初中英语话题

初中英语单元话题&语法（鲁教版五四制）

6年级上

Goodmorning!

WhafsthisinEnglish?

Whatcolorisit?

Myname'sGina.

Thisismysister.

Isthisyourpencil?

Where?smyschoolbag?

Doyouhaveasoccerball?

Doyoulikebananas?

Howmucharethesesocks?

6年级下

Whenisyourbirthday?

Myfavoritesubjectisscience.

Canyouplaytheguitar?

Whattimedoyougotoschool?

Howdoyougettoschool?

Don'teatinclass.

Whydoyoulikepandas?

I'mwatchingTV.

It'sraining!

Isthereapostofficenearhere?

7年级上

Whatdoeshelooklike?

I'dlikesomenoodles.

Howwasyourschooltrip?

Whatdidyoudolastweekend?

Wheredidyougoonvacation?

Howoftendoyouexercise?

I'mmoreoutgoingthanmysister.

Whafsthebestmovietheater?

7年级下

Doyouwanttowatchagameshow?

I'mgoingtostudycomputerscience.

Willpeoplehaverobots?

Howdoyoumakeabananamilkshake?

Canyoucometomyparty?

Ifyougototheparty,you'llhaveagreattime!

Whafsthematter?

Filhelptocleanupthecityparks.

8年级上

Couldyoupleasecleanyourroom?

Whydon'tyoutalktoyourparents?

Whatwereyoudoingwhentherainstormcame?

Anoldmantriedtomovethemountains.

Whafsthehighestmountainintheworld?

HaveyoureadTreasureIslandyet?

Haveyoueverbeentoamuseum?

I'vehadthisbikeforthreeyears.

8年级下

Whenwasheborn?

Ifsaniceday,isn'tit?

Wherewouldyouliketovisit?

Howcanyoubecomegoodlearners?

Ithinkthatmooncakesaredelicious.

Couldyoupleasetellmewheretherestroomsare?

Iusedtobeafraidofthedark.

Whataretheshirtsmadeof?

9年级

Whenwasitinvented?

Teenagersshouldbeallowedtochoosetheirownclothes.

ItmustbelongtoCarla.

IlikemusicthatIcandanceto.

You'resupposedtoshakehands.

Sadmoviesmakemecry.

Lifeisfulloftheunexpected.

We'regoingtosavetheearth!

It'simportanttohavegoodhabits.

IremembermeetingallofyouinGrade6.

初中英语话题&语法课内外结合故事阅读参考素材

（人教新目标版/鲁教版适用）

山东省济宁学院附属中学孔庆民

Goodmorning!

[WhoisParshing?]

GeneralParshingwasagreatAmericanofficer.Afterhedied,somepeopleinhishometownput

upastatueofhimonthehorse.

Therewasaschoolnearthestatue,andsomeoftheboyspassedthestatueeveryday.Theboys

said,"'Goodmorning,Parshing^^whentheysawhim.

OneSaturday,oneoftheyoungestboyswasgoingtodosomeshoppingwithhisparents.When

hepassedthestatue,hesaidgoodmorningbuthestoppedandaskedhisparents,aaIlikeParshing

verymuch,butwhoisthatmanonhisback?”

[Toofat]

Amanmadeanicetalkmachine.Itcouldweighpeople'sweight.Themanwantedtotrythe

machinebeforehecouldmakealotofthem.Heputthemachineintothewaitingroomofastation.

Therewerealotofpeopleinandout.

ThefirstonewhousedthemachinewasanIndianwoman.Shestoodonthemachine.The

machinethoughtforafewsecondstodecidewhichlanguagetospeak."Goodmorning,madam,“

itsaidinIndian."Yourweightis72kilos.Thafsthreekilosmore.Ifyoueatmorefruitand

vegetables,you'llbesoonallright.Pleasehaveaniceday.”

ThesecondonetousethemachinewasaChinesegirl.Shestoodonthemachineandwaitedto

hearherweight."Goodmorning,Miss,“themachinesaidinChinese.Yourweightis45kilos.Ifs

allrightforyourageandheight.Goontoeatwhatyoueateveryday.Pleasehaveaniceday.”

