英文写作教程第2章 遣词造句

1、第二章 遣词造句要搞好英语写作的遣词造句，离不开扎实的英语基本功。扎实的英语语言功底是英语写作的前提。这方面，前面已做详尽阐述，无须在此赘述，仅仅强调一点，就是要熟悉英语遣词用字的特点、熟悉英语常用句型并灵活运用。2.1 英语遣词用字的特点：要弄清英语遣词用字的特点，用北二外美国专家杜大卫(David Tool)的话来说，就是“simple, concise and objective” (简单、简洁、客观)，这同时也一语道破英语的写作风格。这方面，不妨看一个极其简单的英语句子，来看看其措辞是多么的简单，而含义却那样的深刻： There were gambols of swans in the

2、 clear water of the fishponds, all in folds of light and shade. 这句话你该如何理解？ 有几只天鹅在几个鱼塘清澈的中嬉戏，一切都在光和影的叠影之中。？意思的确没错，可你错过了字里行间隐含的深意：鱼塘三五，池水清澈，光影掩映，几只天鹅戏水池中，泛起阵阵涟漪。 我们知道，英语和汉语是两种完全不同的语言(语言体系、文化背景大相径庭)，各自在“构词性能”(word-building capacities)、“词组排列程式”(patterns of phrase order)、“连句手段”(techniques for linking cla

3、uses into sentences)等各方面存在着巨大差异。体现在句式结构上，汉语呈“竹节形”，一个小句接一个小句平行铺排；而英语则呈“树形”，主干枝桠分明，是一种立体结构。另外，表现在遣词用字上，汉语不怕重复，往往靠辞藻的渲染来烘托氛围，英语则最忌同义重复，常常靠结构的前后照应来加强语义，几个简单的词语一旦有机组合在一起，字里行间便蕴含了深意。不明这一点，不注意英语的“构词性能” 和组词“搭配规则” ，一味按汉语的方式在英语中行文用字，把汉语的语感强加于英语之上，导致的结果只能是生硬牵强、啰嗦堆砌、言不达意甚至不知所云, Chinglish或School English 满天飞，画虎不成

4、反类犬。例如，当你用英语写出下面的句子，是否意识到它不地道？ 例1. I went there to have a look. All I remember now is just the guards in yellow uniform at the entrance, with no other impressions left on the mind.问题在哪？“所有记得的是”，“别的没有印象了”，没错啊！如果你知道英语“all”的含义，你就会觉得这个句子十分怪异：既然是“all”，就已囊括一切，还哪来的“with no other left”呢？例2. As I gave him a

5、back rub, his firm and well-shaped muscle and tense back-structure made me very admirable.(我给他揉了一会儿背，他那匀称结实的肌肉和紧绷绷的身板令我赞叹不已) 好像没什么问题，更没有语法错误，哪儿不对劲？看看地道的英语是怎么说的吧：I gave him a back rub, marveling at his symmetrical knit of muscle, the organic tension.就是这么简洁！几个简单的字眼一旦有机组合，表达的意义竟是那么到位！对比一下前面写的英语句子(多少有些C

6、hinglish)。英语的精妙组合一览无遗！再如，你想用英语表达下面的意思：例3. 不要对那些掩藏于心底的人生不快之事耿耿于怀。“艰难时光终不长，坚韧者苦尽甘自来。”换句话说，就是要正视现实，用成熟的心态去应对生活的挑战按我们的习惯思维，写出来的英语可能是这样的：Dont be obsessed with those unpleasant things in life hidden in your mind. “The hard time will never last long, but the tough people will enjoy the success after hardsh

7、ip”. In other words, we should face the reality and be mature to meet lifes challenge.用词没问题，意思也表达出来了，似乎不错？可你知道规范的英语应该如何表达？Dont engage in a personal cover-up of areas that are unpleasing in your life. Tough times never last but tough people do. In other words, face reality and be mature in your respo

