Parenting 2-5 years old养育2-6岁的孩子

1、 Parent-Child Relations and Education Dr. Bo (Pearl) Wu, Home Economics Parenting preschool-aged children学龄前儿童的养育Broad tasks of parents of preschool-aged (2-6yrs) children (Brooks) Being a sensitive, responsive caregiver (provides feelings of security to the child) 做个敏感，负责任的照顾者（为孩子提供安全感） Achieving b

2、alance in response to two competing trends: the childs increasing individuality, and the childs need to control his or her behavior 平衡对两种矛盾要求的反应：儿童逐渐增长的个性，以及儿童需要控制自己的行为 Helping children face challenges so they feel successful帮助孩子面对挑战,以便他们能感受到成功 Serving as “coach” to foster competence in social relat

3、ionships在处理社会关系中扮演着教练的角色 Helping the child conform to rules outside the home 帮助孩子遵守家庭以外的规矩 Providing companionship and play to the child 为孩子提供陪伴，和孩子一起玩“ I wasnt prepared for all the decisions. Is it okay if he does this, or not? Hes trying to do something; shall I step in so he doesnt hurt himself o

4、r shall I let him go? Its making all these choices, making sure what I feel”- A mother (Brooks p. 280)Two models of parentingThe Independent model Parents use verbal instructions, and verbal praise to encourage approved behaviors偏重语言指导 Parents encourage preschooler to move away from them physically鼓

5、励孩子离开自己 Parents encourage curiosity and thinking, and teach them verbal self-expression. 鼓励好奇，思考，教孩子们表达自己The INTERdependent modelParents value close and harmonious family relationships看重亲密的家庭关系They rely on empathy and their bond with the child to be effective at teaching, with little verbal instruct

6、ion依靠共情以及和孩子的情感联结，来教育孩子。少语言指导Child stays close to parent physically, as apprentice. 孩子呆在父母身边，象学徒工Parents teach child to take their appropriate place in the social hierarchy of their culture.父母教育孩子在等级文化下处在自己合适的位置Areas of special challenge for preschoolers parents学龄前儿童的父母面临的挑战 Childrens sleep patterns

7、儿童的睡眠习惯 Temper tantrums; emotional upsets发脾气 Sibling rivalry 兄弟姐妹间的争执 High activity levels 活动量太大 Aggression攻击性行为 Social withdrawal and inhibition社会退缩行为 Gender-specific roles 性别角色的问题Sleep problems Preschoolers need about 10 hours of sleep per night, but many dont get it. 学龄前儿童需要每晚10小时的睡眠,但是很多孩子没睡够 Sl

8、eep routines help, but children also need to be able to “duplicate” the sleep routine in order to fall back asleep if they wake in the middle of the night. 建立睡眠习惯很有帮助,但是孩子可能需要学习重新入睡 Many children have irrational fears at this age, and need reassurance. 许多孩子感到害怕,需要大人安慰他们 Some children have “night ter

9、rors” (害怕怪物的出现）Tantrums and emotional upsets 发脾气和沮丧 3-5 year olds are very sensitive to punishment（3-5孩子对惩罚敏感）, and tend to judge the “wrongness” of an action by the end effect (whether or not you get punished)（通过是否受到惩罚来判断自己行为的对错） Upsets are more likely to occur with PARENTS than with sibling or pee

10、rs.容易和父母发生沮丧的情绪 Children adopt different strategies for expressing their resistance to parents requests. Initially, some are direct and defiant（反抗）, while others show passive non-compliance（不合作） As children gain more skill at negotiating (“using words”), this strategy becomes more common and defianc

11、e less common. 和父母讨价还价 Defiance （反抗）is most common where parents use HIGH-POWER strategies such as threats of physical punishment and direct commands. 当父母使用高权力的方式,比如威胁要使用体罚和直接命令 Non-compliance （不合作）occurs often when the wishes of the parent are not fully understood by the child （父母的愿望没有完全被孩子所理解） whe

