《巷》翻译点评点评和学习.ppt

巷 THE LANE,国贸一班 代丽蓉 屠佳妮 张馨予,作者介绍,柯灵原名高季琳，原籍浙江绍兴，生于广州。1926年在上海妇女杂志发表叙事诗织布的妇人而步入文坛。1941年与师陀合作根据高尔基的话剧底层改编成话剧剧本夜店(后改编成电影)，有广泛影响。1948年到香港文汇报工作。1949年回到上海，次年加入中国共产党。曾任文汇报副社长兼副总编、上海电影剧本创作所所长、上海电影艺术研究所所长、大众电影主编、上海作协书记处书记、上海影协常务副主席等职。,巷是最能体现作者写作风格的一篇。柯灵笔下的小巷,恬静,和平.通篇弥漫着宁静,清幽的气氛,描写之处看似平淡朴素,但于平淡中饱含真情. 作者充分利用了汉语本身形象性,音乐性强的特点,并大量调动了比喻,对偶,排比等修辞手法,使文章具有很强的艺术感染力，读来流畅自然,琅琅上口,如山间奔流不息的涧水一样波光粼粼,丁冬作响,让人美不胜收,目不暇接.,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。 它可能是一条现代的乌衣巷，家家有自己的一本哀乐帐，一部兴衰史，可是重门叠户，讳莫如深，夕阳影里，野草闲花，燕子低飞，寻觅旧家。只是一片澄明如水的气氛，净化一切，笼罩一切，使人忘忧。 巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人带来安全感；是城市喧嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。 爱逐臭争利,锱铢必较的，请到长街闹市去；爱轻嘴薄舌，争是论非的，请到茶馆酒楼去；爱锣鼓钲镗，管弦嗷嘈的，请到歌台剧院去；爱宁静淡泊，沉思默想的，深深的小巷在欢迎你！,Alley: A narrow passage behind or between buildings. Lane: A street, often a narrow one with buildings on both sides.,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,Charm: the power of pleasing or attracting people, a feature or quality that is pleasing or attraction. Serenity/leisure ? Serene: Calm and peaceful; tranquil 保持原句拟人的手法,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,The charm of the lane is her matchless serenity. 点评： charm ，matchless serenity三个词选得比较准确，符合语境含义。,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,Loiter: To stand or wait somewhere especially with no obvious reason Linger: To stay somewhere longer because you do not want to leave Whoever, loitering around in the lane for a while, will enjoy a mood as calm as the ancient well in the end of the lane. 点评：用词与句子内部的结构很好，只是整个语句是个悬垂句，丢失了主句。,Revision: Whoever loiters around in the lane for a while, he will enjoy a mood as calm as the age-old well in the end of the lane.,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,和平的静穆：peaceful quietude Quietude: The state of being still and quiet 阴森和肃杀：Eeriness and bleakness There you will experience a kind of peaceful quietude rather than eeriness and bleakness.,点评：逐句分析翻译很好，选词符合原文风格，但在行文中还应注意英语的语篇句际间的衔接。如上句开头的there可与其前面的lane产生衔接, 改用where： Whoever loiters around in the lane for a while, he will enjoy a mood as calm as the age-old well in the end of the lane，where you will experience a kind of peaceful quietude rather than eeriness and bleakness. 再次修订：Whoever loiters around in the lane for a while, he will enjoy a mood as calm as the age-old well in the end of the lane，where a kind of peaceful quietude rather than eeriness and bleakness pervades. (虚化人称主语结构),Or：Whoever loiters around in the lane for a while, he will enjoy a mood as calm as the age-old well in the end of the lane which is pervaded with a kind of peaceful quietude rather than eeriness and bleakness.,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,Bustle: Busy and noisy activity Reign: (Of an idea , a feeling or an atmosphere) to be the most obvious feature of a place or moment,小巷的动人处就是她无比的悠闲。无论谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀，它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。,There, quietude reigns over the outside bustle. Its a pure land in the kaleidoscopic world. 点评：从词义内涵、语境含义和景象对比角度看，后三个词选得不错，在行文句式和语法上还可修订： And there quietude reigns over the outside bustle，secluding itself from the kaleidoscopic world.,The charm of the lane is her matchless serenity. Whoever, loitering around in the lane for a while, will enjoy a mood as calm as the ancient well in the end of the lane. There you will experience a kind of peaceful quietude rather than eeriness and bleakness. There, quietude reigns over the outside bustle. Its a pure land in the kaleidoscopic world.,它可能是一条现代的乌衣巷，家家有自己的一本哀乐帐，一部兴衰史，可是重门叠户，讳莫如深，夕阳影里，野草闲花，燕子低飞，寻觅旧家。只是一片澄明如水的气氛，净化一切，笼罩一切，使人忘忧。 巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人带来安全感；是城市喧嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。