8、nses to lifes challenges.差距在哪？还是汉语思维在作怪！例4. Scientific and technological advance can make us now prove up the frontier of the cosmos, make clear the most basic constitutions of matter, and comprehend the wonder of life.【科技进步使我们现在能探明宇宙的边陲、弄清物质的最基本成分，领悟生命的奇妙】两下对比，丝毫没有语法错误，应该没问题吧？看看规范的英语应该怎么表达：Scientif

9、ic and technological advance are enabling us to comprehend the furthest reaches of the cosmos, the most basic constitutions of matter, and the miracle of life. 一个简单的“comprehend”就涵盖了汉语3个词的意思，这就是英语的词语搭配规则，就这么简洁！再如，你想用英语表达下面的意思：例5. 中国的武术，海外叫功夫，可谓博大精深，源远流长，是中国人民在长期的斗争和生活实践中创造出来的一项健身运动，也是中华文化的一朵奇葩。你怎么写？会

10、不会是这样： The Chinese martial art is called “Kongfu” overseas, and is very extensive and profound, and has a very long history. It is a fitness exercise created by Chinese people in the long struggle and life practice, and is also a wonderful flower of the Chinese culture. 你认为这样的英语符合前面讲的那“三字诀”吗？口语这样表达无

11、可厚非，因为没有传达错误信息(“奇葩”除外) ，但用文字书写出来，可就不地道了！看看下面的英语： The Chinese martial art “wushu”, also called “Kongfu” overseas, is known for its profundity and long history. Its a physical exercise created in the Chinese long-term combats and life practices, and also a treasure in Chinese culture.这样表达是不是简明多了？同时，“文

12、化”上的“奇葩”不能用“flower”，因为不合逻辑，只能转换为“treasure”(瑰宝) 才正常！之所以要举这些例子，原因在于，中国学生的英语写作，在很大程度上实际是一种“汉译英”式的操作方式：心里想的都是些汉语的表达，用英语写作时，往往不假思索直接写出，选词用字习惯于查阅词典，一个萝卜一个坑，几乎字字对应，却忽略了这个词在特定上下文中的搭配，只注意它的字面意思，以为把它们凑在一起就行了，殊不知英语(汉语同样如此)一词多义的现象十分普遍，不同的词语搭配会产生完全不同的意义，且不少词汇的搭配关系早已在长期的语言实践中约定俗成，不熟悉、不了解这一情况，导致的结果只能是言不达意、事与愿违。不妨也

13、看几个简单的例子：例1.从周一到周五通常是我们的日常工作时间。在这5天之中，我们经常早起晚睡，一般都在晚10点到11点才能上床。整天我们都忙着干同样的活，几乎没时间休息和放松。有人写出的英语是这样的： 【学生习作】Usually, from Monday to Friday is our daily work time. During these 5 days, we get up early and go to bed late, such as 10 oclock or 11 oclock. We do the same job in a hurry all the day, which

14、makes us nearly have no time to rest and relax ourselves. ?一看就是按照自己头脑中的汉语文句写出来的，显得散乱、生硬、言不达意。若熟悉英语遣词造句的方式，写出来的英语至少应该是这样的：【改写】 Our daily routines in a week usually start from Monday to Friday, during which we often get up early and go to bed late usually until 10:00 or 11:00 pm. Everyday were busy wi

15、th the same routines, leaving little time for rest and relaxation.例2.【学生习作】 Life in our dormitory, where(?) we regard as our home(?). Dormitory Life(!) is a large part of our life. After class, if no activities, we will go to our dormitory. To watch TV, to wash clothes, to tide the room, to chat, an

16、d sometimes to study(?). They are all parts of our everyday life, we can benefit a lot from it, such as(?!) our ability to live independently. It(?) is really interesting. 【问题一目了然！原因？如何改进？】【改写】We regard our dormitory as our home where the time we spent takes a large portion of our college life. When

