personal statement 留学文书写作培训教材TSFC四步培训法

WritingYourEssay/PersonalStatementforCollegebyDr.MarilynWinkleby,Founder,SMYSP原文地址：/school/smysp/nojava/prepare/writing.html

本文为斯坦福大学SMYSP项目对如何写作Essay的建议，具体详细阐述了应该注意的方方面面的问题Whatisthepurposeofyourcollegeessay?目的：突出特色Manycollegeswillrequestthatyouwriteanessayorpersonalstatementtoaccompanyyourapplication.Youressayisveryimportantbecauseitallowsyouanopportunitytobeyourselfandtoletthecollegesknowwhoyouareasanindividual.Thinkaboutyourlifeexperiencesandwhathasshapedyouintothepersonyouaretoday.Tellaboutaspectsofyourbackgroundandpersonalattributesthatmaynotbeapparentfromyouracademicrecord.Sinceacademicrecordsandtestscoresofapplicantsareoftenverysimilar,youressayallowsthecollegetogaininsightintoyouruniqueachievements,character,andbackground.Thisallowsthecollegetoevaluatewhattheycanofferyoualongwithwhatyoucancontributetotheiracademicenvironment.Collegesmayaskforageneralessayorgiveyouspecificquestionstoanswer.Thesuggestionsbelowapplytoeither.

Whoreadsyouressay?阅读者：专业人员或者教职员工Eachcollegehasateamoftrainedreaders,severalofwhomwillusuallyreadandscoreyouressayindependently.Readersareoftenprofessionalstafffromthecollege,butmayalsoincludefacultymembers,highschoolteachers,andcounselors.ThesereadersarenottestingyouonwritingabilityorEnglishskills.Theysimplywanttolearnmoreaboutyouonapersonallevel.However,awell-writtenessaywillimpressthereadersoinvesttimeinediting,andcheckingyourgrammarandspelling.

Whatmakesagoodessay?好文章什么样？体现你的生活经历，兴趣，个性等。Agoodessaywillmakeyoudistinctfromthemanyotherapplicants.Readerslookforacohesiveessaythatreflectsyourlifeexperiences,intellectualcuriosityandachievements,personalcharacteristics(perseverance,motivation,leadership),servicetoothers,andcommitmenttohighereducation.Youmaydescribehardshipsyouovercame,eventsthathadasignificantimpactonyourlife,peoplewhoinspiredyou,oryourknowledgeofcertainculturalorethnicgroups.Sometimesaverycommonexperienceisinfluentialandmemorable.Forexample,onestudentwroteabouthisintelligentparentswhoweretrappedinunfulfillingjobsduetotheirlackofformaleducation.Thestudentwasinspiredbyhisparents?experience,excelledinschool,andthusbecamethefirstinhisfamilytoapplytocollege.Youressayshouldshowthedepthofyourinterestsandaccomplishments,andqualityofyourcharacter.Nomatterwhatexperiencesyouchoosetowriteabout,youshouldelaborateontheinsightsthatyougainedfromtheexperiencesandonthewaystheexperiencesinfluencedyourlife.Readerswanttolearnhowexperienceschangedyourattitudesorbeliefs,influencedyouracademicsorextracurricularactivities,orclarifiedyoureducationalgoals.Belowaresomegeneralsuggestionsaswellasspecificsuggestionsthatmayhelpyouwriteanessaythatmakesyoustandoutasagreatapplicant.Generalsuggestions:1.Checktherules.阅读写作要求，最常见的错误是忽略了要求和格式。Readtheinstructionsfortheessayinthecollegeapplicationpacket.Oneofthemostcommonmistakesistomissrequirementsaboutthelengthorformattingoftheessay.Remember,almostallcollegeswantyoutosendyouressaywithyourcompletedapplicationform.

2.Startearlyandreviseoften.早动手，多修改。Startyouressayearly,atleastoneortwomonthsbeforeitisdue.Ifpossible,useacomputerorwordprocessorsorevisionsareeasy.Yourfirstdraftwillberevisedmanytimessodon'tfeelconstrained.Instead,itshouldbeastartingpointforyoutobegintellingyourstory.Youmaywanttobeginbywritingdownmanythoughtsandthenselectingthemostimportant.Or,youmayprefertomakeanoutlineandexpanditaccordingtothelengthrequirements.Bepreparedtowriteatleast10draftsandtohaveseveralpeoplereaddraftsatdifferentstagesinyourwriting.Thesepeopleshouldknowyouonapersonallevel.Onceyouhavereadandrevisedyouressayseveraltimes,putitawayforaweekorso.(Ifyoustartedearly,youshouldn'tbetooclosetothedeadlineyet!)Aftertherestperiod,thinkagainaboutwhatyouwanttheadmissionscommitteetoknowaboutyou.Writethisdown,thentakeoutyouressayandreaditagain.Doesitconveywhatyouwanttosay?Ifnot,youmayhavetostartalloveragainorcutoutlargepartsofyourfirstdraft.Thisisokay--writingrequiresflexibility,andsometimesyouwillhavetoeliminatethingsthatyoulikedbecausetheydon'trelatetoyouroverallmessage.

