《大学英语教程》第三册课文翻译

/Unit1TextATherewasonceatownintheheartofAmericawherealllifeseemedtoliveinharmonywithitssurroundings.Thetownlayinthemidstofacheckerboardofprosperousfarms,withfieldsofgrainandhillsidesoforchardswhere,inspring,whitecloudsofbloomdriftedabovethegreenfields.Inautumn,oakandmapleandbirchsetupablazeofcolorthatflamedandflickeredacrossabackdropofpines.Thenfoxesbarkedinthehillsanddeersilentlycrossedthefields,halfhiddeninthemistsofthefallmornings.从前在美国中心有一个小镇，那里的万物看上去都与其四周的环境融洽相处。小镇的四周是像棋盘交错的生意盎然的农庄，还有一块块的田地和一座座遍布山坡的果园。春天来了，白色的鲜花云彩般地漂浮在田野上；秋天到了，橡树、枫树和桦树色彩斑斓，在一片松树林间火焰般地燃烧与跳跃。小山上狐狸吠叫，田野间小鹿静静地跃过，所有的一切都在秋天清晨的薄雾中半隐半现。Alongtheroads,laurel,viburnumandalder,greatfernsandwildflowersdelightedthetraveler'seyethroughmuchoftheyear.Eveninwintertheroadsideswereplacesofbeauty,wherecountlessbirdscametofeedontheberriesandontheseedheadsofthedriedweedsrisingabovethesnow.Thecountrysidewas,infact,famousfortheabundanceandvarietyofitsbirdlife,andwhenthefloodofmigrantswaspouringthroughinspringandfallpeopletraveledfromgreatdistancestoobservethem.Otherscametofishthestreams,whichflowedclearandcoldoutofthehillsandcontainedshadypoolswheretroutlay.Soithadbeenfromthedaysmanyyearsagowhenthefirstsettlersraisedtheirhouses,sanktheirwells,andbuilttheirbarns.在路的两旁，一年中许多时候，月桂树、荚莲、桤木、蕨类植物和各样的野花都能让过往的行人赏心悦目。即使是冬天，路边的景色依旧是美不胜收，那里无数的小鸟来觅取浆果莓和露在雪地上的枯枝上的种子。事实上，这乡村正是由于鸟类的数量和种类之繁多而出名的。在候鸟群潮涌而来的春秋季节，人们从大老远的地方慕名前来欣赏。还有的人来这里的小溪垂钓。清冽的溪水从山中流出，溪水中有许多鳟鱼藏身的背阴的水潭。所以，从许多年前开始，第一批居住者就在这里盖房挖井，搭起了自己的谷仓。Thenastrangeblightcreptovertheareaandeverythingbegantochange.Someevilspellhadsettledonthecommunity:mysteriousmaladiesswepttheflocksofchickens;thecattleandsheepsickenedanddied.Everywherewasashadowofdeath.Thefarmersspokeofmuchillnessamongtheirfamilies.Inthetownthedoctorshadbecomemoreandmorepuzzledbynewkindsofsicknessappearingamongtheirpatients.Therehadbeenseveralsuddenandunexplaineddeaths,notonlyamongadultsbutevenamongchildren,whowouldbestrickensuddenlywhileatplayanddiewithinafewhours.后来，一种奇怪的摧毁力悄然袭击了这个地区，所有的一切都开始变了。某种邪恶的符咒笼罩了这个社区：神秘的疾病攻击了鸡群，牛、羊也纷纷病死，到处都有一层死亡的阴影。农夫们谈论着家中的许多疾病；镇上的医生也越来越因病人中出现的新的病症而感到迷惑。在成人和孩子中发生了好几起突发的不明其由的死亡，那些孩子在玩耍中突然病倒，几小时后就死去了。Therewasastrangestillness.Thebirds,forexample-wherehadtheygone?Manypeoplespokeofthem,puzzledanddisturbed.Thefeedingstationsinthebackyardsweredeserted.Thefewbirdsseenanywhereweremoribund;theytrembledviolentlyandcouldnotfly.Itwasaspringwithoutvoices.Onthemorningsthathadoncethrobbedwiththedawnchorusofrobins,catbirds,doves,jays,wrens,andscoresofotherbirdvoicestherewasnownosound;onlysilencelayoverthefieldsandwoodsandmarsh.这里是一派奇怪的寂静。就说鸟儿们吧它们都去哪儿了？许多人说起鸟儿的时候都充满了迷惑与不安。他们后院的饲养站已经没有鸟儿光顾了。随处能见到的几只鸟都奄奄一息。他们猛烈地颤抖，却飞不起来。这是一个无声的春天。曾经是震动着画眉鸟、猫鸟、鸽子、樫鸟、欧鹪和许多鸟儿的黎明合唱声的清晨如今却寂然无声。田野间、树林中和沼泽地里也是一片寂静。Onthefarmsthehensbrooded,butnochickshatched.Thefarmerscomplainedthattheywereunabletoraiseanypigs-thelittersweresmallandtheyoungsurvivedonlyafewdays.Theappletreeswerecomingintobloombutnobeesdronedamongtheblossoms,sotherewasnopollinationandtherewouldbenofruit.