高考英语临阵磨枪之读后续写(1)课件

2022年高考临阵磨枪之读后续写

“手把手”教你走进“读后续写”（I）

【典题示例】阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写词数应为150左右。Twomen,bothseriouslyill,occupiedthesamehospitalroom.Onemanwasallowedtositupinhisbedforanhoureachafternoontohelpemptytheliquidfromhislungs.Hisbedwasnexttotheroom’sonlywindow.Theothermanhadtospendallhistimeonhisback.Themantalkedforhoursonend.Theyspokeoftheirwivesandfamilies,theirhomes,theirjobs,theirinvolvementinthemilitaryservice,wheretheyhadbeenonvacation.Everyafternoonwhenthemaninthebedbythewindowcouldsitup,hewouldpassthetimebydescribingtohisroommateallthethingshecouldseeoutsidethewindow.Themanintheotherbedbegantoliveforthoseone-hourperiodswherehisworldwouldbebroadenedbyalltheactivityandcoloroftheworldsoutside.Thewindowoverlookedaparkwithalovelylake.Ducksplayedonthewaterwhilechildrensailedtheirmodelboats.Youngloverswalkedarminarmamongflowersofeverycolorandafineviewofthecityskylinecouldbeseeninthedistance.Asthemanbythewindowdescribedallthisindetail,themanontheothersideoftheroomwouldclosehiseyesandimaginethebeautifulscene.Onewarmafternoonthemanbythewindowdescribedaparadepassingby.Althoughtheothermancouldn’theartheband---hecouldseeitinhismind’seyeasthegentlemanbythewindowdescribeditexcitedly.

Unexpectedly,astrangethoughtenteredhisheads:WhyshouldhehaveallthepleasureofseeingeverythingwhileInevergettoseeanything?Itdidn’tseemfair.Asthethoughtappearedthemanfeltashamedatfirst.Butasthedayspassedandhemissedseeingmoresights,hisenvyturnedhimsourandfoundhimselfunabletosleep.Heshouldbebythatwindow---thatthoughtnowcontrolledhislife.Paragraph1:Lateonenightashelaystaringattheceiling,themanbythewindowbegantocough.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Hestruggledtolookoutofthewindowbesidethebed.Muchtohissurprise,

itfacedablankwall.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【思路剖析】通读短文可知，故事发生在一所医院的病房里，主要人物是两位病人。(1)理解全文，把握主线通读短文，可知本文大意是：在一家医院的病房里住着两位病人。其中一位病人经允许可以在每天下午起身坐上一个小时。这位病人的病床靠近窗口，而另一位病人则不得不日夜躺在床上。躺在窗边的病人每天向另一位病人描述他看到的窗处的风景和故事。可是有一天听故事的病人开始产生嫉妒心理，希望自己能够一样有机会看看窗外。(2)分析关键词和所给段落首句，展开想象合理续写续写第一段首句是：一天深夜，当他躺在床上盯着天花板的时候，靠窗户的那个人开始咳嗽起来。根据本句及前文所述，尤其是“hisenvyturnedhimsour”一句，可预测本段应该写靠窗户病人的病情十分危急，这位心生嫉妒病人的做法以及由此产生的后果。由于续写第二段开头提及他看到了窗外的真实景象，因此，本段最后要提到病友去世，他要求移到窗边病床上。续写第二段首句是：他挣扎着看向床边的窗户外，令他吃惊的是，窗外只是一堵空墙。由此可知，这让他意识到，病友所描述的一切都来自想象。因此，本段应当主要写病友为他编织了一幅美丽的画面，鼓励他，让他能够更积极地面对病情，以及得知真相后他复杂的心理感受。【满分范文】Paragraph1:Lateonenightashelaystaringattheceiling,themanbythewindowbegantocough.Hewatchedintheroomasthestrugglingmanbythewindowsearchedblindlyforthebuttontocallforhelp.However,hearingfromacrosstheroomhenevermoved.Thefollowingmorningthenursefoundthelifelessbodyofthemanbythewindow.Theothermanaskedifhecouldbemovednexttothewindow.Thenursewashappytomaketheswitch.Paragraph2:Hestruggledtolookoutofthewindowbesidethebed.Muchtohissurprise,itfacedablankwall.Atthatmoment,heseemedtounderstandeverything,buthecouldnotsayit,justregrettingthathehadnotmovedwhenhiscompanionwassufferingfromillness.Hefeltashamed.Hiscompanionhadmadewhitelieseverydayjusttoencouragehim.afeelingofregret,ofgratitude,roseatthemoment.【名师点评】习作紧扣语境，承接前文内容进行了合理的续写，符合人物的特点和逻辑。第一段顺承前文内容，与所给首句衔接自然，通过watch,search,listen,move等动作描写刻画了人物形象，其中“Listeningfromacrosstheroomhenevermoved.”一句与前文“Butasthedayspassedandhemissedseeingmoresights,hisenvyturnedhimsourandfoundhimselfunabletosleep.”相呼应。本段最后两句也是情节发展的必然，与第二段首句环环相扣，使整篇习作浑然一体。第二段续写内容通过seem,understand,regret,encourage,rise等一系列动词的使用，形象地描述了这位病人深感愧疚的心理活动。此外，习作中运用了较多的高级词汇与句式，如sufferfrom,feelashamed,makewhitelies，but引导的并列句，现在分词短语justregrettingthathehadnotmoved等，这种丰富的语言表达形式增强了文章的感染力，使续写的情节更加吸引人。【好句积累】1.夜空中星星向我眨眼睛。Starswinkedatmeinthedarkeningsky.2.她接着说，“我紧紧地拥抱着他们，感觉到自己内心突然有了一种力量”。Shecontinued,“Ihuggedthemtightly,feelingasuddenstrengthinsideme.”3.这位妇女热切地看着这个女孩，想和她说话。Thewomanwasstaringeagerlyatthegirl,tryingtomakeaconversation.4.看到眼前的一幕，他吓呆了，不敢动弹。Atthesightofthescenebeforehim,hefrozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.5.树上的小鸟在树上唱着美妙的歌曲。Birdsonthetreearesingingbeautifulsongs.6.回来的时候，他还抱着胳膊，脸上带着一丝怒气。Whencomingback,hestillfoldedhisarmswithalittleangeronhisface.7.一种强烈的喜悦感在我的脑海中闪过。Astrongsenseofjoyflashedthroughmymind.8.