3.Beclearandfocused.清楚，集中。应该是一个连贯的故事。Youressayshouldbefocusedandtellacohesivestory.Witheachrevision,youressayshouldbemorefocused,havesmoothtransitionalstatements,andpresentamorecohesivestory.Everymainthoughtshouldbefollowedbyalogicaltransitionthatconnectstothenextmainthought.Thereaderofyourapplication(whomaybesleepyorinahurry)willnotspendtimetryingtofigureoutyourmainpointsifyouressayisunclear.

4.Bedistinctive.有特色的东西Writeanessaythatdistinguishesyoufromotherapplicants.Avoidwritingsentencesthatanotherapplicantcouldwrite.Anyapplicantcouldwrite,"Ihavealwayswantedtogotocollegetofurthermyeducation,"or"Ihavealwayswantedtobeadoctor."Thefollowingsentenceismorepersonalandgivesinsightintoanapplicant抯background:"IfirstbecameinterestedinbecomingadoctorwhenDaniel,mylittlebrother,washospitalizedforaninfectedfootafterhegotcaughtonabarbedwirefencewhilebeingchasedbyabull."

5.Bespecific.具体Thiswillhelpthereaderrememberyou.Supposeyouarewritingaboutapatientyoumetduringyourvolunteerworkataninnercityhospital.Ratherthanwriting,"Onepatientmadealastingimpressiononme,"providemoredetailsandwrite,"AyoungLatinawomanwhohadbeenburnedinacaraccidentmadealastingimpressiononmeandinfluencedmyfuturecareergoals."Or,ifyouarewritingaboutateacherwhowasinstrumentalinencouragingyoutoapplytocollege,youmightwrite,"Mr.Wright,myhighschoolbiologyteacher,wasthefirsttosuggestthatImightattendcollege."Avoiddetailsthataresuperficialtoyourpoint,suchas,"Mr.Wright,myhighschoolbiologyteacher,noticedmyintenseinterestinscienceduringmysophomoreyearandtookmeasideoneafternoontotalkwithme.HewasthefirsttosuggestthatImightattendcollegeandencouragedmetotakeclassesinbiology,chemistry,physics,andothersciences."

6.Includepowerfulexperiences.独特的个人经历Includepersonalexperiencesthatwillleavethereaderwithstrongimages,especiallyonesthathaveinfluencedyoureducationorcareergoals.Theexperiencecanbetoldinseveralsentences,butitshouldpaintalastingimage.Theseexperiencesmayberelatedtoahardshipyouhaveovercomeoranexperiencethatinfluencedyourlife.Studentshavewrittenabouthowlivinginfostercare,caringforaparentwithaseriousillness,orlivinginarefugeecampcontributedtotheirinitiativeandchangedtheirattitudesaboutanissueorgroupofpeople.OtherstudentshavewrittenabouthowseeingayoungteenagerdiefromAIDSoranelderlypatientlearntospeakafterhavingastrokeinspiredtheircommitmenttopursuingahealthcareer.

7.Beenthusiastic,butreasonable.热情，合乎情理。Showyourenthusiasm,passionorcommitmentaboutcauses,butbereasonedandlogicalinyourdiscussions.Youmayfeelstronglyaboutahumanrightsorhealthcareissue,suchastheneedforguaranteedhealthcareforallAmericans.Discussyourpersonalviews,providesupportingevidence,andproposehowyouwouldaddresstheproblem,butdosowithout"preaching."

8.Beyourself!写关于自己的东西Mostimportantly,behonestandbeyourself!Admissionsofficerswanttoacceptstudentswhowillbesuccessfulattheirschoolandcontributetoitsenvironment.Theywanttorecruitstudentsfrombackgroundswhowilldiversifytheirstudentbodyandifyousoundliketheirtypeofcandidate,thenitwillbeanadvantageoussituationforbothyouandthecollege!

