【心灵鸡汤】高中英语增加词汇量四步带你找到真正的幸福素材

1、1心灵鸡汤：四步带你找到真正的幸福Two mon ths ago a new clie nt en tered my office for her first coach ing sessi on. AllI want is to feel happy, she said. Im miserable and I focus on that misery all day Ion g.两个月前，一个新客户来到我的办公室参加她的第一次辅导课。“我要的是感到高兴，”她说，“我很痛苦，而且我整天专注于怎样把自己从痛苦中解救出来。”It seemed like a fairly simplerequest

2、 , so we went to work.这似乎是一个非常简单的要求，所以我们就开始了。Weekafter week I witnessed the smile on my clients face becoming more consistent , moreauthe ntic .Soon she bega n talk ing about the laughter and pleasa nt activities that now fill her days. So I askedwhether she thought that we had achieved her happ in

3、ess goal. I was surprised whe n she said n o.几周过后，我亲眼目睹了我的客户脸上露出坚定真诚的笑容。因此她开始谈论每天充斥在身边的笑料和愉快的活动。因此我问她是否认为我们已经达到了她的幸福目标，但我很惊讶的是她说“没有”。What I learned is that thisvibrantwoman believed that in orderherself as happy she could n ever feel sad. To her, sad ness andfeeli ngs are not allowed in the life of

4、some one who defi nes themselves as ahappy person. But that is not what the human experienee is actually about.我了解到的是，这个充满活力的女人认为，为了让她看起来很幸福，她不能觉得悲伤。对她来说，悲伤等不愉快的情绪在生活中是不允许出现在一个幸福的人身上的。但是这不是真正的人生体验。If we dont allow a n atural progressi on of the result ingun pleasa ntfeeli ngs wewill never fully expe

5、rienee and embrace the joy in life. Thats right;where thereisblack, thereis white, its just how n ature works.There aretwo compleme ntaryforces that make up all aspects of life and we must allow andaccept their bala nee.如果我们不允许一个不愉快情绪的自然的产生， 我们就无法体验和拥抱生活的乐趣。正是这样；当有黑暗的地方就有光明， 这才是自然的。生活的各个方面都有两个互补的力量，

6、 我们 必须允许和接受它们的平衡。This is the un dersta nding that my clie nt was miss ing.这是我的顾客对生活漏掉的领悟。And it begs the questi on: Happ in ess-what is it, really?它引出了一个问题：幸福一一到底是什么？In simplest form, happ in ess is a state of being. Sure, our circumsta nces in flue nee the level of happ iness we can access, but hap

7、p in ess is withi n us, not around us.Weall have it, but we eachdefine it differently and have varying expectations of ourselves and our ownabilities to be happy. And that is what causes theconfusion .在最简单的情况下， 幸福是一种状态。当然，我们能接触到的环境会影响幸福的水平，但是幸福在我们心里，而不是在我们周围。我们都拥有它，但是我们每个人的定义不同，我们有 不同的期望，我们想要幸福。这就是造

8、成混乱的原因。Its perfectly OK to have mome nts or days of feeli ng bad, rather tha n good. Whento characterizeother un pleasa nt2we resist the feelings that we categorize as unpleasant , it simply causes more resista nee , leadi ng togreater un happ in ess. Lets deb unk the happ in essmyth.These steps mig

9、ht just help you develop a healthy-a nd, dare I say, happy-life bala nee.因此完全可以有不开心的时间。如果我们抵触那些被列为不开心的事情，这会导致更多的阻力，也就会导致更多的不开心。让我们来揭穿幸福的秘密。这些步骤可以帮你养成一个健康 而且幸福的生活平衡。1. Build a solidfoun dati on打好基础。Martin Seligman is one of the leading researchers in positive psychology and author of Authe nticHapp i

10、n ess.Seligma n describeshapp in essas hav ing three parts:pleasure, engagement,and meaning. Pleasure is the feel good part ofhapp in ess.En gageme nt refers to livi ng a good life of work, family, frien ds,and hobbies. Meaning refers to using our stre ngths tocon tributeto a largerpurpose.Seligman

