以下几点：不定式的动作发生在谓语动词之后（一般情况下，尽量用不定式的主动式）；现在分词表主动，该动作与谓语动词的动作同时发生或紧接着发生；过去分词表被动，或表示该动词的动作在谓语动词动作之前发生，或者没有时间性；现在分词的被动式表被动，与谓语动词的动作同时发生。二、运用非谓语动词短语使用时请注意以下几点：二、运用非谓语动词短语21【例6】故事是用简单的英语写的，很受英语初学者的欢迎。【一般】ThestoriesarewritteninsimpleEnglish.TheyarepopularwithEnglishbeginners.【高级】WritteninsimpleEnglish,thestoriesarepopularwithEnglishbeginners.二、运用非谓语动词短语【例6】故事是用简单的英语写的，很受英语初学者的欢迎。二、运221.Heisill.Hedidn’tgotoschool.Beingill,hedidn’tgotoschool.2.I’mwritingtoinviteyoutobeajudgeatourEnglishspeechcontest.ItwillbeheldonJune5.I’mwritingtoinviteyoutobeajudgeatourEnglishspeechcontesttobeheldonJune5.运用非谓语动词短语合并句子1.Heisill.Hedidn’tgoto233.Aftershelistenedtomeforawhile,shegavemeabigsmileandsaidshelikedmyvoiceverymuch.Afterlisteningtomeforawhile,shegavemeabigsmileandsaidshelikedmyvoiceverymuch.4.Idon’tknowhisname.IcallhimGoodMan.Notknowinghisname,IcallhimGoodMan.3.Aftershelistenedtomefo245.Themanissingingasong.Heismybrother.Themansingingasongismybrother.6.SuddenlyIsawanant.Shewastryinghardtomoveanotherantwhowasdead.SuddenlyIsawananttryinghardtomoveanotherantwhowasdead.5.Themanissingingasong.25常用的并列连词有and,but,or,otherwise,nor,so,yet,however,for,aswellas,both…and,notonly…butalso,either…or,neither…nor,andthen,since等。三、运用并列句常用的并列连词有and,but,or,otherwis26【例7】他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运动。【一般】Hedoesn’tlikemusic.Hedoesn’tlikesports,either.【高级】Helikesneithermusicnorsports.三、运用并列句【例7】他不喜欢音乐，也不喜欢运动。三、运用并列句27【例8】我不喜欢他，他很自私。【一般】Idon’tlikehim.Heisselfish.【高级】Idon’tlikehim,forheisselfish.三、运用并列句【例8】我不喜欢他，他很自私。三、运用并列句281.Heworkshardhimself.Heencouragesustoworkhard,too.Henotonlyworkshardhimself,butalsoencouragesustoworkhard.2.Theseglassesareveryexpensive.Pleasebecarefulwiththem.Pleasebecarefulwiththeseglasses,fortheyareveryexpensive.运用并列连词合并句子1.Heworkshardhimself.Hee293.HalfofthegirlschoosefilmandTVstarsastheiridols.48%oftheboysfavoursportsstars.HalfofthegirlschoosefilmandTVstarsastheiridolswhile48%oftheboysfavoursportsstars.4.Iamgoodatexpressingmyself.Ihavethelanguageadvantageoverothers.Notonly

amIgoodatexpressingmyself,butIalsohavethelanguageadvantageoverothers.3.Halfofthegirlschoosefi305.Accordingtotheprofessor,thecauseofshort-sightednessisverycomplicated.Nomedicinecancureit.Accordingtotheprofessor,thecauseofshort-sightednessisverycomplicatedsonomedicinecancureit.5.Accordingtotheprofessor,316.Thegovernmentshouldbeawareoftheimportanceofprovidingeducationforallthechildren.Theaveragepeopleshouldbeawareoftheimportance,too.Thegovernment,aswellastheaveragepeople/Boththegovernmentandtheaveragepeopleshouldbeawareoftheimportanceofprovidingeducationforallthechildren.6.Thegovernmentshouldbeaw32最常用的是状语从句、主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句和定语从句。【例9】废水被直接排放到河里，河水被严重污染。【一般】Wastewaterisdirectlyletintotheriver.Theriverisseriouslypolluted.【高级】Theriverisseriouslypollutedbecausewastewaterisdirectlyletintoit.四、运用复合句最常用的是状语从句、主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句和定语从句。33【例10】他病得很重，这让我着急。【一般】Hewasseriouslyill.Itmademeworried.【高级】Hewasseriouslyill,whichmademeworried.四、运用复合句【例10】他病得很重，这让我着急。四、运用复合句341.Heneverlostagame.Iwasreallyastonished.Iwasreallyastonishedthatheneverlostagame.2.LiHuaismyclassmate.HisEnglishisverygood.LiHuaismyclassmate,whoseEnglishisverygood.运用复合句合并句子1.Heneverlostagame.Iwas353.Asformyself,ThomasEdisonismyidol.Hisinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife.Asformyself,ThomasEdisonismyidolbecausehisinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife.Asformyself,ThomasEdison,whoseinventionshavegreatlychangedourlife,ismyidol.3.Asformyself,ThomasEdiso364.CurrentlyChinahasabout350millionsmokers.Amongthesesmokers75%aremenand25%arewomen.CurrentlyChinahasabout350millionsmokers,amongwhom75%aremenand25%arewomen.4.CurrentlyChinahasabout3375.Wearenowlivinginaninformationage.TV,cellsandtheWebarewidelyusedinthisage.Wearenowlivinginaninformationage,inwhichTV,cellsandtheWebarewidelyused.5.Wearenowlivinginaninf386.Thegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.Itisreported.Itisreportedthatthegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.Asisreported,thegovernmentwouldorganizemorethan1,100engineersandworkersfromacrossthecountrytodigwellsinthecountry’ssouthwest.6.Thegovernmentwouldorgani39需要注意的是，我们在写作时，要注意不要一味地追求复杂的句型，能简则简，能用短语，就不要用从句。在句式多样的前提下，尽量做到精炼。【例11】我正在餐桌旁吃饭，一个人朝我走了过来，那个人戴着一顶黑帽子。【复杂】Iwasattablewhenamanwhowaswearingablackhatcameuptome.【简明】WhenIwasattable,amanwearingablackhatcameuptome.需要注意的是，我们在写作时，要注意不要一味地追求复杂的句型，40写作中复合句常见的错误1.只有从句，没有主句

