教学要旨编织奇想

1、task c-2 story continuationlesson planconductor: niu ruiyingdate: april 20, 2009class: class 07, 2007purpose: students will learn how to to create fictional plotshow to use description + narration + dialogues + simile + metaphor in writinghow to write in plain and succinct english languageobjective:

2、 students will be able to master further techniques of writing descriptions, narrations and dialoguesmaterials / resources:1. the course book “write to learn”2. ppt slides3. handouts in classactivities and procedures:1. review techniques of narrative writing and descriptive writing.2. talk about dia

3、logue writing refer to pp. 182-183 of the course book.3. talk about figures of speech refer to pp. 60-61 of the course book.4. students read the input reading article “chon” by themselves and try to answer some cued questions.5. students exchange their ideas about the article by following the cued q

4、uestions.6. the class analyze the article together, especially focusing on narration, description, dialogues, metaphors and similes, and characteristics of the language. 7. draw students attention to some expressions of the article.8. assign new writing task a cotinuation to chon.9. students do brai

5、nstorming and write a very brief continuation to the story.10. students read each others continuation, give comments and correct language errors.11. read some students continuations to the class and give comments.for teachers reference:task c-2story continuation 教学要旨：编织奇想话题范文：chon (the first part)学生

6、佳作赏析：(1) a continuation to chon (2) a continuation to chon小笔吧：拟人化 炼句技巧：同义珠玑课外练笔：a real book迄今为止，同学们还停留在模拟范文的阶段，从本任务起，想慢慢地把大家引向自由创作。下面提供的不是一篇完整的范文，而只是一篇小说的开头，情节离奇，留给学生很大的想象空间。所设计的任务是续写，把这个开头发展成一篇完整的故事。阅读范文:chonsometimes mary hated living so far from work. out here, the buses ran only once an hour. so

7、metimes they didnt come at all. mary looked at her watch. today the bus was already fifteen minutes late. “maybe i just wont go to work today,” mary said to herself. but she knew she didnt mean it. she couldnt afford to miss work not with two children to feed. since her divorce, it took every penny

8、she made just to scrape by. thats why she and the children had moved to the country. rents were cheaper out there. mary watched the birds flying in the distance. a cool breeze blew. she put on the thin old sweater she had been carrying. she watched the sunlight dancing in the leafy trees. it was goi

9、ng to be another lovely day. she wished she could spend the day outside. she wanted to be as free as the birds in the sky. mary sighed. it was hard to work all day at the restaurant and then come home to housework late at night. and late buses didnt make her long days any easier. as mary watched, on

10、e of the birds seemed to be dropping out of the sky. only it didnt exactly look like a bird. somehow it looked more like an airplane. mary watched as it slowly floated toward her. “how strange!” she said to herself. “planes never fly over this part of the country. the airport is 50 miles away.” as t

11、he thing came closer, mary saw that it wasnt a plane either. it looked like a flying lizard! the surface of the lizard ship was covered with shiny green scales. its wings shone in the morning sun! mary was frozen with fear. she knew that there was no place to hide. she prayed that the thing in front

12、 of her would go away. but the ship landed right on the road in front of her. it was making a low humming sound. mary still couldnt move. then she heard a high-pitched sound above the low hum. it was a door opening under the body of the lizard ship. out came a long ramp. the ship continued to hum as

13、 the ramp reached the ground in front of mary. mary hid her face in her hands. her whole body was shaking. next she heard a hissing sound, like gas escaping from a pipe. then all was quiet. mary opened her eyes and peeked through her fingers. she couldnt believe what she saw. a woman in a gleaming s

14、ilver bodysuit was standing a few feet in front of her. she carried a small box and smiled softly. “are you chon?” mary heard. “what?” mary asked. “are you chon?” the question came again. mary stared. the womans lips had not moved! the words had just appeared in marys head, like thoughts. “i have gi

15、fts for chon,” the woman said. she opened the box she was holding. suddenly the air around her seemed to glow with yellow light. “what is it?” mary asked. “it is gold for chon.” “but i am not chon,” mary said. “my name is mary. who are you? and where do you come from?” the woman from the lizard ship

16、 said nothing. she closed the box and walked back up the ramp. the door opened and closed with a hiss. mary heard the low humming sound again as the ship lifted and disappeared. mary started to run. she wanted to tell someone anyone about what had happened. but there was no one at home. her children

