读后续写：如何动作描写-2025届高三英语复习写作专项

两招拆解动作描写：动作链+动作面动词是英语遣词造句、体现语言描述功能的主角，很多句子都包含动作的描写。要想把动作写的生动有画面感，主要有两种思路：构造“动作链”和“动作面”。“动作链”在描写动作时，要学会细化动作，把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作（2-3个动作）形成动作链，写出动作的连贯性，使描写具有画面感，使人物更立体。按照时间轴，把动作拆解成连贯的动作链(描述-系列动作）比如:

1上车gotintothecar——按照时间轴拆分成拦车、上车、告诉司机目的地3个步骤Shehailedataxi,gotintoitandtoldthedriverherdestination.通过and连接3个谓语动词2抱住儿子冲向前，蹲下来，一把抱住Shedashedforward,kneltdownandgatheredhersonintoherarms.3上台发言一看了一眼奖杯，深吸一口气，说到:“感谢吞吞”Sheglancedatthetrophy,tookadeepbreathandsaid,“ThankTunTun!”4扔肉把狼引开threwthemeat拿出肉、瞄准狼、扔出去Hepulledoutthemeat,aimedatthewolfandthrewitstraighttothefierceanimal.5给钱=打开钱包+取出钱+递给可怜人Mymomopenedthepurse,tookoutfivedollarsandhandedittothepoorman.“and”连接多个并列谓语动词1.

She

walked

tothecashregister

andpaid

themoney.2.

I

rushed

home,

searched

throughmycollectionofhats,

andgrabbed

thecottonone.3.

He

stopped

thetaxi,

jumped

inwiththesuitcase

andtold

thedriver,“Gotothepolicestation,please.”4.

Theboys

rushed

excitedlytothelake,

tookoff

theirclothes

andjumped

intothewater.5.

She

dashed

forward,

knelt

down

andgathered

hersoninto

herarms.6.

Thesinger

glanced

attheaudience,

took

adeepbreath

and

began

tosing.7.

We

crossed

bigriversandvastplains,

climbed

highmountains,

andoverlooked

deepvalleys.8.

He

reached

deepintohispocket，pulled

outahandful

ofchange，andheld

ituptothefarmer.9.

He

puton

hiscoat,

stormed

outand

slammed

thedoorshut.10.

Lorna

came

tothewindow,

opened

itand

looked

outupatthenightsky.非谓语动词表达多个动作1.

Walking

tothedoorway,

Jenny

took

adeepbreath.2.

Holding

thenecklaceinherhand,Jenny

lifted

herlip,

tearsbeginningtoblurhervision.3.

Hearing

this,hermother

smiled,pattingherbackgently.4.

He

dove

intothewater,

kicking

hislegs

andstretching

his

armsasfarashecould.5.

Seeing

thecoatinthebag,he

looked

veryastonished

and

then

called

hismothertogoout.6.

Feeling

strongernow.Jane

walked

alongthestream,

hoping

thatitwouldleadhertothelake.7.

Standing

besidetheemptyroad,they

looked

upintothesky,

feeling

thepreciouspeacefrom

within.8.

Throwing

theovercoatacrossherarm,she

crossed

thehallquietly.9.

Rushing

towardsthedoor,she

opened

it,

saying,

“Here,EdmondhereIam”.10.

Hismother,

standing

atthedoor,

cried

tearsofjoy.11.

Putting

thebookwhereitbelonged,theboy

tiptoed

outoftheroomaslightlyaspossible.12.

Jane

gottoherfeet

shakily,

approached

herhusbandand

threw

herselfintohisarms,

sobbing

uncontrollablyonhisshoulders.动作面动作链是一个人的动作的依次连贯。但是若是想要描述具有画面感，还可以通过构造“动作面”来让语言更丰富。比如我们可以从肢体、面部、语言和心理等多个维度来刻画场景。比如：他面带杀气，振臂一挥，大喊：“放箭！”。该句分别从面部表情、肢体动作和语言的角度进行刻画，从而把整个场景编制成一个饱满的动作面。例句1、Standing

besidetheemptyroad,theylookedupintothesky,

feeling

thepreciouspeacefromwithin.他们站在空旷的路边，仰望着天空，感受着这份珍贵的平静。2、Hewasoverwhelmedwithjoy,

singinganddancing

intherain.他欣喜若狂，在雨中又唱又跳。3、Theywerehavingawonderfultime,

talking,eatingandjoking.他们享受着美好的时光，聊着天，吃着东西，开着玩笑。运用晨读表格中的动作链技巧，把下面的语篇补充完整。

Inthemorning,as

scheduled,

1.

.

（双胞胎早早起床，踞着脚走进厨房，从袋子里舀出面粉）Oncetheysetaboutmakingbread，theyfeltconfused.Atthattime，2.

，（他们的爸爸溜进厨房，轻拍双胞胎的肩膀，柔声安慰道）“Don’tquit.Youcan

overcomethechallenge.”

Thetwinsmadethebreadsmoothly.Then，3.

.

（他们端着早餐，向楼上走去，喊醒他们的妈妈）.Withhereyes

glittering

withexcitement,themotherwassocontentthat

shegatheredherchildrenintoherarms.