在农庄，母鸡下蛋却孵不出小鸡。农夫们抱怨无法养猪，因为刚生下的猪崽太小了，小猪也只能活几天的功夫。苹果树开花了，可是没有蜜蜂在花丛中嗡嗡地采蜜，没有蜜蜂的授粉，也就没有任何果子。Theroadsides,oncesoattractive,werenowlinedwithbrownedandwitheredvegetationasthoughsweptbyfire.These,too,weresilent,desertedbyalllivingthings.Eventhestreamswerenowlifeless.Anglersnolongervisitedthem,forallthefishhaddied.曾经是如此迷人的路旁如今却铺着黑黑的枯干的草木，仿佛是被一场大火烧过一般。那里也是一片寂静，因为所有的生物都遗弃了它。即使是溪流中也没有了生命。因为所有的鱼都已经死了，垂钓者也就不再来了。Intheguttersundertheeavesandbetweentheshinglesoftheroofs,awhitegranularpowderstillshowedafewpatches;someweeksbeforeithadfallenlikesnowupontheroofsandthelawns,thefieldsandstreams.在屋檐下的天沟里，屋顶的木瓦之间仍旧可见几片白色的粒状的粉末。几个星期之前，它像白雪一样洒在了屋顶上、草地上、田野里和溪流里。Nowitchcraft,noenemyactionhadsilencedtherebirthofnewlifeinthisstrickenworld.Thepeoplehaddoneitthemselves.在这个遭受袭击的地球上，没有巫术，也没有敌人的行动抑制了新生命的复苏；这一切都是人自身造成的。Sincethemid-1940's,over500basicchemicalshavebeencreatedforuseinkillinginsects,weeds,rodents,andotherorganismsdescribedinthemodernvernacularas"pests",andtheyaresoldunderthousanddifferentbrandnames.自20世纪40年代中期起，人们制造了500多种基本的化学药品来杀死在现代语言中被称作"害虫"的昆虫、杂草、啮齿动物和其他的生物体，以几千种的品牌名称来出售它们。Thesesprays,dusts,andaerosolsarenowappliedalmostuniversallytofarms,gardens,forests,andhomes-nonselectivechemicalsthathavethepowertokilleveryinsect,the"good"andthe"bad,"tostillthesongofbirdsandtheleapingoffishinthestreams,tocoattheleaveswithadeadlyfilm,andtolingeroninsoil-allthisthoughtheintendedtargetmaybeonlyafewweedsorinsects.Cananyonebelieveitispossibletolaydownsuchabarrageofpoisonsonthesurfaceoftheearthwithoutmakingitunfitforalllife?这些液体喷剂、粉末和雾状喷剂现在几乎普遍使用于农庄、花园、森林和家庭。非选择性的化学药品能杀死每只昆虫（不管是"好"的还是"坏"的），能使鸟儿不再歌唱，溪流中的鱼儿不再跳跃，能在树叶上覆盖一层致命的薄膜，并能存留在土地中。而造成这一切的预定的目标可能仅仅是一些杂草和昆虫。难道真的有人认为，我们在地球的表面撒下如此多的毒药，同时还能使它继续成为一个任何生命都能存活的地方吗？Thistowndoesnotactuallyexist,butitmighteasilyhaveathousandcounterpartsinAmericaorelsewhereintheworld.IknowofnocommunitythathasexperiencedallthemisfortunesIdescribe.Yeteveryoneofthesedisastershasactuallyhappenedsomewhere,andmanyrealcommunitieshavealreadysufferedasubstantialnumberofthem.Agrimspecterhascreptuponusalmostunnoticed,andthisimaginedtragedymayeasilybecomeastarkrealityweallshallknow.这个小镇事实上并不存在，但是在美国或地球的别的地方我们能轻易地找到一千个与它对应的地方。我知道没有一个社区经历了我所描述的所有不幸，但是其中的每一个灾难都已经在某个地方发生了，许多社区已经遭受了相当多的灾难。一个冷酷的幽灵几乎是在不经意间已悄悄向我们走来了，而这个想像的悲剧也许很容易就成为一个我们都应该知道的严酷的事实。TextBWatermustalsobethoughtofintermsofthechainsoflifeitsupports-fromthesmall-as-dustgreencellsofthedriftingplantplankton,throughtheminutewaterfleastothefishesthatstrainplanktonfromthewaterandareinturneatenbyotherfishesorbybirds,mink,raccoons-inanendlesscyclictransferofmaterialsfromlifetolife.Weknowthatthenecessarymineralsinthewateraresopassedfromlinktolinkofthefoodchains.Canwesupposethatpoisonsweintroduceintowaterwillnotalsoenterintothesecyclesofnature?我们考虑水的时候必须想到它所维持的生命链：从一个漂浮着的浮游植物尘土般微小的绿色细胞，通过细小的水蚤进入到那些将浮游生物从水中滤出的鱼，它们自身又被其他的鱼或者鸟、貂、浣熊所吃，这就是一个无止境的从生命到生命的物质的循环传输。既然我们知道水中必需的矿物质是从食物链中的一环传给一环的，我们怎能认为投入水中的毒药不会也进入这些自然的循环中呢？