夫妻固然要重新适应生活子女亦会因父母离异而可能出现

1、高隹焙、分居,封每一（0身虞其中的人，都曾带来生活上趣大的樽建。夫妻固然要 重新逾鹰生活，子女亦曾因父母离假I而可能出琪逾鹰冏题 ；但在孩子心目中，你 典前伴侣仍是他伸号永速的父母”，道是不曾改建的事父母若能合作及稹 趣共同参典有教餐孩子的事宜，道不但曾减少父母离假01寸孩子的影簪，封他伸号 的成H带来«（助，更是父母可送给孩子的一份珍11橙物。It brings a huge change in life for anyone involving in a divorce or marital separation. While the broken-up couples have

2、 to adjust to the mode of living anew, their children may also have to face the adjustment problems arising from the separation of their parents. However, in the mind of the children, you and your ex-partner would be their “ parentsforever, ”the fact that can never be changed. If the parents can con

3、tinue cooperating and actively participating in the upbringing matters of the children, this will lessen the adverse impact of parental divorce/separation, and thus facilitate the children desvelopment. This is a precious gift for the children.父母本身在面陶高隹焙/分居可能出垣的反J#The possible reactions of the paren

4、ts in face of divorce / separation?感到身心疲累，情绪容易波S& ,不K再典前伴侣接斶。Feel exhausted physically and mentally, encounter emotional disturbances easily, reluctant to communicate with the ex-partner.?因女昏姻失败而感到沮丧、怨恨封方或心存歉疚。Feel frustrated upon marriagefailure, harbor resentment against the other party or fee

5、l guilty.?据心高隹JIS寸子女的影U。Worry about the impact of divorce/separation on thechildren.?据心以接生活。 Worry about the living afterwards.? H得封不起子女。Feel sorry for the children.?容易符自己封前伴侣的®（视或愤怒投射在子女身上,或希望子女同自己封前 伴侣的看法。 Likely to project ones own hostility and anger to the ex-partner onto the children, or

6、expect the children to side with one sown view about the ex-partner.同住一方 For the one living with the children容易符子女成悬生活焦黑占，因力蜀自照K /管教子女而敕易典子女彝生街突。Tend to take the children as the focus of life; more likely to develop conflict with the children because having to take care of and provide guidance to th

7、e children single-handedly.容易聘子女常作健510（寸象，尊求情绪慰藉。Tend to take the children aslisteners of one ' s grievance for emotional comfort透谩子女查探前伴侣情况 。 Try to get information about the ex-partner through the children.因子女典前伴侣迤行探视畤表？IK心而感到不满或不高典，甚至向子女表连 ftWWMo Feel discontent or unhappy because the childre

8、n appear happy during the ex-partner access, and even display negative sentiment to the children.不同住一方 For the one not living with the children因不再典子女同住，SM1自己典子女的信舒系11rsfSf疏离隹。Worry that therelationship with the children will become distant because of not living with them.不能面封探望子女带来的不安而退撵放H典子女见面。Unab

9、le to face theuneasiness when visiting the children, thus giving up visiting them.有不公平的感JI, it得子女支持前伴侣而跟自己的信割系疏离隹。Feel beingunfairly treated, thinking that the children side with the ex-partner and distant from oneself.恐怕子女被前伴侣"洗腰P而不接受自己 。 Afraid that the children arebrainwashed by the ex-partn

10、er and hence do not accept oneself.透谩子女查探前伴侣的情况。Try to get information about the ex-partnerthrough the children.不同年南邻皆段的子女封父母离假I可能出琪的反鹰The possible reaction of children at different ages in face of parents ' divorce / separation1典完P皆段(0-3 S) Infants (age 0-3)Unable to-未能理解事件，但曾感受到的氟氛，出琪哭制不停的情况un