KEYS:Inthemorning,as

scheduled,

thetwinsgotupearly,tiptoedtothekitchenandscoopedsomeflourout

ofthebag.

Oncetheysetaboutmakingbread，theyfeltconfused.

Atthattime，theirfatherslidintothe

kitchen，patting

thetwins’

shouldersandcomforting

theminasoftvoice，“Don’tquit.Youcan

overcomethechallenge.”

Thetwinsmadethebreadsmoothly.Then

they

carriedthebreakfast，advanced

upstairsandwokeup

theirmother.

Withhereyes

glittering

withexcitement,themotherwassocontentthat

shegatheredherchildrenintoherarms.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,

使之构成一个完整的故事。A

GIFTFORGRANDPAThesummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents’homeeagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwiththeirgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandpawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedacrosshisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandthathemaybecouldn’tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔强地),“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.MumandGrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest..Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiersGrandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs…HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!ButnowGrandpacouldn’tgetup.Thismadethemworried.“Weneedtothinkoutawaytocheerhimup,”Jacksaid.“Grandpaisabirdlover,sowecancatchhimabird,”Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!”Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack’smind.“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”注意：1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；Paragraph1:Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.Paragraph2:JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.

【语篇分析】1.

what（前文主旨）Jack和弟弟Berlin暑假期间去看望他们的爷爷奶奶。到那里后他们得知，爷爷因生病已经无法起身。他的健康每况愈下，可能永远站不起来了。但爷爷坚信自己能站起来。Jack和Berlin决定送爷爷一份礼物让他开心。Jack想抓一只鸟给爷爷，可是担心爷爷不喜欢鸟儿被关在笼中。他又想到可以用树棍给爷爷做一个拐杖。2.

why（故事主题）关爱家人，直面挑战，永不言弃。3.

how（写作技巧）第三人称、记叙、描写4.

具体内容（利用拉波夫叙事模式进行分析）点题:这篇文章自身有一个标题，读者通过标题可以很清晰地获取全文的主题Agiftforgrandpa。通过阅读第一段可知，本章讲述的是Jack和Berlin两兄弟为爷爷准备礼物的经过和结果。指向:本篇文章的指向就在前三段，时间是暑假的一天，地点就是在爷爷奶奶家,alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimney，主要人物Jack和Berlin两兄弟以及爷爷，次要人物是父母和奶奶。进展:本文的进展是Jack和弟弟Berlin在得知爷爷因病无法站立后，想办法制作一个礼物给爷爷，让爷爷开心，鼓励爷爷乐观地面对疾病和生活。结果/结局:结局部分是需要学生续写的，通过文章的最后一句“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”，再根据续写第一段的首句“Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.”可知，两兄弟就这一提议达成一致，开始为爷爷制作拐杖。他们做了什么？他们选择了怎样的树？如何制作的，做好了吗？根据续写第二段的首句“Jack

andBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa”可确定第二段的写作思路——爷爷得到拐杖后想到了什么？爷爷能否用拐杖站起来？大家的感觉怎样？评议:评议贯穿了材料全文。前四段中作者陆续用到excitement,eagerly,fun,joyfully,sweptto,shoutingexcitedly这些词语来表现出两兄弟对于爷爷的喜爱和依恋的情感。第四段中wildwithjoy也表现出了爷爷对两兄弟感情的回应。同时，面对自己的疾病，作者用了stubbornly,stuckinhisboyishway来展现爷爷不服输的劲头，也顺理成章地为两兄弟制作拐杖帮助爷爷站起来埋下了伏笔。5.

语言人物角色1：Jack性格：热情，开朗，聪明，细心行为：拥抱奶奶、冲进客厅、大声呼唤爷爷，拒绝抓鸟，提议制作拐杖心理：excited→

eagerly→

bored→

merry角色2：Berlin性格：热情，开朗，乐于助人行为：拥抱奶奶、冲进客厅、大声呼唤爷爷、建议抓鸟心理：excited→

eagerly→

bored→

merry角色3：Grandpa性格：坚强，倔强行为：努力站起来心理：helpless→

stubborn场景:爷爷家与爷爷奶奶见面；小树林里制作拐杖语言风格:语言风格平实6.

情节冲突：爷爷见到孙子很开心想要站起来迎接，却因病无法站立。行动：两兄弟开始制作拐杖（续写第一段）解决：两兄弟将做好的拐杖送给爷爷，爷爷成功地站起来。（续写第二段）伏笔：第六段提到爷爷曾是一名优秀的森林探险家，为后文两兄弟想到用树枝制作拐杖埋下伏笔。【素材积累】Para4Sweeptothelivingroom冲进客厅Para5Invain徒劳无功Hewasstuckinhisboyishway.他有点孩子气了。（他像个孩子一样执拗起来。）Para6HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!

他们和爷爷在森林王国里度过了多少美好的时光啊！【参考范文】Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.

When

thetwobrothersreachedanagreement,theyquicklyranbacktotheirgrandparents’house,gotthetoolstheyneededtomakethecane,andranbacktothewoods.Jacksaid,“Whatkindoftreeshouldwepickforthewalkingstick?”Berlinthoughtforamomentandsaid,“Ithinkweshouldchooseastraighttree,