TheansweristobefoundintheamazinghistoryofClearLake,California.ClearLakeliesinmountainouscountrysome90milesnorthofSanFranciscoandhaslongbeenpopularwithanglers.Thenameisinappropriate,foractuallyitisaratherturbidlakebecauseofthesoftblackoozethatcoversitsshallowbottom.Unfortunatelyforthefishermenandtheresortdwellersonitsshores,itswatershaveprovidedanidealhabitatforasmallgnat,Chaoborusastictopus.Althoughcloselyrelatedtomosquitoes,thegnatisnotabloodsuckerandprobablydoesnotfeedatallasanadult.However,humanbeingswhoshareditshabitatfounditannoyingbecauseofitssheernumbers.Effortsweremadetocontrolitbuttheywerelargelyfruitlessuntil,inthelate1940s,thechlorinatedhydrocarboninsecticidesofferednewweapons.ThechemicalchosenforafreshattackwasDDD,acloserelativeofDDTbutapparentlyofferingfewerthreatstofishlife.答案就在位于加利福尼亚州的清水湖的令人惊异的历史中。清水湖位于旧金山北大约90英里处的山村，很久以来一直很受垂钓者的欢迎。不过，这名字并不恰当，因为它其实是个相当混浊不清的湖，浅浅的湖底铺满了黑色的软泥浆。但是对于渔民和居住在岸边的度假胜地的人来说不幸的是，湖水为一种名叫幽灵蚊的小昆虫提供了理想的栖息处。这种昆虫虽然与蚊子紧密相关，但是它并不吸血，而且成年后可能就不摄入食物了。然而，与它共处一地的人类还是仅仅因为这种虫子的数量惊人而感到恼火。虽然他们使用了各种方法来控制，但是基本上都是毫无成效。直到20世纪40年代末，氯化碳氢化合物杀虫剂提供了新的武器。他们选择作为新一轮进攻的化学药品叫DDD，它是DDT的一个近亲，但是对鱼类的生存威胁似乎小些。Thenewcontrolmeasuresundertakenin1949werecarefullyplannedandfewpeoplewouldhavesupposedanyharmcouldresult.Thelakewassurveyed,itsvolumedetermined,andtheinsecticideappliedinsuchgreatdilutionthatforeverypartofchemicaltherewouldbe70millionpartsofwater.Controlofthegnatswasatfirstgood,butby1954thetreatmenthadtoberepeated,thistimeattherateofonepartofinsecticidein50millionpartsofwater.Thedestructionofthegnatswasthoughttobevirtuallycomplete.1949年采取的新的控制措施事先经过了仔细的计划，很少有人认为它会造成什么伤害。人们勘查了湖泊，测定了体积，又将杀虫剂在水中经过了70，000，000:1的大比例的稀释后才付诸使用。这对小昆虫的控制一开始不错，但是到了1954年这种处理不得不再重复一次，而这一次则是按50，000，000:1的比例使用的。如此，人们认为对昆虫的摧毁已基本告成了。Thefollowingwintermonthsbroughtthefirstintimationthatotherlifewasaffected:thewesterngrebesonthelakebegantodie,andsoonmorethanahundredofthemwerereporteddead.AtClearLakethewesterngrebeisabreedingbirdandalsoawintervisitant,attractedbytheabundantfishofthelake.Itisabirdofspectacularappearanceandbeguilinghabits,buildingitsfloatingnestsinshallowlakesofwesternUnitedStatesandCanada.Itiscalledthe"swangrebe"withreason,foritglideswithscarcelyarippleacrossthelakesurface,thebodyridinglow,whiteneckandshiningblackheadheldhigh.Thenewlyhatchedchickisclothedinsoftgraydown;inonlyafewhoursittakestothewaterandridesonthebackofthefatherormother,nestledundertheparentalwingcoverts.接下来的冬季使人们第一次意识到其他生命也受到影响了：湖上的西开始死去，不久又有一百多只死了。西被清水湖中大量的鱼吸引，在此繁殖，冬天又来此栖息。这种鸟有着漂亮的外观和迷人的习性，在美国西部和加拿大的浅水湖中筑造它们漂浮的巢。它被称作"燕子"是有道理的，因为它滑过湖面时几乎不漾起一点微波，身体压得低低的，脖颈洁白，油黑发亮的头高高地扬着。刚刚孵出的小鸟浑身披着柔软的灰色绒毛，几个小时以后它就喜欢上了湖水，伏在爸爸妈妈的背上，依偎在它们的翅膀底下。Followingathirdassaultontheever-resilientgnatpopulation,in1957,moregrebesdied.Ashadbeentruein1954,noevidenceofinfectiousdiseasecouldbediscoveredonexaminationofthedeadbirds.Butwhensomethoughttoanalyzethefattytissuesofthegrebes,theywerefoundtobeloadedwithDDDintheextraordinaryconcentrationof1600partspermillion.