新成长的烦恼第1季03

1、TOON LIZZIE: I know what you're thinking. But I have the situation totally under control. I've been packing for this overnight science field trip since, like, last year.LIZZIE: (picking up Mr. SnugglesTOON LIZZIE: Am I insane? I can't pack that. I might as well pack the pink ducky pajama

2、s.LIZZIE: Sorry, Mr. Snuggles. ( oinks I'd never live it down if I brought you.TOON LIZZIE: Here's the lowdown on our trip. Downside: bugs, snakes and my science teacher Mr. Pettus. Upside: 48 hours in the woods, parentless. ( quacks Just me, Miranda, and Gordo. It's like Survivor but fo

3、r school credit.- THEME SONG -* If you believe * * We've got a picture-perfect plan * * We've got you fooled * * 'Cause we only do the best we can * * And sometimes we make it * * And sometimes we fake it * * But we get one step closer each and every day * * We'll figure it out on th

4、e way. *SAM: Who calls during breakfast?LIZZIE: Hello?MIRANDA: Okay, let's go over this one more time. Flashlight? LIZZIE: Check.GORDO: Check.MIRANDA: Non-dorky pajamas?LIZZIE: Check.GORDO: Check.MA TT: (on phone Mom wants to know if you have batteries for your flashlight.LIZZIE: Mom, Matt's

5、 on the phone!JO: What are you doing? Respect your sister's privacy. (to LIZZIE over phone Honey, do you have batteries for that flashlight? LIZZIE: Mom, I'm talking to my friends.JO: I know that; I'm sorry. Hey, you guys. Hey, Gordo, hey, Miranda.GORDO: Hi, Mrs. McGuire.MIRANDA: Hi, Mrs

6、. McGuire.JO: Y ou guys are going to have the best time camping out staying up all night, telling ghost stories. Y ou know, I remember.LIZZIE: Okay, Mom, there wasn't enough clean underwear for me to pack.JO: Oh, my. Bye, guys.GORDO: Brilliant ruse.MIRANDA: Have you guys gotten "The Talk&qu

7、ot; yet?GORDO: Y ou mean the "Stick With Y our Buddy" talk?LIZZIE: No, but I'm sure it's coming. I'll see you guys on thebus.GORDO: If I don't get lost first.LIZZIE: ( giggles MIRANDA: ( giggles LIZZIE: Mom, I'm old enough to pack by myself. Plus, it's only overnigh

8、t.JO: I know but it's not like you're going overnight to Miranda's house. Y ou know, I can't just swing by if you forget something. I mean, you're taking this big step into this whole new world and I just want to make sure that you're fully prepared ( voice cracking : before

9、I let you go. Now, I want you to listen to your chaperone and stick with your buddy.TOON LIZZIE: Disappear once in a mall when you're six and you're branded for life.MA TT: Why can't I go camping?SAM: We'll camp this weekend with your mom. In the house. MA TT: But it's not the sa

10、me. I mean, you won't even let me light a campfire in the living room.JO: (to MA TT regarding SAM Oh, I know, he's such a wet blanket. (to LIZZIE Honey, you don't have any toilet paper in here.LIZZIE: Mom, it doesn't say to pack any toilet paper on the list.JO: Well, you can't go

11、 to the woods without toilet paper.TOON LIZZIE: If humiliating me were an Olympic event my mother would take home the gold. ( bell rings ( camera shutters clicking KA TE: Hey, Lizzie, we were talking and wanted to know if you remembered to pack Mr. Snuggles. ( oink, oink LIZZIE: Mr. Snuggles?KA TE:

12、Y ou know, your fuzzy little piggy that you can't sleep without? One time at a sleep-over Lizzie forgot to pack Mr. Snuggles and her mommy had to come and drop him off. Oh, and you had those great pajamas, too. What were they, pink puppies? MIRANDA: They were ducks. ( quacking .not puppies.KA TE

13、: Whatever. Did your mommy remember to pack your pink ducky pajamas? Or has she stopped shopping at Dorks 'R Us? ORDO: So, Kate, besides an "F" in science what else do you expect to find in the woods today?KA TE: To tell you that I'd have to talk to you. Which I don't. GORDO: I

