《幸福的方法》英文版

1、PrefaceWe all live with the objective of being happy;our lives are all diff erent and yet the same.Anne FrankIfi rst taught a positive psychology seminar at Harvard in ?.Eight students signed up; two dropped out. In class each week,we explored what I believed to be the question of questions: howcan

2、we help ourselves and othersindividuals, communities, andsocietybecome happier? We read academic journal articles,tested ideas, shared personal stories, experienced frustration aswell as delight, and, by the end of the year, emerged with a clearerunderstanding of what psychology can teach us about l

3、eadinghappier, more fulfi lling lives.h e following year the class went public, in a manner of speaking.My mentor Philip Stone, who fi rst introduced me to the fi eldand was also the fi rst professor to teach positive psychology atHarvard, encouraged me to off er a lecture course on the topic.h ree

4、hundred eighty students signed up. In their year-end evaluations,more than ? percent noted that “the course improves theCopyright ? 2007 by Tal Ben-Shahar. Click here for terms of use.viii ? Prefacequality of ones life.” h e next time I off ered the course, ? studentsenrolled, making it the largest

5、class at the university.William James, who over a century ago founded Americanpsychology, kept me on track by reminding me to remain practicaland seek “truths cash-value in experiential terms.” h e cash-valuethat I primarily sought for the students was not in hard currencyor the currency of success

6、and accolades but rather in what Ivecome to call the ultimate currency, the end toward which all otherends lead: happiness.h is was not merely a class on the theory of “the good life.”Students, beyond reading articles and learning about the researchin the fi eld, were asked to apply the material. h

7、ey wrote papersin which they grappled with their fears and refl ected on theirstrengths, set ambitious goals for the week and for the comingdecade; they were encouraged to take risks and fi nd their stretchzone (the healthy median between their comfort and paniczones).Personally, I was not always ab

8、le to fi nd that healthy median.As a shy introvert, I felt fairly comfortable the fi rst time I taughtthe class with six students. Lecturing in front of close to fourhundred students the following year, however, was certainly astretch for me. When the class more than doubled in the thirdyear, I was

9、fi rmly in the panic zoneespecially once studentsparents, a handful of grandparents, and then the media startedto show up.Since the day that the Harvard Crimson and then the BostonGlobe reported on the popularity of the class, the deluge of questionshasnt stopped. People are sensinghave been sensing

10、 for awhilethat we are in the midst of some sort of revolution, andthey are not sure why. How can you explain the demand for positivepsychology at Harvard and on other college campuses? Whythis growing interest in the study of happiness, in elementary andPreface ? ixhigh schools, as well as among th

11、e adult population? Is it becausepeople are more depressed today? Is it something about a twentyfirst-century education or our Western way of life?In fact, the study of happiness is unique neither to our hemispherenor to our postmodern age. People everywhere, and always,have sought the key to happin

12、ess. Plato institutionalized the studyof the good life in his Academy, while his star student, Aristotle,opened the competing Lyceum to promote his own take on fl ourishing.More than a century earlier, and on another continent,Confucius walked from village to village to share his prescriptionfor ful

13、fi llment. No great religion or comprehensive philosophicalsystem is indiff erent to the question of happiness, whether in thisworld or in the afterlife. More recently, self-help gurus have occupiedlarge parts of bookstores and conference centers around theworldfrom India to Indiana, from Jerusalem

14、to Jeddah.But while interest in, and study of, the good life transcendstime and place, there are some unique aspects in our age that helpexplain the high demand for positive psychology. In the UnitedStates, rates of depression are ten times higher today than theywere in the ?s, and the average age f

15、or the onset of depressionis fourteen and a half compared to twenty-nine and a half in?. A study conducted in American colleges tells us that nearly? percent of students were “so depressed that they had diffi cultyfunctioning.” Other countries are following in the footsteps ofthe United States. In ?