12、n parents are “fuzzy” （模糊）about what they want. Explaining, persuading, and assisting the child increases compliance.解释，说服和协助孩子会帮助他们听话. Children need to feel positive reinforcement for “following the rules”（遵循规则需要得到正面强化）, not just negative reinforcement for not following them（而不仅仅是当不遵守时的负面强化）Recipe

13、for a coercive relationship（强迫性亲子关系是怎么练成的） fussy infantnegative and unpredictable parent increased irritability, infant sees world as unpredictable, unsupportive place, becomes more negative and irritable parent becomes more negative and irritable and withdraws positive attention.Sibling rivalry 兄弟姐

14、妹间的争执 Each child has a unique perspective, which parents may not understand. (The grass often seems greener for the other child.) 父母未必理解孩子的视角 Children may feel like rivals when parental attention is scarce, or where they feel someone is getting differential treatment.认为父母对她/他的注意力被分散了 Sometimes child

15、ren fight MORE when they sense that parents are nearby to break up the fight. 他们希望父母过来制止他们打架High activity levels Motor activity is increasing(运动能力增强), but the brains ability to inhibit it when necessary is still limited （大脑在必要时的抑制能力仍有限）at this age. Most children quite active and impulsive, but some

16、are especially so. Parents of highly active children often possess some of the same tendencies. 高运动能力的父母的孩子通常也是这样.Some start to respond to highly active children by engaging power struggles competition with their children. They are intrusive and directive（侵入性的；爱发号施令的） While these children need struc

17、ture and limits(需要建立日常生活规范和界限）, they also need acceptance and coaching（孩子也需要接纳和教导）. And above all, they need to feel rewarded for their GOOD behaviors, which take effort. 需要在他们好的行为得到奖励, 因为这些好的行为需要付出努力Aggression（攻击性行为）At age 2, the most socially competent children also tend to be the most aggressive.

18、 By age 5, the picture has changed: aggressive children are NOT the most socially competent. 2岁，最有社交能力的孩子最容易有攻击性。到了5岁，情况变了，有攻击性的孩子不受欢迎了Some children persist in destructive, hurtful behavior. When parents respond in an angry, out-of-control way, this presents a negative role model that feeds aggressi

19、on.当父母用生气的方式对待，孩子仍然保持有破坏力的行为。这是孩子攻击性行为的负面的榜样Parents are more successful when they treat aggression as an ongoing pattern that requires a long-range fix, not a temporary response. This means rewarding non-aggression, calmly using non-aggressive techniques such as “time out” for aggressive episodes, a

20、nd teaching specific alternative social behaviors. Above all, parents need to avoid showing rejection of an aggressive child. 成功对待攻击性孩子的父母知道，对待孩子的攻击性行为需要很长时间，比如在外面呆着，或者教给孩子一些社交性的方式。父母要避免拒绝有攻击性的孩子Withdrawal in children社会性退缩的孩子（害羞的孩子） Approach-withdrawal is a part of temperament, a tendency children a

21、re born with. 有些孩子天生如此 Children who are allowed and encouraged to explore their environment tend to become eager to do so; those whose parents are overprotective, or who punish them for exploring their environment tend to become inhibited. 孩子如果被鼓励探索环境，他们会如此；过度保护的父母或者惩罚孩子探索环境的，孩子倾向于胆怯。 If parents are

22、 consistently harsh, children become dependent rather than independent, unable to take new initiative without feeling anxious.如果父母持续对孩子很严厉，孩子会更加有依赖性而不是独立，无法主动探求而不感到焦虑。Gender-role understandingsChildren becomes increasingly aware of the difference between their mother and father figures, and they are learning that they are “like” the parent of the same sex. 孩子意识到父母的形象不同Gender identity is a part of self-concept, as children actively construct in their own minds what it means to be a boy or gir