我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(I　can't　believe　you　tell　people　your　age)

———我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(Ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage)我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(Ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage)

“ican'tbelieveyoutellpeopleyourage,”mented.

hey,idon'tmind.really.infact,ilovemyage,becauseeverysinglebirthdaymeansmorethanjustpresentsandchocolatecake.thedayiheardtheword“cancer”spokenbymydoctor,mylifeturnedupsidedown.

“ihaveatestonmonday,”isaidfoolishly,thinkingthatthedoctorwouldpostponesurgerysoicouldace1myhumanitiestest.whatididn'trealizeisthatiwaspreparingforthebiggesttestofmylife.

withinhoursidiscoveredthatididhavecancer.ithadspreadtomylymphnodes2.ilearnedat32yearsofagetofacemortality3.everytimethedoctorsenteredmyroom,theywalkedinwithbadnewsandonemorespecialist.onewhitecoatmeantcancer.twowhitecoatsmeantchemo4.threemeantradiation.fourmeantdetectionofanotherpossibletumor5.

atonepointfivedoctorsstoodaroundmybed.itseemedfittingbecausethestatisticsdroppedtoa10%chanceofsurvivingfiveyears.onedoctorforeachyearimightlive.

therewereamultitudeof6reasonstostickaround7ahusbandof12yearsthatilovedawholelotandthreebeautifulchildrenthatwerecluelesstotheplight8oftheirmomanddad,butwhogavemedailystrengthintheirinnocentloveandhandmadegiftsthathungonthehospitalwall.

tothisday,istillhaveacrayonpictureofmerestinginbed,withalargeheadandlargerlips,withathermometer1stickingoutofmymouth.thewords,“home”wasmymantra2.

i'mthankfulforcancerinmanyways.doesthatsoundcrazy?iwouldn'twishitonanybodyandidon'twanttogothroughitagain,butitwasateacher.ithelpedmetotreasureeverysingleday.itforcedmetoprioritize3mylife.thingsthatwereonceimportantseemedfoolish.itpushedmeofftherollingwheelthissocietycallssacredandletmepursuethedesiresofmyheart,insteadofmywallet.itgavemetheabilitytoseelifeasfragile,mised.itallowedmetotreasuremythreebeautifulchildren,whosometimesbroughtheartachealongwithjoyastheygrewup,whoareallnowincollegeandcannowspellbeautifully.

whenihitmy5thyearofsurvival,ileftmyjobtowritefulltime.idecidednottowriteonemorewordaboutanythingthatdidn'tmattertome.itwasastepoffaith,mised“oneday”or“someday.”onmy40thbirthday,irodegocarts4with30ofmyclosestfriendstocelebrate.thenumbers40hangingacrossthewallwereabeautifulsight.

icelebratedmy10thyearofsurvivalonaboatintheamazonintherainforestofbrazil.isatonthetoplevelandwatchedthesunriseandfromsomewheresodeepinside,ithankedgodfortheopportunitytoexperiencelifethroughfacingdeath.

yousee,lifehasbecomeaseriesofcelebrations.lastmonth,icelebratedmy13thyearofsurvivalandembracedmy44thbirthday.nextmonth,richardandiwillcelebrateour24thanniversary.leslie,myoldest,turned21lastyear.mytwinsare20.allyoungadultsnow,allrunningaftertheirowndreams,becausemybout1withcancertaughtthemtoo.ilookatmyfriendandanswerherquestion.doimindtellingmyage?absolutelynot.i'llshoutitfromtherooftops2.i'm44!i'mthankfulforall10grayhairs.

whenilookinthemirrorandnoticethesmalllinesappearingaroundmymouthandeyes,idon'tcallthemwrinkles.ical