美国文学史汉译22

第五章

美国文学史汉译第一节第二节第三节第四节第一节61-65Original61:ThefirstAmericanliteraturewasneitherAmericannorreallyliterature.ItwasnotAmericanbecauseitwastheworkmainlyofimmigrantsfromEngland.Itwasnotliteratureasweknowit—intheformofpoetry,essays,orfiction—butratheraninterestingmixtureoftravelaccountsandreligiouswritings.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(3)Notes(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofthreesentences,ofwhichthefirstisasimplesentencewhilethetwoothersarecomplexsentences.Thesecondsentenceiscomposedofamainclauseandanadverbialclauseofreasonwhilethethirdsentenceiscomposedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.(2)Additionalcomplication:

Inthelastsentence,thereisaparenthesisbetweenthetwodashes.(3)Notes：

Thepartbeforebutinthelastsentencecouldbeunderstoodassomethinglikethis:Itwasnotliterature,inthewayweknowthatliteratureisoftenintheformofpoetry,essays,orfiction.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Thefirsttwoareloosesentencesandthelastisperiodicinthatthepartbetweenthetwodashesservesasaparenthesis.(2)Structuralcomplication：

Theselectionisnotverycomplicatedstructurallythoughthelastsentenceislongerthantheothertwoandsentencepatternsvaryonefromanother.(3)Parallelstructure:

Intheselection,parallelstructuresarefoundasfollows:neitherAmericannorreallyliterature;ItwasnotAmericanbecauseitwastheworkmainlyofimmigrantsfromEngland,itwasnotliteratureasweknowit…;

poetry,essays,orfiction;andtravelaccountsandreligiouswritings.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareused;literatureandAmericanarerepeated;travelaccountsandreligiouswritingsaresemanticallyrelated,andsoon.(4)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,literature,immigrant,mixture,account,religious,andmanyothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:

最初的美国文学既不是美国的，也不是真正的文学。它不是美国文学是因为它主要是从英格兰来的移民的作品。它不是文学是因为正如我们知道的—不是以诗歌、散文或小说的形式出现的—而是些颇有情趣的旅行记载和宗教作品。Comments:

Thisisbasicallyaword-for-wordtranslation,thoughminoradaptationscouldbefoundoccasionally.Thetranslationisacceptable,readableandevenauthentictotheChineseear.Butthisdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatimprovementscannotbemadeonit.B)Translation2:最初的美国文学既不是美国的，也不是真正的文学。不是美国的，是因为它主要是英格兰移民的作品；不是文学，是因为我们知道的文学的形式多为诗歌、散文或小说，而这些作品都是些颇有情趣的旅行记和宗教作品。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,intra-andinter-sententialrearrangementsaremade,clausesarecutshortandcoherenceisenhanced.Consequently,readabilityandauthenticityareimprovedC)Translation3:最初，美国文学既不属于美国，也不是文学。作品大多出自从英格兰来的移民的笔端，不是我们所熟知的诗歌、散文或小说，而是些饶有情趣的旅行记和宗教作品。Comments:Inthepresenttranslation,suchexpressionsasitwasnotAmericanbecause,itwasnotliteratureas,togetherwiththedashes,havedisappearedwithideasgreatlycontracted.Tosome,suchatranslationmaynotbelegitimatebuttoothersitmaybequiteacceptable.Original62:TheearliestcolonialtravelaccountsarerecordsoftheperilsandfrustrationsthatchallengedthecourageofAmerica’sfirstsettlers.WilliamBradford’sHistoryofPlimmothPlantationdescribesthecoldgreetingswhichthepassengersontheshipMayflowerreceivedwhentheylandedonthecoastofAmericain1620:Original62(continued):Beingthusarrivedinagoodharbor,andbroughtsafetoland,theyfellupontheirkneesandBlessedtheGodofHeavenwhohadbroughtthemoverthevastandfuriousocean,anddeliveredthemfromtheperilsandmiseriesthereof,againtosettheirfeetonthefirmandstableearth,theirproperelement...ButhereIcannotstandhalfamazedatthispoorpeople’spresentcondition;andsoIthinkwillthereadertoo,whenhewellconsidersthesame.Beingthuspassedthevastocean,…theyhadnofriendstowelcomethemnorinnstoentertainorrefreshtheirweatherbeatenbodies;norhousesormuchlesstownstorepairto,toseekforsuccour.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(3)Notes(4)Paraphrase(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofanarrativeparagraphandaquotation.Thenarrativeparagraphconsistsoftwosentences,ofwhichthefirstisacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.Thesecondisalsoacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause,inwhichthereisanadverbialclauseoftimeembedded.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thequotationconsistsoftwoparagraphs,ofwhichthefirstparagraphiscomposedofasinglecomplexsentence,whichiscomposedofamainclauseandanattributiveclause.Thesecondparagraphconsistsoftwosentences,ofwhichthefirstisacomplexsentence,composedofamainclause,whichinturnconsistsoftwocoordinateclauses,andanadverbialclauseoftime;andthesecondisasimplesentence.(3)Notes：Inthefirstparagraphofthequotation,thesentencebeginswithaparticiplephrasebeingthusarrived…,whichmeanshavingthusarrived,andatendoftheparagraph,theirproperelementmeanstheproperelementoftheimmigrants,referringtotheearthorsoil.(4)Paraphrase：Thefirstsentenceinthesecondparagraphofthequotationbeginswithaconjunctionandanadverb,andthelastsentenceintheparagraphbeginswithaparticiplephrase,andthewholesentencecanberestructured,andparaphrasedtosomeextent,inthefollowingmanner:havingthuspassedthevastocean,……theyhadnofriendstowelcomethem,norinnstoentertainthemortorefreshtheirweatherbeatenbodies;nordidtheyhavehousesormuchlesstownstorepairtoortoseekforsuccour.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Inthenarrativetext,thetwosentencesarelooseinstructure.Inthequotation,thethreesentencesareperiodicinthatthefirstsentencebeginswithaparticiplephrase;thesecondbeginswithaconjunctionandanadverb;andthethirdalsobeginswithaparticiplephrase.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thestructuresarecomplicatedtosomeextent,forthereisonlyonesimplesentencebutwithconfusingcoordinatestructures.(3)Parallelstructure：

Parallelstructuresarefrequentlyused,forexample,perilsandfrustrations;beingthusarrivedinagoodharbor,andbroughtsafetoland;broughtthemoverthevastandfuriousocean,anddeliveredthem…;perilsandmiseries;firmandstable;nofriendstowelcomethemnorinnstoentertain…;entertainorrefresh;norhousesormuchlesstowns;andtorepairto,toseekforsuccour.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresarefrequentlyused;thepronountheyisrepeatedlyusedtorefertoAmerica’sfirstsettlersorthepassengers;thephrasethepassengersisalsousedtorefertoAmerica’sfirstsettlers;thepronounIisrepeatedlyusedtorefertoWilliamBradford;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,colonial,account,record,peril,frustration,challenge,courage,settle,plantation,describe,passenger,receive,arrive,deliver,andsoon.Inaddition,thestructureandvocabularyofthequotationsoundalittlearchaic.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:最早的殖民者旅行记是灾难和沮丧的记录，这些灾难和沮丧挑战了首批美洲移民的勇气。《威廉.布雷福德的普利茅斯种植园的历史》描写了五月花船上的乘客所受到的冷遇，当他们于1620年登上美洲海岸的时候：

就这样到达了一个良好的港口，被安全地带到了陆地，他们跪下了，天帝保佑他们，带领他们穿过辽阔愤怒的海洋，将他们从灾难和痛苦那里带出来，又踏上了坚实稳固的土地，他们的合适的元素……但是在这儿，我站在那儿，看到那些可怜的人们眼前的状况，惊呆了。因此我想，读者也会这样想，当他也这样认为时。就这样穿过了辽阔的海洋，……没有朋友迎接他们，也没有旅店招待他们，使他们饱经风霜的身体恢复疲劳；没有房屋，更没有城市供他们休息，来解决困难。Comments:Generallyspeaking,thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictly,thoughwithlocalreadjustmentsmadehereandthere.Forexample,inthesecondclauseofthefirstsentence,这些灾难和沮丧isrepeated;notinthesecondlineofthesecondparagraphofthequotationisdulyshiftedinthetranslation,andothers.However,thereadabilityandauthenticitycouldbefurtherenhanced.B)Translation2:

最早的殖民旅行记记录了挑战首批美国移民勇气的灾难与挫折。《威廉.布拉德福特的普利茅斯种植园的历史》描绘了他们乘坐五月之花号海轮于1620年到达美洲海岸时所遇到的冷遇：

于是他们到达了一个良好的港口，安全地登上了海岸，匍匐在地，感谢上帝带领他们跨过一望无垠的狂怒的大海，带领他们逃离了危险与悲苦，再次踏上坚实而沉稳的大地，踏上了适宜于他们的环境……这儿的人一贫如洗，环境极为艰苦，站在这儿，我感到十分惊讶。我想，读者如想到眼前的境况，也会惊叹不已。他们如此艰难的跨越了辽阔的海洋，……既没有朋友迎接他们，也没有旅馆招待他们，饱经风霜，疲敝不堪，没有任何东西能使他们逐困解乏；没有房子，更没有城市供他们落脚，没有人可以求助。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,thistranslationhascontractedthefirsttwoclausesintoasinglesentenceandrearrangedthenextsentencesothatitsoundsmoreauthentic.Similarly,thequotationisreorganizedanditnowsoundsmorecoherent.C)Translation3:首批移民旅行记记录了移民们来到美洲时遇到的灾难、经历的沮丧、经受的挑战。《威廉.布雷福德的普利茅斯种植园的历史》描绘了他们乘坐五月之花号海轮于1620年抵达美洲海岸时受到的种种冷遇：

就这样受尽了折磨，终于抵达了盼望已久的港口，安全地登陆了。他们匍匐在地，感谢上苍保佑他们穿越了波涛汹涌的辽阔海洋，将他们从死亡和灾难中拯救出来，使他们踏实地踏上了坚固的土地，他们的适宜之所……我站在这儿，看着眼前这群可怜的人，不禁瞠目结舌。我想，当读者看到这儿也会有同感。他们就这样穿越了汹涌澎湃的辽阔海洋，……没有亲朋好友来迎接，没有店铺来招待，饱经风霜的躯体无法恢复疲劳，没有房屋供他们休息，没有城市供他们游逛，供他们采购生活必需品，供他们消愁解闷。Comments:Apparently,thefirstsentenceisreorganizedandsoisthequotation,especiallythelastpartofit.AndthereorganizationisexecutedtosuchadrasticextentthatthepartsconcernedhavedeviatedfromtheoriginaltosomeextenttocaterforChinesenorms.Consequently,thetranslationsoundslikeapieceofrewritingintermsofreadability,coherenceandauthenticity,althoughtheideasintheoriginalcouldbeeasilyidentified.Original63:

IftheAmericanwildernessdidnotprovideaheartywelcomeforthecolonists,itneverthelessofferedwealthofnaturalresources.“Heisabadfisher[who]cannotkillinonedaywithhishookeandline,one,two,orthreehundredCods”isaclaimmadebyCaptainJohnSmithinADescriptionofNewEngland

(1616).“AsupofNewEngland’sairisbetterthanawholedraftofoldEngland’sale”isatestimonialgivenbyFrancisHigginsoninhisNew-England’sPlantation(1630).Higginsonadds:Original63(continued):

Besides,Ihaveoneofmychildrenthatwasformerlymostlamentablyhandledwithsorebreakingoutofbothhishandsandfeetoftheking’sevil,butsincehecamehitherheisverywellover[what]hewas,andthereishopeofperfectrecoveryshortly,evenbytheverywholesomenessoftheair.PoorHigginsondidnotfareaswellashisson;hediedthesameyearthe