9.Reviewyourfinalversioncarefully.Whenyouhavecompletedthefinalversionofyouressay,readitcarefullyandask:

Isthereastrongintroductionthatsetsthestageforamemorableessay?当写完了之后，应该看看是否有好的开头Isthetopicsentenceofeachparagraphclearanddotherestofthesentences每段第一句是否清楚

theparagraphsupportthetopicsentence?Areallofmythoughtsconnectedinalogicalfashion?是否有逻辑Istheessayfocusedandcohesive?是否比较集中Doesmyuniquevoicecomethrough;doestheessaysoundlikeme?Isthegrammarcorrect?HaveIdoneafinal"spellcheck"onacomputer?HaveIre-readthefinalversioncarefullytobesurethe"spellcheck"didn抰

substituteanyincorrectwords?Asafinalcheck,giveyouressaytoanEnglishteacherorsomeonewithabackgroundingrammarandspellingtomakesurethatyouhaven'tmadeanyavoidablemistakes.And,besuretokeepaprintedcopyofyourfinalversion.

Specificsuggestionsaboutyouressay:具体建议Readerslookforcertainareasofcontentthatreflectyourlifeexperiences,intellect,workandvolunteerexperiences,extracurricularactivities,andpersonalcharacteristics.Thefollowingoffersyoumoretipsoncontentareas,someofwhichyoumaywriteabout.

1.Academicpreparationandscholarlyexperiences.Includedetailsaboutsignificantclasses,researchprojects,andexperiencesthathavecontributedtoyourintellectualdevelopment.Donotsimplylistyourclasses,grades,andacademichonorssincethisinformationcanbefoundelsewhereinyourapplication.Instead,youmightdescribehowasetofexperiencesbuiltupononeanotherandledtoyourcurrentcareerinterest.Forexample,youmayhaveexperiencedhungerasachildandthenbeeninspiredbyyourhighschoolscienceteachertocompleteasciencefairprojectonchildhoodnutrition.Youthensharedyourfindingswithchildreninanelementaryschoolclassbyteachingthemtheimportanceofeatingahealthydiet.Thesecollectiveexperiencesgaveyouleadershipexperienceandledtoyourinterestinnutritionasafieldofstudy.Youcanuseyouressaytoexplainanyacademicchallengesyouhavefacedandwhy--andthusprovidereasonsforanylowgrades.Youmightmentionhowyouhadlimitedtimetofocusonschoolbecauseyouwereworkingtocontributetoyourfamily'sincome.Anyexamplesuchasthisshouldemphasizewhatyoulearnedfromtheexperienceandhowyouintendtousethisknowledgetohelpyousucceedincollege.Youcanalsouseyouressaytoexplainanyinstanceswhereyouhavesoughteducationalopportunities.Ifyourhighschoolhadalimitednumberofadvancedcollegepreparatoryclassesbesuretomentionthis.Becauseofthis,perhapsyouweremotivatedtodoindependentreadingonyourownortakeclassesatyourlocalcommunitycollege.Thisshowsyourinitiativeandyourseriousnessaboutyoureducation.

2.Lifeexperiences.个人经历Taketimetoreflectonyourlife,identifyingsomekeyaspectsofyourchildhoodandadolescence,aswellaspersonalchallengesyoumayhaveovercome.Somestudentsarehesitanttosharetheirpersonalexperiences,buttheseareexactlywhattheadmissionscommitteewantstosee.Thereadersareespeciallyinterestedinyourexperiencesbecausetheyreflecttheuniqueaspectsofyourlife.Youmightbeginbydescribingobstaclesorbarriersthatyouexperiencedtohighereducationandthendescribehowthesecircumstancesshapedyourfuturedecisionsandstrengthenedyourdesiretoattendcollege.Ifyouarefirstinyourfamilytoattendcollege,besuretomentionthis,sinceyourpathtocollegehasbeenmorechallenginganddifferentfromastudentwhoseparentsarecollegeeducated.Relateyourlifeexperiencestoyouracademicandcareergoals,asyouweaveyourexperiencestogetherinyouressay.Forexample,didafamilyhardshipmakeyoumoreresilientormoresensitivetoothersorleadtoyourinterestinhealth?Perhapscaringforayoungrelativewhohadlungcancermadeyouawareofthedangersofsmokingandledyoutowriteasciencereportaboutthepromotionofcigarettestoyouth.Thiscontributedtoyourinterestinhealthcarepolicyandselectionofacollegethatoffersfieldexperiences,suchasthosewithhealthadvocacygroups.

