练就满分作文的策略.ppt

练就满分作文的策略,福清市芦华中学 王钰超,100分,必备条件,内外兼修,中考大纲写作要求,1.能正确地使用大小写字母和标点符号。 2.能应用所学词汇，语法，句型，按照题目要求写出一篇不少于60 词的文段。能简单，描述人物，场所，活动或事件。,3.能根据所给图示或表格， 写出简单的段落或操作说明 4.能就常见的话题表述事实， 表达观点，情感和态度等. 5.能正确使用常见的连接词表示 顺序和逻辑关系,满分作文标准,内在,贴合题意,要点齐全 格式丰富 过渡自然,外在,格式正确 标点准确 书写规范 大小写对,写作流程,审题中审题后 写作前写作中 写作后,审题时,审题时圈出要点并标号,审题后,审完题一句话概括题意,努力出简单,写作前,文章结构提前做好规划 句式及过渡词提前规划,写作中,坚持原则，灵活变动 Whatmore -Further more,写作后,回文阅读，对照清单,实战演练,实战演练,Hi! Liu Jing, My grandpa is going to Beijing next month because he has heard a lot about the city and he would like to see it himself .He says the bus service in Beijing is very good now , and people can go anywhere by bus .Is he right ? Can you tell me something more about it ? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. yours Tony,Hi! Tony, Im glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing ._ _ _ _ _ _ If you have more questions ,please ask me . Yours, Liu Jing,审题中,审题后：审完题一句话概括题意,Introduce the good bus service in Beijing.,写作前文章结构提前做好规划 句式及过渡词提前规划,写作中 :坚持原则，灵活变动,回答问题： Your grandfather is right .The bus service in Beijing is very good now convenient ?,convenient ?便利,There are bus lines all over Beijing and the buses can take you to every corner of the city.,写作中,Considerate 关心体贴,Besides, special seats which are painted yellow are offered on buses to make sure the old and the young can take the bus safely.,写作中 回答问题,Fast 快捷,Whats more , the interval (间隔；空隙)between two buses is so short that people do not spend a long time waiting for a bus .,写作中 回答问题,Cheap 便宜,In addition, the price of the tickets is the lowest in Chine while the service quality of the conductors is the highest.,写作中 回答问题,Summary 小结,写作中 回答问题,Hi! Tony, Im glad to know your grandpa is coming to Beijing .Your grandfather is right .The bus service in Beijing is very good now. There are bus lines all over Beijing and the buses can take you to every corner of the city. Besides, special seats which are painted yellow are offered on buses to make sure the old and the young can take the bus safely Whats more , the interval (间隔；空隙)between two buses is so short that people do not spend a long time waiting for a bus and the tickets are cheap. In addition, the price of the tickets is the lowest in Chine while the service quality of the conductors is the highest. In a word, I think the bus service in Beijing is convenient, considerate, fast and cheap. I like taking a bus. Its also good for the environment. So its a good choice for you grandpa to travel by bus when he visits Beijing If you have more questions, please ask me . Yours, Liu Jing,写作后,优秀作文赏析,作文题目：目前所有的学校都在开展各种各样的体育活动。你们每天是如何开展体育活动的？通过参与这样的活动你有何感受或变化？又有何想法？ 提示词语： all the schools, have all kinds of, sport activities, take exercise, play football, go running, become healthier,提示：本文写作应分为三层： 开篇点题，引入话题； 重点应放在 “你们每天是如何开展体育活动的” 谈谈自己 建议：本文采用三段式比较好。即：开头段，中间段，结尾段。采用一段式容易写偏题。,Example -1 As we all know, many schools are carrying out the plan for students to do more exercise. And now, all the schools have all kinds of sport activities for students. As for our school, things are even better.,We have various （各種各樣）kinds of sports activities after school every day, such as basketball, football, running and so on. Hundreds of students come to the field, some enjoy going running, and others love playing football. And basketball lovers crowded the basketball field. Sometimes there are so many students that you see nothing but students exercising on the playground! Besides, the teachers are busy, too. They are not far away from the field to ensure保護，使安全that there are no accidents, you know, safety first!,As for me, Im a sports fan and I think its necessary for students to do some exercise every day. In this way, we can not only pass the P.E. exams, but also keep healthy! Thanks to the sports activities, I have become healthier than before. All in all, theres nothing better than doing sports every day!,Example -2 Do you have enough time for sports activities every day? Now, its not a big problem, for all the schools encourage students to take exercise at school.,Talking about sport activities every day, its really colorful. Every morning, we have to go running in order to get better grades in P.E. At first, it seems difficult for most of us. But now we are used to running for such a long time, and sometimes we enjoy it. And when we have P.E