ThethirdonetousethemachinewasaveryfatAmericanwoman.Shethoughtforalongtime

tostandonit.ThemachinespokeloudlyinEnglish,"Goodmorning!Willoneofyougetoff?”

WhafsthisinEnglish?

[Theduck'sfriend]

AnAmericantouristwashavinglunchinarestaurantinChinawhosespecialfoodwasduck.

Thewaiterexplainedeachdishashebroughtittothetable:"Thisisthebreastoftheduck.This

isthelegoftheduck.Thisisthewingoftheduck.”

ThencameadishthattheAmericanknewwaschicken.Hewaitedforthewaiter.

Silence.ttWell,^^hefinallyasked."What'sthis?”

"It'soneoftheduck'sfriends,9,saidthewaiter.

★breast（名）胸，胸脯；wing（名）翅膀

[Ican'tread.]

“Canyoureadandwrite?”thewomanaskedTommy.tcIcanwrite,“Tommyreplied,tabutIcan't

read.^^“Well,then,letmeseehowyouwriteyourname.^^

Tommywrotesomethingonapieceofpaperandhandedittothewoman.ctWhatisthis?”she

askedasshetriedtomakeoutthescribbling.

“Idon'tknow,^^Tommyanswered.a4ItoldyouIcouldn'tread.”

★scribble（动/名）胡写；乱写；潦草地写

Whatcolorisit?

[Shewillbebacktoexchangethem.]

Agentlemanwalkedintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves.

“Clothorleather?^^askedthesalesperson.""Makesnodifference,repliedthecustomer.

“Whatcolor?^^askedtheclerk.^tAny,^^heanswered.

“Whatsize?”"Givemewhateveryouprefer,thegentlemansaid."'Tomorrowmywifewillbe

backtoexchangethem.^^

[Iamnotdead!]

Mr.Greenwascleverthreeyearsago.Andfewmencouldtroublehim.Butonedayhewas

knockeddownbyacarandhisheadgotbadlyhurt.Andnowheoftenforgetssomethingand

thinksindifferentwaysfromours.

Onemorning,Mr.Greenwokeupearly.Heputonhiscoatandbegantowalkinthestreetwhile

peopleweresleeping.Hewantedtoreadnewspapersbutthepostofficewasclosed.Hehadtogo

backandgotobedagain.Assoonashetookoffhisclothes,thedoorwasknockedat.Hegotup

andopenedit.Twohunterscamein.Theylookedathimcarefullyandthensaid,“Wesawadead

manjustnow.Wethoughtitwasyou.^^

“Really?Where?^^Mr.Greensaidinsurprise.caIntheforest.^^

"It'simpossible!,9hesaid,“Ididn'tgothereatallthismoming.^^"Buthediedlastnight.”

“Ihaven'tbeentherefornearlyaweek.”"Buthelookslikeyou!^^

“Whatclothesdoeshewear,then?^^“Abluecoatlikeyoursandbrowntrousers.9,

“Andwhatcolorarehissocks?^^“Black.”

Mr.Greenbecamehappy.Heshowedhissockstothemandsaid,"Look!Minearewhite.9,

Myname'sGina.

[Einsteinandhisdaughter]

Onemorning,AlbertEinsteinwasridinginabustogotowork.Hewasthinkingaboutsome

mathproblemwhensuddenlythebusstoppedandhisglassesfelloff.Fortunatelytheywerenot

broken.Agirlsittingnexttohimimmediatelypickedthemupandhandedthemtothegreat

scientist.Einsteintooktheglassesandhewasverythankful.ucIfsverykindofyou,^^hesaidgently.

“What'syourname,please?”"CindyEinstein,Dad,"saidthegirl,smiling.