14、 wonder if Spielberg started this way.LIZZIE: Thanks, Gordo.MIRANDA: What about me? I helped.LIZZIE: Yeah, Miranda, you helped her. "No, they were pink duckies."MIRANDA: I tried.GORDO: Well, I'm off to record adolescent milestones. Danny, what do you expect to find in the woods?DANNY:

15、Something like. When Wild Animals Attack. ( growls GORDO: Repeat after me: "Would you like fries with that?" DANNY: Huh?GORDO: Ethan, that's an interesting choice of clothing for a camping trip. Care to explain it?ETHAN: Get that camera out of my grille, dawg. ( record scratches MIRAND

16、A: That was almost the shortest filmmaking career ever. GORDO: (to LIZZIE Get me before Mr. Pettus comes in. LIZZIE: Okay, Gordo. What do you expect to find in the woods? GORDO: Well, I expect to find a lot of animals. I really like bears.MR PETTUS: Okay, kids, listen up. A final announcement before

17、 we load up the bus. There's a small problem with the girls' chaperone. It seems our own Mrs. Stebel ate a little something. Well, no need to badmouth the cafeteria. ( retching Now, don't worry- we don't have to cancel because we found a last-minute replacement. MIRANDA: Ugh, I hope

18、it's not Coach Kelly. I secretly think that she and Mr. Booth, the janitor are the same person.LIZZIE: Or Mrs. Nangle. She has the weirdest teeth. I saw her eating lunch once. Ooh, scary.GORDO: Anyone you get is going to be better than Mr. Pettus. I put a frog in his lab coat on Monday. ( ribbit

19、s It's still there today. LIZZIE: Well, let's see who our Mystery Chaperone is.MR PETTUS: And here she is. A big round of applause for the chaperone who stepped in and saved the day- Mrs. McGuire! ( horror movie music plays TOON LIZZIE: This is not happening, this is not happening this is no

20、t happening!JO: Hey, guys.MIRANDA: Hey, Mrs. McGuire.GORDO: Hi, Mrs. McGuire.TOON LIZZIE: Not happening!LIZZIE: Mom, what are you doing here?JO: Weren't you listening? Mrs. Stebel ate in the cafeteria. LIZZIE: Mom, I swear I won't get lost.JO: Well, of course you won't get lost, honey &#

21、39;cause I'm going to be your buddy. And don't worry, I won't embarrass you 'cause remember, I'm a cool mom.TOON LIZZIE: McGuire's a common name. Maybe people will think it's a coincidence.KA TE: Hi, Mrs. McGuire. Did Lizzie forget to pack Mr. Snuggles again?JO: Mr. Snugg

22、les wasn't invited. But I remembered to bring enough toilet paper for everybody. ( horror movie music TOON LIZZIE: Guess what? Y ou can die of embarrassment.MA TT: Where's Mom?SAM: On her field trip with Lizzie.MA TT: Mom's chaperoning Lizzie's field trip?SAM: Y ep.MA TT: Lizzie'

23、s going to hate that. Cool.SAM: It's just us men tonight.MA TT: Men, men, men, men, men, men, men.SAM: Son, why don't we see what Mom left us for dinner. Hmm. ( piercing scream MA TT: It's that tuna- noodle casserole she's been trying to get us to eat for the past three weeks.SAM: Oh

24、, man, that is just plain mean.MA TT: It says to heat at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.SAM: I don't think heating is going to help. It's just going to make it angry. ( low growl MA TT: We're going to starve, aren't we? It's just going to be like that movie where everybody starved, i

25、sn't it?SAM: We're not going to starve.MA TT: We aren't?SAM: No, son. We're going to cook.MA TT: ( screaming We're going to starve! Oh, we're going to starve.SAM: Matt, don't you worry your spiky little head. I've got it under control.MA TT: ( screams We're going

26、to starve! ( insects chirping MR PETTUS: The object of this afternoon's hike is to identify and classify as many species of plants and animals as possible. We're going to split up into two groups. The girls will be led by Mrs. McGuire. They will be the Tagi. JO Y eah! ( doink MR PETUS: And t

