读后续写+陪读小猫 讲义 高三英语一轮复习3

写作范文文本分析2023年浙江省9+1联盟高三上学期期中考读后续写+陪读小猫讲义-2024届高三英语一轮复习阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。“ThisSaturday,we’llbevisitingcatsattheanimalshelter.Ifyou’dliketojoinus,here’sanapplicationform”,saidMs.Delgado,theschoollibrarianwhohadheldthereadingengagementeventforstudents.“Benlovedcatsandhehadalwayswantedone,sohehurriedtotakeanapplicationform.ThenMs.Delgadoadded,“We’llbereadingtothecatsandawardreaderswhomakemostprogress.”Benstopped.Readingaloudcanbe

achallengingtask.Benmight

feelhisheartracing,

hispalmssweating,and

hisvoiceshaking

asheread.Hemight

stumbleoverwordsorlosehisplaceinthetext.Hemight

feellikeeveryonewaswatchinghimandjudginghim.Still,hereallywantedtovisitthecats,sohetookanapplicationformanyway.OnSaturday,Benarrivedattheshelterwithsomeofhisclassmates.“ThisisMax,”theshelterworkertoldBenasshehandedhimagraycat.BencarriedMaxtoabeanbagchairandsatdown.Maxsettledontohislap.Hetookabookhe'dbeenworkingonandstartedreading.Max,verydifferentfromothercatswalkingaroundtheroomwhilethekidsread,purred(发出呼噜声)onhislapasifhehadunderstoodwhatBenread.“I’mgladMaxisstayingandlisteningtomyreadingandheisthebestcatever,”BentoldDadexcitedly.“I'mgladyoutwoarefriends,”Dadsaid.Allweek,Ben'sheart

wasfilledwithanxiety

ashewaitedforSaturdaytoarrive.HewaseagertoreadtoMaxandtheanticipationofspendingtimewithhisfeline(猫咪的)friendmadehimrestlessandnervous.Whenitarrived,BengottoreadtoMaxagain.“WhatifsomeoneadoptsMax?”BenaskedDadlater.“Iguessyou'dreadtoadifferentcat,”Dadsaid.“ButIdon'twantadifferentcat.IwishwecouldadoptMax,”BensaidtoDad.Heknewtheycouldn'tbecauseMomhadallergies(过敏).Benlovedthecatsomuchthatheeventoldhisnext-doorneighbor,Mrs.Patel,aboutMax.“Maxsoundslikeaspecialcat,”saidMrs.Patel.要求：1.续写词数为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Para1:

Weekbyweek,BenrealizedthatreadingseemedeasierwithMax'scompany.Para2:ButonSaturday,Bencouldn'tfindMaxattheshelter.官方范文，

Weekbyweek,BenrealizedthatreadingseemedeasierwithMax’scompany.

Thepresenceofthegraycatmadehimfeelmorerelaxedandcomfortable.HenoticedthatMax'spurringhadacalmingeffectonhim,allowinghimtofocusbetteronthewordsinfrontofhim.BenwasamazedbyhowmuchheenjoyedreadingaloudtoMax.Still,hewassurprisedwhenMs.DelgadogavehimtheMostImprovedReaderaward.Benfeltasenseofprideandaccomplishmentasheheldthecertificateinhishands.Hecouldn'twaittoshowittoMax.

ButonSaturday,Bencouldn'tfindMaxattheshelter.

Helookedaroundtheroom,hopingtocatchaglimpseofhisfelinefriend.However,Maxwasnowheretobefound.Ben'sheartsankasherealizedthatsomeonemighthaveadoptedMax.Justthen,Mrs.Patelwalkedintotheroom,carryingMax.I'madoptinghim,"Mrs.Patelsaid."Youcancomeovereverydaytoreadtohim."HearingwhatMrs.Patelsaid,BenjumpedwithexcitementandthrewhisarmsaroundMrs.Patel.Ofcourse,hedidn'tforgettohugMaxtightlywhogaveacontentedpurr.范文分析：这篇范文在写作中把获得最佳朗读奖放在第一段。虽然文本信息点题。但是对第二段结尾的升华没有提升。这样一来，写作不能完全符合高考续写的叙述+升华的模式。给读者以草草收尾的感觉。参考范文一，

Weekbyweek,BenrealizedthatreadingseemedeasierwithMax’scompany.