17、 no work to do after class, we will go back to it to chat, watch TV, and do some washing, cleaning, and self-studies. They are part of our daily life and weve benefited so much that we learned how to live independently and how to enjoy ourselves. What an interesting life we have in the dormitory! 例3

18、. If someone asks me to give advice in a few words, that is: “Dont be too serous!” You always find some people take themselves very seriously. Usually, these people either think too much or talk too much about themselves.(如果有人一定要我用几个字给予忠告的话，那就是“别太认真！”。你总会发现有些人太把自己当回事，通常情况下，这些人要么对自己念念不忘，要么对自己大谈特谈) 看得

19、出问题来吗？尽管没有语法错误，尽管也能表达出这样的意思，可就是读起来不地道。看看规范的英语：【改写】If I had to give advice in a few words, it would be “Lighten up!” you can always see people who take themselves too seriously. Usually they are either brooding or talking a great deal about themselves.【值不值得背下来？】要解决汉式英语的问题，最好的方法就是多记多背一些英语的名言佳句和好的段落、篇章

20、，以增强语感。我们说学习英语的过程就是一个积累的过程，英语写作也不例外。只要我们平时多观察、多留意、多琢磨、多下功夫，就能积少成多，形成良好的语感和习惯，打下扎实的英语写作基础。2.2 写好英语句子 上一节讨论了遣词用字，但遣词也好，用字也罢，都离不开句子。词语只有用在句中才有意义，而句子又是构成段落的基本单位，要搞好英语写作，首先句子要写得规矩，要做到规矩，就必须熟悉英语的基本句型(详见pp030-039)。一般而言，对英语的句型心中有数，并能熟练运用，句子符合语法规则符合句型结构，应该就是好句子。但另一方面，从写作的角度看，句子写得规矩并不意味着就能写出好的文章来，因为任何一篇文章，都不是

21、句型的机械模仿，句子的写作还要符合文章的需要，与上下文意义连贯起来。因此，适时的句型变化(variety)也是很重要的因素，这都与句型运用的熟练程度有关。就像讨论遣词用字必须结合上下文一样，句子的讨论也必须结合段落才有意义。只有根据文章的需要熟练运用各种句型，才能完成“集词成句，集句成段，集段成篇” 这一写作的全过程【即组词连句成篇过程】。 在组词连句成篇的写作过程中，写好句子是关键之一，除了不犯语法错误、符合英语句式要求这一基本条件之外，还须遵循四大原则，即：1) 统一性(unity)2) 连贯性(coherence)3) 简洁性(conciseness)4) 多样性(variety)【详见

22、课本pp040-042】 1) 统一性 一个句子必须有也只能有一个完整的思想，若有几个意思，相互之间则须具有一定的内在联系或逻辑关系。它包含三个内容，即句子的完整、思想的独一、意思的统一。如果将两个完全不同的思想置于同一句中，则完全破坏句子的统一性。 例如： (1) There is no doubt that he can finished the work by himself, and his colleagues are also around there.(他能独立完成工作没问题，而且还有他的同事们在那儿呢！) 一看就是按头脑中的汉语写出来的。汉语这样表达似乎说得过去，英语就逻辑不通

23、了：“独立完成”与“几个同事在那儿”没有直接关系，不能用“and”并列, 逻辑语义有缺失，必须补全，否则句子不统一： 改写(1)There is no doubt that he can finish the work by himself, and besides/moreover/ whats more, his colleagues are around there.那下一句表达又当如何呢？(2) Now that his colleagues are around there, there is no doubt that he can finish the work by himse

24、lf.【意义略有不同，此句逻辑上“在那儿”成了条件(既然)，而上一句是附加(更何况)，但都有内在联系，没有破坏统一性】(2)Moyan, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2012, wrote many novels such as Red Sorghum, White Cotton, Red Locust(红蝗), Woman of Fat and Sex(丰乳肥臀), and lived in a village in the countryside of Qingdao City, China. 意义前后不对等，“写的小说”与“住在乡下

