备考2024届高考英语一轮复习第二部分读后续写专题二热考话题素材5温馨家庭

热考话题5温馨家庭[2021新高考Ⅰ]AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next，Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime，sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute，theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully，Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear！Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared.Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.人物主要人物：thetwins（JennaandJeff）；次要人物：theirmotherandfather。根据原文中的描述"theythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay"和"theybroughtherbreakfastinbed"可以看出，双胞胎孝顺、懂得感恩。场景故事发生在母亲节当天早上，双胞胎为母亲做早餐，故原文故事情节的地点在家里的厨房。情节及情感线双胞胎筹划在母亲节那天给母亲做早餐、制造惊喜（感到很兴奋）→准备早餐时，刚开始一切进展顺利（感到很自信）→面包糊了，粥溢出来了，Jeff烫伤了（惊慌失措）→续写第一段提示语，双胞胎慌乱失望时，父亲出现了（担心父亲责备）→续写第二段提示语，早餐做好，给母亲惊喜（满怀期待和兴奋）主题双胞胎要在母亲节早上为母亲做一顿早餐，"thesurprise"体现了他们的意图，"HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbe"是他们希望看到的结果。再根据续写提示语可知，双胞胎在父亲的帮助下完成了惊喜早餐，因此文章最终应展现子女感恩父母，父母为子女感到骄傲和自豪，一家人其乐融融的温馨画面。续写第一段本段主要描述"救星"父亲出场后的场景。根据首句提示语可知，接下来应该描述：父亲看到杂乱的厨房会有什么反应，会说什么或做什么。尾句衔接续写第二段提示语：在父亲的帮助下，双胞胎做好了早餐。因此中间应描写父亲了解原因、帮助双胞胎整理厨房和准备早餐等，侧重人物间的互动，强调动作、心理、表情描写。续写第二段本段的故事场景在母亲的卧室，主要故事情节：双胞胎把母亲叫醒后，母亲对双胞胎准备的惊喜的反应和感受。本段应侧重人物动作、语言、心理描写。结尾部分要营造出一家人其乐融融，母慈子孝的画面。1.Helookedatthem，confused.①用具体的神态描写替换笼统词confused，体现父亲的困惑。Helookedatthemwithapuzzledfrownonhisface.②为句①补充困惑的原因，并运用现在分词短语作状语，与上文形成较好的连贯。Seeingthemessinthekitchen，helookedatthemwithapuzzledfrownonhisface.2.Hecomfortedthemandinstructedthemhowtocook.①使用具体的肢体动作替换笼统词comfort。Hepattedtheirshouldersandinstructedthemhowtocook.②运用副词体现父亲的包容和教他们做饭时的耐心。Hepattedtheirshouldersandinstructedthemhowtocookkindlyandpatiently.③运用现在分词短语作状语改写句②，使句子结构更加错落有致，表达更亮眼。Hepattedtheirshoulders，instructingthemhowtocookkindlyandpatiently.3.Shefeltmoved.①利用具体的情感描写替代moved，让表达更加生动，使母亲的感动之情跃然纸上。Shefeltawarmwaveofhappinesswellingupinherheart.②为句①增加具体的动作描写，更进一步凸显母亲的感动。Shefeltawarmwaveofhappinesswellingupinherheart，andalmostshedtears.③使用独立主格结构改写优化句②前半句。Awarmwaveofhappinesswellingupinherheart，shealmostshedtears.Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared.Seeingthemessinthekitchen，helookedatthemwithapuzzledfrownonhisface（满脸困惑，双眉紧锁）.Theyhurriedlyexplainedwhathadhappened，waitingforhisblame.Totheirsurprise，theirfatherjustlaughedandpattedtheirshoulders，instructingthemhowtocookkindlyandpatiently.Everythinggoingsmoothly，soonadeliciousbreakfastwasready.Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.Thetwinshuggedherandyelled"HappyMother’sDay，dearMummy！"Atthesightof（一看见……）thebreakfastonthetable，awarmwaveofhappinesswellingupinherheart（一股幸福的暖流涌上心头），themotheralmostshedtears.Shehuggedthetwinstightly，choking，"Itisreallyasurprisetome.Iamsoproudof（为……感到骄傲）you."Theyaskedhe