17、 were at school. a man in a station wagon drove by. mary waved at him to stop. but he didnt understand. he smiled and waved back, but he didnt stop. the country road was quiet again. mary walked back toward the bus stop. when the bus came, she could tell the driver. but would he believe her? would a

18、nyone believe her? then mary heard the low hum again. she looked up and saw another lizard ship. only this one was blue as blue as the ocean. its scales sparkled in the morning sun. mary watched and waited. it landed. again the door opened with a hissing sound. again a woman dressed in silver came d

19、own the ramp. this woman, too, was holding a box and smiling softly. “i have gifts for chon,” mary heard. the woman opened the box. this time a cool, white light filled the air. “what is it?” mary asked. “diamonds,” the woman answered. “diamonds for chon.” “but my name is mary,” mary said. the woman

20、 smiled and closed the box. “these are for chon.” in a few seconds she, too, was gone. mary was beside herself. no one was going to believe her story. anyone she told would think that she was crazy. mary began walking slowly toward her house. the bus passed and the driver honked, but mary waved to h

21、im to keep going. work could wait. something else was on her mind now. after a few minutes on the road, mary again heard the sound she had been waiting for. the sound of the familiar, low hum got louder. mary looked up. this lizard ship made the other two look small. its huge wings shaded the open f

22、ield around her. its giant red scales glinted in the sun. this time when the ship landed, two women dressed in shiny silver suits made their way down the ramp. mary watched them come forward. she was no longer afraid. “who are you?” mary heard the women ask. mary looked at the boxes they were carryi

23、ng. she thought of the other two boxes, filled with gold and diamonds. “my name is chon,” mary answered. by bernard jackson and susie quintanilla评析：上面的范文作为小说的开头部分，构思精巧，营造了科幻的神奇气氛，可以当作一篇结构完整的微型小说来读。这一选段以寻找“chon”为主线，以mary为主角，通过mary屡次遇到赠送珍贵礼物给“chon”的飞船来展开故事，情节虽然简单，但布下重重悬念：谁是“chon”？为什么送给“chon”各种珍贵的礼物？送礼

24、物的人又是谁，来自何方？而遇到这些离奇事情的mary又正好生活艰辛、经济拮据，在两次否认之后，在经历了惊讶、害怕、激动之后，她平静下来，到第三次遇到飞船时，她改以肯定的回答，冒充自己是“chon”。选段到此结束，故事嘎然而止，这个“结尾”设下了新的悬念，留下了丰富的想象空间，为后续情节做了铺陈。如果把这个选段当作微型小说来读，这样的结尾就是精妙之处，既出人意料又折射人性，扣人心弦又意味深长，任由读者想象后面将会发生的故事，耐人寻味。本文在风格上语言朴实，多用短句，行文简洁，节奏明快，注重刻画心理，离奇的情节却包裹在朴素真实的生活场景和气息中。这篇范文篇幅不长，情节并不曲折，内容也不怪异，却以重

25、重悬念引人入胜，可见写作中发挥想象力编织奇想能带给读者高级的情节趣味和艺术魅力，给读者以震撼与思考。写作者缺乏想象力如同鸟儿没有翅膀，无法振臂高飞，无法领略更广阔的天地。接下去，就要由同学们自己展开想象的双翼，把小说的情节推向纵深，同时赋予作品更发人深省的意义。suggested writing taskwrite a continuation of at least 500 words for this incomplete story with both your imagination and your knowledge. try to imitate its language sty

26、le, and to be creative. 学生佳作赏析：青年学生的想象力是非常丰富的，往届许多学生的续写都相当成功，下面就来欣赏其中两篇，还有不少特色各异的佳作选登在我们的课程网站上，欢迎点击。（1） a continuation to chon 广外大05级 邓丽君the two women came closer to mary, smiling softly. they opened the two boxes and in a minute the air around shone with yellow and white light. inside were gold and

27、 diamonds.“gold and diamonds for chon.” the two women said when they handed the boxes to mary. mary stared at the fortune in her own hands with tears in her eyes. she suddenly became wordless because of happiness and surprise. before mary could respond, the two women disappeared together with the li