25、”逻辑关联不大，是两个独立的完整意思，不能用连词“and”并列。若实在要连为一句，需将句子逻辑缺失部分补全： Moyan, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2012, wrote many novels such as Red Sorghum, White Cotton, Red Locust(红蝗), Woman of Fat and Sex(丰乳肥臀), most of which were done by him in a village he lived in the countryside of Qingdao City, Chin

26、a.2) 连贯性 句子表达要前后衔接、意义连贯、符合逻辑、明白易懂。也就是说，写出来的英语句子必须连接贯通，衔接自然。句子不论长短都应环环紧扣，符合语法、逻辑严谨。做不到这一点，写出来的句子就会缺乏连贯性。例如： Moyan is known for his native soil novels Red Sorghum, White Cotton, Red Locust(红蝗), Woman of Fat and Sex(丰乳肥臀), and all these novels are based on what he heard, saw, and experienced in his hom

27、e village. 【?】汉式英语，中国学生英语写作陋习！头脑里怎么想，笔下就怎么写，局部与整体的关系交代不清。何况莫言写的乡土小说，知名的也不止这几部。若在“novels”后加上短语“such as”、将“and”(并列关系)转换为独立主格结构(主次关系)，语义关系就清楚了，逻辑也就连贯了，结构也更紧凑： Moyan is known for his native soil novels such as Red Sorghum, White Cotton, Red Locust(红蝗), Woman of Fat and Sex(丰乳肥臀), all based on what he he

28、ard, saw, and experienced in his home village. 还有一种句子缺乏连贯性的情况。例如：英：Looking down from the top into the distance, an expense of flat land lay before us. 汉：登上山顶极目远眺，山下是一马平川。【英：大问题: “Who” looks down? 逻辑主语！】 【汉：没问题：人详我略】改写(1) Looking down from the top of the distance, we can see an expense of flat land l

29、ying before us. (2)When we looked down from the top into the distance, an expense of flat land lay before us. (3)We looked down from the top into the distance, an expense of flat land lying before us. 【英语就是这样逻辑严谨、泾渭分明!】 3) 简洁性 简洁客观应该是英语表达的一大特征(还记不记得“三字诀”?)，任何赘言与不必要的重复都是英语写作之大忌，这一点我们已多次强调，这里不再赘述。这方面不

30、妨看几个例子： 例1. There was a boat in the river. It was floating about in the shadow of the trees. It seemed to be abandoned by somebody. 没有任何语法错误，哪儿不对劲？ 结构松散，典型的娃娃腔！ 改进： The floating boat in the shadow of the trees in the river seemed to be abandoned by somebody. 例2. The best way to maintain a good relat

31、ion with your friends is to have a limit in communication with your friends and never interfere with your friends affairs. (维持朋友亲密关系的最好办法是往来有节，互不干涉) 既没有语法错误，也没有不通顺的地方，那问题在哪？ 你不觉得它啰嗦堆砌了一点儿？ 改进(1) The best way to maintain a good relation with your friends is never to break the limit in communication o

32、r interfere with each other.甚至： (2)The best way to maintain a good relation with your friends is to communicate by measure based on a mutual noninterference. 4) 多样性 前面讲过，句子写得规矩并不意味着就能写出好的文章，句子的写作还要符合文章的需要，与上下文结构连贯起来。 我们在写作时常受汉语思维的影响，写出的句子往往比较单一，缺少变化，这与汉语的句型特点不无关系(多个小句平行铺排)。 英语的句法和语法手段远比汉语完备得多，也丰富得多，

33、那么，我们在英语写作时，为何还要死守着汉语单调的句型，弃“长”而取“短”呢？岂不本末倒置？因此，写作中适时地变化句型，简单句、并列句、复合句综合运用(还有动词非谓语形式、独立主格结构、介词短语等)，可使文章生动，富于活力，一改我们中国学生千篇一律、单句成堆的陋习。例如： (1) The best habit to health is to keep early hours, and this, like other good habits, is most easily formed in youth.(2) To keep early hours is the best habit to h

