2024年杭州市一模续写~~ 画画的转变 课件高三上学期英语一轮复习专项

杭一

续写~Fish一篇在考场上很容易让学生产生“文本情节不复杂，写作部分情节也清晰,但自己似乎难以让自己的文章脱颖而出”的续写一材多用一些在其他写作板块出现过的话题,在大作文中也会出现多层人物线变化这篇续写至少出现了2-3条人物线的变化:对画画不感兴趣的学生态度变化、女老师的态度变化、充满想象力学生的变化。23年1月那次四省联考续写开头的文本升华:“MyhusbandandIenjoyseeinglifethroughtheeyesofourchildren,It'samazingtowatchastheydiscovertheirworld.”TaskOneCharacters：Whereisthisstoryhappen？Whoisthemaincharacterandthesupports？What’sthereactionsofthem？What’stheproblemofthem？Attheendofthestory，iftheyattitudewouldchange？A.人物分析1.这篇续写出现的人物(名)很多，哪些是主角，各有什么样的性格?非主要人物，需要在写作中提到吗?2.在第一次的课堂中，学生对于Mary老师授课的内容，有什么样的反应?给她带来了什么反思?3.在文本部分中，Mary老师给自己提出了几个问题?如何在写作部分中逐一解答?4.文章最后主要人物对于“画画课”与“想象力”的看法是否会改变?B.事件盘点5.在文本中，Mary老师给孩子们布置的“新任务”具有什么样的特点?导向了写作部分的哪些情节?6.画的主题是什么?根据文本已有的人物性格，思考孩子们画画时候的状态以及可能画的内容。以及这个artwork的创作，是否真的norules吗?C.谋篇布局7.画的内容描述是否要出现?如果要出现，出现在第几段以及占文章比重应该是多少?8.结合前文和第一段分析，第二段的写作重点是偏描写还是偏体会?9.结合文本分析，这篇续写的主旨落脚点在哪里?以及，一定要升华吗?Marywastheartteacherforprimaryschoolstudents.Onthisparticularday,shewasguidingthemthroughtheprocessofdrawingasceniclandscape.Akilayawned(哈欠),clearlydisinterested-drawingwasn'therthing.AsmallgroupofstudentsgatheredaroundTina,laughingatherunusualdrawing:asunsportingsunglassesandtreestoppedwithicecreamcones.Para1语言要点1：“benotone's名词”的表达来形成短句，从而让冗长的续写有短促性暂停的效果例句，来自于24年浙江高考阅卷组最高分续写:Iapologizedformyimprudentactoftakingnocashwithme,Takingthingsforgrantedwasnotmystyle.Butthesimplybrusheditaside.1.notmytype:Thisrestauranthasgreatreviews,butthecuisineisnotmytypeoffood.2.notmycupoftea:Playingchessisnotmycupoftea;Iprefermoreactivegames.3.notmyscene:Theravepartywasnotmyscene,soIleftearly.4.notinmyc:Fixingcarsisnotinmywheelhouse,butIcandobasicmaintenance.5.notmybag:Horrormoviesarenotmybag,Igettooscared.6.notmyspeed:Fastcarsarenotmyspeed;Iprefersomethingmorereliableandsafe.7.notmyflavor:Spicyfoodisnotmyflavor,Iprefermilderdishes.8.notmygo-to:Sushiisnotmygo-towhenI'mfeelingsick,Iprefersoupandcrackers.9.notmydealbreaker:Notbeingabletocookisnotmydealbreaker,aslongastheycandootherchores.10.notmyvibe:Thewholehipstervibeisnotmyvibe,Ipreferamoreclassicstyle.11.notmydeal:Workingovertimeisnotmydeal,Ivaluework-lifebalance.语言要点2：“熟词生义”-sport&toptop在这里指代把(某物)放在…的上面，用法为topsth(withsth)fruitsaladtoppedwithcream上面浇了奶油的水果色拉sport的动词用法“携带、佩戴”，可以替换wearingasmile的“wear”ShewassportingaT-shirtwiththecompany'slogoonit.协同点1：guidingthemthroughtheprocessofdrawingasceniclandscape.Therealizationsuddenlystruckherthatguidingtheselovelychildrenincapturingapicturesquelandscapewas,infact,ajourneyoflearningtotenderlyobservetheworldthroughtheeyesoftheyoung.Itwasaprofoundjoytowitnessherowndiscoveryofthesekids’uniqueperspectives.协同点2：孩子的转变