【Mr.WattandMr.Knott]

Mr.KnottworkedinabigschoolinLondon.Hishomewasfarfromtheschool.Sohewas

usuallyverytiredwhenhegothome.Oneeveninghewenttobedveryearly.Butafteralittle

while,thetelephonerang.Sohegotoutofhisbed,pickedupthetelephone.

“Hello.Who'sthatspeaking,please?”hesaid."Watt,“amananswered.

"What'syourname,please?”saidMr.Knott."Watt'smyname,^^wastheanswer.

“Yes,Iaskedyouthat.Whafsyourname?”Mr.Knottsaidagain."Itoldyou'Watt'smy

name,,^^saidtheotherman."AreyouJackSmith?^^"No,I'mKnott,answeredMr.Knott.

“Willyougivemeyourname,please?"saidMr.Watt."WillKnott/5answeredMr.Knott.

ThenbothMr.WattandMr.Knottputtheirphonedownangrilyandthought,“Thatisarude,

foolishman!^^

★arudeman粗人

Thisismysister.

[Heneedsglasses.]

Patient:Doctor,IthinkIneedglasses.

Teller:Youcertainlydo!Thisisabank.

【Where'sthehotel?]

PatHoganwastravelingaroundthecountryinthecar.Oneeveninghewasdrivingalongaroad

andlookingforasmallhotelwhenhesawanoldmanatthesideoftheroad.Hestoppedhiscar

andsaidtotheoldman,“IwanttogototheSunHotel.Doyouknowit?”

“Yes,"theoldmananswered.64rilshowyoutheway.”

HegotintoPafscar,andtheydroveforabouttwelvemiles.Whentheycametoasmallhouse,

theoldmansaid,"Stophere.”

Patstoppedandlookedatthehouse."Butthisisn'tahotel,hesaidtotheoldman.

“No,"theoldmananswered,“thisismyhouse.AndnowI'llshowyouthewaytotheSun

Hotel.Turnaroundandgobackninemiles.Thenyou511seetheSunHotelonthe

Isthisyourpencil?

[Whoseball?]

Astwoboyswereplayingingnearahouse,awomanleanedoutofthewindowandshowed

themaball.t4Isthisyours?”sheasked.

“Diditbreakanythinginyourhouse,madam?”saidoneoftheboys.

U6No,,,repliedthelady.

“Thenifsmine.^^

【We'dbetterfindagooddoctor!]

WhenMr.Scottwasa25-year-oldyoungman,hebegantoworkinthehospitalandhehasbeen

therefor32years.Nearlyallthepeopleinthetownknowtheoldman.Heisalwayskindtothe

youngpatientsandoftenplaysgameswiththem.Thechildrenarenotafraidofhimandtheythink

heisagooddoctor.

OneafternoonMrClarkewasverybusy.Alotofchildrenhadacoldandthereweremany

youngpatientsinthewaitingroom.Helookedthemoveroneafteranothercarefullyandhehadno

timetohavearest.

Finallyattwopastsixhefinishedhisworkandwasleavinghisoffice.Justthenawomanwitha

smallboyinherarmscameinhurriedly.Thedoctordidn'tknowherbuthestillsatdowntolook

overtheboycarefully.Itseemedthattheboycametothehospitalforthefirsttimeandlooked

quitenervous.Seeingthis,Mr.Scottpointedtotheboy'sear,andaskedhimwithasmile,"Isthis

yournose,mylittlefriend?^^

Theboyturnedtohismotheratonce,andalmostcriedandsaidloudly,i6Ithinkwe'dbetterfind

agooddoctor!^^

Where'smyschoolbag?

[Father9snose]

Tom:Mum,where'sredink?

Mum:Whatdoyouwantitfor?

Tom:I'mdrawingapictureofDaddy.Nowit'stimetodrawhisnose.

【Where'shisear?]

Billisalazyboy.Hedoesn'toftenusehisheadanddoesn'tlistentohisteacherinclass,sohe

can'tdohishomework.Histeachersdon'tlikehim.Theytellhisparentsaboutit,buttheydon't

knowwhattodo.