接着，对总是能恢复原数目的小昆虫发动了第三次攻击后，1957年，更多的西死去了。正如1954年的情况一样，对死鸟的检查中，没有发现传染病的证据。但是当有人想到要对它们的脂肪组织进行分析时，却在那儿找到了1600:1，000，000的高浓度的DDD。Themaximumconcentrationappliedtothewaterwas1/50partpermillion.Howcouldthechemicalhavebuiltuptosuchprodigiouslevelsinthegrebes?Thesebirds,ofcourse,arefisheaters.WhenthefishofClearLakealsowereanalyzedthepicturebegantotakeform-thepoisonbeingpickedupbythesmallestorganisms,concentratedandpassedontothelargerpredators.Planktonorganismswerefoundtocontainabout5partspermillionoftheinsecticide(about250timesthemaximumconcentrationeverreachedinthewateritself);plant-eatingfisheshadbuiltupaccumulationsrangingfrom40to300partspermillion;carnivorousspecieshadstoredthemostofall.One,abrownbullhead,hadtheastoundingconcentrationof2500partspermillion.Itwasahouse-that-Jack-builtsequence,inwhichthelargecarnivoreshadeatenthesmallercarnivores,thathadeatentheherbivores,thathadeatentheplankton,thathadabsorbedthepoisonfromthewater.投放湖水中的最高浓度是1/50:1，000，000，那药品又是如何在西体中积累到如此高的浓度呢？这些鸟当然是食鱼的。当人们又分析了清水湖中的鱼类后，实情开始变得清晰了：最小的有机体摄入了毒药，集中后又传给更大的捕食动物。浮游生物有机体的体中大约含有5:1，000，000的杀虫剂（这数字大约是投放水中的最高浓度的250倍）；食草的鱼类体中积累到40:1，000，000到300:1，000，000；食肉鱼类的体中积累了最多的杀虫剂成分。一次，一条牛头鱼体中发现了2500:1，000，000的惊人的浓度。这是一个连环套：大的食肉动物吃小的食肉动物，小的食肉动物吃食草动物，食草动物吃浮游生物，浮游生物从水中吸收毒药。Evenmoreextraordinarydiscoveriesweremadelater.NotraceofDDDcouldbefoundinthewatershortlyafterthelastapplicationofthechemical.Butthepoisonhadnotreallyleftthelake;ithadmerelygoneintothefabricofthelifethelakesupports.Twenty-threemonthsafterthechemicaltreatmenthadceased,theplanktonstillcontainedasmuchas5.3partspermillion.Inthatintervalofnearlytwoyears,successivecropsofplanktonhadfloweredandfadedaway,butthepoison,althoughnolongerpresentinthewater,hadsomehowpassedfromgenerationtogeneration.Anditlivedonintheanimallifeofthelakeaswell.Allfish,birds,andfrogsexaminedayearafterthechemicalapplicationshadceasedstillcontainedDDD.Theamountfoundinthefleshalwaysexceededbymanytimestheoriginalconcentrationinthewater.AmongtheselivingcarrierswerefishthathadhatchedninemonthsafterthelastDDDapplication,grebes,andCaliforniagullsthathadbuiltupconcentrationsofmorethan2000partspermillion.Meanwhile,thenestingcoloniesofthegrebesdwindled-frommorethan1000pairsbeforethefirstinsecticidetreatmenttoabout30pairsin1960.Andeventhethirtyseemtohavenestedinvain,fornoyounggrebeshavebeenobservedonthelakesincethelastDDDapplication.后来的发现更是奇特：在向湖水投放最后一次药品以后不久，水中并没有发现丝毫的DDD的痕迹，但是这毒药并没有真正离开清水湖，它只不过是进入了靠湖水维持的生命结构里面。在停止用药23个月以后，浮游生物仍旧含有5.3:1，000，000浓度的药品。在那段将近两年的时间里，浮游生物花开花谢，但是在水中不再存在的毒药却不知为什么，在浮游生物中一代一代地传了下来。同样，它也存活在湖中的动物生命体中。在停止用药一年后，所有被检查的鱼、鸟、和青蛙都含有DDD，而且在它们的体中发现的含量总是高出原来向湖中投放的浓度的许多倍。在这些活载体中有上一次投放DDD九个月后孵出的鱼、西，而在加利福尼亚海鸥的体中积累了高于2，000:1，000，000浓度的药品。与此同时，在此作巢的西群从第一次投放杀虫剂前的1，000多对减少到1960年的30对左右，而即使这30对似乎也是徒然作巢，因为自从上一次使用DDD以后，湖上就再也没有看到小西了。