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读后续写高考试卷中读后续写题总分为 25 分,按 5 个档次给分。第五档(21-25分) 与所给短文融洽度高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接合理; 内容丰富,应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语;所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达; 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分.第四档(16-20分) 与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接较为合理; 内容比较丰富,应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语;所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达; 比较有效地使用语句间的连接成分.找到矛盾冲突点~矛盾是故事的起点~人与自然
外界
灵感一闪
借助外力人与社会
误解
沟通让步人与自我
自己
自我意识觉醒-改过自新
情节构思负转正的行文思路段首句的前后影响找到可呼应的细节
2021新高考~阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。AMOTHER'SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.在父亲的帮助下顺利地完成了早餐。父亲要发货了解了情况没有发货一起做早餐
情绪描写动作描写动作描写动作描写+情绪描写祝福节快乐开心注意到Jeff的手感动+收尾语言描写心理+环境描写动作+情绪描写FourFactors故事线Storyline01突破点Target02亮点OutstandingPoints03基本点Pindownthetheme041故事线SGothroughthetextandgetthestoryline5WWHATWHOWHEREWHENWHYTHEMEOneweekendinJuly,Jane
and
herhusband,Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightby
alake
intheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasant
subjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom,“I’mgoingtofindabetterspotforus
tocamp”andwalked
away.Withnopathtofollow,Janejustwalkedon
forquitealongtime.Aftershehadclimbedtoahighplace,she
turnedaround,hopingtoseethelake.Tohersurprise,shesawnothingbut
forestand,farbeyond,asnow
cappedmountaintop.Shesuddenlyrealized
thatshewaslost.“Tom!”shecried.“Help!”Noreply.Ifonlyshehadnotlefther
mobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.Janekeptmoving,butthefarthershewalked,themoreconfusedshebecame.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewasso
tiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Lyingawakeinthedark,Janewanted
verymuchtobewithTomandherfamily.Shewantedtoholdhimandtellhimhow
muchshelovedhim.夫妻野外徒步后争吵,妻子独自出行迷路森林,等待救援。WhoJaneTomWhatJanewaslostWhereinaforestWhenOneweekendinJulyWhyAquarrelwithTom,herhusbandSummaryJanewaslistintheforestforthreedaysandsurvivedintheendThemeJanelearnedhowtocontrolemotionsanddealwithconflicsButnomorehelicopterscameanditwas
gettingdarkagain.__________________________________ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.___________________________________________2.Target借助段首突破内容。Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwas
gettingdarkagain.Jane是如何熬过这个夜晚的?1.HowdidJanefeelthen?2.Howdidjanemakeitthroughthenight3DidshefallasleepandwhatwasshethinkingofItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.___________________________________________Jane还未获救,今天会发生什么?1.wasJanerescuedandwhorescuedher?2.Howwassherescuedandhowdidshefeelthen?3.OutstandingPoints刻画细节语言
环境
心里
动作描写丰富的句式
非谓语
从句
倒装
独立主格
虚拟语气
强调句
感叹句修辞丰富
比喻niren夸张1.环境描写
Immediately/suddenly,anabsolute/acomplete+n.+ruledthe+地点N.+andawaveof+情绪n+washed/sweptoversb.Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforestandawaveofterrorsweptoverher.2.动作+心理描写One’sheartpoundingfiercelyandone’spalmsweating,aninnervoicetoldsb.that(独立主格)Herheartpoundingfiercelyandherpalmsweating,aninnervoicetoldherthatshehadtofindasafeplace.adjandadjassbwas,didsth,doingsth(非谓语)尽管又..又...Sb依然做sth...Tiredandterrifiedasshewas,Janestruggledtiherfeet,tryingnottohaveabreakdownbothphysicallyandmentally.3.语言描写Luckily/fortunately,itdidn’ttakelongbeforesbdid...Luckily,itdidn‘ttakelongbeforeshefoundacave.Sighingwithrelief,shesensedaglimmerof__________andfeltasifsth.hadbeendoingandsaying,“......”如释重负的叹了口气,Sb感到一丝...sighingwithrelief,shesensedaglimmerofhopeandfeltasifthecavehadbeencomfortingherandsaying,“Comein,youmustbeexhausted”with...,sbdid....,+非限定从withthat,shewenttosleep,inwhosedreamherhusbandkepthercompany.随着发生的一切,她进入了梦乡,在她的(inwhose)的梦里她丈夫陪伴着她连接第二段段首,新的一天来了Judgingfromthe__________,itwasevidentthatsb.wasstilltrappedin_________(withoutanyhelp).sb.wasatalosswhattodo.Judgingfromthequietsurrounding,itwasevidentthatJanewastilltrappedintheforestwithoutanyonecomingtotherescue.Janewasatalosswhattodo.转机出现Itsuddenlydawnedonsb。thatsbshoulddo...Itsuddenlydawnedonherthatsheshouldfindabigopenarea.Toone’sgreat________情绪名词Tohergreatjoy,itdidn’ttakeherlongtospotsuchaplaceandsheheardthedeafeningnoisecomingcloser.Toone’sgreat________情绪名词救援来了!Seeing/hearingsth,sb,feltagreatsenseof+情绪+wellingupinsb’sheartandsurgingthroughsb.听到sthsb感到一种强烈的+情绪
涌上某人心头
并且涌动全身Lookingupandseeingahelicopter,Janefeltagreatsenseofexcitementwellingupinherheartandsurgingthroughher.求救情绪+and+情绪sbsparednoefforttodo...soasto...Eagerandexcited,sheflaggedheryellowblouseandsparednoefforttoyellsoastoattractother’sattention.求救情绪+and+情绪sbsparednoefforttodo...soasto...Eagerandexcited,sheflaggedheryellowblouseandsparednoefforttoyellsoastoattractother’sattention.基本点
回扣theme感叹句强调句夹叙夹议喃喃自语在Para2欢喜大结局Luckily/fortunately/eventuallyFortunately,shewasnoticedandbroughtintothehelicopter。here,shesawherhusban,amanstaringather,wearinganexpressionofrelief.回归主体Itwasatthemomentthatsbdidnotdo----anymorebutdid----Itwasatthemomentthattheydecidednottoquarrelanymorebutlearnedtocomprom.Whatavaluablelessonforthecoupletolearn!1.他决定要上场比赛!2.转折*矛盾
矛盾属于
人与自我&人与人我与Mike的互动:
安慰
鼓励....1.比赛。(前-中-后)2.结局&升华中:
主角的表现&旁人的反应嘲笑
or不嘲笑2.结局&升华结局
:
成绩
好和以前一样没有必要最后一名,但是可以收获别的Paragraph1Wesatdownnexttotheeachother,butDavidwouldn’tlookatme.Judgingfromhisexpression,itwasevidentthathewastrappedinadilemma.”Allofusthinkyouarethebest.Youknowthat,right?”Itriedtogivehimsomecomfort.Hearingthesewords,Davidfinallyturnedhishead,tearsshininginhiseyes.”Iknowyoudo.Butthekidsfromotherschool.””Oh,boy,therearealotofthingspeopledon’tknow,”Icuddl
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