IfsSundaytoday.Billgetsupearlyinthemorning.Afterbreakfasthismothertellshimtodo

hishomework.Hegoestohisbedroom.Whenhismotherisbusywithsomehousework,theboy

goesoutwithaball.Shedoesn'tfindit.SupperisreadyandBillcomesback.Hisparentsare

angry,buttheysaynothing.Atninetheboywantstogotobed,hisfatheraskshim,“Doyoufinish

yourhomework?^^"No”,answerstheboy."Ican'tdoit.”

Hisfatherisangry.Hepullshimbytheearandsays,"'Whereisyourear?”

“Oh,dear!”Billcallsout."It'sinyourhand.”

【Where'sthecar?]

Onenighttherewasaheavysnowstorm,andinthemorningMr.Smith'sgardenwasfullof

deepsnow.Mr.Smithwantedtotakehiscarout,sohepaidamantocleanthepathfromhis

garagetohisgate.Hesaidtothisman,"Don'tthrowanysnowonthatsidebecauseitwillkillthe

bushesinmygarden.Don'tthrowanyontheothersidebecauseitwilldamagethewall.And

don'tthrowanysnowontothestreet,orthepoliceofficerwillbeangrywithyou.^^ThenMr.

Smithwentoutforbreakfast.

Afterbreakfast,hecameback.Thepathwasclean.Mr.Smithwasveryhappyandwantedto

givethemansomemoremoneyuntilheopenedthegaragetogethiscarout!Thegaragewas

filledwithsnowfromthepath.Hiscarwassomewhereunderthesnow.

★damage(动/名)损坏，损伤，毁坏；path(名)路，路径，小路，人行道

Doyouhaveasoccerball?

[Anaughtyrabbit]

(Arabbitwalksintoabookstore.)

Rabbit:Doyouhaveanycarrots?

Clerk:No.Thisisnotamarketbutabookstore,youknow.

(Therabbitleavesandthencomesinagain.)

Rabbit:Doyouhaveanycarrots?

Clerk:No!Fvealreadytoldyouthat.

(Therabbitleavesandthencomesinagain.)

Rabbit:Doyouhaveanycarrots?

Clerk:No!!Itoldyouamilliontimes!Ifyoucomebackinhere,I'llnailyourearstothewall.

(Therabbitleavesandthencomesinagain.)

Rabbit:Doyouhaveanynails?

Clerk:No!!!

Rabbit:Then,doyouhaveanycarrots?

★nail(名)钉；(动)敲钉，钉住

[Aperfectgentleman]

Amangotintoatrainandfoundhimselfsittingoppositetoawomanwhoseemedtobeabout

thirty-fiveyearsold.

Soontheybegantalkingtoeachother,andthemansaidtoher,“Doyouhaveafamily?^^

“Yes,Ihaveoneson,^^thewomananswered.

"Oh,really?”saidhe."Doeshesmoke?”

“No,henevertouchesanycigarettes,9,shereplied.

“That'sgood/hecontinued.CCIdon'tsmoke,either.Smokingisverybadforourhealth.And

doesyoursondrinkwine?^^

“Oh,no,“sheansweredatonce."Heneverdrinksadropofit.”

“ThenIcongratulateyou,madam,“hesaid."Anddoesheevercomehomelateatnight?^^

“No,never,9,sheanswered.C6Hegoestobedimmediatelyafterdinnereverynight.^^

“Well,“hesaid,"he'sawiseyoungman.Howoldishe?”

"He'ssixmonthsoldtoday.Buthe'llgrowuptobeagentleman,sherepliedproudlyand

happily.

★sitoppositeto坐在...的对面

Doyoulikebananas?

[Movingpictures]

Theoldnameforfilmswas"movingpictures”.InAmerica,theystillcallthem“movies”and

theysay:"Shallwegotothemovies?^^

OnedayTomaskedhisfriendJack,“Doyoulikemovingpictures?^^Jackthought,"He'sgoing

toinvitemetothecinema.^^Sohesaid,“Yes,please,Ilikemovingpicturesverymuch.^^

“Good,“saidthefirstboy."Myfatherhasapictureshop.Hesellspictures.ThiseveningIhave

tomovetwentyheavyboxesofpictures,soI'msureyouwillenjoymovingpicturesforme.^^

[Thesamething]

Mr.andMrs.Greenliveinacity,andonesummertheywenttothecountryfortheirholiday.