28、zard ship.mary looked around: no one saw what had happened. she ran home as quickly as possible. “im rich now. i do not need that tiring work and stupid bus any more. i can buy my own car, have my own servants, and spend the lovely days outside whenever i want.” mary said to herself. however, her ex

29、citement lasted only for a while when a sense of worry filled her mind.what would other people think about her windfalls? they might suspect her of stealing or other misdeeds. what if some robbers ended her life in order to grab her wealth? the more mary imagined, the more scared she felt. finally s

30、he decided to hide the gold and diamonds underground for a moment. mary went out to work again. she wanted to pretend as if everything remained the same, though she became quite alert to her surroundings. after a few minutes, a similar humming sound drew near towards mary from the sky. she stood sti

31、ll, grinning. a lizard ship landed and out came a woman dressed in shiny silver suit.“who are you?” the woman asked, smiling.“my name is chon.” mary replied.“jade for chon.” the woman opened a box and handed it to mary and disappeared.marys face was shone with green light given off from the box. she

32、 was too amazed at the invaluable stone to notice that another lizard ship had already descended near her. when mary looked up, a woman in silver was standing in front of her with a smile on her face.“who are you?” she asked.“eri am chonchon.” mary faltered.“pearls for chon.” the woman said as she o

33、pened a box.this time, before mary had time to appreciate the treasure from the sea, one lizard ship appeared after another. the sky above mary was shadowed by the huge wings and she felt the ground shake as a result of the loud humming. though shocked, mary could still answer their questions mechan

34、ically and received all kinds of treasures from those similar women dressed in shiny silver bodysuits.the lizard ships were gone and it became quiet again. mary was left there alone, gape mouthed. she shook her head and then ran home rapidly, holding the treasures in her arms.she shut the door and l

35、eaned upon it, feeling out of breath. was it a dream? how could she sell them for money without raising peoples doubts? would her children be kidnapped when the baddy got to know her large amount of wealth? mary was now not happy at all.she went to the window for some fresh air. it was noon already.

36、 the birds were resting in the trees to escape the hot sun. the breeze was dry. all of a sudden, mary caught sight of the same lizard ship landing not far from her house again. she ran out immediately. but this time it did not come for her. she saw a woman in silver with a box in her hand. “who are

37、you?” the woman asked a young lady. “my name is mary.” the lady answered.“love for mary.” the woman opened the box. an angel slowly flew out from it in a soft white light.“stop it!” the lady shouted, “i am not mary! stop giving me those useless happiness, kindness, or love. why dont you send me some

38、 gold or diamonds?”at that moment, how much mary wished she herself were mary! 点评：这篇续写习作篇幅不长，构思却很独特，没有去设想女主人公mary会干些什么，而是延续和重复了范文中的情节，让mary不断遇到飞船并以“chon”的身份无数次得到珍宝。本文的闪亮之处是结尾部分，经过前面mary不断遇到与得到的重复，加重她担忧与疲倦的心理的铺垫，最后富裕但并不快乐的她发现飞船不但给“chon”礼物，也给“mary”礼物，而且那些才是她最需要，最期望的不是财宝，而是“幸福”，“仁慈”和“爱”。可是，她自己冒名顶替了别人，也

39、有人冒名顶替了她，她再想当回“mary”已不可能了。这样的构思胜在于单一重复的情节后面设置了出人意料的结局，讽刺意味浓郁，使主题意外深化，引起读者对生活的深思，这种意味深长的结尾无疑与范文有异曲同工之妙，而且可以与范文融成一体。科幻只是外衣，并不展现神奇，而是揭示现实生活的真谛，这是作者的高明之处。本文的另一优点是写作风格保持了与范文的相近，语言朴实，多用短句，行文简洁，节奏明快，注重心理描写。好的续写作品除了保持情节的延续还要求风格的统一，这篇习作基本做到了。（2） a continuation to chon99级 朱慜the women smiled. “you are chon?” m

40、ary heard one of them ask again. “yyes,” mary hesitated for one or two seconds and answered. suddenly she felt afraid. she was lying, and lying made her feel guilty. but the gold and diamondsshe needed them. “here is our gift for you, chon.” the other woman said, “take one.” “what?” mary was a littl