从guiding到

自己的想象力Occasionally,teachingtheartwasn'tallaboutguidingchildrenonhowtocreateapainting;thetrueartofteachingwasinallowingthemthefreedomtoexplore,tolettheirbrushstrokesdancewiththewhispersoftheirimagination.协同点3：yawn&clearlydisinterested-drawingMoreandmorechildrenjumpedintothedreamworld.“Yawn-”TherewasAkila,yawninglikeshewasinanotheruniverse.协同点4：

AsmallgroupofstudentsgatheredaroundTina,laughingatherunusualdrawingOncemore,acrowdofchildrenclusteredaroundTina,butthistime.theirlaughterwasreplacedwithsheeradmirationastheymarveledatthecreativityofherbrushstrokesMaryinstructedTinafirmlybutwithunease,“DrawitthewayIshowedyou."Asthelessoncontinued,doubtcreptintoMary'smind.Hadthejoyofcreativitybeenovershadowedbythepressuretofitin?Shescannedtheroom,observingherstudents'faces-someconcentrated,othersuncertain.Akila'sdisinterestwasclear,andTina’simaginativedrawinghadbeenmetwithridiculeinsteadofpraise.Para2协同点5：doubtcreptintoMary'smind当续写中，主要人物产生“自我疑问”的时候，请大家一定要在写作部分中回应这些人物的疑问随着越来越多的孩子加入到Mary提议的project，她心情上的变化。Asthenumberof'studentsengaginginthe“'project"withtheirbrushesgrew,atideofprideandhappinesssilentlycreptintoMary'smind.例如--【23年新课标卷】Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevereshorse,Ikeptgoing.lworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling,Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar:IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.一个来自巴西的孩子在老师的鼓励下参加英语写作的故事。她在创作的过程中,有过迷茫，有与笔下的马共情。浙江阅卷组最高分范文的句子:TearsmingledwithbothpleasureandthankfulnessstreameddownasIfeltlikePaulRevere'shorseoncemoreIhadgottired!Ihadhaddoubts!Ihadwantedtoquit!ButImustkeepgoingandworkhard,becausemyfuturewasthere,waitingforme.Hadthejoyofcreativitybeenovershadowedbythepressuretofitin?Maryfoundthathermethodofteachingscenicpaintinghadindeedcastashadowoverthechildren'screativejoy,nearlydiminishingtheirimaginativeworld.协同点6：DrawitthewayIshowedyou.“Drawwhateveryourheartdesires,sweetheart.’协同点7：Shescannedtheroom,observingherstudents

faces-someconcentrated,othersuncertain,Again,shescannedtheroom,observingherstudents'faces.Thistime,allofthemconcentrated,pickingtheirbrushforthe“project”.协同点8：Tina’simaginativedrawinghadbeenmetwithridiculeinsteadofpraise.Thistime,forTina'swork,everyoneacknowledgedherwiththepraisethatwasoriginallyherdue.Afterclass,MarysatdownwithTina,hertonesoftening.“Whydidyoudrawthesunwithsunglassesandthetreeswithicecreams?"sheaskedgently.Tina'seyessparkledwithatouchofrebellion(叛逆).“Iloveicecream,andIthoughtthesunwouldlookcoolwithsunglasses.Whydowealwayshavetodrawlikeeveryoneelse?’Para3-4协同点9：Whydidyoudrawthesunwithsunglassesandthetreeswithicecreams?"协同她的变化，之前遇到反叛的学生，她会规训对方按照自己的要求做Insteadofinstructingtheboytosketchaccordingtoherowndesires,Marygentlyloweredherselfbesidethechildandinquiredwithasoftenedvoice,“Whatinspiredyoutocaptureyourdreamworldwithsuchauniquebrushstroke?协同点10：