Theyenjoyeditverymuch,becauseitwasaquietandcleanplace.

Onedaytheywentforawalkearlyinthemorningandmetanoldman.Helivedonafarm,and

hewassittinginthewarmsuninfrontofhishouse.Mr.Greenaskedhim,“Doyoulikethisquiet

place?”"Yes,Ido."saidtheoldman.

Mr.Greensaid,“Whatarethegoodthingsaboutit?”Theoldmananswered,4tWell,thepeople

hereknoweachother.Theyoftencomeheretovisitme,andIoftengoandvisitthem.Andthere

arealsoalotofchildrenhere.^^

Mr.Greensaid,"That'sinteresting.Andwhatarethebadthings?”

Theoldmanthoughtforamoment,andsaid,“Well,thesamethingreally.

Howmucharethesesocks?

[Buyingahat]

Awomanwantstobuyahatwhichmatchesherdress.Shegoesintoahatshop.Oneafter

another,shepicksandchoosesmanyhats.Finally,sheissatisfiedwithoneofthem.Shesaysto

themanintheshop,""Excuseme,howmuchisthishat?”

“Oh,madam,“saysthemanintheshop,“butthisisjusttheoneyouhadonyourheadwhen

youcameintomyshop.^^

[Howmuchisit?]

Itwaswinter,andMrs.Hermannwantedtodosomeshopping.Soshewaiteduntilitwas

Saturday,whenherhusbandwasfree,andshetookhimtotheshopswithhertopayforeverything

andtocarryherparcels.

Theywenttoalotofshops,andMrs.Hermannboughtalotofthings.Sheoftenstoppedand

said,“Look,Joe!Isn'tthatbeautiful?^^Hethenanswered,4CA11right,dear,Howmuchisit?”and

tookhismoneyouttopayforit.

Itwasdarkwhentheycameoutofthelastshop,andMr.Hermannwastiredandthinkingabout

otherthings,likeanicedrinkbythesideofawarmfireathome.Suddenlyhiswifelookedupat

theskyandsaid,“Lookatthatbeautifulmoon,Joe!”

Withoutstopping,Mr.Hermannanswered,ctAllright,dear.Howmuchisit?”

Whenisyourbirthday?

[Theirbirthdays]

Tom:Whenisyourbirthday,Jim?

Jim:Oh,tomorrowismyfather'sbirthdayandthedayaftertomorrowismybirthday.

Tom:Really?Idon'tbelieveyourfatherisonlyonedayolderthanyou.

[Whenishecomingdown?]

Anofficercaughtaboyupatreeintheparkduringschooltime.

“Whenareyoucomingdown?^^hecalled.

“Whenyougoaway!”wastheanswer.

[Grandfather^inthenextroom.]

Johnlikedchocolatesverymuch,buthismothernevergavehimany,becausetheywerebadfor

histeeth,shethought.ButJohnhadaverynicegrandfather.Theoldmanlovedhisgrandsonvery

much,andsometimeshebroughtJohnchocolateswhenhecametovisithim.Thenhismotherlet

himeatthem,becauseshewantedtomaketheoldmanhappy.

Oneevening,afewdaysbeforeJohn5sseventhbirthday,hewassayinghisprayersinhis

bedroombeforehewenttobed."Please,God,"heshouted,“makethemgivemeabigboxof

chocolatesformybirthdayonSaturday.Hismotherwasinthekitchen,butsheheardthesmall

boyshoutingandwentintohisbedroomquickly."Whyareyoushouting,John?”sheaskedher

son."Godcanhearyouwhenyoutalkquietly.”"Iknow,^^answeredthecleverboywithasmile,

“butGrandfather^inthenextroom,andhecan't."