3.Intellectualcuriosity.Youmaybeabletorememberanexperiencethatreflectsyourintellectualcuriosity,suchasonethathighlightsyourinterestinscienceandmedicine.Asimple,ordinaryexperiencemayprovideanexample.Supposethatduringhighschoolyoubecamefascinatedbytheintricaciesofthehumanbodyandtheinter-relationshipoftheorgansandsystemsofthebody.Youthenfoundabookinyourschoollibrarythathadtransparentpagesthatpicturedthevariousorgansandsystemsofthebody.Asyoulaideachpageuponthenext,acompletehumanbodyemerged.Thisfascinatedyou,butyouwereconcernedthatthemindwasnotrepresented.Youreturnedtothisbookseveraltimes,alwaystowonderaboutthemissingelementsandtheneedforthementalaspectsofapersontobeintegratedwiththephysicalaspects.Theseconcernsledtoyourinterestinbothbasicandsocialscienceclassesduringhighschool,andaninterestinacollegethatoffersclassesonthepsychosocialaspectsofhealth.

4.Character.Writingaboutyourpersonalbackgroundgivesyouthechancetoshareaspectsofyourcharacterthathavehelpedyouthroughdifficultlifeexperiences.Theepisodesyoudiscussshouldillustratepositiveaspectsofyourcharacter,suchasdetermination,initiative,compassion,orleadership.Perhapsyousufferfromaphysicalhandicap.Thishasledtoacompassionforthosewithchronicinjuriesthatyoupursuedbyvolunteeringatarehabilitationhospital.Thissolidifiedyourcommitmenttoworkingwithdisabledpeopleaspartofyourcareer.

5.Humanitarianism/caringexperiences.Youressaymaymentionschoolandcommunityservice,volunteerwork,churchactivities,andanyotherworkyouhavedonetodemonstrateyourinvolvementwithyourschoolandcommunity.Someexamplesofhumanitarianeffortsincludevolunteeringatahomelessshelter,servingasaninterpreteratalocalclinic,orhelpingateacherstartanafterschooltutoringprogramforlow-incomeyouth.Discusswhatyoulearnedfromtheseexperiencesandhowyou'llrelatetheseexperiencestoyourfutureplansandgoals.

6.Leadership.Leadershipexamplescantakemanyforms.Itishelpfultoshowhowyourleadershipevolvedandgrewstrongerduringyourhighschoolyears.Forexample,asaFreshman,youmayhavejoinedtheschoolhealthclubandthenbeenelectedtoanofficeasaSophomore.InyourJunioryearyoumayhavehelpedplanandcoordinateahealthfairthatincludedstudentsfromseveralhighschools.Leadershipdoesnotnecessarilyhavetobesignificantpositions(suchasbeingstudentbodypresidentoramemberofanaward-winningdebateclub).Instead,youmayhavetakenaleadershiproleinyourfamily,peergroup,church,orneighborhood.Haveyoucaredforyoursistersandbrotherswhenyourparentswereatwork?Haveyoubeenamentortoayoungerpersoninyourcommunity?Haveyoueverorganizedagroupofstudentstoservemealsatahomelessshelter?Wereyouamemberofasportsteamwhereyouledandmotivatedyourteammates?Thesecanallbegreatexamplesofleadershipskills.

7.Workorvolunteerexperiences.Doyouhaveanyworkorvolunteerexperiencerelatedtothetypeofcareeryouwanttopursue?Whatdidtheseexperiencesteachyouaboutyourself?Didtheexperiencesleadtoclassesorotheractivitiesthathelpedyourefineyourcareerchoice?Perhapsyouhelpedateacherwhenheorsheorganizedaseriesofeveningprogramsforlow-incomeparents.Thisexperienceshowedyouthatyouenjoyteachingandinteractingwithpeoplefromdiversecultures.Yourcurrentinterestincounseling,withanemphasisinreachingundeservedpopulations,reflectsyourinvolvementwiththisprogram.OrperhapsyoucompletedasciencefairprojectonAIDSandthismotivatedyoutovolunteerwithanAIDSoutreachgroupatyourlocalcommunityclinic.Fromthiswork,youlearnedaboutthehighratesofHIVinfectionamonghomelessyouth.Younowhopetotakecollegeclassesoninfectiousdiseasesandsocialproblemstohelpyoudecideifyouareinterestedinacareerinsocialwork.

8.Vision.Doyouhaveasenseofwhatyou抎liketodointhefuture?Whatisyourvisionregardingyourfurtheracademictrainingoryourcareergoal?Explainingyourgoalsinyouressaycanbeawayforyoutoconvinceanadmissionscommitteewhytheirschoolistherightplaceforyou.Forexample,ifyouwanttomajorinscienceandeventuallybecomeadoctor,youshouldmentionthatyouareinterestedinacollegethathasastrongsciencedepartmentandcommunityclinicalopportunities.Knowingwhataschoolhastooffercanbeawaytoshowthatyouareaseriouscandidatewhohasdoneyourhomework.Yourvisionmayberelativelygeneral,whichisfine.Forexample,youmayknowthatyouwanttobecomeadoctor,butitisunlikelythatyouwouldknowyourspecialty.Justremembertoexplainhowpastexperiencesinfluencedyourinterestsandgoals.

