期中考试的读后续写：线索的照应(圣诞节的男孩泡泡)

期中考试的读后续写：线索的照应（圣诞节的男孩泡泡）综述：这篇作文初看起来比较好些，但实际上很难写好。原因在于，学生没有牢记读后续写的重点是：融洽和衔接。文章的conflict是：HowdidIhelptheboybuythesoapbubbles?解决的方法是：Igavehimthetencents.主题是：bekindandhelpfultoothers。但很多学生写成了，小男孩没有买bubbles，而是买其它东西，譬如鲜花，送给妹妹或者我，表示感谢。甚至还有人写妹妹得病了，或者妈妈得病了。这些不是说不可以写，但是在狭小的空间内要另起锅灶，不是读后续写中提倡的。读后续写需要严格遵守原来的故事情节线，不要随意增加人物，也不要把矛盾给彻底避开。其次，读后续写要有线索意识，把文章中的线索都挑出来，并且通过线索照应主题。这样的作文才是精致动人的。譬如文章的线索是：我对圣诞节的感受：Ithadbeenoneofthosedayswhennothinggoesright.ItcausedmetothinkbacktothetimewhenIenjoyedChristmas.Thatwastwoyearsago,beforeIwentworkhere.Somehowsincethattime,Christmasdidn’tmeanmuchanymore,exceptmoreworkandheadaches.那么文章要实现升华，必然在最后要说明，我的消极感受逆转了，需要通过某种直接或间接的方式来照应。还有一些隐含的线索：AndIstillhadtofinishmyChristmasshoppingthatevening.securitytoldustowatchkidsforstealing.“Idon’twanthertoknowaboutit,”hewhisperedbeforeIcouldevenanswer.第一个说明了，我还要这天去买圣诞礼物。如果这点考虑了，那就会想到：我最后也去买圣诞礼物，并且感受到了圣诞的精神。和帮助小男孩的快乐结合起来，实际就是：赠人玫瑰，手有余香。还有一个最大的问题就是，学生对每一段的内容主要情节想的太复杂了，实际上lessismore。从第二段的提示句就可以知道：小男孩在第一段里有了足够的钱，并且离开我去买礼物去了。有的人避开文章主要矛盾，就会写这个钱是他放弃买bubbles去买便宜的东西。实际上第一段主要情节就是：小男孩如何有了钱？答案就两个：我给的。（因为就两个人物，也不不允许增加第三者。）剩下问题就是：我怎么给他钱。这个可以是自由想象了。第二段主要写：小男孩买礼物和妹妹见到后的互动，注意前面有线索，他不想让妹妹知道。所以这里面就大有文章可做了。我作为旁观者，看到我的帮助给他们带来了这么多的快乐，我如何感受？但是有些同学想不通我为什么也快乐和感动？其实，这就是缺少同理心的表现了。读后续写是需要一点生活经验的。包括很多学生也无法理解，这一对兄妹怎么对待礼物，譬如妹妹看到礼物马上扑过去。这都是生活中的常情，但由于现在很多孩子是独生子女，就无法想象，更不用说去理解了。这样他们就没法写出很感人生动的画面。至于后面我写我去写我也和孩子一样吹肥皂泡，学生也感觉不可思议：成年人怎么会像小孩子一样吹肥皂泡？其实每个成年人的心底都有一个孩子的童心。所谓：归来不忘少年。连苏轼都说：老夫聊发少年狂。通过这次写作，发现学生的语文阅读积累真的不容乐观，也侧面导致了想象力的发散。学生的想象力不是说不丰富，而是说缺少美学意义上的想象或者是人文气息。阅读下面短文，根据其内容和所给段落开头语进行续写，使之构成一个完整的短文。续写的词数应为150词左右。Ithadbeenoneofthosedayswhennothinggoesright.Iwasdueatworkat8o’clock,butIwastenminuteslatebecauseIoverslept.Iwentstraighttomyregularpost-thetoydepartment.ItwastwodaysbeforeChristmasandthedepartmentwasamess.ItcausedmetothinkbacktothetimewhenIenjoyedChristmas.Thatwastwoyearsago,beforeIwentworkhere.Somehowsincethattime,Christmasdidn’tmeanmuchanymore,exceptmoreworkandheadaches.Thewholeday,Iwascursed,yelledatandsteppedon.AndIstillhadtofinishmyChristmasshoppingthatevening.Ihadjustfinishedexplainingtoamanwhywedidn’tsellfirecrackers,whenIfeltatugonmyarm.ItwasoneofthetwokidsIhadbeenkeepinganeyeonforawhile---securitytoldustowatchkidsforstealing.Heandhislittlesisterhadbeenlookingatthe“discount”counter,wherewehadallthecheapesttoys.BeforeIevenbentdowntolistentohim,Icheckedaroundforhissister.Ididn’tseeher.Mister,doyouthinkthiswouldbeagoodpresentformylittlesister?”hesaidinabrokenaccent,holdingupabottleofsoapbubbleliquid.“Idon’twanthertoknowaboutit,”hewhisperedbeforeIcouldevenanswer.Ijustagreedwithhim.Hestuckhishandinthepocketofhisdirtyjeansandpulledoutafistfulofchange,askingifhehadenoughmoneytopayforit.“Itlookslikeyou’llhavetotrytofindsomethingelse,”Isaid.