★sayone^prayers=giveprayers祈祷，祷告

Myfavoritesubjectisscience.

[GivingupTVshows]

RyanRubyistenyearsold.HelovestowatchTV.Butforonefullyear,hedidn'twatchTVat

all.Why?Ryan'smotherthoughthewatchedtoomuchTVShesaidshewouldgivehim$600if

hedidn'twatchTVforayear.

Atfirst,Ryan'smotherwasveryhappy.Ryanreadthenewspaper,playedoutside,played

computergames,andplayedcardswithhisbrother.Butafterawhile,hegotbored.Everyevening

heaskedhismother,ctWhafrewedoingtonight?^^Sometimeshismotherwishedhewouldwatch

TVjustforoneevening.Ryanalwayssaid,"No,itwouldcostmemoney!”

Finallytheyearwasover.Ryangotthemoneyfromhismother."IwanttobuymyselfaTV

set!”hesaid.ThenRyanboughtanewTVsetandstartedwatchinghisfavoriteTVshowsallday

longagain.

[Mumcanlayeggs.]

OfallthestudentsofGradeFour,Billisthetallest.He'sthirteen,andofcourse,he'stheoldest,

too.Buthe'stheworstandthemostfoolish.Hecan'tanswertheeasiestquestionsinclass.Andhe

neverpassestheexams.

Buttheboyisthestrongestinhisschool.Eventheboysinhighergradesareafraidofhim.So

everydayheleaveshomewithanemptybag,andwhenhegetstoschool,hisbagisfulloffruit

andcakes.Sometimeshebringssomehome.Hismother,Mrs.King,isalwayshappywhenshe

seesthem.Shepraisesherson,forshecansavesomemoney.

Thismorning,Mrs.Kingwentshoppinginthemarket.Shesawanoldmansellingeggsthere.

Shechosetwenty-fourbutpaidonlyfortwenty.Theoldmanwastoobusytocountthem.She

hurriedoffandtoldherhusbandassoonashecamebackforlunch.taHowcleveryouare!"Mr.

Kingsaidhappily.AndBillwasbusyeatingtheeggs,sohedidn'tsayaword.

“What'syourfavoritefood,dear?”askedMr.King."Eggs,ofcourse.^^

“Well,then,^^saidtheman."Canyoutelluswhatcanlayeggs?”Theboythoughtforawhile

andsaid,"Hens,ducks,geese...and...and

“Oh?Butwhy?”"Ioftenheartheycallme"BADEGG,.^^

★goose（名--geese）鹅；abadegg坏人，坏家伙，失败的计划｛agoodegg好人｝

Canyouplaytheguitar?

[Mydogcanjumphigh.]

Tom:Mydogcanjumptenfeet.

Bill:Thafsnothing—mydogcanjumpashighasourhouse.

Tom:Idon'tbelieveit.

Bill:Ifstrue.Mindyou,ourhousecan'tjumpatall.

[Hecannotsee.]

Tom:Mom,Icannotseetheblackboardatschool!

Mom:We'llseethedoctorthisafternoon.

（Inthehospital,thedoctorlookedoverTom'seyescarefully.）

Doctor:Tom,there9snothingwrongwithyoureyes.Whycan'tyouseetheblackboard?

Tom:Abigboysitsinfrontofme!

[Themonkeyandthecrocodile（台学鱼）]

Onedayalittlemonkeywasplayinginatalltreebytheriver.Amothercrocodilewithherbaby

wasswimmingslowlyintheriver.Shelookedaroundforsomefood.Suddenlyshesawthe

monkey."Aha,there9smymeal.HowniceitwouldbeifIhadthemonkeyformydinner.9,

Thensheturnedtoherson,“Myson,doyouloveme?”"Why,ofcourse,thebaby

crocodileanswered."'Well,then,canyouseethatmonkey?Iwanttoeathisheart.Canyougoand

getitforme?”"ButhowcanIcatchhim?^^thebabycrocodileasked."'Monkeyscan'tswim,andI

can'tclimbtrees.”"Youneedn'tclimbthetree,“hismothersaid."Useyourhead,thenyou'llfind

away.”"Allright,thebabycrocodileanswered.Hethoughthard,andthenhegotanidea.