Thekeeperwhohadlivedinthelighttowerforalongtime,sohecouldkeepcalminthestorm.写作中复合句常见的错误1.只有从句，没有主句The412.以逗号代替句号,把两个简单句当成一个句子②Theoldmanthoughtofhisson,tearscamedownfromhisface.①Thehallisdifferentfromallotherbuildings,itismadeofglass.2.以逗号代替句号,把两个简单句当成一个句子②Theol423.刻意使用从句，表达不自然

ThereareoverfiftystudentsinthisschoolwhoaregoingtotakepartinthesportsmeetnextSunday.

OverfiftystudentsinthisschoolaregoingtotakepartinthesportsmeetnextSunday.3.刻意使用从句，表达不自然Thereareov434.过多地使用并列句组合信息②Weweredrivingoutintothecountry,andwesawourEnglishteacherridinginabus,andthebuswascrowded.①Itisabeautifulday,andthesunisshiningandabreezeisblowing.→Itisabeautifuldaywiththesunshiningandabreezeblowing.→Asweweredrivingoutintothecountry,wesawourEnglishteacherridinginacrowdedbus.4.过多地使用并列句组合信息②Weweredrivin44

①Kateisanewstudent.②Shecomesfromanorthernprovince.③Shespeaksadialect.④Wefindithardtounderstandherdialect.Kate,anewstudentfromanorthernprovince,speaksadialectwhichwefindithardtounderstand.用一句话表达①Kateisanewstudent.45不是人人都能学好英语，小学生同时学汉语和英语反而会影响汉语学习。第一步：拆分成几个简单句①不是人人都能学好英语。②小学生同时学汉语和英语。③这会影响汉语学习。第二步：分别翻译这几个简单句①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoollearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.不是人人都能学好英语，小学生同时学汉语和英语反而会影响汉语学46①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.第三步：合并句子

That

childrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametimewillaffecttheirChinesestudy

becausenoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.①Noteveryoneisgoodatlear47①

NoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.②

ChildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime.③

ThiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy.第三步：合并句子

IfchildrenfromprimaryschoolstarttolearnEnglishandChineseatthesametime,thiswillaffecttheirChinesestudy方法2：

becausenoteveryoneisgoodatlearningEnglish.①Noteveryoneisgoodatlear48你来试试参考词汇：错别字:wrongly-writtencharacters网络语言：weblanguage要求：1.用两句话表达表格内容

2.两句话要有连贯性你来试试参考词汇：要求：1.用两句话表达表格内容49第一句（两个信息点）：

1.学生作文中出现很多错别字2.（他们）上网聊天时经常使用网络语言。

①Therearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositions.

Thereasonwhytherearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositionsisthattheyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.合并句子：②Theyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.

第一句（两个信息点）：①Therearemanyw501.Theyhavesomuchhomeworktodoeverydaythattheyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.第二句:1.每天有很多作业做2.没有记住生字。①Theyhavemuchhomeworktodoeveryday.2.Withsomuchhomeworktodoeveryday,theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.3.Becausetheyhavesomuchhomeworktodo,theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.合并句子：②Theyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.1.Theyhavesomuchhomework51连接两句话：Thereasonwhytherearemanywrongly-writtencharactersinstudents’compositionsisthattheyoftenuseweblanguageswhenchattingonline.Moreover,theyhavesomuchhomeworktodoeverydaythattheyfailtomemorizethenewcharacters.连接两句话：52昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。我的一些同学说应该。他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。现在的人忘恩负义。我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。人人能互相关心。这个世界会更美好。翻译合并将下列句子译成英文，然后运用本课件的方法，并使用适当的关联词将它们组成一篇五句话的短文。昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境53昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。Yesterdaywehadadiscussioninourclass.我们讨论是否应该帮助那些困境中的人。Wediscussedwhetherweshouldhelpthoseintrouble.我的一些同学说应该。Someofmyclassmatessaidweshould.昨天，我们在班里进行了一场讨论。54他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。TheythinkhelpingothersisagoodtraditionalvirtueofusChinesepeople.一些人认为帮助他人不是个好主意。Othersdidn’tthinkitisagoodideatohelpotherpeople.现在的人忘恩负义。Peoplenowadaysareungrateful.他们认为帮助他人是我们中华民族的传统美德。55我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。Wemaybehurtbythosewhowearetryingtohelp.依我之见，我们应伸出援助之手给那些需要帮助的人。Inmyview,weshouldgiveahandtothepeopleinneedofhelp.人人能互相关心。Everyonecancareforeachother.这个世界会更美好。Theworldwillbecomemorebeautiful.我们可能受到我们想帮助的人的伤害。56Yesterdaywehadadiscussionon