大学英语四级写作全解ppt

大学英语四级写作Bear,SchoolofForeignLanguages,CSU大学英语四级考试题型/

试卷结构测试内容测试题型分值比例考试时间写作写作短文写作15%30分钟听力理解听力对话短对话选择题（单选题)8%30分钟长对话选择题（单选题)7%听力短文短文理解选择题（单选题)10%短文听写单词及词组听写10%阅读理解词汇理解选词填空5%40分钟长篇阅读匹配10%仔细阅读选择题（单选题)20%翻译汉译英段落翻译15%30分钟总计100%130分钟1.大学英语四级考试写作要求目前指导大学英语教学的大学英语教学要求中规定，一般要求（一般要求是高等院校非英语专业本科毕业生应达到的基本要求，也就是四级要达到的水平）的英语书面表达能力为：能用常见的应用文体完成一般的写作任务，能描述个人经历、事件、观感、情感等，能就一般性话题或提纲在半小时内写出120词的短文，内容基本完整、用词恰当，语篇连贯。能在一般或应用写作中使用恰当的写作技能。2.四级写作评分原则及标准2.1.评分原则：CET作文题采用总体评分方法。阅卷人员就总的印象给出奖励分,而不是按语言点的错误数目扣分。从内容和语言两个方面对作文进行综合评判。内容和语言是一个统一体，作文应表达题目所规定的内容，而内容要通过语言来表达。要考虑作文是否切题，是否充分表达思想，也要考虑是否用英语清楚而确切地表达思想，也就是要考虑语言上的错误是否造成理解上的障碍。本题满分为15分,阅卷标准共分五等：2分、5分、8分、11分及14分。阅卷人员根据阅卷标准，对照样卷评分，若认为与某一分数（如8分）相似，及定位该分数（即8分）；若认为稍优或稍劣于该分数则可加一分（即9分）或减一分（即7分）。但不得加或减半分。2.2.评分标准

2分—条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误5分—基本切题。表达思想不清楚，连贯性差，有较多的严重语言错误。8分—基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。11分—切题。表达思想清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。14分—切题。表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性好，基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。Example2011.12You'reallowed30minutestowriteashortessayentitledNothingSucceedsWithoutaStrongWillbycommentingonthehumoroussaying,"Quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld.I'vedoneithundredsoftime."You'dwriteatleast120wordsbutnomorethan180words.2分

Whythesomepeoplenothingsucceedswithoutastrongwill?Inmyviewtheyarenothardgotosomething.Ontheonehandtheyarenotability.Ontheotherhandtheyarenottofacetheymyself.inotherwordstheyarenottorunthedream,asweallknow,havedreampeoplecanbesucceeder,inmyview,itisnecessaryforustodothedream.

Themorenothingsucceedsthemorenotdream.Wearenotonlyderiverdreamsbutalsogotohard,thisistherewearehavesucceeds.iftheoneonthehumorous“quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld.I’vedoneithundredsoftimes”wearehavetosucceeds. Allinall,wearenotthedream,wearehavetofair,generallyspeakingthepeoplegotothedream,weareknow.5分“Quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld,I’vedoneithundredsoftimes.”It’sahumoroussaying,butactuallythetrueisseriousanddifficult.Aseverybodyknow,“Romewasnotbuiltinoneday.BeforeitbecameRomer,therewasalongwaytothrough.Whetheryoucanarrivethefinalplace,itdependsonwhetheryourheartdeeplystickwithastrongwill.