Thiswholechainofpoisoning,then,seemstorestonabaseofminuteplantswhichmusthavebeentheoriginalconcentrators.Butwhatoftheoppositeendofthefoodchain-thehumanbeingwho,inprobableignoranceofallthissequenceofevents,hasriggedhisfishingtackle,caughtastringoffishfromthewatersofClearLake,andtakenthemhometofryforhissupper?WhatcouldaheavydoseofDDD,orperhapsrepeateddoses,dotohim?这一连串的中毒似乎是取决于最先积聚毒性的细小植物，然而对于位于食物链的另一端的人类又将会怎么样呢？他可能根本不知道这一系列的事件，他装备了鱼具，从清水湖中钓起了一串鱼，带回家煎了做晚餐。大剂量的DDD，或者是反复的剂量，对他又会造成什么后果呢？AlthoughtheCaliforniaDepartmentofPublicHealthprofessedtoseenohazard,neverthelessin1959itrequiredthattheuseofDDDinthelakebestopped.Inviewofthescientificevidenceofthevastbiologicalpotencyofthischemical,theactionseemsaminimumsafetymeasure.ThephysiologicaleffectofDDDisprobablyuniqueamonginsecticides,foritdestroyspartoftheadrenalgland-thecellsoftheouterlayerknownastheadrenalcortex,whichsecretesthehormonecortin.Thisdestructiveeffect,knownsince1948,wasatfirstbelievedtobeconfinedtodogs,becauseitwasnotrevealedinsuchexperimentalanimalsasmonkeys,rats,orrabbits.Itseemedsuggestive,however,thatDDDproducedindogsaconditionverysimilartothatoccurringinmaninthepresenceofAddison'sdisease.RecentmedicalresearchhasrevealedthatDDDdoesstronglysuppressthefunctionofthehumanadrenalcortex.Itscelldestroyingcapacityisnowclinicallyutilizedinthetreatmentofararetypeofcancer,whichdevelopsintheadrenalgland.虽然加利福尼亚州的公共卫生部门曾声称没有任何危险，但在1959年，它仍然要求停止向清水湖投放DDD。鉴于这种药品经科学证明具有巨大的生物效力，这种措施看起来是起码的安全措施。在杀虫剂中，DDD的生理效果可能是独一无二的，因为它摧毁了部分肾上腺，就是分泌皮质荷尔蒙的肾皮质的外层细胞。自1948年这种摧毁力为人们所知以来，它起初被认为只限于作用在狗身上，因为它在猴子、老鼠、兔子这样的实验动物身上并没有体现出来。然而DDD在狗身上造成了一种与人患有阿狄森氏病非常相似的症状，这是很有启发性的。最近的医学研究表明DDD确实具有强烈抑制了人类肾上皮质的作用，它的这种摧毁细胞的能力已经在治疗一种生于肾上腺的罕见癌症上得到临床使用。Unit2TextAItwasaveryhappyfuneral,agreatsuccess.EventhesunshonethatdayforthelateHenryGround.Lyinginhiscoffin,hewasprobablyenjoyinghimselftoo.Oncemore,andforthelasttimeonthisearth,hewasthecentreofattention.Yes,itwasaveryjollyaffair.Peoplelaughedandtoldeachotherjokes.Relativeswhohadnotspokenforyearssmiledateachotherandpromisedtostayintouch.And,ofcourse,everyonehadafavouritestorytotellaboutHenry.这是一个非常欢快的葬礼，一个巨大的成功。就连天上的太阳都为刚刚过世的亨利·格兰德灿烂地照耀着。躺在棺材里的亨利或许也在欣赏自己。在这个世界里最后一次，他，亨利又一次成为人们关注的中心。是的，这真是一件非常愉快的事情。人们笑着，彼此讲着笑话。多少年不来往的亲戚们相互微笑着，承诺今后保持联络。并且，当然，每个人都有自己最为得意的关于亨利的笑话。"Iwasoncehavingdinnerwithhiminaposhrestaurant.Whenthewine-waiterbroughtthewine,hepouredadropintoHenry'sglassandwaitedwithasuperiorexpressiononhisface,asiftosay'Tasteit,youpeasant.It'sclearthatyouknownothingaboutwine.'SoHenry,insteadoftastingit,thewayanynormalpersonwoulddo,dippedhisthumbandforefingerintothewine.Thenheputhishandtohisearandrolledhisforefingerandthumbtogetherasifhewerelisteningtothequalityofthewine!Thenhenoddedtothewine-waitersolemnly,asiftosay'Yes,that'sfine.Youmayserveit.'Youshouldhaveseenthewine-waiter'sface!AndhowHenrymanagedtokeepastraightface,I'llneverknow!""有一次我们俩在一家豪华的饭店吃饭。送酒的服务生走过来，倒了一点酒到亨利的杯子里，然后等在一旁，满脸高人一等的表情，仿佛在说：'尝尝吧，乡巴佬。很显然你根本不了解葡萄酒。'亨利没有去尝酒，在这种场合人们通常都会尝一下。而他却用拇指和食指在酒里沾了一下，接着把手放到耳边，捻动起食指和拇指，仿佛在聆听酒的质量。之后他朝送酒的服务生严肃地点点头，仿佛在说：'是的，不错。你可以上酒了。'你真该去看一看那个服务生的脸！真不知道亨利怎么能绷着脸忍住不笑的。""