大学英语写作 3-What a Good Sentence Is

1、College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangPart 3What Is an Effective Sentence This is where we learn to see what a good sentence should be like.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangWhat is a good sentence?nA good sentence should have t

2、he following qualities:n1) unity;n2) coherence ;n3) conciseness；n4) emphasis；n5) variety.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangUnity(一致性)nA unified sentence expresses a single complete thought. It does not contain ideas that are not closely related, nor does it expr

3、ess a thought that is not complete itself.e.g: n* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.nImproved: Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangUnity(一致性)e.g:n* Born in a small town in South China in the early

4、50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.nImproved: He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory(音乐学校). In the 70s, he became a famous musician.nImproved: Although he was born in a small town, he grew up to be a

5、famous musician.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)nCoherence means clear and reasonable connections between parts.nIt is not coherent if it has faulty parallel constructions, dangling or misplaced modifiers, pronouns with ambiguous reference, confu

6、sing shift in person and number, or voice, tense, and mood.e.g：n* Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets.nImproved: Du Fu was one of the Greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty in China.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)faulty parallel constructionse.g：n*

7、A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.nRevised: 1) A man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does. 2) A man is judged not only by his words but also by his deeds.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)faulty p

8、arallel constructionse.g：n* We thought she was charming, intelligent and a very capable young women.nRevised: 1) We thought she was charming, intelligent and very capable. 2) We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English D

9、ep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)faulty parallel constructionse.g：n* We have great faith and high hopes for her.nRevised: We have great faith in and high hopes for her.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)pronoun with ambiguous referencee.g：n* She tol

10、d my sister that she was wrong.nRevised: 1) Im wrong, she said to my sister. 2) She admitted that she was wrong and said to my sister. 3) You were wrong, she said to my sister. 4) My sister was told that she was wrong.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(

11、连贯性)pronoun with ambiguous referencee.g：n* He was knocked down by a bike, but it was not serious.nRevised: 1) He was knocked down by a bike, but was not seriously hurt.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)dangling modifierse.g：n* On entering the class

12、room, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!nRevised: 1) When the teacher entered the classroom, the students stood up and said, Good Morning!. 2) On entering the classroom, the teacher was greeted by the students, who stood up and said, Good Morning!College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangColleg

13、e English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)dangling modifierse.g：n* Looking out of the window, the grassland goes as far as the eyes can reach.nRevised: 1) Looking out of the window, he/she/I can see the grassland going as far as the eyes can reach. 2) Outside the window, the grassland goes as far

14、as the eyes can reach.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* I read an interesting story in a magazine about sportsman.nRevised: 1) I read an interesting story about sportsman in a magazine. 2) In a magazine I read an interesti

15、ng story about sportsman.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.nRevised: 1) The idea he first mentioned sounded good. 2) The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.College English D

16、ep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* She bought several books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children.nRevised: 1) She bought several books for her children and put them into her bag. 2) She put into her bag the

17、books she had bought for her children.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)misplaced modifierse.g：n* He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.nRevised: 1) He gave a reason, which nobody believed, for not attending the meet

18、ing. 2) He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, a reason which nobody believed.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)confusing change in persone.g：n* An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not co

19、py.nRevised: An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, he/she should not copy.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)confusing change in numbere.g：n* Those who wish to take maths are expected to sign his name on this s

20、heet of paper.nRevised: Those who wish to take maths are expected to sign their names on this sheet of paper.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)confusing changing moode.g：n* Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. Dont rel

21、y on your teachers help.nRevised: Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. They should not rely on their teachers help.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCoherence(连贯性)confusing change in voice e.g：n* She reviewed the lesson taught last

22、week and all the exercises assigned by the teacher were done.nRevised: She reviewed the lesson taught last week and (she) did all the exercises assigned by the teacher.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangConciseness(简明) nA sentence should contain no unnecessary wo

23、rds. nIf the idea is fully/clearly expressed, the fewer words are used, the better.e.g：n* It was blue in color.n* Mary is a quiet and careful woman.nRevised: nIt was blue.nMary is quiet and careful.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangConciseness(简明) delete unneces

24、sary repetitione.g：n* He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.n* In my opinion, I think your plan is doable.nRevised: nHe gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them was convincing.n* In my opinion, your plan is doable.College English Dep.,YCU Li Gan

25、ggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangConciseness(简明) change sentence structuree.g：n* There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it.nRevised: n1) The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees

26、around it.n2) The pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.n3) On the top of the mountain was a giant pine tree which towered over the trees around it.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) nWhen there is an important idea,

27、 it should be expressed with emphasis. nWays of emphasis include: n1) using emphatic sentencesn2) using emphasis within sentenceCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentences nEmphatic sentences include:n1) short sentences;n2) sentence

28、 fragments;n3) inverted sentences(倒装句);n4) balanced sentences;n5) periodic sentences;College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentences nEmphatic sentences include:n6) imperative or exclamatory sentences;n7) rhetorical questions;n8) negati

29、ve-positive statements;n9) sentences with repeated words or phrases.College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.using short sent

30、ences and sentence fragmentCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) In rushed the noisy children.n2) The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life.using inverted sentence(倒装)College English Dep.,YCU Li Ganggan

31、gCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) You call that a good play? What is good about it?n2) I didnt get a ticket for the opera. How could I?n3) Didnt I tell you that you must not touch this machine?using rhetorical questions(修辞问句)College English Dep.,YCU

32、 Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) The delegates shouted and quarreled. It was not a meeting; it was a farce(闹剧).n2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.using negative-positive statem

33、ents(修辞问句)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) using emphatic sentencese.g: n1) Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.n2) There was so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy,

34、 but a comedy.using repeated words or phrases(修辞问句)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调) nEmphasis within sentences include:n1) Placing;n2) repetition;n3) verb and active voice;n4) complex sentence;n5) a series of short

35、sentences;n6) emphatic words and phrasesn7) alliteration (头韵)College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) There is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old, in the templen2) In the temple there is a big tree, which

36、 is said to be 300 years old.Placing：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) Wang Bing is modest and hardworking and is a good student.n2) Modest and hardworking, Wang Bing is a good student.n3) Wang Bing is a good

37、 student, modest and hardworking.Placing：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) At the sight of the disorderly crowd, he was aware that something bad would be possible.n2) The moment he saw the disorderly crowd, h

38、e knew that something bad would happen.The verb and active voice：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) We planted many trees yesterday.n2) Many trees were planted yesterday.The verb and active voice：College Engli

39、sh Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: nThe professor walked into the classroom and he carried a bag of books with him.n1) The professor walked into the classroom, carrying a bag of books with him.n2) The professor walked into the

40、 classroom with a bag of books with him.Subordination：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) Lee, a new student from a southern province, speaks a dialect which is difficult for us to understand.n2) Lee is a new student. He comes from a southern province. He speaks a dialect. We find it hard to understand his dialect.A series of short sentences：College English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangCollege English Dep.,YCU Li GanggangEmphasis(重点突出) emphasis within sentence(句内强调)e.g: n1) This is the very dictionary I have been