Thebabycrocodileswamneartheriverbankandshouted.uHey,monkey,wouldyoulikesome

bananas?Therearemanybananatreesontheothersideoftheriver,andtheyhavelotsofbananas

onthem.”"Bananas?Hmm,Ilikethemverymuch,buthowcanIgetthere?”themonkeysaid.

“Oh,Filtakeyouthereonmyback.”"Really?Thankyouverymuch.^^Themonkeycamedown

andjumpedontothecrocodile'sbackhappily.

Soontheywereinthemiddleoftheriver.Suddenlythecrocodilewentdownunderthewater.

Whenhecameupagain,themonkeywaswetallover."Don'tdothatagainoryou'llkillme!”the

monkeycried."Ican'tswim,youknow.”"Iknow,butIhavetodothat,becausemymotherwants

toeatyourheart.

Thelittlemonkeywasclever.64Myheart?Whydidn'tyoutellmeearlier?Myheartisn'there

withme.Ileftitinthetreeoverthere.”"Thenwe'llhavetogobackforit.Motherdoesn'twant

youwithoutyourheart."Thecrocodileturnedandswambacktothebank.

Assoonastheyreachedthebank,themonkeyjumpedoffthecrocodileatonce,pickedupabig

stoneandclimbedupthetreeasquicklyaspossible.

Thecrocodilewaitedforthemonkeytocomeback.Hewaitedandwaited.Ashewaswaiting,

heheardavoicefromabove.taHey,Crocodile!,9

Thecrocodilelookedup.Themonkeywashangingfromthetreebyhistailandlaughing.

“Don'tyouwantmyheart?Well,here'smyheart.Comeupandgetit.Don'tkeepyourmother

waiting...Well,catch!”Withthesewords,themonkeythrewthebigstoneatthecrocodile.

Whattimedoyougotoschool?

[Earlyorlate?]

Billy:Whattimedoyougetupinsummer?

Jack:Idon'tgetupuntilthesunshinesinmywindow.

Billy:MyGod!Isn'tthatterriblyearly?

Jack:Oh,no,mywindowfacesthewest.

[Isthatclockright?]

Danwasthedoormanofaclubinabigcity.Everyday,thousandsofpeoplepassedhisdoor,

andalotofthemstoppedandaskedhim,"What'sthetime,please?”

Afterafewmonths,Dansaidtohimself,'Tmnotgoingtoanswerallthosestupidpeopleany

more.I'mgoingtobuyabigclockandputitonthewallhere.^^Thenhedidso.

“Nowpeoplearen'tgoingtostopandaskmethehethoughthappily.Butafterthat,alot

ofpeoplestopped,lookedattheclockandthenaskedDan,“Isthatclockright?^^

[Getinorgetout?]

Ashopownerclosedhisshopandwenthome.Hewasverytiredbutjustashewenttobedthe

telephonerang.Amanasked,4tWhattimedoyouopenyourshop?”

Theshopownerwasunhappyaboutthisphonecall.Heputdownthereceiverwithout

answeringandwentbacktobed.Afewminuteslaterthetelephonerangagainandthemanasked

thesamequestion.Theshopownerbecameveryangryandheshouted,atYouneedn'taskmewhen

IopentheshopforIwon'tletyouin…”

“Oh,no,Idon'twanttogetin,^^themansaid,“Iwanttogoout.”

Howdoyougettoschool?

[PlaywithGod]

Whenmysonwasfiveyearsold,hesurprisedmeonedaybysaying,a<Iguess141gooutdoors

andplayballwithGod.”"HowdoyouplayballwithGod?”Iasked."Oh,ifsnothardatall,^^he

explained.tcIjustthrowtheballupandGodthrowsitbacktome.^^

[Theeditor'sanswer]

Aladyoncewrotealongstory.Shesentittoafamouseditor.Afterafewweeks,theeditor

returnedthestorytoher.Theladywasangry.Shewrotebacktotheeditor:

“DearSir:Yesterdayyousentbackastoryofmine.Howdoyouknowthatthestoryisnotgood?