Yes,oldHenrylovedtopullpeople'slegs.Once,whenhewasinvitedtoanexhibitionofsomeabstractmodernpainter'slatestwork,hemanagedsomehowtogetinthedaybeforeandturnallthepaintingsupsidedown.Theexhibitionranforfourdaysbeforeanyonenoticed!"..."是啊，老亨利就是爱捉弄人。有一次，他被邀请去参观一个现代抽象派画家的近期作品展览，他居然设法提前一天进入展览馆，把所有的画都颠倒过来。结果画展进行了四天，楞没有人发现。……"Thestorieswentonevenwhilethecoffinwasbeingloweredintothegrave.Peopleheldhandkerchiefstotheireyes,buttheirtearsweretearsoflaughter,notsadness.Afterwards,therewasafuneralbreakfast,byinvitationonly.ItwasattendedbytwelveofHenry'sclosestfriends.HenryGroundhadaskedhisbrother,Colin,toreadouthiswillduringthefuneralbreakfast.EveryonewascuriousaboutHenryGround'swill.Henryhadbeenindebtallhislife,hadn'the?Whatcouldhepossiblyhavetoleaveinawill?笑话一个接着一个，连棺材被放入墓穴时都没有停止。人们拿手帕去擦脸、擦眼睛，擦掉的不是悲伤的眼泪，而是笑出的眼泪。稍后，是葬礼早餐，只有接到请柬的人能够参加。出席者是亨利的十二位最好的朋友。亨利·格兰德曾嘱咐弟弟柯林在葬礼早餐上宣读他的遗嘱。每个人都想知道亨利的遗嘱会是什么内容。亨利可是一辈子债台高筑，不是吗？他的遗嘱里还能留什么东西？Colinclearedhisthroat."Ahem!Ifyouareready,ladiesandgentlemen."Everyonesettleddownexpectantly.Colinopenedthewill,andbegantoreaditoutinasingsongvoice.柯林清了清嗓子，"呃哼！你们都准备好了吧，女士们，先生们。"每个人都安静下来，期待着。柯林打开遗嘱，开始一板一眼地大声宣读："I,HenryGround,beingofsoundmind...lastwillandtestament...doherebybequeath...""我，亨利·格兰德，心智正常……特立遗嘱……将此传与……"Thelegalphrasesrolledonandon,andtheaudiencegrewimpatienttogettotheimportantpart.Itcamesoonenough.WhenColinannouncedthatHenryGround,despitehisreputationasagood-for-nothing,hadinvestedhismoneyverywisely,andwasinfactworthatleastthree-quartersofamillion,everyonegasped.Butwhowasgoingtogetit?Eyesnarrowedandthroatswentdry.法律术语滚滚而来，听众有些不耐烦，急着听关键的部分。很快就到了。当柯林宣布亨利·格兰德虽然声名不好，一直被认为游手好闲，一事无成，但却聪明地将钱做了投资，现在实际上有价值至少七十五万的遗产时，每个人都倒吸了一口气。不过，谁将得到这笔钱呢？所有人的眼睛都眯起来，喉咙开始发干。"Youareallsuchdearfriendsofmine,"Colinwenton,readingoutHenryGround'swordsinamonotone,which,inothercircumstances,wouldhavesenteveryonetosleep,"thatIcannotdecidewhichofyoutoleavemymoneyto."Colinpaused.Inthesilence,youcouldhaveheardapindrop.Heresumed."So,dearfriends,Ihavesetyoualittlecompetition.Eachofyouinturnmusttellthefunniestjokeheorshecanthinkof,andtheonewhogetsthemostlaughterwillinheritmyfortune.Colinwillbethesolejudgeofthebestjoke.""你们都是我这么好的朋友，"柯林接着往下读着亨利·格兰德的遗言，那种单调的语调，换任何别的场合早叫人听得睡着了。"我真无法决定该将我的钱留给你们当中的哪一个。"柯林停顿了一下。周围一片沉寂，要是有根针掉到地上也能听得见。他接着念道，"所以，亲爱的朋友们，我给你们设立了一场小小的比赛。你们每个人都要轮流讲一个你认为最滑稽的笑话。谁的笑话得到的笑声最多，谁将继承我的财产。柯林将作为惟一裁判，遴选出最佳笑话。""So,ladiesandgentlemen,"saidColin,puttingthewilldownonthetable,"it'suptoyounow.Whowillgofirst?MayIsuggestthatyougoinalphabeticalorderofsurnames?""所以，女士们，先生们，"柯林把遗嘱放在桌上，说道，"现在全看你们的了。谁第一个讲呢？我可不可以建议你们按姓氏字母顺序进行呢？"ThefirstpersonstoodupandtoldaveryfunnyjokeaboutanEnglishmanwhofellinlovewithhisumbrella.Whenhefinished,hewasintearsoflaughter,forhealwayslaughedathisownjokes.Therestofthecompanyremainedabsolutelysilent.Youcouldtellfromtheirredfacesandtheirscrewed-upeyesthattheyfoundthejokefunny,butnotoneofthemwaspreparedtolaugh,andgivehimthechancetowinthecompetition.Thesecondtoldastoryaboutathree-leggedpig,whichwassogoodthat,someyearslater,MGMmadeacartoonofit.Whenshesatdown,theothersburiedtheirfacesintheirhandkerchiefs,coughed,pretendedtosneeze,droppedpencilsunderthetable,anythingtocoveruptheirlaughter.Andsoitwenton,jokeafterwonderfuljoke,thesortofjokesthatmakeyoursidesache.Andnobodydaredtolaugh!