New-England’sPlantation

waspublished.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsoftwonarrativeparagraphsandaquotation,ofwhichthefirstnarrativeparagraphconsistsofasentenceandtwointer-textualquotationswiththeirnarrativeclauses,andareportingclausefortheextra-textualquotation.Inthefirstnarrativeparagraph,thesentenceiscomplexinstructure,consistingofanadverbialclauseofconditionandamainclause.Thefirstinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanberegardedasacomplexsentence,consistingofamainclauseandanominalclauseservingasthesubjectofthesentence,whichinturncontainsanattributiveclause.Thesecondinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanalsoberegardedasacomplexsentence,composedofamainclauseandanominalclauseservingasthesubject.Sentencestructure(continued)：Thequotationiscomplexcompoundinstructureinthatitconsistsofamainclauseandanobjectclause,whichinturnconsistsoftwocoordinateclauses,ofwhichthesecondinturniscomposedtwocoordinateclauses,withthefirsthavinganattributiveclauseembedded.

Thesecondnarrativeparagraphconsistsofacompoundsentence,composedoftwocoordinateclauses,looselyconnected.(2)Additionalcomplication：Inthefirstnarrativeparagraph,thesentencebeginswithanadverbialclause;inthenarrativepartofthefirstinter-textualquotation,thereisaparenthesisembeddedinthebracketsandsoisaparenthesisembeddedinthenarrativepartofthesecondinter-textualquotation;andthequotationbeginswithanadverb.(3)Paraphrase：Intheselection,thefirstinter-textualquotationtogetherwiththenarrativetextcanbeparaphrasedlikethis:InADescriptionofNewEngland(1616),CaptainJohnSmithclaimsthatthemanisabadfisherifhecannotgetinonedaywithhookandlineone,twoorthreehundredcods.Andthesentencethatfollowscanbeunderstoodinthesamemanner.Inaddition,thequotationmaybeparaphrasedinthefollowingmanner:Besides,Ihaveachild,whosufferedfromtheking’sevil.Whenhemoved,bothofhishandsandfeetwouldgivegreatpains.Butsincehecamehere,hedoesnotfeelanypainatall.Anditishopedthathewillrecovercompletelythankstothewholesomefreshair.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Overallstylisticfeatures(2)Periodicity(3)Structuralcomplication(4)Parallelstructure(5)Cohesivedevice(6)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Overallstylisticfeatures:Inthepresentselection,therearetwonarrativetextsandanextra-textualquotation,andinthefirstnarrativetext,therearetwointer-textualquotations.Inthissense,wecansaythattheselectionischaracterizedbyquotations.(1)Periodicity：Inthefirstnarrativetext,thefirstsentenceisperiodicforitbeginswithaconditionalclause,andthesecondandthethirdbothbeginwithquotations,whichareactuallyclauseswithorwithoutfurthersubordination.Andinthissense,theycanbothberegardedasperiodicsentences.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thestructureoftheextra-textualquotationisrathercomplicatedwithsubordinateandcoordinatestructuresincluded,althoughthestructureofthesecondnarrativetextisnotassuch.Inthissense,wecansaythattheselectionisstructurallycomplicated,thoughnotverycomplicatedthroughout.(3)Parallelstructure：Parallelstructuresarenotpopularlyusedthoughthereexistsomeoccasionalcases.(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareoccasionallyused;allthewordings,includingthoseintheextra-textualquotation,areusedaroundthecontrastbetweentheAmericanwildernessandthewealthofnaturalresources;itinthefirstsentenceisusedtorefertotheAmericanwilderness;hisinfifthlineisusedtorefertoFrancisHigginson;Higginsonisrepeated;IandmyinthequotationarealsousedtorefertoHigginson;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,wilderness,welcome,colonist,nevertheless,offer,wealth,natural,resources,description,testimonial,lamentably,andothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:如果说美洲的荒芜没有给殖民者提供衷心的欢迎的话，却提供了丰富的自然资源。“如果在一天之内用钓钩和钓丝钓不到一百、二百或三百尾鳕鱼，他就是一个坏钓者，”这是约翰.史密斯船长在《新英格兰的描写》（1616）中所作的声言。“吸一口新英格兰空气，比整整一股老英格兰的酒还要好”是弗朗西斯.西根森在他的《新英格兰种植园》（1630）中所提供的证明。西根森还说：