Numbersofsuccessfulpeopleinhistorydepressedoursbywhattheydo.Welookupthem,listentheirstoriesbutwemustknoweveryonesucceedhadastrongwillwhentheywereyoung.Whatweneedtodoisthisconfirmwhatyourgoalis,makeitawillandpayforitwithyouraction.Don’tgiveupanytimeyouweretriedandworried.Practicemakesperfect,youcangetridoftheinconfidencebydoingallrightthings. Nothingsucceedswithoutastrongwill.Thewillneedn’tsobigbutsostrong.8分

Asisknowntoall,wherethereisawill,thereisaway.However,therearealsomanypeoplefailtoachievetheirdreams.Manypeoplewillsay,it’sbecausetheyhavenotgoodconditionortheyhavenotluckchance.Infact,theyjusthavenotthestrongwilltosucceed.Takequittingsmokingforexample.Ithasbeenaworld-wideproblemthatthousandsofmillionspeople’shealthisbeendestroyedbysmoking.Atthesametime,wealwaysseemanypeoplewhohavetakenactiontoquitsmokingbutfailinthetime.Becausetheycan’tforgetthefeelingofsmoking,andtheyhavenotstrongwilltoinsistit.Onlyiftheonewhohasstrongwill,willhesucceedinquittingsmoking. Toconclude,nopains,nogains.Wewillhaveourdreamcometruebyourstrongwill,andnothingsucceedswithoutastrongwill.11分

Asahumoroussayinggoes,“Quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld.I’vedoneithundredsoftimes.”Thisis,ofcoursethefact,butitalsotellsusthatwithoutstrongwill,nobodycanachievesuccess.

Nomatterwhatwayyouchoose,youwillsurelymeetmanydifficulties.Lifeisnotonlyfilledwithvictory.Takethesayingforexampleagain.Onceyoustartquitsmoking,youwillfaceadifficultchoiceeverytimeotherspassyouacigarette.Suchadilemmamaymakeyoupickyourformerhabitifyoudon’thaveastrongwill.Itisstrongwillthathelpsusovercomedifficulties.Besides,strongwillcanmakeyouknowwhatyouareseekingfor.

MadamCurieexperiencedmanytimesoffailureduringherstudyonradium.Newtonwasregardedasafool.Theygainconfidence,bravery,andalsoachievementsfromtheirstrongwill.

Asyouhaveseen,strongwillplaysanimportantroleinlife,soIsaynothingsucceedswithoutastrongwill.14分

Thehumoroussaying,“Quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld.I’vedoneithundredsoftimes”,illustratestheastonishingyetcommonoccurrencethatmanypeopletryhardtogiveupabadhabitbutinvain.Theyfailbecausetheylackastrongwill.Infact,nothingsucceedswithoutastrongwill. TakeThomasEdisonforexample.Heiswell-knownforhislargenumberofinventionswhichwerecreatedthroughthousandsofunsuccessfulexperiments.Haditnotbeenforhisstrongwill,hewouldhavemerelybeenwastingtimeandmoneyachievingnothing.Notsurprisingly,Edison’sperseveranceisactuallyacommonqualityamongsuccessfulpeople.

Ascollegestudents,weshouldbearinmindthatastrongwillhelpssetacleargoalforpeopleandprovideitsownerwiththemotivationandencouragementinfaceofdifficulties.Indeed,successgoestothosewhoareequippedwithastrongwill.Amanwithastrongwillisamanwhocannotbedefeated.(164words)

3.四级写作题材和类型四级写作的题材具有显著的现实性，基本可以分为两大类：

1.贴近大学生的学习工作及课余生活的校园题材2.论及当前社会的现象、发展变化及进步的热点话题。2011.6OnlineShopping1．现在网上购物已成为一种时尚2．网上购物有很多好处，但也有不少问题3．我的建议2011.12You'reallowed30minutestowriteashortessayentitledNothingSucceedsWithoutaStrongWillbycommentingonthehumoroussaying,"Quittingsmokingistheeasiestthingintheworld.I'vedoneithundredsoftime."You'dwriteatleast120wordsbutnomorethan180words.2012.6On