Iloveicecream,andIthoughtthesunwouldlookcoolwithsunglasses.Whydowealwayshavetodrawlikeeveryoneelse?’写作部分回扣Tina对于画作的理解，写她的叛逆为她打开了一个创造艺术的世界。“Haveafondnessforsweetfood,includingicecreamandthelike.Consequently,I'dlovetoadornmydreamworldwithanabundanceofcandies.That'ssocool!”Marypaused,herthoughtsracing.Tina'sdrawingsweren’tjustcurious-theywereawindowintoaworldwhereimaginationruled,whererulescouldbebentintodelightfulchaos.Wasshe,byenforcingarigidstyle.killingthatverycreativity?Para5create1.creator:名词，创造者，指进行创造的人或事物Thecreatorofthisgameisknownforhisinnovativeideas.2.creation:名词，创造物，指被创造出来的东西Thecreationofthesculpturetookhimseveralmonths.3.creative:形容词，有创造力的，指具有创造能力或想象力的Sheisacreativeartistwithauniquestyle.4.creativity:名词，创造力、创造性，指创造新事物的能力或过程Creativityisessentialinsolvingcomplexproblems.5.Recreate:动词，重新创造，指再次创造或以新的形式创造Thechefre-createdthetraditionaldishwithamoderntwist.6.Procreate:动词，生育，指生物繁殖后代Manyanimalsprocreateinthespring.7.Co-create:动词，共同创造，指与他人合作创造。Thetwocompaniesco-createdanewproductline.协同点11：drawingsweren’tjustcurious-theywereawindowintoaworldwhereimaginationruled,whererulescouldbebentintodelightfulchaos.稀奇古怪的升华句:Throughtheircollaborativeefforts,theymeticulouslyconstructedaworldbrimmingwithimagination,wherethechildrenthemselvesshapedtherules.Undoubtedly,theunstructuredandinformalapproachmanagedtofosteranabundanceofcreativityamongtheseyoungsouls.ThankstoMary,theircreativityremainedunkilledintheend.Thenextmorning,Marywalkedintotheclassroomwitharenewedsenseofpurpose.Sheplacedalargesheetofpaperinfrontoftheclassandannouncedanewproject:theywouldcreateacollective(集体的)artworktitled“OurDreamWorld"withnorules.Theywerefreetousecolors,shapes,andpatternshowevertheywished.Para6Atfirst,thestudentshesitated,unsureofthisnewfoundfreedom.Akilaleanedback,skepticalofwhatseemedlikeanotherpointlessexercise,ButTina,hercreativitynolongerrestricted,eagerlygrabbedhercrayonsandbegantodrawwithabandon.Then,Mayajoinedin.AndthenMichael..Para7尽情地协同点12：pointlessTheirboundlessimaginationandcreativityhavedemonstratedthateveryeffortMaryinvestedinteachingthesechildrenwasindeedfullofpoints,atestamenttoherprivilegeofwitnessingaworldbrimmingwithdreams.Paragraph1:Asthestudentsworked,Maryobservedthemwithcuriosity.Paragraph1:Asthestudentsworked,Maryobservedthemwithcuriosity.Paragraph2:Marystoodbackandsurveyedthecreation，Paragraph1:Asthestudentsworked,Maryobservedthemwithcuriosity.点-面

