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———我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(Ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage)我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(Ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage)
“ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage,”mented.
hey,idon'tmind.really.infact,ilovemyage,becauseeverysinglebirthdaymeansmorethanjustpresentsandchocolatecake.thedayiheardtheword“cancer”spokenbymydoctor,mylifeturnedupsidedown.
“ihaveatestonmonday,”isaidfoolishly,thinkingthatthedoctorwouldpostponesurgerysoicouldace1myhumanitiestest.whatididn'trealizeisthatiwaspreparingforthebiggesttestofmylife.
withinhoursidiscoveredthatididhavecancer.ithadspreadtomylymphnodes2.ilearnedat32yearsofagetofacemortality3.everytimethedoctorsenteredmyroom,theywalkedinwithbadnewsandonemorespecialist.onewhitecoatmeantcancer.twowhitecoatsmeantchemo4.threemeantradiation.fourmeantdetectionofanotherpossibletumor5.
atonepointfivedoctorsstoodaroundmybed.itseemedfittingbecausethestatisticsdroppedtoa10%chanceofsurvivingfiveyears.onedoctorforeachyearimightlive.
therewereamultitudeof6reasonstostickaround7ahusbandof12yearsthatilovedawholelotandthreebeautifulchildrenthatwerecluelesstotheplight8oftheirmomanddad,butwhogavemedailystrengthintheirinnocentloveandhandmadegiftsthathungonthehospitalwall.
tothisday,istillhaveacrayonpictureofmerestinginbed,withalargeheadandlargerlips,withathermometer1stickingoutofmymouth.thewords,“home”wasmymantra2.
i'mthankfulforcancerinmanyways.doesthatsoundcrazy?iwouldn'twishitonanybodyandidon'twanttogothroughitagain,butitwasateacher.ithelpedmetotreasureeverysingleday.itforcedmetoprioritize3mylife.thingsthatwereonceimportantseemedfoolish.itpushedmeofftherollingwheelthissocietycallssacredandletmepursuethedesiresofmyheart,insteadofmywallet.itgavemetheabilitytoseelifeasfragile,mised.itallowedmetotreasuremythreebeautifulchildren,whosometimesbroughtheartachealongwithjoyastheygrewup,whoareallnowincollegeandcannowspellbeautifully.
whenihitmy5thyearofsurvival,ileftmyjobtowritefulltime.idecidednottowriteonemorewordaboutanythingthatdidn'tmattertome.itwasastepoffaith,mised“oneday”or“someday.”onmy40thbirthday,irodegocarts4with30ofmyclosestfriendstocelebrate.thenumbers40hangingacrossthewallwereabeautifulsight.
icelebratedmy10thyearofsurvivalonaboatintheamazonintherainforestofbrazil.isatonthetoplevelandwatchedthesunriseandfromsomewheresodeepinside,ithankedgodfortheopportunitytoexperiencelifethroughfacingdeath.
yousee,lifehasbecomeaseriesofcelebrations.lastmonth,icelebratedmy13thyearofsurvivalandembracedmy44thbirthday.nextmonth,richardandiwillcelebrateour24thanniversary.leslie,myoldest,turned21lastyear.mytwinsare20.allyoungadultsnow,allrunningaftertheirowndreams,becausemybout1withcancertaughtthemtoo.ilookatmyfriendandanswerherquestion.doimindtellingmyage?absolutelynot.i'llshoutitfromtherooftops2.i'm44!i'mthankfulforall10grayhairs.
whenilookinthemirrorandnoticethesmalllinesappearingaroundmymouthandeyes,idon'tcallthemwrinkles.ical
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