41、e bit confused. “whats wrong with you? you know the rules. hurry up! we wont stay long here.” “i, i am sorry but, but i am not quite sure about the rules, uh” “i see,” the woman said softly and patiently. “well, both of them are for you, but you can choose only one now. you will get the other onelat

42、er. now take one.” mary thought for a while. she didnt know which one to take. the gold and diamonds were still in her mind, and she hoped there would be something more precious in the box she was to choose. anyway, more thinking wouldnt help. mary chose the box held by the woman standing on her lef

43、t. the two women were smiling as before, and seemed to be indifferent to her choice. mary took the box, and immediately felt a little disappointed. it was quite light, and a box full of gold or diamonds should not be that light.with shaking hands mary opened the box. there was a check in the box. be

44、side it was a small black gadget, looking like a pager or a small remote controller. “wow”mary said to herself. “a check may be better.” she took the check out of the box and studied it carefully. she didnt believe her eyes. the amount was one million dollars! mary bit her upper lip slightly. it hur

45、t .she was not dreaming. after counting the six zeros following the number “1”, she wasnt disappointed any longer. “the check is cashable,” mary heard a womans voice again, “and we hope you will like this gift” “oh, i like it very much!” mary thought. “in three years, if you want to see us or still

46、want the other box，” the woman continued, “switch on the ae caller and come here to wait for us.” “three years?” mary looked at the gadget and asked, “i cant use it in three years from now on?” “no.” with no more words, the two women turned around and walked back to the lizard ship. the door opened

47、and closed with a hiss. mary heard the low humming sound again as the ship lifted and disappeared. marys life changed. being a millionaire was different. anyway, one million dollars was not a small sum of money. mary and her children moved back to the city. she bought a large house for her family. r

48、enting would not be a problem any longer. the old clothes had also become part of the history. mary threw away nearly all her old clothes but kept the thin old sweater she wore on that morning. for some unspeakable reason she wanted to keep the sweater. “at least it is a memento.” she said to hersel

49、f. she flew to paris and brought back several suitcases of latest fashion clothes. wearing them was a dream for any ordinary woman in the world.marys new house was decorated beautifully. the furniture was made in italy. the vases were airlifted from china. the wooden floor was designed in germany. t

50、here were new sets of electrical household appliances, and mary didnt even need to think about the old days when she had to do housework late at night. a new car was of course necessary, wasnt it? who would like to take those late buses? mary chose a new lincoln for herself. “i am using some money f

51、rom sky from et or something.” she shook her head and said, “it is ridiculous.” the children now had their own rooms to live and play in. they had personal computers and a piano. a private teacher came to the house twice a week to help the children with their studies. mary was planning to transfer t

52、he children to a better school. her former husband had broken her heart and the two children were her treasures now. she loved them and was willing to offer anything good and comfortable to them. and she did, with the money from another planet. everything seemed to have become so much better now. bu

53、t mary felt something uncomfortable. she felt she was leading a life devoid of meaning. she was not so used to an easy life with everything provided. every morning when she opened her eyes, she asked herself, “what could i do today?” and she never gave herself a satisfactory answer. for once or twic

54、e she wanted to find a job, but she was not well trained and the jobs that fitted her were those humble ones such as being a waitress at a restaurant. mary hesitated. how could she take up those jobs again, as a millionaire? she also thought about going to take some training course, but that would b

55、e tiring. she would rather lie on the soft long couch and listen to some music than sit in a classroom every night, learning accounting or typing. the comfortable life had taken away the strong will and perseverance from her. by the way, she was not a millionaire now. she had spent so much of the mo

56、ney and there was less and less left. without any stable income, her money was decreasing day after day. crisis was near. time passed quickly. eventually one day mary found that she had used up the one million dollars. it wasnt surprising, was it? although one million dollars was a large sum of mone

57、y, if you spent it in this way, it would go rapidly. crisis did come.each time when mary thought about her financial situation, she wanted to find a new job. each time she wanted to find a new job, she would look around her comfortable home and then hesitated. mary wasnt what she had been one year b

58、efore. mary had also thought about asking the aliens for help. for many times she took out the black gadget they called it ae caller and tried to switch it on. however, it didnt work. “there must be something like a timer in it.” mary thought, “three years i still have two years to go” mary began to sell her property. the chinese vases were valuable b