另外，我的孩子中有一个，由于淋巴结核，从前两只手和两只脚都不能动，一动就疼痛难忍。从他来到这儿之后，过去的毛病没有了，借助这么好的空气，甚至还有希望全愈。可怜的西根森没有他的儿子那么好，他死于《新英格兰种植园》出版的同一年。Comments:Apparently,thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictly,thoughnotrigidly,for他就是一个坏钓者isdulypushedback,and借助这么好的空气isdulyfronted.Inaddition,minorchangeshavealsobeenmade.Tosomeextent,thetranslationisacceptablenow.However,坏钓者istoostraightforwardaterm;声言isnotanappropriatetermforthecontext;没有他的儿子那么好isnotanexpressionthatissufficientlyexplicit.B)Translation2:如果说美洲大陆的荒原没有亲切地欢迎这些殖民者的话，却提供了丰富的自然资源。约翰.史密斯船长在《新英格兰概述》（1616）中声称：“有了钓钩与钓丝，一天之内，钓不到一二百尾鳕鱼，就不为善钓。”弗朗斯西.赫金森在《新英格兰的种植园》（1630）中说，“吸一口新英格兰的空气比喝老英格兰的一股强劲的香酒更为惬意”，这话是很好的左证。赫金森还说：

此外，我有一个孩子，双手、双脚原来都患有淋巴结核，一动就痛得难忍，非常凄惨。自从来到这里以后，由于空气新鲜，就完全换了一个人，不久还有希望痊愈。可怜的赫金森不像他的儿子那么有福，在《新英格兰的种植园》出版的那年就去世了。Comments:Comparedwiththeprevious,whatSmithsaysandtheextra-textualquotationaredrasticallyreorganized.Theybothsoundmoreauthenticinthesenseofthetargetlanguageandculture,butalltheoriginalideasarestillthere,thoughinthenewclothesnow.C)Translation3:荒凉的美洲虽没有给这些殖民者以温馨的接待，却为他们提供了丰富的自然资源。约翰.史密斯船长在《新英格兰素描》（1616）中说：“有了钓钩与钓丝，一天之内，钓不到一二百尾鳕鱼，就不为善钓。”弗朗斯西.赫金森在《新英格兰种植园》（1630）中说，“吸一口新英格兰的空气比痛饮老英格兰的陈年老酒更为惬意”，这话与史密斯说的异曲同工。他还说：

我有个孩子，双手和双脚都患有淋巴结核，在老英格兰时，一动就疼痛难忍，非常凄苦。来到新英格兰，一呼吸空气新鲜，就像完全换了一个人，不久还有希望痊愈。可怜的赫金森不像他的儿子那样福寿绵长，《新英格兰种植园》出版了,他也就去世了。Comments:Apparently,minorchangesaremadewithregardtoHigginson’swordsinandoutofthequotation,andinthelastsentenceofthetranslation.Minorthoughthechangesare,theyhaveinjectedauthenticityandreadabilityintothetranslation.Original64:OtherwritersechoedthedescriptionsandexaggerationsofSmithandHigginson.TheirpurposewastoattractdissatisfiedinhabitantsoftheOldWorldacrosstheoceantotheNew.Asaresult,theirtravelaccountsbecameakindofliteraturetowhichmanygroupsrespondedbymakingthehazardouscrossingtoAmerica.TheearliestsettlersincludedDutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,andPortuguese.OftheimmigrantswhocametoAmericainthefirstthreequartersoftheseventeenthcentury,however,theoverwhelmingmajoritywasEnglish.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsoffivesentences,ofwhichonlythethirdandthelastarecomplexsentencesandalltheothersaresimpleones.Thethirdsentenceconsistsofamainclauseandanattributiveclauseandthelastconsistsofanattributiveclause,embeddedintheprepositionalphrase,andamainclause.Therefore,generallyspeaking,theselectionisnotgrammaticallypeculiarlycomplicated.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thethirdsentencebeginswithaprepositionalphrase;andthelastsentencebeginswithaprepositionalphraseandhasaparenthesisembedded.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Ofthefivesentences,thethirdandthelastareperiodicwhiletheotherthreeareloose,andthetwoperiodicsentencesbeginwithprepositionalphrases,andthelastsentencehasashortparenthesisembedded.(2)Structuralcomplication：Thesentencesarenotstructurallycomplicatedforthereareonlytwocomplexones.(3)Parallelstructure:Intheselection,parallelstructurescanbefound,forexample,descriptionsandexaggerations;SmithandHigginson;andDutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,andPortuguese.(4)Cohesivedevice：

Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareused;SmithandHigginsonareamongthewriters,forwhichtheirisusedtostand;theOldWorldisusedincontrastwithAmerica;Dutch,Swedes,Germans,French,Spaniards,Italians,PortugueseandEnglishareusedasvarietiesofimmigrants;andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,description,exaggeration,purpose,attract,dissatisfied,inhabitant,ocean,result,travel,account,literature,respond,hazardous,andmanyothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:别的作家重复着史密斯和赫金森的描述与夸张。他们的目的是吸引那些在欧洲生活得不够惬意的人漂洋过海来到新大陆。结果，他们的游记就成了一种文学。对此，许多小组积极响应，克服艰难险阻远渡重洋来到美洲。早期来美洲定居的还有荷兰人、瑞典人、德国人、法国人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在十七世纪头七十五年里来到美洲的移民中，绝大多数是英国人。Comments:

Thetranslationfollowstheoriginalstrictlyandconsequently,someexpressionsdonotsoundauthentic,forexample,重复着……描述与夸张;许多小组,andothers.Inaddition,somesentencesarelongerthannecessary.However,generallyspeaking,thetranslationisacceptable,especiallythesecond,thethird,andthelasttwosentences.B)Translation2:其他作家也像史密斯和西金森那样描述，那样夸张，目的是吸引那些在欧洲生活得不够惬意的人漂洋过海来到新大陆。结果，他们的游记就成了文学。对此，许多团体积极响应，克服艰难险阻远渡重洋来到美洲。早期来美洲定居的还有荷兰人、瑞典人、德国人、法国人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在十七世纪头七十五年里来到美洲的移民中，压倒多数的是英国人。Comments:Theabove-mentionedweakpointsareeliminatedand压倒多数isusedtosubstitutefortheprevious.Consequently,thetranslationismorereadable,coherentandauthentic,andinthefinalanalysis,moreacceptable.C)Translation3:其他作家与史密斯和希金森相呼应，像他们那样描写，那样夸张，以便将远在大洋彼岸的那些不满旧世界的人吸引到新大陆来。这样一来，他们的旅行记就成了一种文学，人们群起响应，战胜艰难险阻，漂洋过海，来到美洲。最早到美洲定居的还有荷兰人、瑞典人、德国人、法国人、西班牙人、意大利人和葡萄牙人。然而，在1601－1675年间来美洲定居的人中，英国人占压倒多数。Comments:Improvementsaremadewhen相呼应isinserted,群起响应isused,longsentencesarecutshort,andsoon.Inaddition,parallelstructuresareused,forexample,像他们那样描写，那样夸张;漂洋过海，来到美洲andcause-and-effectrelationsaremoreexplicitlypresented,forexample,和……相呼应;以便……将……吸引到新大陆来,andsoon.Consequently,thetranslationsoundsmorereadableandauthentic.Original65:TheEnglishimmigrantswhosettledonAmerica’snorthernseacoast,appropriatelycalledNewEngland,cameinordertopracticetheirreligionfreely.TheywereeitherEnglishmenwhowantedtoreformtheChurchofEnglandorpeoplewhowantedtohaveanentirelynewchurch.Thesetwogroupscombined,especiallyinwhatbecameMassachusetts,cametobeknownas“Puritans,”sonamedafterthosewhowishedto“purify”theChurchofEngland.1)Analysisoftheoriginal:A)GrammaticalanalysisB)StylisticanalysisA）Grammaticalanalysis:(1)Sentencestructure(2)Additionalcomplication(1)Sentencestructure：Theselectionconsistsofthreesentences,allofwhicharecomplexinstructure.Thefirstsentenceconsistsofamainclausewithanattributiveclauseembeddedinthesubjectofthemainclause;thesecondsentenceconsistsofamainclausewithtwoattributiveclausesembeddedinthecoordinatepredicatives;thethirdisalsoacomplexsentence,withtwoattributiveclausesembeddedoneintheparentheticstructureinthemiddleandtheotherattheendofthesentence.