11、derstand the matter, but can feel the tension around and keep yelling all the time.-若父母情绪不稳，照IB或曾受到影U o The caring of the infant may be affected if the parent is emotionally unstable.2 .幼兄P皆段(3-5 i§) Toddlers (age 3-5)建寸家庭的博建感H混窗L焦f#和恐，濯。Feel confused, anxious and fear for thechange in the fami

12、ly.- 不能接余田父母的高隹累，幻想父母11r彳复合。 Cannot accept parents ' divorce/separation and think they will come together again.- 内疚及自K,以悬自己造成父母的高隹累。Feel guilty and self-reproachingregarding that parents cfivorce/separationis due to the toddler own faust.- 行悬建回幼稚，以表遭I内心的惶恐和不安。Show regressive and childishbehavio

13、r, expressing anxiety and fear in their mind.3 .初小P皆段(5-8 阂 Junior primary (age 5-8)建寸父母的分离隹 11r出琪哀像的情Exhibit sad emotion upon parents ' separation-思念高隹|第的父或母。Miss the departed parent.建寸父或母出琪忠IS的矛盾，感到被夹在中IW。Find loyalty to one of the parentsconflicting, feeling being caught in between them.4.高小P

14、皆段(9-12 阂 Upper primary (age 9-12)- 比敕意宜派到父母IW的彳蓟突和分离隹的原因。Recognise comparatively more thecause of parents ' conflict and separation建寸父母的行悬作出道彳惠判If,因而感到，情怒和羞於。Make moral judgment onthe parents ' beh avidrfeel angry and ashamed.- 自尊感 11r 降低。Lowered self-esteem.- IHM/W 下降。Declined academic per

15、formance.- 出？I 行 冏 H。Exhibit behavioral problems.-出？I 忠 IS 矛盾。Develop loyalty conflict.5.青少年P皆段(13-18 1§) Adolescents (age 13-18)- 因要承据照弟妹和安摭同住父或母的情绪，因而感到责任沉重而情绪不安。Feel burdened and have emotional disturbances becauseof having to share the responsibility of taking care of younger siblings and c

16、omforting the emotion of the parent with whom the adolescents is living together.建寸於父母的彳蓟突，曾温热他伸号的行悬幼稚而感到羞於或IBS。Feel ashamed ofor disgusted with the conflict of the parents as they regard their behavior as childish.- 出？I 忠 IS 矛盾。Develop loyalty conflict.- 感震:被忽略或威熄而出?I反叛行悬如高隹家出走。Feel being neglected

17、 orotherwise fed up and exhibit rebellious behavior such as running away from home.甚麽是 共享冻懒 ” ？ What is Shared Parenting ?共享貌殿是指夫妻离假I彳爰，仍然保持潢通和合作，雉持伙伴信割系， 一起教餐子女，曲助子女成房。Shared Parenting1 refers tohe continued communication and cooperation between the separatedparents to maintain “ partnershirenting

18、the children in order to facilitate their development.K用贴士 : Practical tips:横视及虑理因高隹昊带来的面情St 。 Examine and manage the negative emotion induced by the divorce/separation-放下，情怒等负面情绪，冷SM1理典前伴侣的&手。Put aside the negativesentiment such as anger, be calm in handling disputes with the ex-partner.-不在子女面前

19、if寸方的不是。 Do not criticize the ex-partner in front of thechildren.- 不要把子女置於父母的中，例如向子女打m寸方的私事、透谩子女 一遮轩I息。Do not put your children in the middle of the parents ' disps11tsuchas prying into the ex-partner s private affasrthrough the children, or passing on messages to the ex-partner through your chi

20、ldren.- 如樊琪自己仍深受高假I的困援或仍因典前伴侣接斶而感不安，鹰尊求社工等 惠 II 人士的曲助。If you find yourself still disturbed by the divorce/separationor feel uncomfortable in contacting your ex-partner, you may seek help from professionals such as social workers.典前伴侣的潢通 Communicate with the ex-partner- 余勺定畤言寸谪子女的事情，保持曼方封子女成房的了解，例如孥H