第一个人站起来，他讲的是一个英国人爱上自己的雨伞的笑话。笑话很滑稽。讲完以后，他笑得眼泪直流，因为他总是对自己的笑话大笑不已。周围的人保持着绝对的安静。从他们涨红的脸膛和上翻的眼睛你可以看出，他们觉得这个笑话可笑极了。但是没有一个人准备笑，他们决不会给他赢得比赛的机会。第二个人讲的是一只三条腿的猪的笑话。这个笑话棒极了，几年后米高梅公司根据这个笑话整理了一部卡通片。她坐下后，其他人都把脸埋进手帕里，咳嗽，假装打喷嚏，有的装作到桌子下面找铅笔，凡此种种用以遮掩自己的笑声。于是，情形就这样继续着，一个笑话接着一个笑话，都是能让人笑痛肚子的笑话，可是没有一个人笑出声来。Youknowwhatit'slikewhenyouwanttolaugh,butcannot.Ithappensinclassroomsallthetime.Somebodystartstogiggle,andthentriestostop.Immediatelythreeorfourotherswillwanttogiggle.Thedesiretolaughspreadslikeaninfection,andsoontheentireclassischoking,whiletheteacherlooksroundbaffled,wonderingwhatallthesnufflingnoisesare.你知道想笑但又不能笑是怎样一种情景。教室里经常发生这样的事。开始一个人咯咯两声，接下来拼命想憋住不笑。马上就会有三四个人也想笑出声来。想笑的欲望就像传染病一样，很快整个班里一片吭哧之声。而老师则四处张望，不知道那一片抽鼻子的声音是怎么回事。Well,bythetimethelastjokehadbeentold,everyoneofthetwelvewassittingperfectlystill,desperatelyholdinginthelaughterwhichwasburstingtogetout.Theirsuppressedlaughterhadbuiltupsuchapressure:itwaslikeavolcanoreadytoerupt.不过，到最后一个笑话讲完，全体十二个人都静静地坐着，拼命憋着随时可以迸发的笑声。他们压抑的笑聚集成一种巨大的压力：就像一座随时准备喷发的火山。Silence.Painfulsilence.沉默，痛苦的沉默。Suddenly,Colinsneezed.Aperfectlyordinarysneeze.Atishoo.Thenhetookoutaridiculouslylargespotted-redhandkerchiefandblewhisnose.Bbbrrrrrrppp.突然，柯林打了个喷嚏。一个再平常不过的喷嚏了。啊……嚏……接着他拿出一块巨大无比的红点手帕揩鼻子。哼……啵……Thatwasenough.Someoneburstoutlaughing,unabletoholditinanylonger.Thatstartedtheothersoff.Innotime,everyonewasdoubledup,tearsstreamingfromtheireyes,theirshouldersheavingaswaveafterwaveoflaughtereruptedlikelavafromavolcano.Ofcourse,theywerenotjustlaughingatthesneeze,norevenatthetwelvejokes.No,theywerelaughingatthemselvesasitdawnedonthemthatHenryGroundhadledthemintohislast,andfunniest,practicaljoke,settingtheirneedtolaughagainsttheirgreedformoney.这就够了。有一个人再也憋不住突然大笑起来，其他人全都跟着笑了。顷刻之间，大家笑弯了腰，眼泪顺着脸颊流淌下来。随着一波一波的笑声，他们的肩膀起伏着。那笑声就像火山的熔岩一般不停地喷发着。当然，大家笑的不是柯林的喷嚏，甚至也不是他们那十二个笑话。不，他们在笑自己，因为他们都明白了，亨利·格兰德把他们拉进了他一生中最后的也是最滑稽的恶作剧，让他们用自己对笑的需求来抵御对金钱的贪欲。When,atlonglast,thelaughterdieddown,Colinclearedhisthroatoncemore."Forgivemylittlepieceoftheatre,"hesaid,hiseyestwinkling."Ihavebeenpractisingthatsneezeforaweekormore."Hefoldedtheenormoushandkerchiefandstuffeditintohispocket."Henry'sidea,ofcourse,"headded,unnecessarily:alltwelveguestsrealisedtheyhadbeensetupbeautifully.过了很久，终于，笑声平息下来，柯林又清了清嗓子。"请原谅我这个小小的戏剧表演，"他说着，眨了眨眼睛，"这个喷嚏我练了一个星期了。"他把那块巨大的手帕叠起来，塞回到口袋里。"亨利的主意，"他补充说。其实这个补充已经没有必要了，所有十二个客人都明白：他们这次又被老亨利漂漂亮亮地耍了一把。"Ahem!MayIreadyoutherestofthewillnow?"Colinasked."嗯哼！请允许我将遗嘱的剩余部分读完，好吗？"柯林问道。"Myfriends,"thelastparagraphbegan,"forgiveme,butIcouldn'tresistplayingonelastlittlejokeonyou.It'sgoodtoknowthatyourloveoflaughterfinallyovercameyourloveofmoney.""我的朋友，"最后一段开始了，"原谅我，但我实在忍不住要跟你们开最后一个小小的玩笑。知道你们对笑的热爱最终战胜了你们对金钱的热爱，这真是好极了。"