Excessive

Packaging

1.目前许多商品存在过度包装的现象2.出现这一现象的原因3.我对这一现象的看法和建议2012.12ALetterApplyingforaBankLoan

1.你的基本情况2.你申请贷款的原因、数额及用途3.你如何保证专款专用以及你的还款打算

2013年6月对白：

子：Dad,I'mabitworriedaboutdisposingofnuclearwaste（处理核废料）

父：Ifyoucanemptythedustbin（垃圾筒）here,youcandoanything2013年12月2014年6月Supposeaforeignfriendofyoursisgoingtovisityourhometown/yourcampus/China（多题多卷的三个不同）,whatisthemostinterestingplaceyouwouldliketotakehim/hertoseeandwhy?1.现象分析型2.问题解决型3.对比论述型4.应用文类5.图表分析型

3.四级写作题材和类型现象分析型作文命题是关于某个社会现象或社会问题的，要求考生分析该问题所产生的原因或造成的后果。例

2012.6On

Excessive

Packaging

1.目前许多商品存在过度包装的现象2.出现这一现象的原因3.我对这一现象的看法和建议

Iassumethatyouarefamiliarwiththephenomenonof“ExcessivePackaging”.Takingalookaround,wecanfindexampleswithease：asmallcomputerispackedinathickandheavycarton，clothesareputtedinawell-designedplasticbagsandmoon-cakesareusuallyplacedindelicateboxes.

Whatarethecausesofthisproblem?Ontheonehand,toearnmoreeconomicgains,aconsiderablenumberofmanufacturesusuallywraptheirproductswithunnecessarybutappealingmaterialsaimingatattractingcustomer’sattention,arousingtheircuriosityandthenstimulatingtheirpurchasingdesire.Ontheotherhand,quiteafewcustomersbelievethatthemoredelicatethepackageseems，thesuperiorthequalitywillbe,thenotionhasalsoencouragedthetrendofexcessivepackaging.Tochangethissituation,Ithinkweshouldtakethefollowingmeasures.First,lawsmustbemadeandimplementedtoimposerestrictiononexcessivepackaging.Moreover,apubliceducationcampaignshouldbelaunchedtoarousecustomers'consciousnessthatpackagingdoesn'tequaltoquality.Onlyinthiswaycanweputanendtothistrend.

On

Excessive

PackagingRecently,…hasbecomethefocusofthesociety.…hasbeenplayinganincreasinglyimportantroleinourday-to-daylife.Nowadaysthereisagrowingconcernfor…Nowadaysmoreandmorepeoplearebeginningtobeawareoftheseriousnessof…

Manyfactorsleadtothetrendof…Thereareseveralreasonswhy….Therearethreereasons,Ithink,for…Whatistoaccountfor…?Infactthereasonsarenotdifficulttoget.First,….Second….问题解决型问题解决型作文通常首先提出一个有待解决的问题，然后要求考生就该问题提出解决方法、途径，有时还要求考生最后谈论适合自己的方法。这种题型常见的结构模式是： 第一段：导言。描述现状、困难，提出问题。 第二段：方法。列举说明处理某事的方法或解决某个问题的途径。 第三段：评价、建议或个人选择。针对第二段所阐述的方法给予简要的评论，也可提出个人建议或选择，并简述理由。

例2010.12HowShouldParentsHelpChildrentoBeIndependent?1.目前不少父母为孩子包办一切2.为了让孩子独立,父母应该……howshouldparentshelpchildrentobeindependent?

Nowadays,thereisagrowingconcernoversuchaphenomenon,thatis,someparentstakecareofalmosteverythingconcernedwiththeirchildren,includingstudy,workandmarriage.Someparentsbelievethatthisislove,however,itisonlytodestroychildren’sindependencethoroughly.Forthefutureofthenextgeneration,moreeffortsshouldbemadebyparentstohelptheirchildrentobeindependent.Thefundamentaloneistocultivatetheawareness,namely,theimportanceandnecessityofbeingindependent,whichissupposedtobeginfromchildhood.Childrenshouldbetaughtthatnoonecanbestrongerandmorehelpfulthanthemselvesinthisworld.Thequalityofindependenceissoindispensableforusthatparentshadbetteractasatutor,notadictator.Andonlywithparents'trust,canthenextgenerationaccumulateconfidencestepbystep.Itishightimethatsomethingwasdoneabout…Onthewhole,itishightimethateveryone…Itisessentialthateffectivemeasuresbetakento…Inshort/Inaword/Inconclusion/Insummary/Inbrief/Tosumup/Toconclude/Allinall…对比论述型这类作文多为提纲式作文，议论文体裁。通过论述相反的两个观点，或分析评论某一社会现象的优缺点，然后给出自己的见解和看法，是四级考试写作中很常见的作文形式。例