,它可能是一条现代的乌衣巷，家家有自己的一本哀乐帐，一部兴衰史，可是重门叠户，讳莫如深，,It may be another WuYi Xiang (a special residential area of the nobility in Jin Dynasty) in modern times, with each familys stories of sorrows and happiness, rise and decline. However, the closed doors make them secret for the outside. 点评：注意语句的语法和结构的正确性。如：,它可能是一条现代的乌衣巷，家家有自己的一本哀乐帐，一部兴衰史，可是重门叠户，讳莫如深， It may be another WuYi Xiang (a special residential area of the nobility in Jin Dynasty) in modern times, with each familys stories of sorrows and happiness, rise and decline. However, the closed doors make them secret for the outside. 建议修改为：It may be another lane called WuYi Xiang (a poetically-described lane in the Jin Dynasty) in modern times, with each family covering up its stories, sorrowful or delightful, rising or declining. Behind the closed doors no secrets are known to the outside.,夕阳影里，野草闲花，燕子低飞，寻觅归家。只是一片澄明如水的气氛，净化一切，笼罩一切，使人忘忧。,家: nest 澄明如水: water-like atmosphere 净化: purify , purge, cleanse 笼罩: pervade, permeate , suffuse,夕阳影里，野草闲花，燕子低飞，寻觅归家。只是一片澄明如水的气氛，净化一切，笼罩一切，使人忘忧。,When the sun is setting, swallows fly low back to their nests over wild flowers and grasses. This all-purging, all-permeating and water-like atmosphere makes one forget all cares and worries. 点评：可突出概念意象，使其写生画般富有诗意。 In the evening glow, swallows fly over wild flowers and grasses，back to their nests; the scene may resentes to you a crystal-like atmosphere permeating every inch and cleansing all the wordly cares and worries.,巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人带来安全感；是城市喧嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。,人海汹汹: the sea of human 避风塘: haven 洞天幽境: a different serene world 阁道: plank road,巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人带来安全感；是城市喧嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。,The lane is a haven in the sea of human, giving people a sense of security. it is a different serene place in the noisy cities. Unlike the plank road for royal familys vehicles, it is for common people to wander about leisurely.,巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人带来安全感；是城市喧嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。 The lane is a haven in the sea of human, giving people a sense of security. it is a different serene place in the noisy cities. Unlike the plank road for royal familys vehicles, it is for common people to wander about leisurely. 建议修订： The lane seems to be a haven in the swelling sea of human beings, giving a sense of security. it is a secluded place in the noisy cities, offering a pleasant serenity. Unlike the plank road for royal familys vehicles, it is for common people to loiter about for leisure-enjoying.,爱逐臭争利,锱铢必较的，请到长街闹市去；爱轻嘴薄舌，争是论非的，请到茶馆酒楼去；爱锣鼓钲镗，管弦嗷嘈的，请到歌台剧院去；爱宁静淡泊，沉思默想的，深深的小巷在欢迎你！ 排比句： “爱，请到去。” “爱(的人)，请到去。” Those who do sth.，please go to somewhere.,爱逐臭争利,锱铢必较的，请到长街闹市去；,逐臭争利： chase wealth and fame 锱铢必较： haggle over every penny Those who chase wealth and fame, and haggle over every penny, please go to the downtown area.,爱轻嘴薄舌，争是论非的，请到茶馆酒楼去；,轻嘴薄舌:be garrulous and sharp-tongued 酒楼: restaurant/ public house？ Those who are garrulous and sharp-tongued disputing the rights and wrongs, please go to teahouse and restaurant.,爱锣鼓钲镗，管弦嗷嘈的，请到歌台剧院去；,钲镗: thunderous clamor 管弦嗷嘈: the din of musical instrument Those who like thunderous clamor of gong and drum as well as the din of musical instrument, please go to opera house and theater.,爱宁静淡泊，沉思默想的，深深的小巷在欢迎你！,淡泊： not seek fame and wealth 沉思默想: meditation about the life 深深的:不翻译 Those who are tired of seeking fame and wealth but prefer to serenity and meditation about the life, welcome to the lane!,Those who chase wealth and fame, and haggle over every penny, please go to the downtown area. Those who are garrulous and sharp-tongue