16、, ? percent in Britain said that theywere very happy, compared to ? percent in ?despite thefact that the British have tripled their wealth over the last halfcentury. With the rapid growth in the Chinese economy comesa rapid growth in the number of adults and children who experienceanxiety and depres

17、sion. According to the Chinese HealthMinistry, “h e mental health status of our countrys children andyouths is indeed worrying.”x ? PrefaceWhile levels of material prosperity are on the rise, so are levelsof depression. Even though our generationin most Westerncountries as well as in an increasing n

18、umber of places in theEastis wealthier than previous generations, we are not happierfor it. A leading scholar in the fi eld of positive psychology, MihalyCsikszentmihalyi, asks a simple question with a complex answer:“If we are so rich, why arent we happy?”As long as people believed that their basic

19、 material needs hadto be met in order for them to lead a fulfi lling life, it was easy toexplain away unhappiness. But now, with the basic needs of manyhaving been met, there is no longer a ready-made justifi cationfor discontent. More and more people are looking to resolve theparadoxthat money seem

20、s to have bought us unhappinessandthey are turning to positive psychology for help.Positive Psychology?psychologygenerally referred to as “the scientifi c studyof optimal human functioning”?was offi cially launched as a fi eldof study in ? by Martin Seligman, president of the AmericanPsychological A

21、ssociation. Until that year, the study of happinessof enhancing the quality of our liveshad largely beendominated by pop psychology. In the multitude of self-help seminarsand books, there is much fun and charisma, and yet many(though far from all) off er little substance. h ey promise fi ve easystep

22、s to happiness, the three secrets of success, and four ways tofi nd your perfect lover. h ese are usually empty promises, andover the years, people have become cynical about self-help.On the other side we have academe, with writing and researchthat are substantive but that do not fi nd their way int

23、o most households.As I see it, the role of positive psychology is to bridge theWhy PosPositive pPreface ? xiivory tower and Main Street, the rigor of academe and the fun ofthe self-help movement. h at, too, is the purpose of this book.Many self-help books overpromise and underdeliver, becausefew of

24、them are subjected to the test of the scientifi c method. Incontrast, ideas that have appeared in academic journals and havepassed the academic process from conception to publication usuallyhave much more substance. While their authors are generallyless grandiose, making fewer promises to fewer read

25、ers, theseauthors also tend to deliver on their promises.And yet, because positive psychology bridges the ivory towerand Main Street, advice given by positive psychologistswhetherin book form, in lectures, or on a websitecan sometimes soundlike the advice that self-help gurus off er. It is simple an

26、d accessiblelike pop psychology isbut it is simple and accessible in aradically diff erent way.Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes remarked, “Iwould not give a fi g for the simplicity on this side of complexity,but I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side ofcomplexity.” Holm

27、es was interested in the simplicity that comesafter searching and researching, deep refl ection, and laborioustestingnot in baseless platitudes and off -the-cuff assertions.Positive psychologistsby delving into the depth of a phenomenonemerge on the other side of complexity with accessible ideasand

28、practical theories, as well as simple techniques and tips thatwork. h is is no easy feat. Foreshadowing Holmes, Leonardo daVinci pointed out that “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”Concerned with distilling the essence of the good life, positivepsychologists, alongside other social scientis

29、ts and philosophers,have spent a great deal of time and eff ort attempting to reach thesimplicity on the other side of complexity. h eir ideas, some ofwhich I describe in this book, can help you lead a happier, morefulfi lled life. I know they canthey have done so for me.xii ? PrefaceUsing This Book

30、h is bookis intended to help you understand the nature of happiness;more than that, it is intended to help you become happier.But merely reading this book (or any other book for that matter)is unlikely to make that happen. I do not believe that there areshortcuts to meaningful change, and if this bo

31、ok is to have a realimpact on your life, you have to treat it as a workbook. h e workhas to comprise both refl ection and action.Eff ortlessly glossing over the text is not enough; deep refl ectionis necessary. Toward that end, throughout the book, thereare breaks in the text labeled “Time-In” (as o

32、pposed to “Time-Out”). h ese are intended to provide you with an opportunity, areminder, to stop for a few minutes, to refl ect on what you havejust read, to look inside yourself. Without the breaks, without takinga time-in, most of the material in this book will likely remainabstract for youand thu