IsaTestofSpokenEnglishNecessary? 1.很多人认为有必要举行英语口语考试，理由是。。。

2.也有人持不用的意见。。。

3.我的看法和打算

WhenitcomestothetestofspokenEnglish,people’sopinionsdiffer.Manypeoplebelievethatitisnecessarytoadoptsuchatest.Foronething,fluentspeakingabilityisbadlyneededintoday’ssocietythatisexperiencingreformandopening-up.Foranother,inamorecompetitivesocietysuchasourstoday,fluentspokenEnglishmeansmoreadvantageyouhavetobeatyourrivalincompetingforapositionwithmuchappealtobothofyou.

Somepeople,however,takeadifferentattitude.Theyregardthetestasbeingunnecessary.Intheirviews,fluentspokenEnglishdoesnotnecessarilymeanabetterjob;sometimes,opportunityplaysamoreimportantrole.Furthermore,manypeopledonotusespokenEnglishatallintheirwork.

AsfarasIamconcerned,Iamreallyinfavorofthetest.Ontheonehand,itcanencouragecollegestudentstotryeverymeanstoimprovetheirspokenEnglish.Ontheotherhand,collegestudentswillbenefitendlesslyintheirfuturecareeriftheycanspeakfluentEnglish.SoIdecidetomakeuseofeveryopportunitytopracticemyspokenEnglish,andsurelyitwilldomemuchgood.IsaTestofSpokenEnglishNecessary?（1）Thereisnoconsensusofopinionamongpeopleasto_______________.(2)Somepeoplewhoareinfavoroftheideaof________________holdthat___________.(3)Foronething,_______________.(4)Foranother,_______________.(5)Therefore,______________(6)However,thosewhoinsiston_____arguethat___________.(7)Intheiropinion,______________.(8)Inaddition,________.(9）Thus,___________.(10)Inmyviewpoint,______________.(11)Thatistosay,_______________.(12)Inaword,____________________

(1)Thereisaheateddebateover________.(2)Itiscommonlyacceptedthat____________.(3)Incontrast,othersthink_______________.

(4)Thosewhoholdthefirstopinionsuggestthat______________.(5)Intheirviews,______________.(6)However,othersthink_____________.(7)Theyarguethat________________.(8)Consideringoneafteranother,Istandonthesideof________.(9)Firstofall,_______________.(10)Furthermore,__________________.(11)Thirdly,______.(12)Therefore,_________________.

图表分析型图表作文的命题形式是根据图画或者图表，要求考生用简洁、生动的语言把图表中所提供的信息准确、完整地表达出来。然后进行分析和评论，并得出合乎逻辑的结论。图表作文是一种信息的转换。也就是说，写图表作文时，首先要以题目中的要求为指导，审慎读图，准确把握图表传达的信息，将其扩展成文。图表作文往往是以说明为主，图表中的数据是为了说明某个问题而提供的，只要问题能阐释清楚，就不必面面俱到地把所有数据都在文章中引用出来。考生要切忌毫无目的地引用图表中的数据。引用数据过多的同学往往得分很低。图表作文的段落设计

1.开头段—--说明该图表反映的概况，选择能充分说明主题的典型数据进行概述；

2.中间段—--对数据进行仔细地分析比较，归纳出增减速率，找出产生变化的原因；

3.结尾段—--写出看完图表后的想法或评论，得出自己的结论。图表分析型上图所示为1990年、1995年、2000年某校大学生使用计算机的情况，请描述其变化；请说明发生这些变化的原因（可从计算机的用途、价格或社会发展等方面加以说明）；你认为目前大学生在计算机使用中有什么困难或问题。

Thechartshowsthatstudentsarenowspendingmuchmoretimeonthecomputer,fromonehourtofourhoursperweekfrom1990to1995.Itisself-evidentthatitincreasessharplytotwentyhoursintheyearof2000.Threepossiblereasonscontributetothisphenomenon.