11、says that all three are important, but that of the three,engagement and meaning make the most difference to living a happy life.马丁塞利格曼是积极心理学主要研究者和真正的幸福的作者。塞利格曼把幸福定义为三个方面：快乐，参与和意义。快乐是幸福“感觉不错”的部分。参与表示“美好生活”的工作、家庭、朋友和爱好等方面。意义指的是利用我们的优势来促进更大的目标完成。塞利格曼说，这三点很重要，但是参与和意义对幸福生活影响最大。Revisityour relationships.

12、Are they satisfactory? Do you have a goodsupportn etwork in place? If not, work on buildi ng it up. When you hit a bump inthe road havi ng supportive people around you will make a world of differe nce.重温你的关系网， 这些关系是否令人满意呢？你有一个很好地支持你的交际网吗？如果没 有， 建设起来。当你遇到颠簸的道路，支持你的人可以帮你创造出不同的世界。Also, review how youco

13、n tributeto a larger purpose. Focus ing on someth ing biggerthan you are helps to keep things inperspective .此外，知道如何做有助于实现更大的目标。看的更广阔的可以让你看事情更正确。2. Set realisticexpectati ons.设定切合自我实际的目标。You are huma n. Forci ng or faking happ in ess leads tomisery and con flict. Evenif you create your happ in essfo

14、un datio nand achieve a state of gen eralwell-being, you will have your ups and downs. Its how you deal with those fluctuati ons that matters.Condemn ati onand n egativity willjeopardize yourstate of bala nce. Get real.Elimi natethe pressure and you will bounce backmore quickly.你是个普通人。强迫或者伪造幸福会导致痛苦和

15、冲突。即使你创造了你的幸福基础，实现了总体幸福感的状态，你也将有你的跌宕起伏。因此，你如何处理那些生活中的波动至关重要。谴责和否认定将危及你的平衡状态，面对现实吧！消除压力，你会更迅速的恢复活力。3. Allow your feeli ngs, rather tha n resist ing them.3遵从真实感受，而不是抵制它们。Thereare dayswhe n you will wake up feeli ngun happy. Whether youfullyunderstandit or not, its important to accept that this happens

16、. Be patientwith yourself. Dontcomplain , but doindulgein a little time to examine yourfeeli ngs without criticism. Rathertha n, I hate whe n I feel like this, try Itsin teresti ng that I have these feeli ngs. Be OK with it and exam ine the feeli ngs for a little while if theymerit your atte nti on.

17、 If not, simply turn yourfocus toyour larger purpose topreventyourself fromdwellingon something that isntdwell-worthy.总有当你醒来感觉不快的几天。无论你是否完全理解， 重要的是要接受这种情况的发生。对自己有耐心。不要抱怨，而是要不带批判性的检查自己的情绪。不是“我讨厌当我有这种感觉的时候”，而是试着想想“有这种感觉很奇妙。”对这些情绪保持淡定，如果这种情绪值得关注，检查它；如果没有，把你的关注点放在更大的目标上，来防止你关注不必要的东西。4. Be ready for cha

18、nge为改变做好准备。Ups and downs are normal , but if you find yourself in what feels like a con sta nt state of un happ in essits importa nt to liste n to what your body and mind are telli ng you. Life has a funny way of tapp ing uson theshoulder whe n weneed to create change. If you dont pay attentionto the gentletapping, you maybe surprised by a less gentlereminder -or series of them.跌宕起伏是正常的，但是如果你处于一个一直不开心的状态，有必要听从你身体和情感的意愿。生活以一种有趣的方式，在我们需要改变时轻拍我们的肩膀。如果你没有注意到这种轻拍，你可能会对不太温和的提醒感到惊讶（这样的提醒可能会有一大串）。Either way, your subc on scious mind will get your atte nti on to suggest, or force,c