“Youneedtenmorecents.”Idoubteditwasatrick,especiallyatChristmas.Helookedsadandwentbacktofindsomethingelse.Iwatchedhimfromthecornerofmyeyeforawhileashelookedatotheritems,butalwayscamebacktothesoapbubbles.IlefttheareaforafewminutesandwhenIcamebackhewasstillthere,tryingtofindacheapergift.Somehow,thekidstruckmeasdifferentfrommostthetroublemakerswegotinthetoydepartment.Paragraph1:Iwentovertohimandaskedifhehadfoundanythingyet.Paragraph2:Ifollowedhimsecretlytoseewhathereallyspentthemoneyon.图片我的下水文：Paragraph1:Iwentovertohimandaskedifhehadfoundanythingyet.Hecrouchedinacornershakinghisheadspeechless,disappointmentmappedonhisface.（衔接写theboy,写他的失望和无奈，我觉得蹲在地上是经典的。）Istrokedhishead,awaveofsympathywellingupinme.（我的反应：同情）Iwhisperedtohiminamysteriousvoice,“Now,closeyoureyesandIwillpracticemagicforyou.”（抖包袱开始了：小孩子喜欢魔法，所以抖包袱围绕小孩子的特点）Hescratchedhisheadbutdidit.（小男孩的困惑）Isneakedtencentsintohispocketandtoldhimtocheckit.（解开包袱）Hepinchedhishandhardonlytofindhewasnotdreaming.Afterthankingme,heranawayasswiftlyasarabbit.（小男孩的反应，同时和下文衔接）Paragraph2:Ifollowedhimsecretlytoseewhathereallyspentthemoneyon.Heshoulderedhiswaytotheareaofbubbleliquidandsooncameoutwithagiftbaglikeaking.（衔接上句，写小男孩的神气：likeaking）Hislittlesisterjustwaitedoutsideandeagerlypouncedonit,eyessparklingwithexcitement,buttheboyheldthebagtightly,exclaiming,“Itisn’tthetime.”（写妹妹和哥哥的互动，必须把两个人的天真可爱刻画出来，这里面需要有一些生活经验。）Somehowtherestofthedaywentmuchbetter.（写我的心情，这一段和前文照应）Thatnight,IcamehomewithsoapbubblestooasChristmaspresents.（继续照应线索）Iblewit,chasingtheflyingbubbleswithchildlikeinterest.（我深受白天孩子的感染，也吹泡泡）ForthefirsttimeinthreeyearsChristmasspiritcrawledupmyheartagain.（照应前文线索，突出主题。这样的结尾不是那么直接点明主题内容）最后三句也可以用下面的哲理话语：Thatnight,IcamehomewithsoapbubblestooasChristmaspresents,remindingmyselfthatevenasmallactofkindnesscanmakeabigdifferencetoothers,andmostimportantlytomyself.完整的原文：Iwentovertohimandaskedifhehadfoundanythingyet.Hecrouchedinacornershakinghisheadspeechless,disappointmentmappedonhisface.Istrokedhishead,awaveofsympathywellingupinme.Iwhisperedtohiminamysteriousvoice,“Now,closeyoureyesandIwillpracticemagicforyou.”Hescratchedhisheadbutdidit.Isneakedtencentsintohispocketandtoldhimtocheckit.Hepinchedhishandhardonlytofindhewasnotdreaming.Afterthankingme,heranawayasswiftlyasarabbit.Paragraph2:Ifollowedhimsecretlytoseewhathereallyspentthemoneyon.Heshoulderedhiswaytotheareaofbubbleliquidandsooncameoutwithagiftbaglikeaking.Hislittlesisterjustwaitedoutsideandeagerlypouncedonit,eyessparklingwithexcitement,buttheboyheldthebagtightly,exclaiming,“Itisn’tthetime.”Somehowtherestofthedaywentmuchbetter.Thatnight,IcamehomewithsoapbubblestooasChristmaspresents.Iblewit,chasingtheflyingbubbleswithchildlikeinterest.ForthefirsttimeinthreeyearsChristmasspiritcrawledupmyheartagain.原文小说作者的结尾（上文适当参考了这个里面思想）：Iwentovertohimandaskedifhehadfoundanythingyet.Hejustshookhisheadandlookedverydisappointed.“Well,let’sseehowmuchmoneyyouhaveagain,”Isaid.Hedumpedthechangeinwiththetwodi