Onereasonisthatmostcollegestudentsnowcanaffordapersonalcomputerduetothesharpdeclineinitsprice.Anotherreasonisthattheyfindthecomputerawonderfulthingtohavefunwith.Forinstance,theycanchatthroughQQorplayinggamesonline.What’smore,fromInternet,theycanlearnthingsmuchmorequicklythansimplyfromreadingbookssothattheycansecureagoodjobinthefuture.Asaresult,alltheseleadtomuchmoretimespentonusingcomputers.

However,inmyopinion,therearesomecomplaintsfrombothteachersandstudents.Foronething,studentscomplainaboutthelessavailabilityofcomputersandslowspeedofthenetwork.Foranother,someteachersworrythatthemuchmoretimespentplayingcomputergamesorsurfingonlinewillleadstudentstoignoretheirstudiesandevendocheatinginsteadofdoingresearchbytheirown.Tosumup,inspiteofproblemsconcerningtheuseofcomputer,computerisstillofmoremeritsthandefects.

应用文类型四级考试中的应用文一般会给出一个特定的情景，要求考生根据该情景写一封短信、倡议书或演说词等。应用文涉及的内容多种多样，但大部分都与日常生活比较贴近,主要包括：投诉信、求职信、求学信、拒绝信、道歉信、感谢信、祝贺信、邀请信、求职信、演说辞、倡议书、海报、景点介绍和日程安排等。从历年真题来看，应用文的考查以信函为主，但近几年也常涉及其他类型，如倡议书、景点介绍等。（1）Iwouldliketosuggestthat…/Iamwritingwithmysuggestion/proposalabout…/Iamwritingtoexpressmyviewsconcerning…

我想建议……。/我写信来想就……一事提出我的建议。/我写信来表达我关于……的看法。(2)Youhaveaskedmeformyadvicewithregardto…andIwilltrytomakesomeconducivesuggestions.

关于……你让我提一些建议，我尽量提一些有益的建议。(3)Ifeelthatitwouldbebeneficialif…

我觉得如果……将会很有好处。(4)IfIwereyou,Iwould…

如果我是你，我将……(5)Itwouldseemtomethatyoucould…. 在我看来，你可以……(6)Asyoumayagreethat…

或许你会同意……。(7)Ihopeyouwillfindthesesuggestions/proposals/recommendationshelpful/practical/useful.

我希望你会觉得这些意见/提议/建议是有帮助的/实际的/有用的。(8)Itrustyouwilltakemysuggestionintoaccount.

我相信你会考虑我的建议的。(9)Iwouldbemorethanhappytoseeimprovementsinthisregard.

我会很高兴看到这方面的改善。(10)Iwouldbereadytodiscussthismattertofurtherdetails.

我会准备好与你进一步详谈此事。Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowritealetterinreplytoafriend’sinquiryaboutapplyingforadmissiontoyourcollegeoruniversity.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:

1.建议报考的专业级理由

2.报考该专业的基本条件

3.应当如何报考ALetterinReplytoaFriendDecember27,2008

DearTom,

Iamverypleasedtoknowthatyouaregoingtoapplyforadmissiontooneuniversity.Ithasbeenseveralyearssincewepartedlasttime,andsoonwewillprobablymeetagain.Inmyopinion,youshouldmajorinEnglish.Ononehand,Englishisaverypopularmajoratouruniversityandwehavemodernteachingmethodsandprestigiousprofessors.Ontheotherhand,youseemtohaveagiftforlanguagelearningandyouarereallygoodatEnglish.