33、s be soon forgotten.In addition to the Time-Ins throughout the text, at the end ofeach chapter there are longer exercises intended to elicit refl ectionand actionto help you take the material to a deeper level. Someof the exercises will probably resonate with you more than otherswill; for example, k

34、eeping a journal may be easier for you thanmeditating. Start by doing the exercises that feel most natural toyou, and, as they begin to help, gradually expand your repertoireby doing others. However, if any exercise in the book does notmake you feel good, simply dont do it and move on to the nextone

35、. h e exercises are all based on what I have found to be thebest interventions that psychologists have to off erand the moretime you invest in doing them, the more likely you are to benefi tfrom the book.h e book is divided into three sections. In Part ?, Chapters ?through ?, I discuss what happines

36、s is and the essential compo-ThPreface ? xiiinents of a happy life; in the second part, Chapters ? through ?,I focus on putting these ideas into practice in education, in theworkplace, and in relationships; the fi nal part comprises sevenmeditations in which I off er some thoughts on the nature of h

37、appinessand on its place in our lives.In Chapter ?, I begin by recounting the experience thatlaunched my search for a better life. In the following chapter, Iargue that happiness arises neither from simply satisfying immediatedesires nor from the infi nite delay of satisfaction. Our usualmodels for

38、happinessthe hedonist who lives only for pleasurein the moment and the rat racer who postpones gratifi cation forthe purpose of attaining some future goaldo not work for mostpeople, because they ignore our basic need for a sense of bothpresent and future benefi t.In Chapter ?, I demonstrate why, in

39、order to be happy, we needto fi nd both meaning and pleasureto have both a sense of purposeand the experience of positive emotions. In Chapter ?, I suggestthat happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded asthe ultimate currencythe currency by which we take measureof our lives. I consider th

40、e relationship between material wealthand happiness and ask why so many people are in danger of emotionalbankruptcy despite unprecedented levels of material wealth.Chapter ? ties the ideas presented in this book to the existing psychologicalliterature on goal setting.In Chapter ?, I begin to apply t

41、he theory and ask why most studentsdislike school. I then examine ways in which educatorsparents and teacherscan help students to be both happy andsuccessful. I introduce two radically diff erent approaches towardthe process of learning: the drowning model and the lovemakingmodel. Chapter ? question

42、s the prevalent assumption that atrade-off between an intrinsic sense of fulfi llment and extrinsicsuccess at work is inevitable. I discuss the process by which we canxiv ? Prefaceidentify work that we fi nd meaningful and pleasurable and thatwe are good at. In Chapter ?, I look at one of the most s

43、ignifi cantelements of a happy life: relationships. I talk about what it reallymeans to love and be loved unconditionally, why this kind of loveis essential for a happy relationship, and how it can contributeto the experience of pleasure and meaning in other areas of ourlives.In the First Meditation

44、 of the fi nal part of the book, I discussthe relationship between happiness, self-interest, and benevolence.In the Second Meditation I introduce the idea of happiness boostersbrief activities that provide both meaning and pleasure, andthat can have an eff ect on our overall levels of well-being. In

45、 theh ird Meditation, I challenge the idea that our level of happinessis predetermined by our genetic makeup or early experiences andthat it cannot be changed. h e Fourth Meditation identifi es waysof overcoming some of the psychological barriersthose internallimitations that we impose upon ourselve

46、s and that stand in theway of living a fulfi lling life. h e Fifth Meditation provides athought experiment that off ers a point from which we can refl ectupon, and fi nd some answers to, the question of questions. h eSixth Meditation considers how our attempt to fi t more and moreactivities into les

47、s and less time may be impeding the possibilityof leading happier lives.h e fi nal meditation is dedicated to the happiness revolution. Ibelieve that if enough people recognize the true nature of happinessas the ultimate currency, we will witness society-wide abundancenot only of happiness but also