结合先映入Mary老师眼帘的是谁第一段结尾写一些关于孩子们完成画作，让画作自然摆放在教室前面Mary怀揣好奇来观察孩子们先看到Tina的表现（

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）FirsttocaptureherattentionwasTina,agirlbrimmingwithrebellion,imagination,andcreativity,whosehandsdeftlydancingacrossthecanvas.Gracefully,shewasbringingtolifeherdreamworld,awhimsicallandscapewheretreesweretoppedwithice-creams.Sheconfessedherloveforice-cream,assertingthatheridealworldsimplywouldn'tbecompletewithoutit.先映入Mary老师眼帘的是谁第一段结尾写一些关于孩子们完成画作，让画作自然摆放在教室前面WithAkila'sfinalbrushstrokegracingtheexpansivepaper,theartworkwasbroughttofruition,nowrestingsilentlyinfrontoftheclassroom.Paragraph2:Marystoodbackandsurveyedthecreation.Shecouldn'tholdbackandburstoutlaughing!Thiswasanabsolutemasterpiece,farbeyondanythingshecouldhaveeverimagined!概括一些孩子们创作的“dreamworld”对事件的总结+主旨升华Mary老师如何和孩子们分享自己对于大家创作的看法，也可以写孩子们邀请Mary老师加入到这幅画作的“最后一笔”来。主旨升华的落脚点在“creativity”和“norules”上Suddenly,Akilahraisedherhand,“TeacherMary,youhaven'tjoinedourdreamlandyet!"Thekidsallrushedoverandpassedtheircrayons.Marypickedone.Withatwinkleinhereye,shebeganto

paint.“Mydreamworld,”shesaid,“needsmanymanytreestoppedwithice-creamcones!”Paragraph2Mary站在后面端详孩子们的画作Mary老师和孩子们分享自己对于大家创作的看法/孩子们邀请Mary老师加入到这幅画作的“最后一笔’对画作赞不绝口（

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）尝试结合确定好的两个位置，思考括号部分可以可以串联情节Paragraph1:Asthestudentsworked,Maryobservedthemwithcuriosity.ShenoticedhowAkila,initiallydisinterested,hadquietlychosenvibrantcolorsandwasnowblendingthemtogethertocreateaswirlingskyfilledwithfantasticalcreaturesthatflewoverastonecastle.Meanwhile,Tinawasenthusiasticallyaddingplayfuldetailstohersectionofthepaper-awhimsicalgardenwhereflowersworehatsandcreaturesrestedontheicecream-toppedtrees.Maryfeltawaveofreliefwashoverher.Theroomwasalivewithchatterandlaughter,asAkilaandTinafrequentlyexchangedideasandinspiredoneanother.AkilaevenleanedovertoadmireTina'sicecreamtreesandsaid,"Thatismind-blowing!"Itwaswonderfultoseethemcooperate,theirinitialdifferencesmeltingawayinthewarmthofsharedcreativity.Paragraph2:Marystoodbackandsurveyedthecreation,Theenormouscanvashadtransformedintoamagnificentportrayalofeachstudent'simagination,formingabreathtakinglandscapethatreflectedtheirindividualityyetspoketotheircollectivespirit.Maryfeltasenseofprideswellwithinher,sherealizedthatinlettinggoofrigidstructures,herstudentsgavetheirpaintinganunrealisticbutdream-likequality,Akila,Tina,andtherestoftheclasshadnotonlyembracedtheirowncreativepathsbuthadalsonurturedeachother'sideas.Theywerethrilled,"Itwasthebestpaintingever!Weshoulddefinitelyhangitonthewall!"Inspiredbythemoment,Marydecidedtohostanexhibitionoftheirdreamworld,invitingparentsandotherclassestoadmirethebeautyofimaginationunleashedinherclassroom.ParagraphI:Asthestudentsworked,Maryobservedthemwithcuriosity.Tina,thesuperartist,wassoengrossedthatshedidn'tevennoticethechaosoutsideher“ice-creamcastle”.Mayasprawledoutonthefloorlikealittleexploreri