27、he boys will be led by myself We will be the Pagong. The group who identifies the most species of plants and animals will not have to eat a rat for dinner. I-I-I'm kidding, of course. (notices the frog in his pocket He must've jumped into my pocket when we got off the bus. Hop away, little f

28、ellow. ( splat He must be nocturnal. Anyway, the winners will get to relax after the hike and the losers will get to dig up earthworms with me for the class worm farm. Any questions? Y es, Kate?KA TE: Y ou don't mean worms from the ground, do you?MR PETTUS: Y es, Kate, worms from the earth. Eart

29、hworms.KA TE: Can I bring a doctor's note on Monday to excuse me from this?MR PETTUS: No.KA TE: Then how do I get out of worm digging?MR PETTUS: Y ou identify more plants and animals than the boys. Okay, everybody, let's go. Pagong, follow me. Here we go. KA TE: Mrs. McGuire, we better not l

30、ose. I am so not digging for worms.JO: Well, that means we so need to win. Okay, girls. Who are we? And you guys go "Ta-gi!"GIRLS: ( weakly : Ta-gi.JO: What are we going to do? Y ou guys go, "Win."GIRLS: ( weakly : Win.JO: Okay, then.TOON LIZZIE: Tonight on LizzieVision: "Wh

31、en Good Moms Go Bad."* Is there somewhere else that I could be? * * Anywhere but here is fine with me * * Searching, searching low and high * * There's nothing here as far as I can see. *MIRANDA: I was right! It is a Y ellow-Bellied Sapsucker. JO: Excellent job. High five, girlfriend!TOON L

32、IZZIE: My mom just high-fived my best friend. And the worst part is she actually thinks she's being cool. ( twinkling sound JO: Okay, "Y ellow- Bellied Sapsucker. "Found in woodlands. Drills holes in bark to."SAM: Salt?MA TT: Got it.SAM: Half a dozen oranges?MA TT: Got it.SAM: One

33、 whole duck? A whole duck. Huh.MA TT: No got it. We've got hamburger and Fudgsicles.SAM: Y ou know, duck isn't entirely necessary for duck l'orange. We'll improvise. The best chefs in the world always think on their feet.MA TT: I got a bad feeling about this. (talking to the oven mit

34、t hand puppet Me, too.JO: .and that is the story of the Y ellow-Bellied Sapsucker. ( snoring JO: Come on, girls, get up. ( dingdong JO: Wow, it's really quiet. ( suspenseful sounds It is too quiet. ( rustling JO: Do you see something?LIZZIE: No. Is anybody there?GORDO: Pagong! ( screams Pagong!

35、( screaming Pagong! Pagong! ( screaming Pagong!JO: Stop.LIZZIE: Oh! How could you do that?!GORDO: I was just getting in touch with my hunter- warrior instincts.LIZZIE: Gordo!GORDO: Survival of the fittest?LIZZIE: Gordo!GORDO: It was Ethan's idea.LIZZIE: ( growls ( screaming JO: Don't leave y

36、our buddy!LIZZIE: That was so unfair. How could we have identified anything? Our guidebooks were soaked!MIRANDA: Mr. Pettus should've disqualified them.KA TE: That was the grossest thing I have ever done. MIRANDA: I can't believe I touched a worm.LIZZIE: A worm? Try hundreds of worms. ( gagg

37、ing KA TE: (to LIZZIE Y ou know, this is all your mother's fault. She is a terrible leader. What a waste of a manicure.MIRANDA: It doesn't matter whose fault it is. The point is, wehave to get back at the boys. Any ideas?LIZZIE: Earthworms. in. their. bunks.JO: Absolutely not, Lizzie.TOON LI

38、ZZIE: At 6:27 on Friday night my mother destroyed what was left of my life.JO: There is no way we are putting earthworms in the boys' bunks tonight.TOON LIZZIE: Forget the boys. Mom's getting earthworms in her bunk tonight.MIRANDA: Oh, yeah. Someone would have to take them in there. Do we re