21、、行悬、 情绪等。Set aside a time to discuss about the childrg s matters, keep both sides informed of the children" development, such as the children" study, behavior and emotion.- 逐定合宜的潢通平台，例如ft垂B、m舌短轩I、手械即畤通制US用程式等。Select an appropriate communication channel such as email, phone SMS, instant mob

22、ile messaging applications, etc.- 售IS以系直管子女福祉的生意伙伴身分迤行潢通，典前伴侣建立I®似生 意伙伴的潢通模式和合作隘M系。Try to communicate in the role of “partersrunning a business of the children" swell-being, "i.e. to establish a mode of communication and collaboration similar to that of “ business partners ”- 潢通的忘舌题以子

23、女悬焦黑占，以解决曲题悬目襟。Focus of the topic ofdiscussion should be the children, with an aim of resolving difficulties.- 先徙曾罩具醴安排K始,常曼方逾鹰此模式彳爰,才言寸谪H速或重大决定 Start with simple and concrete matters, discuss long term and crucial matters only after both sides have got used to the mode of communication.- 徵t1封方就乎子女的

24、一些重要决定(例如退校、升孥、重要IBS安排、离隹 境等)的意见。Seek the ex-partner' sview regarding important decisionsconcerning the children (e.g. school selection, further study, important medical arrangement, or travelling abroad).- IHf耐心聆IS,澄清封方要表连的意思。Learn to listen with patience,clarifying what the other really wants

25、to say.- 尊重或管就理解封方有信由子女的决定。Respect or try to understand theex-partner' s decision regarding thhildren.- 常彼此有不同意JU, J8探取互相尊重、求妥曲的熊度。Take the attitude ofmutual respect and compromising when there is difference in opinion.- 避免在小事上手拗。Avoid arguing on minor issues.- 切忌在子女面前手持，K子女成悬磨心。Avoid by all mea

26、ns quarreling infront of the children, putting the children in difficult situations.典前伴侣悬子女教餐事宜共同言丁立共享貌殿曲Si及新行有安排Work out ashared parenting agreement jointly with your ex-partner and carry out accordingly1 .安排子女的照IB和起居畤序Set up the caring and daily life schedule of thechildren-言丁立子女的照K及生活安排，包括日常生活畤表、

27、祷曾、外活勤。 Decide on the children' s daily life and caring arrangement including time-table for daily routine, tutoring, and extra-curricular activities.-典前伴侣翥量雉持一致的管教方式和起居畤序；亦要尊重曼方曾有不同的 生活！?慢，曲助子女逾方不同的生活方式。 Align as much as possible with the ex-partner the parenting style and the daily life schedu

28、le; at the same time respect the difference in style of living between the two parties, and help the children adjust to the different life styles.2 .安排K方典子女接斶和共虑Arrange time together with the children for bothparents- 列出一些重要的日子、假日和活勤，决定如何分配适些日子典子女相虑及 tt人出席相信制的活勤。List out some important days, holiday

29、s and events,decide how to allocate the time together with the children on these days and who will attend those events.- 典前伴侣58先曲St接送子女的安排，包括地黑占、畤接送途彳至及其他人 的曲助。 Reach consensus in advance with the ex-partner on how to pick up the children, including the pick-up time, the place, the route, and if som

30、e other persons will assist in the task.- 告if子女典非同住家房接斶和共虑安排的群情。Inform the children thedetails regarding the arrangement for he or she meeting and spending time together with the other parents not normally living with the non-residing parent.- 建立及彼此遵守典子女共虑的畤表，但同畤有弹性地虑理封方®（外的要 求。Set up and follo

31、w the timetable for spending time together with the children, but at the same time entertaining ex-partner' s additional request flexibly.- 容If子女典前伴侣罩力蜀相虑i,尊重他伸号的私U。Allow the children to stayalone with the ex-partner and respect their privacy.- 了解及逾常地虑理子女拒余自典非同住家:6见面的情况。Try to understandwhy the children refuse to meet the parent the non-residing parent