Colinpaused,lettingthemeaningofthewordssinkin.ThenhereadoutthefinalpartofthelateHenryGround'slastwillandtestament.柯林顿了顿，让人们慢慢地领悟这句话的意思。接着他大声读出刚刚过世的亨利·格兰德遗嘱的最后一部分。"Myfriends,thankyouforlettingmehavethelastlaugh.Asforthemoney:becauseIloveyouall,myfortunewillbedividedequallyamongyou.Enjoyyourshare,andthinkofmewheneveryouhearlaughter.""我的朋友们，感谢你们让我听到这最后的笑声。至于钱，因为我爱你们每一个人，我的财产将平分给你们。享受你自己的一份，并记住在每次听到笑声时想想我吧。"Thecompanyfellsilent.Forthefirsttimethatday,therewasafeelingofsadnessintheair.大家一片沉寂。那一天里第一次，空气中漫起了一丝悲伤。TextBThepolicemanonthebeatmoveduptheavenueimpressively.Theimpressivenesswashabitualandnotforshow,forspectatorswerefew.Thetimewasbarely10o'clockatnight,butchillygustsofwindwithatasteofraininthemhadwell-neighdepeopledthestreets.巡逻的警察沿着大街庄严地巡视着。那种庄严是习惯性的，并不是为了炫耀，因为街上行人很少。时间差不多是晚上十点钟了。一阵阵寒风夹杂着细雨使得街上几乎空无一人。Tryingdoorsashewent,twirlinghisclubwithmanyintricateandartfulmovements,turningnowandthentocasthiswatchfuleyesadownthepacificthoroughfare,theofficer,withhisstalwartformandslightswagger,madeafinepictureofaguardianofthepeace.Thevicinitywasonethatkeptearlyhours.Nowandthenyoumightseethelightsofacigarstoreorofanall-nightlunchcounter;butthemajorityofthedoorsbelongedtobusinessplacesthathadlongsincebeenclosed.警察一边走一边推一推各家的门（看是否关紧）。手里的警棍不停地转动着，玩出各种复杂的花样。他不时地将警觉的眼睛投向这条平静的大街。这名警察，用他高大结实的身形和昂首挺胸的神态，塑造了一位和平卫士的形象。周围这片地方的人们喜欢早起早睡。偶尔你或许会看到某个烟店或通宵食品柜台还亮着灯。但是商业区里的大部分门都早已关上了。Whenaboutmidwayofacertainblockthepolicemansuddenlyslowedhiswalk.Inthedoorwayofadarkenedhardwarestoreamanleaned,withanunlightedcigarinhismouth.Asthepolicemanwalkeduptohimthemanspokeupquickly.走到某个街区中间的时候，警察突然放慢了脚步。在一家已关了灯的五金店门口倚靠着一名男子，嘴上叼着一支没有点燃的香烟。警察朝他走过去，这个人立刻响亮地说："It'sallright,officer,"hesaid,reassuringly."I'mjustwaitingforafriend.It'sanappointmentmadetwentyyearsago.Soundsalittlefunnytoyou,doesn'tit?Well,I'llexplainifyou'dliketomakecertainit'sallstraight.Aboutthatlongagothereusedtobearestaurantwherethisstorestands-'BigJoe'Brady'srestaurant.""警官，没事，"口气中带着安慰。"我在这儿等一位朋友。是二十年前约好的。怎么，你觉得有点滑稽，是吧？喔，好吧，如果你真想弄清楚我是不是说了实话，请听我一一说来。大约那么长时间以前，在现在这家小店这个地方曾经有一家饭店就是'大乔'布雷德饭店。""Untilfiveyearsago,"saidthepoliceman."Itwastorndownthen.""一直到五年前，"警察说，"那时它被拆掉了。"Themaninthedoorwaystruckamatchandlithiscigar.Thelightshowedapale,square-jawedfacewithkeeneyes,andalittlewhitescarnearhisrighteyebrow.Hisscarfpinwasalargediamond,oddlyset.门口站的人划着火柴，点着香烟。火光里映出的是一张苍白的方形脸膛，一双敏锐的眼睛，右边眉毛上一条小小的白色伤疤。领带夹上是一颗大大的钻石，式样很古怪。"Twentyyearsagotonight,"saidtheman,"Idinedhereat'BigJoe'Brady'swithJimmyWells,mybestchum,andthefinestchapintheworld.HeandIwereraisedhereinNewYork,justliketwobrothers,together.IwaseighteenandJimmywastwenty.ThenextmorningIwastostartfortheWesttomakemyfortune.Youcouldn'thavedraggedJimmyoutofNewYork;hethoughtitwastheonlyplaceonearth.Well,weagreedthatnightthatwewouldmeethereagainexactlytwentyyearsfromthatdateandtime,nomatterwhatourconditionsmightbeorfromwhatdistancewemighthavetocome.Wefiguredthatintwentyyearseachofusoughttohaveourdestinyworkedoutandourfortunesmade,whatevertheyweregoingtobe.""二十