2023学年完整公开课版友谊作文2016

Writing每个人都需要朋友。请写篇演讲稿谈谈你对友谊的看法。1描述发生在你和朋友之间的一件事；2谈谈你对友谊的看法。注意：100词；25分钟内完成。高分点赞C1507：张李轩，李晴YHC1518：易文波，唐嘉陵，邓可，谭思涵存在问题1：演讲稿格式不正确（开头）开头Hello!Boysandgirls!I'mdelightedtostandhere/It’smygreathonortotaltoyouaboutmyattitudetowardsfriendshiaginebeingwithoutthemNowIamgladtoshareastorywithmyfriendhere!

存在问题2：文章谋篇布局不当1通篇为观点性的句子或观点句加好几个假设但没有具体描述发生在你和朋友之间的一件事。此部分为文章的重点，应占60词左右。2第三段所发表的观点与事件脱节。OneeampleHello,everyone!I'dlietoshareastoryaboutmyfriendLilywithyou!Onemorning,hermothersentherabeautifulhairflowerIwantedtohavealoo,butshedidn'tallowIthoughtShewasjoing,soIrobbeditUnfortunately,it'sbroenShewasveryangrySeeingthat,IaeanymoreIt'sjustahairflower,isn'titItcannotbemeasuredifitisrealfriendshiaybeIwouldnotore第三段整改：It'saaybesuchfriendisnotworthhavingInmyoeansmercyandforgivenessDoyouthinso存在问题3：绞尽脑汁仍无事件可写原因：事件描述简单、且时态混乱如：考试事件haveaqui--hard--hel吵架事件argue--apologie--befriendagain

事件描述需从时间、地点、人物、事件发生的起因、经过、结果等方面进行描述，且要用一般过去时态。存在问题4：句型结构单一，简单句多，且语言基本错误多eg:telled;gived;shoaeddidn'ttoldwillcan'tinthistimeyouself存在问题5：书写马虎，卷面不整洁优秀学生作文Hello!Everyone!WhatfriendshieanstoyouForsome,friendshiostimyopinion,goodfriendsdon'tletyoudostupidthingsalone!

MaybewearestuesstrongerthanbeforeHaveyougotagoodfriendwholiestodostupidthingswithyouspecial!Attractive!构思新颖、内容充实、

结构清晰、语言运用自如！好词好句:1Theylistenedetocheeruesincerely2Ihoselves3Asweallnow,friendshiportancetoeveryone好词好句:4Iamgreatlyconvincedthatthemostimadesomecruelremars,butshedidn’tae6Istartedtoregretblamingherandcouldn’thelpspyingher好词好句:IhadaquarrelwithJac,andhemadesomecruelremarsaboutmeday,myfriend,Dianashowedgreatinterestinasance,butIdarednottohaveatryforfearofmaingmistaes优秀学生作文优秀学生作文优秀学生作文优秀学生作文范文一：Hello,everyoneIamverygladtostandheretomaeasytoeshareastorywithyouaboutmeandoneofmybestfriendManymemoriesfadeaway;however,neverwillIforgettheaccidentlastmonthOnasunnysundayafternoon,weweregoingtothecinemaOnthewaytocinema,wetaledsohayfriendgotveryworriedandlooedsadderthanmeTomysureonherbacwithoutasecondthought,runningtothehosomentShewassuchathingirlIcouldn'timaginehowwearrivedathospitalThroughthisaccident,IlovehermorestronglyIseethetruefriendshipFriendsarealwaystherewhenweareintroubleThat'sallThanyou范文二：Goodmorning,boysandgirls!I'mgladtohavethischancetotaltoyouaboutfriendshiyoostimportantthinginlifeItisfriendsthatalwaysButtomysurymathandIwassouaginehowangrymyybestfriendAnneeeandsharingherhaeShetoldmethattomorrowwouldbebrilliantThanstoherhelpor