AstothepreparationforapplyingfortheEnglishmajorofouruniversity,IsuggestyoupaymoreattentiontospokenEnglish.Ifyoumakeagoodperformanceinoraltest,youwillhavethepriority.Itisunnecessaryforyoutobenervous.Inaddition,whenmakingpreparationyoushoulddomoremodeltests.Iamsureyouwillsucceedintheexam.

PleaseinformmeifthereissomethingIcandoforyou.Iamlookingforwardtomeetingyouonourcampus. Sincerelyyours, LiMing4.四级作文中的常见错误4.1.基础语法方面时态，语态，比较级，非谓语形式，冠词用法，可数不可数名词，不定代词单复数……

Attheageofsix,myfatherbegantogivemeEnglishlessons.WhenIwassixyearsold,myfatherbegantogivemeEnglishlessons.Havingcarriedouteconomicreformsinourcountry,people’slivingstandardhasgreatlyimproved.Sinceeconomicreformshavebeencarriedoutinourcountry,people’slivingstandardhasgreatlyimproved.Toimproveone’swritingskill,regularpracticeisessential.Toimproveone’swritingskill,onemustmakearegularpractice.4.2.修饰语不当4.3.少用连词

Peoplehavedebatedwhetherweshouldcancelitformanyyears.Opinionsvaryfrompersontoperson.Peoplehavedebatedwhetherweshouldcancelitformanyyearsandtheopinionsvaryfrompersontoperson.TVbecomesanimportantpartinoutdailylife.Becausewecannotlivewithoutit.TVbecomesanimportantpartinoutdailylife,becausewecannotlivewithoutit..4.4.指代不当PeoplehavebeenfightingagainsttheinfluencesofTVcommercials,butitoftenprovesuseless.PeoplehavebeenfightingagainsttheinfluencesofTVcommercials,butthiseffortoftenprovesuseless.Televisionprovidesuswithavivid,colorfulworld,whichenablesustoenjoylifethoroughly.Byprovidinguswithavivid,colorfulworld,televisionenablesustoenjoylifethoroughly.4.5.句子意思表达不完整

Weshouldrealizethatsmartphoneisadouble-edgedswordwhenweenjoyitsconvenienceandjoy.Inaddition,thecorruptionisalsoanimportantreason.Havemoneycandomanythings.Therearemanypeopledomorningexerciseinthepark.Hisjokemademelaughtodeath.Chinesepeoplearedevotingthemselvestothephysicalexercise.Why?Becausetheythinkitisveryimportanttotheirhealth.Howmanydifferencesaretherebetweenthem?Letmetellyou.4.6.中式英语句子.4.7语篇层面偏离主题段落缺乏统一性缺少连贯性

缺乏逻辑性Withtheeconomicgrowth,people’slifequalityhavebeenimproved.Manypeoplehaveextramoney.Sothequestioniscoming.Thatis,whatweshoulddo,spendthemoneyorsaveit?Gotocollegeornot,thatisaproblem.WhatdoChinesecollegegraduateshaveincommonwithants?Bothofthemarecountless！GettingjobisabigproblemforcollegegraduatesinChina.