Youdidnotreadit.BeforeIsentyouthestory,Ipastedtogetherpages18,19and20.Thiswasa

testtoseewhetheryouwouldreadthestory.Whenthestorycamebackyesterday,thepageswere

stillpastedtogether.Isthisthewayyoureadallthestoriesthataresenttoyou?”

Theeditorwroteback:ctDearMadam:AtbreakfastwhenIhaveanegg,Idon'thavetoeatthe

wholeegginordertodiscoverthatitisbad.^^

★paste（名）浆糊，（动）用浆糊黏贴，把（纸等）贴在……上

Don'teatinclass.

[Anoldladyinataxi]

Theoldladywasgoingtotakeataxi.

“Driver,“shesaid."Iwantyoutotakemetothestation.""Yes,madam,“saidthedriver.

“Andyoumustdriveslowlyandcarefully.Don'tgountilthepolicemanlowershisarm.And,

please,don'trushroundthecomersastheroadisverywet.”

Thetaxi-driverwasgettingangry."Allright,madam,“hesaid.4"Butifwedohaveanaccident,

whathospitalwouldyouliketobetakento?”

[Ifsdangeroustodrinkmilk!!

Georgewassixtyyearsold,andhewasill.Healwaysfelttired.Hedidnotlikedoctors.Last

month,hiswifesaidtohim,"Don'tbestupid,George.GoandseeDoctorBrown.9,

“No,"saidGeorge.Lastweek,Georgefeltworse.Andhiswifemadehimgotothedoctor.

Dr.Brownexaminedhimcarefullyandsaidtohim,“Youdrinktoomuch.Stopdrinkingwhisky,

anddrinkmilkinstead."

Georgelikedwhisky,buthedidnotlikemilk,"I'mnotababy!^^Healwayssaidtohiswife.

NowhelookedatDr.Brownandsaid,“Butdrinkingmilkisdangerous,doctor.9,

Thedoctorlaughedandsaid,"'Dangerous?Howcandrinkingmilkbedangerous?^^

“Well,doctor,9,Georgesaid,"itkilledoneofmybestfriendslastyear.^^

Thedoctorlaughedagain,andthenheasked,“Howdidithappen?”

“ThecowfellonwasGeorge9sreply.

Whydoyoulikepandas?

[Everythingexcepttheclassroom]

Thefirstweekaftermysix-year-oldsoncamebackfromschool,Iaskedhimwhathelikedand

dislikedatschool.Hesaid,“Oh,Ilikethesportsground,theswimmingpool,thefootballfield,

thevideoroomandtheclub.Ihaveonlyonedislike—theclassroom.^^

[Hewantstobeadustman.]

Tomwastenyearsold,andhewasaverylazyboy.Hedidn'tlikedoinganywork.Hehadtogo

toschoolofcourse,buthedidn'tstudyhardthereandtriedtodoaslittleworkaspossible.

Hisfatherandmotherwerebothdoctorsandtheyhopedthattheirsonwouldbecomeone,too,

whenhegrewup.ButonedayTomsaidtohismother,“WhenIfinishschool,Iliketobea

dustman.”"Adustman?^^hismotherasked,shewasverysurprised.uThafsnotaverypleasantjob,

whydoyoulikethisjob?"

"BecausethenIwouldonlyhavetoworkonedayaweek,“Tomansweredatonce."Onlyone

dayaweek?”hismothersaid,"Whatdoyoumean?Andhowdoyouknow?”

“Well,“Tomreplied,U4IknowthatthedustmenwhocometoourhousetoworkonThursday,

becauseIonlyseethemonthatday.”

[Anickel（五分银币）oradime（一角银币）】

WilliamHarrison,theninthpresiden