Helovedreadingandevenfoundhimselfspeakupinfrontofthewholeclass,hisvoicefirmandposturecomposed,whichwasasweetshocktohisteachersandparents.Theshelternowbecameasanctuarywherehedivedintheseaofbooks,knowingdifferentfiguresandexperiencingdifferentlives.EverySaturday,hewenttotheshelterwithanewbooktoreadwithhisoldfriendMax.Itwasalsoeye-catchingforpassers-bytoseeaboyreadingattentivelyandacatpurringcomfortablyonhislap.Benhadthoughtthatdayswouldgoonlikethisforever.

这段文本里。Passers-bytoseeaboy似乎有超出文本范文之外的过度联想。因此在教学中不鼓励学生这样写。ButonSaturday,Bencouldn’tfindMaxattheshelter.

Panicked,hestoppedapassingworkertoask,onlytoknowthatMaxhadbeenadoptedbyakindlady.Ben’sheartsankatthenews.AlthoughfeelinghappyforMax,Benwasn’tsurewhetherhewouldlovereadingasmuchasbeforewithoutMax.However,backhomeatthegate,heheardafamiliar“meow”,whichliterallysentchillsonhisspine.HeturnedaroundandfoundMaxlyinginMrs.Patel’scourtyard,yawningandstretchinglazily.ItturnedoutthatMrs.Patelhadadaptedit.Withtearsofjoy,BenknewthathewouldreadagainwithMax.Hefeltluckytomeetthisspecialfelinefriendwhohadshapedhislife.

分析：这篇范文对文本信息中的图书馆管理员的朗读比赛和奖项只字不提。应该在写作在属于信息缺少。参考范文二，

Weekbyweek,BenrealizedthatreadingseemedeasierwithMax'scompany.

Theonceintimidatingactofreadingaloudbecameasharedexperiencebetweentheboyandthecat.Max'spurringwaslikeareassuringmelody,calmingBen'snervesandcreatingauniquebondbetweenthem.Astheweekspassed,Ben'sconfidenceinreadinggrew,andhisconnectionwithMaxdeepened.Maxwaslikeafurryoldfriendwhoaccompaniedandcomfortedhimtomakeprogressslowly.Therefore,BenwasgratefultohavemetMaxandeverySaturdaywasabigfeastforBen,whoalwayscounteddownthedaytomeetMax.

ButonSaturday,Bencouldn'tfindMaxattheshelter.

AnxietygnawedatBen'sexcitementashescannedtheroomforhisfelinefriend.TheshelterworkerexplainedthatMaxhadbeenadoptedearlier.BenfeltamixofhappinessforMax,whofoundaforeverhome,andsadnessforhimself,missinghisreadingcompanion.However,thenextday,Mrs.PatelknockedonBen’sdoor,holdingMaxinherarms.ThejoyonBen’sfacewasindescribableashereunitedwithhisbelovedpartner.Fromthatdayon,BenusuallywenttoMrs.Patel’shousetoread,notonlytoMax,butalsotoMrs.Patel.Anewoddbondwasforgedeversince.分析：这篇范文对文本信息中的图书馆管理员的朗读比赛和奖项只字不提。应该在写作在属于信息缺少。基于以上问题，笔者做了如下更改Thoseterribleexperiencelike

stumbleoverwordsorlosehispace（点题）,whichoncehauntedhimhadunconsciouslygivenwayto让位于smootherintonation抑扬顿挫Ben'sconfidenceinreadingregained,andhisconnectionwithMaxdeepened.Maxwaslikeafurryoldfriendwhoaccompaniedandcomfortedhimtoprogressslowly.Therefore,Benwas