(2)Additionalcomplication：Thefirstandthethirdsentenceseachhaveaparentheticstructureembeddedandthepartattheendofthethirdsentencecanalsoberegardedasparenthetic.Therefore,theselectionissomewhatmoregrammaticallycomplicated.B)Stylisticanalysis:(1)Periodicity(2)Structuralcomplication(3)Parallelstructure(4)Cohesivedevice(5)Structuralandlexicalformality(1)Periodicity：Ofthethreesentences,thefirstandthelastareperiodicinthatinthesubjectpartofthefirstsentence,thereisanattributiveclausefollowedbyaparenthesis,andinthelast,therearetwoparenthesespositionedbeforeandafterthepredicatepart.Thesecondsentence,thoughlooseinstructure,hasacoordinatepredicative,eachofcoordinatephraseswithanattributiveclauseembedded.(2)Structuralcomplication:Intheselection,allthesentencesarestructurallycomplicatedtosomeextent.Asrevealedinthegrammaticalanalysis,thefirstisacomplexsentence,thesecondisacompoundcomplexsentenceandthethirdisacomplexsentence.(3)Parallelstructure：Intheselection,thereisonlyoneparallelstructureinthesecondsentence,whosetwopartsareconnectedbyeither…or….(4)Cohesivedevice：Intermsofcohesivedevice,examplescouldbefoundasfollows:parallelstructuresareseldomused;America,NewEnglandandMassachusettsaresemanticallyrelatedwithEnglishimmigrants;religion,theChurchofEngland,reform,puritanandpurifyarealsosemanticallyrelated,andsoon.(5)Structuralandlexicalformality：Structurally,theselectionisformalinthatthesentencesitiscomposedofaregrammaticallycompleteandfreefromcolloquialstructures.Lexically,formalwords,includingnominalizations,arefrequentlyused,forexample,immigrant,settle,appropriately,religion,church,entirely,andothers.2)Stagedtranslation:A)Translation1withcommentsB)Translation2withcommentsC)Translation3withcommentsA)Translation1:定居在美洲北部沿海一带的英国移民，恰如其分地将那儿称为新英格兰，他们来到美洲以便实践宗教自由。他们要么希望改革英格兰的教会，要么希望创建全新的教堂。这两股教民合在一起，特别是在后来成为马萨诸塞州的地方，就称之为“清教徒”。这样命名，是仿效那些希望“纯洁”英格兰教会的人的。Comments:Thetranslationstrictlyfollowstheoriginal,especiallystructurally.However,theEnglishimmigrantswhosettledonAmerica’snorthernseacoastistranslatedinto定居在美洲北部沿海一带的英国移民;要么and要么aredulyfronted,andthesetwogroupscombinedisproperlytranslated.AllthesechangesaremadeinaccordancewithChinesenorms.Butthetranslationcanstillbeimprovedon.B)Translation2:英国移民定居在美洲北部沿海一带，恰如其分地将那儿称为新英格兰，他们来到美洲旨在追求宗教自由。一部分人希望改革英格兰教会，另一部分人希望创建新教。两股教民合在一起，特别是在马萨诸塞州，后来被称为“清教徒”。如此命名