classes, running is also an important part of it. After running, the teacher sometimes asks us to play basketball, which is interesting. Besides, some of my friends often play tennis together in the afternoon. In their opinion, its a good way to help them keep fit and become healthier; its really worth the time. As the saying goes, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.”,From my point of view, our life is filled with learning now. So why not do something different? Playing sports surely makes you a new person, and helps you to build up a strong body as well. So what are you waiting for? Just join us and take exercise every day!,以上两篇作文的特点： 审题准确、到位，内容要点齐全。 中心明确且层次清楚，语言流畅，通顺。句式多样。 内容丰富，详略得当。整篇文章写的收放自如，无多余废话。 更值得一提的是，文章用词丰富，灵活而简练，都是常用词，更显出作者的语言功底。,学生作文分析：,In fact, all the schools are starting all kinds of sports activities. In our school, teachers ask us to take exercise every day. We have to go running together after school, but some like playing basketball, others like reading books in the classroom. The PE teacher is strict with us because some hate running and they usually stay. But mostly of us can finish running because we know teachers want us to become healthier and pass the exams, too. When the class is over, I am very happy so that I can do my best.,与主题无关,没有从正面反映出学生们如何开展体育活动,没有扣住谈 “你的变化或感受，又有何想法”,无用词语,审题不清，思维混乱,Do sports are very important in our life so all the schools do sport then before. We always do some sports in the morning every day and after that we have PE so we can do many storps every day. I think sport can make me strong and keep my health so I fell more strong then before. I want to do more sport then now. if you want to do sports way dont enjoy us.,基本能看出作者想表达的意思，有基本层次。,语言功底过于薄弱，语法错误严重。,In my shcool, we have all kinks of sports activities. In the morning, we do morning exercise every day. But its not too much to keep our healthy. I am interested in playing badmindon and I usually play it with my classmate after school. I think its good for our health, and make me strong. To play badindon its can make me happy and take me easy. I like it, I will keep it in the future.,问题-1 审题偏差：重点应着重写“ 你们每天是如何开展体育活动的”,此句可以被视为第二层，“我的感受或变化”,多余句，没话找话。作用：增加语法错误。,羽毛球：badminton 应选自己会的词汇写，尽量减少语言错误。,In our school, there are all kinds of sport activities. And in fact, all the schools are making sutdents take exercise now. So our teacher asks us to take part in the exercise, too. In other words, our school let us do some exercise in the afternoon. Such as play football, go running and so on. I always join the sport activities because in this way, Im becoming healthier and healthier. I think I will get more stronger in the future.,分析： 此文的最大问题是该重点写的部分没有展开。 开头过于罗嗦，in other words 一句没有必要， 老师让学生参加体育活动是一句简单明了的句子，还用的着解释吗？有凑字数之嫌。 3. 红色字体为语法错误。,学生作文分析二,原题：还有两周就要参加体育测试了，可是李华这时却感冒了, 发烧、喉咙痛。 他心里很着急。请你以书面形式给他提些建议。不少于60词。开头结尾已给出，不计入。 Dear Li Hua, Im sorry to hear that youre not feeling well. I hope you feel better soon Best wishes, Liz Smith,提示：这是一篇写回信，提建议的文章。常用提建议的句型有： You should / could / shouldnt do Youd better do / not do Why dont you / not do How / What about doing If I were you, I would / wouldnt do its a good idea to do ,建议的内容提示： go to see the doctor take some medicine as you are told lie down and have a rest have some light food, like vegetables drink more water / have some chicken soup which will make you feel better listen to music and relax yourself stop exercising for two or three days,鼓励性的话语： keep cheerful / be happy neednt worry about the PE exam; its just a piece of cake I think you can get over it. Never give up. Youll be better soon.,此类作文中学生们的普遍问题： 一类是提建议的常用句型没有背下来，写作时句型单调；语法错误严重。或无法摆脱母语干扰。另一类是会背几个句型，但提不出什么建议来，属于无话可说型。第三种情况是能写出几条建议，由于没有支撑句作后续，作文显得空洞无物。,Dear Li Hua, Im sorry to hear that youre not feeling well. Dont worry, you will feel better soon. Youd better meet the doctor with your parents. And have some medicine. If you ill trouble, my suggest is have a nice rest every night. As for homework. If you feeling trouble. You can not do your homework and tomorrow you tell your teacher you are ill. At last you must pay attention to you clothes. You should wear some warm clothes!,此文的问题是： 没有扣住 “要参加体育测试，生病，心情焦急” 来提建议。即：文不对题 语言功底较弱，语法错误严重。,. I can give you some advices. First, you should stay in home (and)have a rest. Dont forget to eat medicine. I know you very naught