Somepeoplethinkitisuselesstostudyincollege,……4.8.拼写错误environment（环境，容易写成enviroment）government（政府，容易误拼成goverment）modern（现代的，容易拼成morden）respectable（受人尊敬的），respectful（尊敬别人的），respective（各自的）economic（有关经济的），economical（节俭的）delighted（感到高兴的），delightful（使人高兴的）.historic（有历史意义的），historical（关于历史的）considerate（关心别人的），considerable（相当大的，相当多的）sensible（合理的，可感知的），sensitive（敏感的）credible（可信的），credulous（容易轻信的）continual（持续的，中间有间隔），continuous（持续的，中间没有间隔）satisfied（满意的），satisfactory（令人满意的）farther（更远，表示距离），further（更进一步，表示程度）imaginary（虚构的，想象中的），imaginative（想象力丰富的），imaginable（可以想象的）1长句和短句变换2主动句和被动句变换3非谓语从句变换4比较句变换5松散到紧凑变换文章优化 变换句式短句变长句 受汉语思维习惯影响，很多考生往往会直接将脑子里的意思译成英语，而忽略句与句之间的联系，,因此，在平时写作时，考生要注意前后句子之间是否存在联系，善于发现各个简单句之间的关联，用恰当的连接词将简单句连接起来，组成准确地道的复杂长句，增加文章的气势。【例1】【原文】Liesdoharmtothosewhoarebeingtoldlies.Liesalsodoharmtothosewhotellthem.

【优化】Liesnotonlydoharmtothosewhoarebeingtoldlies,butalsodoharmtothosewhotellthem.

【例2】【例3】【原文】Usually,afactisdefinedasatruth.Thetruthcanbetestedbyobservationorexperimentation.

【优化】Usually,afactisdefinedasatruth,whichcanbetestedbyobservationorexperimentation.

【原文】Teenagersarepressuredbyschoolwork.Theyarealsoencouragedbytheirpeers.Undersuchcircumstances,theyresorttosmoking.Butsometimestheyfeelalittleguilty.

【优化】

Pressuredbyschoolworkandencouragedbytheirpeers,teenagersoftenresorttosmoking,thoughtheyfeelalittleguiltysometimes.

【例4】

【原文】WhenIturnedrightonthecorner,amotorbikeknockedintoasmallcar.Themotorbikewasred.Thereweretwopersonsonthemotorbike.Thecarwasyellow.Themotorbikefelldown.Thetwopersonsonthemotorbikewereslightlyinjured.Thedrivercameoutofthecaratonce,andaskedaboutthetwopersons’injuries.AssoonasIsawthat,Imadeatelephonecallto110.Thetrafficpolicearrivedinashorttime.

【优化】WhenIturnedrightonthecorner,aredmotorbike

withtwopersonsknockedintoasmallyellowcar.Immediately,themotorbikefelldown,andthetwopersonsonthemotorbikewereslightlyinjured.Atthattime,thecardrivercameoutofthecar,andaskedaboutthetwopersons’injuries.Seeingthis,Idialedthe110.Inashorttime,thetrafficpolicearrived.

2.长句变短句

长句固然能表达出复杂而缜密的思想，但如果片面追求复杂句子，反而会显得华而不实，成为表达的累赘。写作中句子的长短应根据表达的需要而定。短句不仅指句子长度较短，也指句子内部结构精炼，简洁是写作的一个重要原则，用词累赘则是写作的大忌。【例1】【原文】Hisfather,whoisasalesman,becameamillionaireovernight.【优化】Hisfather,asalesman,becameamillionaireovernight.

【例2】【原文】Perhapstheybasicallydistrustedourcapacitytojudgecorrectly.【优化】Theydistrustedourjudgment.

一、将下面的长句和短句进行优化改写，使其更符合表达要求。

【原句】 【优化】Thecaptain,atall,thinmanwithabigmustache,waspacingthebridgewithalookofimportance.

Thegradingsystematourcollegeshouldbeabolished,becauseneitherthestudentsnortheinstructorslikeit.1.Thecaptainwasatall,thinmanwithabigmustache.Hewaspacingthebridgewithalookofimportance.

2.Thegradingsystematourcollegeshouldbeabolished.Thestudentsdon’tlikegettinggrades.The

instructorsdon’tenjoygivinggrades.

与汉语相比，英语更注重动作本身，而不是动作的执行者，因此在英语中被动语态的使用相对多一些，但这并不表明要一味地追求被动语态的使用。主动变被动

1）不需要体现动作的执行者【原文】 Weshouldpaymoreattentiontotheelderlywhohaddevotedtheiryouthandenergytoourcountry.