9.Influentialpeople.在谈及个人目标时，谈谈对你有影响的Whenyouwriteaboutyourcareergoals,youmightwanttomentionapivotalpersonorexperiencethatinfluencedyourinterestinhighereducationoraparticularcareer.Perhapsyouworkedatalocalpharmacyandthepharmacistlearnedthatyouwillbethefirstinyourfamilytoattendcollege.Heorshebecameyourmentorandadvisedyouaboutclassestotakeandhowtoapplyforlocalscholarships.Apersonwhowasinfluentialinyourgoalsforhighereducationdoesnotnecessarilyhavetobesomeonewhoisclosetoyouorwithwhomyouhadalotofcontact.Forexample,whenIwasyoung,Ihelpedmydadathisnightjobasajanitor.Wecleanedacountybuildingwheretherewerelawoffices.Onenightajudge,whosedeskIalwayspolished,tookmeasideandtalkedtomeabouthighereducation.Theinfluencefromamanofhisstaturewassignificant.Hemademerealizethattheworldofideaswasaccessibletomeandmotivatedmetotakecollegepreparatoryclasseswhileinhighschool.

10.Interestinaspecificcollegeandyourpotentialcontributions.Finally,youmaywanttoconcludeyouressaywithastatementortwothatreflectyourknowledgeofthecollegewhereyouareapplying,andpotentialcontributionsyoumaymaketothecollege.Ifyouselectedacollegebecauseofitsstrongemphasisonthesciencesanditsvolunteeropportunitieswithlocalunderservedcommunitiesyoumightwrite,"IamparticularlyinterestedinyourschoolbecauseandbelieveIwillbeanassetbecause"Thisstatementshowsthatyouarefamiliarwiththestrengthsofthecollegeandexplainshowyoumightmakeadifferenceatthecollegeifadmitted.Again,youwantthesestatementstoflowfromyourpreviousthoughts.

模块三知识能力试题答案一、名词解释1、饭店人员培训一个有用的饭店培训可以理解为一个系统过程。在这个过程中企业的人力资源通过指导和实践活动获得知识、培养技能、改变态度、增进能力，从而提高企业整体的绩效。2、培训需求分析需求分析就是通过对酒店及其成员的现有状况与理想工作状况的差距进行分析，来确定是否需要培训以及培训的内容的系统方法。需求分析具有很强的指导性，它既是确定培训目标、设计培训计划的前提，也是进行培训评估的基础。3、交叉培训又称工作轮换，指让受训人有计划地从一个岗位换到另一个岗位，以使员工熟悉不同部门或岗位的业务，具备多项专业技能。4、TSFC四步培训法具有科学性的“TSFC四步培训法”，即准备（Tellyou）课前准备并告知学员培训的相关知识和技能示范（Showyou）示范和重复培训步骤练习（Followme）学员在培训师指导下对所学知识和技能进行练习。检查与跟踪（Checkyou）对学员完成的任务进行检查并给予积极支持和及时反馈。二、填空题1、培训评估主要从（反应）（学习）（行为）（结果）四方面进行。2、培训目标主要分为：技能培训、知识传授和（增强能力）。3、培训的特点是（针对性）（多样性）（速成性）（持续性）（强化外语培训）。4、培训应遵循（成人学习）原则。三、单项选择题师傅带徒弟这种培训方式的开发主体是(

D

)。

A.师傅

B.徒弟

C.学校

D.企业或单位在欧美、日本等国家盛行的，不经培训或培训不合格不得进入岗位的培训形式是(C

)。

A.在职培训

B.非在职培训

C.岗前培训

D.脱产培训下列哪项不是在培训过程中教室布置的决定因素（D）。A.参训人员人数B.培训活动形式C.课堂控制程度D.学员参与程度4.下列哪项不是培训的“Learn”教育方法的内容：（E）A.多讨论B.重视经历C.积极参与D.相关内容E.游戏5.培训目标是学员接受培训后所表现出来的工作能力水平的描述。培训目标的要求不包括：(B)A.清楚B.简单C.具体D.可衡量6.培训过程中最复杂最费时的阶段是：(D)A.培训评估B.培训需求分析C.培训设计D.制作培训资料7.“你喜欢这样的培训吗？”“你对培训师的表现是否满意？”这属于培训评估方面的（A）层面。A.反应B.学习C.行为D.结果8.OJT指的是（