39、ally want to touch the worms again? ( gagging sound JO: Forget it, and besides, boys like earthworms.LIZZIE: We have to get them back and the only thing we have more of than earthworms is. toilet paper. Maybe we should fill their bunks with toilet paper. ( gasps ( bell dings JO: Oh, that's a gre

40、at idea.LIZZIE: Huh?* We can be winners, we can deliver * * We've got a plan * * 'Cause we're no fools * * We're no fools * * And our team rules * * Our team rules!* * Our team rules!* * We're gonna master any disaster * * We'll take a stand * * But if we run out of luck* ( s

41、moke alarm ringing * Get ready to duck * * Get ready to duck! *SAM: Maybe we shouldn't have tried to make duck l'orange.MA TT: Especially not with hamburger.SAM: Y ou know, the tuna-noodle casserole is sounding pretty good.MA TT: That's the hunger talking. Dad? Are we going to die? ( cri

42、ckets chirping MIRANDA: Okay, come on. Now, this is fun.LIZZIE: Y ou wouldn't be saying that if it was your mom. MIRANDA: My mom wouldn't lead a midnight teepee raid on the boys' tent.JO: Okay, this is it.KA TE: Mrs. McGuire. are you going to get us into any more trouble?JO: Y eah, you m

43、ay get in trouble. Well, stay in the tent and let the boys have their victory. Stay in the tent and maybe you won't get detention. Or. you can follow me. and teepee.MIRANDA: Here. Do your war paint.LIZZIE: Are you kidding me? Stop encouraging her! MIRANDA: Come on. If this was anyone else's

44、mom you'd be having the time of your life.LIZZIE: Exactly, but it's not.JO: Okay, girls, we have this one chance. this one moment to get back at the boys. Don't let your digging for earthworms be in vain. Who are we?GIRLS: Ta-gi!JO: What are we going to do?GIRLS: Win!JO: Let's do thi

45、s. ( squishing JO: Y ou guys, go! Get out! Go! Run back to the tent! ( boys snoring BOY: Aah!BOY2: Oh.MR PETTUS: Mrs. McGuire?JO: ( echoing scream: No! ( whistling explosive ( splashing ( laughter JO Ta-gi.MA TT: Pizza's good. Got here quick, too, huh? Dad, we've got to hang out more often.M

46、R PETTUS: What was with the toilet paper that you brought? JO: Listen, you're just being so unfair. I can't even believe I'm having this conversation.MR PETTUS: I'm being unfair? Y ou.GORDO: Detention for a year is the odds-on favorite.LIZZIE: Ugh, you're not helping.KA TE: This

47、whole thing was your stupid idea. Now your mom's going to tell and we're all going to be in trouble. Thanks, Lizzie. MIRANDA: Well, you did it, too.KA TE: Whatever. MIRANDA She's right. We're so busted. GORDO: It happens.LIZZIE: No. I cannot get detention. People like me don't do

48、 well in detention. I'll never survive. It'll go on my permanent record. I won't be able to get into college and I'll end up dipping cones at the local Dairy Freeze.GORDO: I like those cones. I'll be going now.MR. PETTUS: (to JO That's not how a chaperone should act. ( birds

49、singing JO: Okay, kids. listen up.MIRANDA: Mrs. McGuire. are we going to have detention forever?JO: Girls, when you're an adult you learn that all of your actions have consequences.KA TE: Knew it. JO And you have to live with those consequences, good or bad.MIRANDA: It's gonna be bad. It'

50、;s gonna be real bad.JO: But one good thing about being a kid is that you have parents who can sometimes bail you out. I told Mr. Pettus I acted alone. I took the rap. ( joyful notes play TOON LIZZIE: Okay, just when you're ready to trade her in for a new model, your mom does something cool and

51、you realize she's pretty much the coolest mom in the whole world. LIZZIE: Mom. JO: Oh, what have I done to annoy you now? LIZZIE: Okay, I guess I've been a little hard on you. JO: Yeah. LIZZIE: Then I'm sorry. because I'm really glad that you could come along on this trip. JO: You are? LIZZIE: Yeah. JO: Hone