【优化】

Moreattentionshouldbepaidtotheelderlywhohaddevotedtheiryouthandenergytoourcountry.

主动句和被动句变换

【原文】 【优化】Theseriousnessoftheproblemonthereservesofrawmaterialsshowsthatitisimportanttosetupaplantoconserveanddivideupfairlynaturalresourcesonaworldwidescale.Thosewhodon’tlikehavingroommatesarguethatseveralpeoplelivingtogethercausessomeunpleasantnessbecauseeverypersonhashisorherownway.5.Naturalresourcesareverylimited.Theywillbeexhaustedinthenearfuture.Itisnottrue.Butitbecomesamajorconcernaroundtheworld.Thisisawidelyacceptedfact.

4.Somestudentsdon’tlikehavingroommates.Theythinkeverypersonhashisorherownway.Andseveralpeoplelivingtogethercausessomeunpleasantness.

3.Theproblemofthereserveofrawmaterialsisbecomingmoreserious.Itshowsitisimportanttobeginaplan.Weshouldconserveanddivideupthenaturalresourcesonaworldwidescale.

Itisawidelyacceptedfactthatthereisamajorconcernaroundtheworldfortheexhaustionoflimitednaturalresourcesinthenearfuture,thoughitisunlikelytobetrue.2）需要强调动作的承受者【原文】 TheemployeeselectedMr.Lichairmanofthecommitteelastweek.【优化】

Mr.Liwaselectedchairmanofthecommitteebytheemployeeslastweek.

3）保持陈述对象的一致，以求行文通顺

【原文】 WhenthePrimeMinisterarrivedattheairport,hundredsofreporterssurroundedhimimmediately.【优化】 WhenthePrimeMinisterarrivedattheairport,hewasimmediatelysurroundedbyhundredsofreporters.2.被动变主动1）需要体现动作的执行者【原文】 Ifyouarefriendlytoothers,youwillbeheldhospitableattitudetowardsbythemandviceversa.【优化】 Ifyouarefriendlytoothers,theywillholdhospitableattitudetowardsyouandviceversa.

2）保持陈述对象的一致，以求行文通顺【原文】 Oneveryimportantqualitydevelopedbymanyindividualsduringafirstjobisself-reliance.ThisqualitywascultivatedbymewhenIwasallowedbymysupervisortosetupandconductmyownsurveyproject.【优化】 Duringtheirfirstjob,manyindividualsdeveloptheirveryimportantqualityofself-reliance.Icultivatedthisqualitywhenmysupervisorallowedmetosetupandconductmyownsurveyproject.一、要求：请将下面句子中语态使用不当的地方进行优化改写，使其更符合表达需要。【原文】【优化】

1.Weknowthatsmokingisharmfultopeople’shealth.2.Weshouldadvisepeopletoprotecttheirowninterestsandnottobeledastraybyfalseadvertisements3.Nowadays,publicplacesandadvertisementsofanykindforbidsmoking.2.Peopleshouldbeadvisedtoprotecttheirowninterestsandnottobeledastraybyfalseadvertisements.

3.Nowadays,smokingisforbiddeninpublicplacesandadvertisementsofanykind.

1.Itisalmostknownthatsmokingisharmfultopeople’shealth.

4.Computersmayhelpscientistsinanalyzingdataanddoingcomplexcalculation,whileengineersmakeuseofsomecomputersindesigningaplane,oraspaceship.

5.Thoseinfavorofuniversitymarriagearguethatweshouldgivecollegestudentstherighttogetmarriedsincetheyareadults.

4.Computersmayhelpscientistinanalyzingdataanddoingcomplexcalculation,whilesomecomputersaremadeuseofbyengineersindesigningaplane,oraspaceship.

5.Thoseinfavorofuniversitymarriagearguethatcollegestudentsshouldbegiventherighttogetmarriedsincetheyareadults.

非谓语动词包括不定式、动名词、现在分词和过去分词。【例1】【原文】 WhenIlookintothefuture,