34、ealth, and this, like , is .(3) It is the best habit to health to keep early hours, and this, like, is(4) It is the best habit to health to keep early hours, which, like, is.(5) There is no better aid to health than the habit of keeping early hours, which, like, is most easily formed.(6) There is no

35、 better aid to health than the habit of keeping , forming most easily , just like other good habits.(7) Like other good habits, the habit of is most easily formed , which is the best habit to health.你看，同一个意思的句子，在英语中竟有如此多的变化【还不止这些】！当然，行文的好坏还是有高下之分的，但基本都能表达同一个意思，这就是英语句子的多样性。倘若我们在英语写作时，能根据文章的需要，适时予以句型变

36、化，这样写出来的文章会生动活泼的多。 总之，掌握了这四大原则，会使我们的英语表达更加丰富，更加生动，读起来也更像英语。 下面，不妨结合这四大原则，从我们自己写出来的几个句子中找找问题： 例1. One writes, “She is like a mother to me”, gets a better effect when “mother” is replaced by “aunt”. (!?) 问题：逻辑紊乱，文不成句！ 改写：When we write such sentence as “She is like a mother to me”, the word “mother” in

37、 it gives us a better association than the word “aunt”. 例2. First of all, he(she) should be one I can turn to for help and I am willing to give my favor. (!?) 问题：逻辑缺失，意义不全 改写：First of all, he(she) should be the right person for me to turn to for help and in turn to offer my favor. 例3. How to make it

38、 perfect. It is very difficult, and no rules for it. Reading the following passage maybe you can get some. (!?) 问题：缺乏统一性，结构散乱，意义不完整。 改写：How to make it perfect is very difficult, because there is no rule in it. Nevertheless, if you read the following passage, you may get something advisable. 例4. By u

39、sing these words, it can show us a very vivid picture of romantic experience. (!?) 问题：缺乏连贯性：Who “using”? 改写：When these words are used, a very vivid picture has appeared before us, which reminds us of our romantic experiences. 例5. There exist two approaches to the solution of this problem: one is by

40、legal means, the other is by market means. (?) 问题：不要一见“一是二是”就是“one isthe other is”、“the first isthe second is”，用与不用得看上下文：前面既然有“two”限定，后面何必还要再数“一二”呢？汉语痕迹太重，显得重复啰嗦。 改写：There exist two approaches to the solution of this problem: by legal means or by market means. 【“two”中用“or”不是“一是二是”又是什么呢？ 】 例6. Words

41、are for writing which purpose is to impress readers. So we must choose different words to express different ideas. (!?) 问题：结构紊乱，上下句缺乏关联，意义不明。 揣摩其意，试改写：One of the purposes for us to choose words in writing is to impress on readers something different. In this case, wed better choose different words t

42、o express different ideas. 例7. When we encounter trouble, we should face with them and overcome them shoulder-by-shoulder. (!?) 问题：不简洁，不连贯，用词错误 改写：When in trouble, we should face it and overcome it shoulder to shoulder /with our joint efforts. 例8. Many people often told me they didnt understand the

43、films want to tell us what after they had watched movies. (!?) 问题：主谓宾打架！连贯性问题 改写：Many people often told me they didnt understand what the films want to tell us after they had watched them. 例9. Being alone can give us plenty of time to read books which offers us a new world which is unable to travel

44、in reality. 问题：“谁” “unable to travel” ? 衔接关系不明！改写：Being alone can give us plenty of time to read books which leads us to a new world we are unable to travel in reality. 例10. Thats why people who like cooperation with others can do their work more smoothly. (!?) 问题：简洁性！改写：Thats why people in cooperation with others can do their work more smoothly(最好还是用“successfully”)