48、of goodness.? xv ?AcknowledgmentsIwrote this book with much help from friends, students, andteachers. When I fi rst asked Kim Cooper for help with an earlydraft of this book, I expected a few minor recommendationsbefore I could send it off to publishers. It was not to be. h e hundredsof hours we sub

49、sequently spent working together on thisbookarguing, discussing, sharing, laughinghave made writingthis book the labor of happiness.My special thanks to Shawn Achor, Warren Bennis, JohanBerman, Aletha Camille Bertelsen, Nathaniel Branden, SandraCha, I-Jin Chew, Leemore Dafny, Margot and Udi Eiran, L

50、iatand Shai Feinberg, Dave Fish, Shayne Fitz-Coy, Jessica Glazer,Adam Grant, Richard Hackman, Nat Harrison, Anne Hwang,Ohad Kamin, Joe Kaplan, Ellen Langer, Maren Lau, Pat Lee,Brian Little, Joshua Margolis, Dan Markel, Bonnie Masland,Sasha Mattu, Jamie Miller, Mihnea Moldoveanu, Damian Moskovitz,Ron

51、en Nakash, Jeff Perrotti, Josephine Pichanick, SamuelCopyright ? 2007 by Tal Ben-Shahar. Click here for terms of use.xvi ? AcknowledgmentsRascoff , Shannon Ringvelski, Amir and Ronit Rubin, PhilipStone, Moshe Talmon, and Pavel Vasilyev. h e teaching staffand students in my positive psychology course

52、s have provided mewith an abundance of ideasand an abundance of the ultimatecurrency.In workshops, and in leisurely conversations, colleagues andfriends from Tanker Pacifi c have played an important role in helpingme develop the ideas in this book. My special thanks to IdanOfer, Hugh Hung, Sam Norto

53、n, Anil Singh, Tadic Tongi, andPatricia Lim.I am grateful to my agent, Rafe Sagalyn, for his patience, support,and encouragement. John Aherne, my editor at McGraw-Hill, believed in my work from the outset and helped make thepublishing process so enjoyable.I have been blessed with a large and close-k

54、nit familytheycreate a circle of happiness for me. To the Ben-Shahars, Ben-Poraths, Ben-Urs, Grobers, Kolodnys, Markses, Millers, Moseses,and Roses my gratitude for the countless hours we havespentand will continue to spenddiscussing and living thegood life. To my grandparents, for living through th

55、e worst andexemplifying the best.Many of the ideas in this book emerged from discussions withmy brother and sister, Zeev and Ateret, two brilliant and insightfulpsychologists. Tami, my wife and helpmeet, patiently listenedto my ideas when they were in the raw and then read and commentedon everything

56、 that I wrote. Our children, David andShirelle, patiently sat on my lap while my wife and I discussedthe book (and once in a while turned around and smiled at me,reminding me what true bliss is). My parents provided me withthe foundation from which I was able to write aboutand, moreimportant, to fi

57、ndhappiness.This page intentionally left blankPart 1What IsCopyright ? 2007 by Tal Ben-Shahar. Click here for terms of use.This page intentionally left blank? ? ?1h e Question ofHappinessIn the middle of diffi culty lies opportunity.Albert EinsteinI was sixteen years old when I won the Israeli natio

58、nal squashchampionship. It was an event that brought the subject of happinessinto sharp focus in my life.I had always believed that winning the title would make mehappy, would alleviate the emptiness I felt so much of the time.For the fi ve years I had trained for the event I felt that somethingimpo

59、rtant was missing from my lifesomething that all of themiles run, the weights lifted, the self-motivating speeches playingand replaying in my mind were not providing. But I believedthat it was only a matter of time before that “missing something”would fi nd its way into my life. After all, it seemed

60、 clear to methat the mental and physical exertion were necessary to win thechampionship. Winning the championship was necessary for fulfillment. Fulfi llment was necessary for happiness. h at was thelogic I operated under.Copyright ? 2007 by Tal Ben-Shahar. Click here for terms of use.? ? WHAT IS HA